Ch2

When the sun rose announcing the beginning of a brand new day, it came too early. Akira got up, feeling more tired than before. Had he gotten any sleep? Any at all? By the way his eyes felt dry and blinked against the harsh morning light, not likely. He sighed, rubbing at his eyes. Silently, more out of habit than out of consideration for others since he was alone, he made his way to the bathroom. A warm shower could fix anything, right?

Right.

He needed to move out of the house soon.

It must be the emptiness that was getting to him.

That was all.

He closed his eyes as he stepped under the hot spray of water. Mentally shying away from the darker thoughts, he started making a list of his schedule. He didn't have a game today. He had one student in the morning before class, two in the afternoon after school.

He was supposed to meet Shindo after all of that but Akira wasn't going to hold his breath.

Not today anyway.

Why bother?

The shower over, he slipped a towel around himself and tried not to shiver as the cold nipped at his skin.

/Took too much and now I'm done

It's all over but the crying/

1rst. 2nd. 3rd. Last.

Silly really how much placement meant to people. Akira was on the bus, trying vainly to concentrate on his history text which he usually got some enjoyment out of reading. After all, it was important to know what had happened in the past, what had occurred that had set up for the events currently happening. How else could anyone even understand what was happening now if they had no knowledge of the past?

Yet today the words held no meaning.

It wasn't raining today, though it felt like it should. Just so it could match his mood. Just so Akira could feel justified in having such a gloomy mind set. But no, it was sunny. Not overly sunny yet not cloudy either. It was one of those days that made both types of people happy, those who liked beautiful sunny days and those who liked overcast days. It changed with the passing minutes from one to the other.

It was… annoying.

/Do you really think I'm made of stone baby?

C'mon/

He flipped back a page, realizing belatedly that he didn't remember what he'd been reading about and that he had no idea who this person even was or why he was important. Berating himself silently, he was startled when his cell phone vibrated against his leg, from his coat pocket.

Who the hell could be calling him now?

He fished the usually convenient piece of technology and glanced at the screen.

1 Missed Call, 1 Message.

Akira blinked before dialing the number to get to his voice mail. The missed call was dated from yesterday. His eyes widened slightly as Shindo's voice followed that of the automatic general message explaining how many messages he had in his voice mail, his options of what to do with his voice mails and etc.

"Hey Touya…" The voice that was usually so vibrant sounded sheepish at first. As the message continued though, a defensive tone rose and took over. "I…uh missed you today. Sorry about that. I did get to your dad's go salon though. You were already gone though. You sure went home early. Anyway, something came up and well, we can meet today instead right? So no big deal, k? And please don't give me your usual lecture, ok? I get the whole responsible act enough from my…Shut up Waya!" The message went downhill from there. Akira's lips twitched slightly as if unsure whether they wanted to frown or smile. They did neither finally, a carefully composed and detached face settling on Akira like a mask. He deleted the message.

So Shindo hadn't come yesterday because he'd been with Waya and Isumi-san. Not that surprising after all.

They, hw, or Shindo's mother were the three excuses that usually kept Shindo from keeping his promises.

Did that make him 4th than in Shindo's priorities?

Akira tried to hide the wince the little thought had brought on. He turned his eyes back to reading the finely printed words.

Probably lower than 4th…after all, Shindo sometimes didn't have any excuses.

Shut up!

And he never asks how you are.

Shut up!

Definitely lower than 4th place.

Akira snapped the book shut, giving up. It was no use. He wouldn't get any reading done at this rate. And in any case, he was almost at the Go institute where his first student would be meeting him. The bus was already slowing down as Akira quickly shoved his textbook in his school bag. He stood up, the bus coming to a complete stop making him lean forward for a moment. Akira walked out, saying thank you to the bus driver, like he usually did.

And then he made his way up the stairs or was about to when he heard voices calling his name.

He turned around.

"Touya!" Shindo gave him a carefree smile. Behind him Waya frowned. "What are you doing here so early? I thought you didn't have a game today."

"I don't." Akira kept his answers short. He only had a limited amount of time. "I'm tutoring a go student here today. Excuse me." He nodded to them and started to walk again.

"What the hell is his problem? Too good to stay and chat?" Waya hissed, too quiet for his normal tone of voice and yet loud enough for Akira to hear. "What? He doesn't have to be so high and almighty with us. Cold bastard."

And Shindo? Well Shindo's words, Akira didn't hear them. The door had closed behind him. And perhaps it was for the better.

/That we only love the things we own?

Baby you're wrong./

"Oy Touya…wait up!" Shindo's voice was starting to haunt him. He paused in his footsteps again, carefully schooling his face to hide whatever he was feeling to the other boy. Whether it was frustration, agitation, hurt…it didn't matter. "Ignore Waya by the way. He's…" Shindo waved a hand in the air as if that explained things away. "Did you get my message yesterday?" Akira nodded before clearing his voice.

"I got it this morning."

"Ah." Both of them continued walking in the same direction. "So…uhm are we still on for today?" Akira felt tired. No more than tired. He felt cheated. Of what, he wasn't sure.

"If that's what you want to do." He was surprised by how civil it came out. Oh he was getting really good at that. Shindo gave him a look.

"I do."

"Then yes." They removed their shoes and Akira figuring that the conversation was over, was about to start heading into the actual game room.

"Wait up! Jeez…You're all…" Shindo trailed off and gave Akira a look again. "You ok?" The question threw Akira off guard and it took him a minute before finding his voice.

"Why wouldn't I be?" The thing that he did wrong next was actually looking at the other young man in the eyes. The grey-green eyes held him in that position, serious and looking almost…worried? They were intense and usually that intensity was reserved for the go games. His stomach clenched, uncomfortable with the situation-- uncomfortable with the emotions warring within him.

"…I…" Shindo started, the uncharacteristic seriousness not leaving him. "You're just not being yourself, that's all." Subdued. And it wasn't worry in those eyes. Guilt maybe? Or was it pity… God only knew what Ichikawa-san could have told Shindo if he really had stopped by the go salon.

"As if you'd know." Akira found himself replying. The minute the words left him though, his throat tightened almost painfully. An awkward silence wrapped around the two go players as Shindo's eyes widened in surprise and pain when the words were acknowledged. He looked away, hands tightening. "I need to go." Akira muttered, more to himself than to Shindo.

/Certain things just happen when you make no plans/

This time when Akira started to walk away, Shindo let him. Shying away from whatever his mental voices might say, Akira started to re-schedule his day. Perhaps…perhaps today, he would not go to his father's go salon. But that small thought alone was enough to make his stomach cramp…

To Be Continued...