A/N: This chapter is fluffy for the most part but as in previous chapters their may be triggers. Proceed with caution.

When she woke up, sunlight was filtering through the windows, and glimmering on the ocean they could see from the balcony attached to the bedroom. It wasn't a bad way to wake up: her partner's strong, loving arms wrapped around her, the sounds of the calm ocean, the bright sun spreading its warmth through the glass. Had they not come here to escape from a mad man, it would have been a relaxing vacation. She hummed pleasantly, snuggling deeper into the shelter of warmth and safety that was Elliot Stabler. She traced the muscles on his chest absentmindedly, wishing she could wake up like this everyday for the rest of her life.

"Good morning." Her partner spoke in the low, raspy tone that meant he was still half asleep but waking up. It was the sexiest sound she had heard and she shifted to meet his lips. His morning stubble tickled her chin as she did so and she giggled.

"I haven't shaved in a couple days. We can go to a shop today and get some basic stuff."

"I don't mind this." She kissed his chin. "But uh, you do have morning breath." She laughed and swatted him when he moved to kiss her again.

"Well luckily for both of us I saw a couple new toothbrushes and some toothpaste in the bathroom last night. Apparently my kids 'forgot' to use them." She laughed again.

"Go brush your teeth and then come back here."

"Yes ma'am." She snuggled back into the pillows and allowed herself to enjoy the moments of paradise before they had to deal with the reality they faced. She got up when she heard the water turn off after he rinsed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a deep, long kiss before he could say anything. She hummed when his tongue stroked hers.

"Mmm Much better." He chuckled and grinned the signature Stabler smile she loved so much and they exchanged a few small, lazy kisses before she rested her head on his shoulder. "You always smell good in the mornings."

"Just in the mornings?" He smirked and she rolled her eyes.

"Bruised your ego?

"It'll survive."

"Oh great."

"I guess you've got a thing for early morning BO huh?" She laughed.

"It's just you El. Your smell, your voice, your touch. I love you, and everything that comes with you. I think I could get used to waking up like this."

"I love you too beautiful." They lay back down and she snuggled into his arms again while he checked the burner phone.

"Cragen texted. They called Althea's family and her husband and kids are on a plane now." Just like that, the lighthearted, playful mood of the morning was gone.

"Her kids?"

"Two girls, not much older than Lizzie and Dickie."

"She'll never see them grow up, she'll never have lazy, romantic mornings like this with her husband again, she'll never fix her kids breakfast or help them with their homework or kiss them goodnight again and it's all my fault." Tears fell on his chest as she cried, this time more out of guilt and grief than fear.

"Honey it's not. You tried to save her. Lester did this. This is on him, not you."

"I should've known he wasn't dead!"

"How? How could you have known that baby?"

"I should've ignored him at the diner but I didn't. I should've left him that first week but I didn't. I should've run and reported him the first time he shot somebody but I didn't-" He cuts her off before she can continue, wishing with everything in him that he could find a way to spare her anymore pain.

"Olivia if this was somebody else, if a woman came into the precinct. A woman who was the victim of abuse and humiliation by her boyfriend and couldn't keep him from hurting her or anyone else but didn't leave. If she blamed herself for what he did. What would you say? What would Detective Benson tell that woman?"

"I wasn't a victim El, I was an accessory, an accomplice. I was-"

"No." His voice was firm, but laced with concern. "Look at me Olivia." He had tears in his eyes and shook his head.

"He killed her because he was after me."

"That doesn't make it your fault. Honey we see this everyday on the job. Every day. You were victimized, you suffered trauma Liv. He could've easily done to you what he did to Althea. He almost did." His voice cracked. "Is that what you're telling me? That it would have been better if you were the one in the morgue right now? If I was the one who had to go identify a body that had been found and was told it was my partner, the woman I loved more than anything?" She can see the guilt in his eyes now and is quick to comfort him.

"Elliot you got there in time."

"I shouldn't have left you in the first place. I had a weird feeling but I thought I was paranoid. I never should have left you alone. Never."

"You didn't know about Lester-"

"It doesn't matter. You're my partner. I'm supposed to protect you and I feel like I'm failing."

"You're not El. Why would you think that?"

"I took you out to dinner, to a public restaurant while a man was stalking you, then I left you alone at your apartment. We should've stayed at the precinct till White was caught."

"I went willingly, it's not like you kidnapped me and put me in danger El."

"I could've at least put a protective detail on you. You were left with no other protection."

" you're my protection Elliot. Always have been and always will be. I trust you with my life and you know I would've been pissed if you put a detail on me. You're all I need El."

"If I hadn't heard my phone ring-"

"Elliot if we live by what ifs we'll be miserable. You saved me. You comforted me, you held me. You protected me. You still are."

"I'd be a wreck if I lost you Olivia. Please don't blame yourself or think it should've been you anymore ok. Please." She still felt a bit of guilt, but for his sake she nodded and kissed him gently.

"I just...I wish there was something I could've done."

"I know and I wish we had known each other 10 years ago, I wish I could've saved you from all of this."

"We're gonna get him. It won't bring Althea back but it will keep him from hurting anyone else." Her voice was determined now. She wasn't Audine Higgs anymore. She was Olivia Benson and Olivia Benson didn't go down without fighting with everything she had.

"I'll kill him Liv. I mean it, he'll be dead for real this time. I'm gonna shoot until we're certain there's no pulse. I'm just going to prepare you now."

"Elliot, as much as he deserves it, you don't. You could lose your shield, end up in jail."

"But you'll be safe."

"I need you El. I need you with me. Not at Rikers. Please promise me you won't do anything that would change that." She replied sternly.

"I hate him for the torture and pain he's caused you."

"So do I. But I can't let him destroy us, I can't let him break the one thing in my life I can count on. Please." He kissed her forehead, and wrapped his arms around her tighter.

"Ok."

X

They got up and went to breakfast, then headed to a store for food and other basic necessities and by the time they got back to the beach house, it almost felt like just a vacation despite the grim reality.

Now they were taking a walk on the beach hand in hand. They had found a beach dress and swim trunks in the closet and Elliot had bought a small bag at the store to keep the burner phone and his gun in. Olivia almost wanted to roll her eyes at his overprotectiveness but she would never in a million years want to go through this alone so she just sighed and smiled and decided she would keep humoring him. She laughed when he stopped and twirled her around as they walked to the shore.

"What are you doing?"

"You've never danced on a beach before?"

"What would you say if I told you this is the first one I've been to?" She took off her sandals and wrapped her arms around them as the water lapped at their feet.

"This is nice actually. Despite everything going on this is nice." She leaned her forehead against his and kissed him, allowing herself to relax for the first time since the terrifying night before and melt into her partner's embrace as he deepened the kiss.

"We'll make this our vacation house. Anytime we have off and need to get away." She leaned in and kissed him again when he smiled at her. She could spend days just looking at his smile and his calming blue eyes as his strong, protective arms locked around her securely. They heard the phone ring and Olivia groaned but didn't break their kiss, wanting to escape the frightening reality as long as she could.

"It's...Cragen...I...have...to...answer." Elliot got out between kisses even though he didn't want to stop either.

"Stabler." He gave Olivia one last kiss as Cragen spoke on the other line, but the words he heard made him pull away and his face morph into a mix of anger and concern. "When? Crap. I'll-I'll tell her. God does this guy ever sleep!? Thanks Cap. You guys too." He hung up and looked back at Olivia. His heart cracked at the news he would have to give her. She didn't deserve this. She deserved happiness, love, and safety. Not this.

"Did he find us?" Her voice was shaking.

"Come on sweetie, we should go back inside."

"Elliot just tell me! Please!" She was pale and he cupped her cheek in his hand.

"He found your mother."

"Oh god...I should've called her and warned her I-...is she?" She couldn't finish her sentence and he nodded grimly.

"Cap said Munch and Jeffries saw her at the hospital before she…" He swallowed unable to say the word 'died'. "She told them a man had come to her house and she freaked out because she didn't know him. She wasn't drunk but had opened a bottle and he asked if he could come inside. He had a gun so she let him. He asked her where you were and she said she didn't know. She said the last thing she remembered was telling him to pour her a drink and she'd tell him about you-"

"She was trying to save herself...trying to negotiate." Olivia shook her head, unable to believe any of this was happening."

"They think he put cyanide or something in her drink. She uh...she died 20 minutes ago." Silent tears made their way down her cheeks and Elliot pulled her into his arms.

"I ruined her life, I ruined her life when she found out she was pregnant with me and I ruined it every day since till she died."

"Liv-"

"Don't Elliot. Just don't." He said nothing and just kissed the top of her head. She was shaking, but he could tell she wasn't sure she should cry for the woman.

"I would never have met him if I hadn't wanted to get away from her Elliot. This is all my fault. All of it and nothing you can say will change that fact." She pushed lightly at his chest but he held her tight."

"You can let it out Olivia. It's alright."

"Who's next!? How many more till they find him and he's dead for real this time!? How many more people is he gonna take from me El? How long before he finds us!? How long before he finds us, kills you and tortures me before dumping me somewhere?"

"Olivia-" She rips out of his arms and runs back to the house.

"I'm here you son of a bitch! You happy now! I'm here! Do whatever you want to me, I don't care anymore just leave everyone alone! Leave my family alone! Leave my friends alone! Just...just le-" Elliot catches her as she collapses into sobs.

"It's just me Livia. He's not here. It's just me. I've got you. It's alright. I've got you. I'm here."

"We weren't close..but she-she didn't deserve this she didn't deserve-"

"I know honey. I know."

"Elliot I'm serious. You need to leave. The longer you stay with me the bigger chance something bad will happen to you-"

"I'm not going anywhere." He replied firm but calm tone.

"Damn it El! Don't you get it!? I'm a curse! Everyone I love gets hurt, everyone I try to be friends with gets hurt. Everyone who loves me either turns out to be a psychopathic abuser or gets killed and I can't...I can't lose you Elliot. But I-"

"Sweetheart I promised you-"

"I know, I know you did. But Elliot you have 4 kids that need their father-"

"You need me too."

"I do. But I have no right to have you. Not when this could all end in you lying in the morgue and having to tell your kids-"

"Liv, that's not going to happen."

"HOW DO YOU KNOW!?" She was screaming at him now. "You can't catch him Elliot. No one can. Protecting me from him will only result in your death. There's no way to win this."

"You think me losing you will be easier?"

"You'll find someone. Someone who makes you happy. Someone without all of my baggage and you'll-"

"No I won't. Because I'll spend the rest of my life comparing every single person to you and Olivia, baby, no one else measures up. Not in my eyes." She sobbed, wishing he wasn't so stubborn.

"Elliot if something happened to you-"

"It won't."

"You're not making this easy-"

"I love you Olivia. I can't just stop. I won't."

"What are we supposed to do?"

"We're gonna figure it out sweetheart. I promise." She finally lets him pull her into an embrace again and he sways them from side to side to comfort her, kissing her head gently.

"I'm scared." She snuggles closer and holds him tighter. "But not just for myself."

"I know honey, I know, but I won't leave your side. Not now, not ever."

"You better not. Cause I'm too attached El. I don't want to be without you. It's a dark and lonely world without you Stabler."

"I won't ever leave you alone. I'd make sure someone looked after you even if I couldn't." She sniffled and buried her face in his chest clinging to him.

"God I don't...I don't even wanna think about-"

"I know sweetie. I don't either." He leans down to kiss her tears away.

"I love you. No matter what happens I love you. You can lean on me, what ever you need. I love you."

"El I-" She sobs wishing this nightmare would be over.

"I love you. I know there's a lot of uncertainty right now but that's one thing you can count on ok?" She nods against his chest. "I love you so much Olivia. So much. I can't leave you because I'd be going out of my mind. You make me a better man-"

"When I'm not nearly getting you killed you mean?"

"Shhhh...it's alright. I know you're hurting sweetie but I love you. I need you to know that. I need you to trust that."

"I do Elliot. I always do."

"Ok. That's all that matters right now ok. We can get through this. As long as you know that, as long as we stay together we can get through this.

"I love you too El." She sniffled.

"Right now we're safe here. Cragen will let us know if we need to leave ok?"

"Ok."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to either one of us, and I will never leave your side or give up on you ok?"

"Elliot-"

"I love you. You're my priority, you and my kids are my world. You're worth more to me than you'll ever know." They sit on the couch and he cradles her in his arms.

"I love you."

"You said that."

"And I will keep saying it every day for the rest of our lives because it's not gonna change. Ever."

They are interrupted by the sound of a door opening.

A/N: Who could it be? Find out next time! Thanks for reading :)

I'm on my IPad, so I don't have the editing software I do on my desktop. But hopefully this is readable. Let me know if it's not.