Chapter 2: Ask the Impossible
Fowl Manor 9:28 PM
Artemis Fowl squinted and backed away from the window. He pulled the binoculars from his desk, and the communicator Holly had given him. He pressed the transmit button. There was no response. He looked out into the night sky again. The figures were still approaching without shielding, using the fairy magic that allowed them to become invisible to the human eye. Whoever was operating those wings was not Holly Short. The flight path was far too erratic. He tried to focus on the incoming pilot, but he or she was weaving too much.
He took his cell phone from its holster and pressed the speed dial.
"I see them," Butler answered without greeting. "The pilot is a Dwarf, possibly Mulch, but I can't be certain from this distance. Move to study on the fourth floor until identity is confirmed."
"Acknowledged," Artemis replied.
Butler hung up and Artemis ducked out into the hall. He could hear the gala downstairs. Several unprofessional voices had started caroling. He was halfway up the steps to the fourth floor when Butler called him.
"They've changed trajectory. They're still heading for you. If you're carrying any LEP gear ditch it."
Artemis still he the communicator with him. He dropped it into the vase that decorated the alcove in the stairwell, and continued on. He paused at the top of the steps, annoyingly out of breath. He walked quickly to the study. The door he entered through was the only way into the room. There were no windows. He went to one of the desks and turned on the older model desktop that occupied it. It was his mother's, and though she usually used it to look up home décor ideas on the net, it did have enough processing power to access the Manor's external security cameras.
The computer took several moments to find the cameras he wanted. He blinked. The Dwarf was most definitely Mulch and he was carrying Holly, whose head was lolling around on her neck. She can't be dead, he thought, momentarily stunned. Fortunately not all of his mental processes had frozen up. Another part of his brain struggled for his attention, noting that the Dwarf had lowered his head and squared his shoulders, noting that he was coming straight at the outside wall of the study, and noting above all that he wasn't slowing down.
Artemis threw his hands in front of his face a just as the wall exploded. An airborne two by four sent both the teenager and the desk bouncing across the room and bits of stone shrapnel stung Artemis through his suit. Before he could gather his thoughts, a small hairy man was pushing rubble off of him and tugging him to his feet. Mulch's plaintive voice finally wormed its way into his ringing ears.
"-Warlocks said they couldn't do anything more for her. They were just going to take her back to Haven. But she wouldn't have wanted that. She likes to be on the surface, you know? Elves don't like it underground-"
Artemis looked where Mulch was dragging him. A set of LEP wings sat in the corner of the room and in front of it Holly Short lay face down on the carpet. Her eyes were half open and her breathing was shallow. Her back was covered in what looked like anti-radiation foam, the same foul smelling stuff they had sprayed on him after he had crawled through the plasma conduits in Koboi labs. If it was radiation burns he didn't know what Mulch expected him to do.
"What happened? Articulate," Artemis ordered.
Mulch was shaking. "At Tara there was…well it was…there were four of them but only one at first-"
Artemis shook the Dwarf by his shoulders. "What happened to Holly?"
"Demons!" he finally choked out. "Nobody's seen them in 10,000 years and then they just show up at Tara while everyone is doing the ritual. And of course Holly thinks it's her job to stop them from eating tourists. She got clawed up pretty bad, but her magic patched up all the little stuff, but then, on her back. It's some kind of…I don't know what, but its eating away at her and we can't get it off"
"What's this?" Artemis asked pointing at the foam.
"The Warlocks put it on to keep it from spreading, but I don't think its working."
"What am I expected to do?" Artemis asked.
Mulch looked as if he was a moment away from bursting into tears. "You have to help her. You're the Mud Boy who out smarted the LEP and escaped the time field. You can fix this!" the Dwarf said with absolute conviction.
Artemis swallowed. He knew the basics of human anatomy and first aid, but he was by no means a surgeon. He ran to the bathroom down the hall and pulled the medical kit from the cabinet beneath the sink. His mother had insisted they keep at least one kit on each floor, though to his memory the Fowls had never needed more then a bandage from it. He rushed back to the study.
Artemis took off his jacket and rolled it up, stuffing the thousand dollar Armani masterpiece under the Holly's head. He pulled on a pair of latex gloves. He knelt down and began to wipe away the foam.
"What's been tried already?" he asked.
Mulch paced nervously. "That elf…Major Trouble Kelp, he tried to heal her with his magic. It slowed it down for a few minutes but that was it. They tried giving her an acorn so she could complete the ritual and recharge her own magic, but it didn't work. She couldn't do the ritual. I don't know. She can't have lost her magic, cause she's still sparking every once in a while. Uh…"
"Focus," Artemis ordered.
The foam was mostly cleared away, staining the already ruined carpet of the study. Artemis took the alcohol wash from the kit and poured it over the wound. It hissed and smoked. He looked at the bottle in his hand again, making certain it wasn't peroxide. Alcohol shouldn't react like that. As the last of the wash evaporated the extent of the damage could be inferred if not directly seen.
A thick layer of green slime covered most of her back. At the edge of the slime, tiny blue sparks appeared with depressing irregularity. Even as he watched the slime spread, creeping slowly up towards her neck and down toward her legs.
"What else did they try?" Artemis asked, wishing desperately that Butler would arrive.
His bodyguard must have seen Mulch hit the wall. Artemis' hand went to the cell phone clipped to his belt. He felt the keys under his fingers. Surprised he looked down. The top half of the phone was missing, probably broken when the wall was.
"The Warlocks, the three they sent up anyway, they tried some spells. I didn't understand what they were doing. Whatever it was it didn't work, and they said it was all they could do. Kelp got…uh…very upset. A Warlock got shoved. Anyway, Kelp tried burning it, which didn't help, and he tried to cut it out with his knife, but it just sank in, and…he tried pulling it out with his hands and it nearly burned off his fingers. The Warlocks had to heal him."
Artemis drew back his own hands. His head felt as if it were full of sparks as he tried to pull up every thing he knew about the Fomorians, the ancient Demon enemy of the Fairy People. He didn't have much. The Book, which listed all of the People's laws, barely mentioned them. What it did say was a footnote relating to the succession of Fairy kings. It mentioned something about the Fomorian's defeat and banishment. There was nothing about necrotizing green slime.
"What do you know about Demons?" Artemis asked.
"Nothing really, just stuff from the movies, and I know most of that is made up."
"Tell me anyway."
So for the next three minutes Mulch told him. As Artemis picked and poked at the slime with tweezers and swabs and sprinkled it with disinfectants, antibiotics, and anesthetics, Mulch told him. He told him that Demons were supposedly linked to fire, water, air, or earth depending on the type. He told him they could possess humans and steal their souls. They hated Fairies and their magic was poison to them. They tended to target people who were making out when they shouldn't be. They liked to hang out in graveyards. They used blood in their magic. They were afraid of mirrors and holy water. They tended to melt at the end of the film.
None of it seemed useful.
Artemis tried again to pull off a bit of the slime with the tweezers. If he could get it under a microscope he might be able to do…something. The slime moved away from the metal probe, sinking further into Holly's flesh until another blue spark drove it back out.
"It seems almost conscious," Artemis said.
Mulch shrugged. Artemis moved the tweezers toward the edge of the wound, thinking he might be able to drive it away for a moment allowing Holly's magic to make a little progress. Of course he didn't count on Holly moving, or on the slime touching his gloved hand.
Even through the glove he could feel it. The sensation ran up his arm and into his chest, a strange feeling halfway between hunger and nausea. He pulled his hand away. The glove was discolored, but as he peeled it off the skin underneath seemed unharmed. He backed away shaking. Where is Butler?
Artemis racked his brain. They could try hitting the slime with UV or with microwaves, but that could do more harm to Holly. Absently he smoothed down his hair and winced as a sharp sting shot through his scalp. His hand came away sticky with blood. Something had cut him when Mulch broke through the wall and he hadn't even noticed. Holly started to wheeze and he leaned down. If she stopped breathing he didn't know what he could do. She started to curl up in a ball. He straightened her out, but it didn't help. What next, C.P.R. and adrenalin shots? Where is Butler?
"It's moving," Mulch said.
"What?"
"It's moving!"
Artemis turned. A strand of green slime was oozing toward his bloody hand.
Where is Butler?
Fowl Manor, The Dinning HallButler was struggling. He'd seen Mulch crash through the wall of the study, and Artemis hadn't answered his phone since. Something was most definitely wrong. But now, standing between him and his charge was the one obstacle Butler could not over come, Artemis Fowl the first, his boss.
"-so I do not believe it is necessary for you to escort him around the party itself," Mr. Fowl said.
I should have taken the long way around, up the servant's stairs, Butler thought. Out loud he said "Yes sir."
He'd been in too much of a rush to get to Artemis, and he had cut through the party to save time. If Mr. Fowl didn't stop talking soon, he'd have to cut him off, which would lead to all sorts of awkwardness, and Mr. Fowl would probably follow him. He had to find some way to get past but he couldn't very well mention the presence of invading fairies.
"You understand how important it is for Artemis to socialize," Mr. Fowl continued.
"Yes sir," Butler replied. "I'll bring him here directly."
"No," Mr. Fowl said, sternly. "I will fetch him. If you are here he'll stand next to you and not talk to anyone. You may continue your patrols of the Manor and grounds."
"Sir, some of your guest have not been subjected to thorough background checks-"
"He will be safe enough. Go and patrol the grounds," Mr. Fowl said.
Butler considered arguing, but that would only waste more time. Instead he nodded and left the hall by the door he had entered through. Once out of sight he ran for the servant's stairs on the other side of the manor. His lungs burned but he couldn't breathe any more deeply, the side effect of a fairy healing gone a little wrong. Holly Short had save his life, but now he had what was basically a flack-jacket embedded in the living tissue of his chest. He was very aware of his reduced lung capacity as he took the steps two at a time.
As he ran he went over the possible scenarios unfolding in the study. Judging by the manner in which they arrived, Holly was probably injured. But if it was something Holly couldn't heal he didn't know what the Faries were expecting from them. They could be running from the LEP, though he couldn't imagine Holly doing anything illegal, or allowing Mulch to pull anything. It was possible she had been framed for a crime, again. This could also mean that an LEP retrieval squad was hot on their heals. He was prepared to deal with another squad, but it wouldn't add to the ambiance of Mrs. Fowl's Christmas party. His vision was starting to get red at the edges and he forced himself to slow down. It wouldn't do Artemis any good if he burst through the door and promptly passed out and, knowing Artemis, there was probably a troll involved by now.
Fowl Manor, The Study"I don't think that's a good idea," Mulch said.
"I agree with you," Artemis said. "If you have something better I eagerly await your next words."
Mulch said nothing. He just handed Artemis another alcohol wipe. Artemis' mind was still whirling with ideas but now they were ones he didn't want. He thought of how Butler or even Mulch should be doing this instead of him. He thought of how unlikely it was that Holly would survive even if they did get the demon slime off. He thought it was more likely that they would both die then that either of them would live. I want to live.
The slime had tried to grab his hand. He'd pulled away in time, thanks to Mulch's warning. In the following few minutes Artemis had tried a few experiments. He'd waved his clean hand over the slime to no effect, but the blood spattered one incited it to reach for him, and as it did it uncovered a bit of Holly. He had tried to lure it away with a syringe of his own blood (the extraction of which he found to be incredibly unpleasant as it took four tries to get the vein), but that didn't manage to get them very far either. He tried to leave a trail of blood drops to draw it away. It reached for the drops but lost interest in them as soon as they hit the carpet. It clearly required live bait.
The scalpel in the medical kit was still in its sterile packaging, so he wasn't worried about infection. He looked down at his left arm. He wanted to draw blood but he didn't want to mess up the muscle as he intended to pull his arm out of the way before the thing latched on. Mulch stood watching him, the vase from the stairwell in his hands. It looked very large compared to the Dwarf. They'd taken out the communicator but Foaly didn't respond to their calls. Artemis squatted down on the newspaper they'd laid out on the floor. His held the scalpel, glaring at a hand that wouldn't remain steady.
"You're thinking about it too much," Mulch said.
Artemis glared at him. "Just worry about your end of things."
Mulch's part was simple. Once Artemis had lured the slime onto the paper, Mulch would bring over the vase and they would dump it in and put the lid on. It was a plan so simple that everything could go wrong.
"It'll be like a shaving cut," Mulch said encouragingly.
"Dwarf's shave?" Artemis asked nervously.
"Gods no! Our hair's still alive, but I though all Mud Men did."
Artemis made a face at him. He winced in advance and cut.
"OW!" Artemis couldn't help but yell.
He looked down at his arm and frowned. It was barely more then a paper-cut. He would have to do it again. This time he kept his eyes open. Blood ran down his forearm and dripped from his fingertips. He swallowed.
"Ready?"
"Hurry up Mud Boy!" was Mulch's reply.
He held his arm over the slime and let blood drip down on it. The slime reached. Artemis let the blood drip on Holly's back and on the paper next to her. The slime reached for his arm rather then following the drops. Frowning Artemis crouched down, letting his hand rest on the paper at Holly's side. The slime reached. So slowly that he didn't even crinkle the paper, Artemis backed away. The slime reached further, with equal lethargy uncovering Holly's wound. Sparks appeared but he couldn't tell if she was actually healing.
The slime crawled more quickly, rapidly flowing from the injured elf to the floor. It was a lot bigger then Artemis had thought. He backed away and his shoes touched the carpet. The end of the slime was still in the wound.
"Mulch," Artemis called in a shaking voice. "You're going to have to knock the end off of her, because it's not letting go."
"What?"
"Use the lid, scoop the end of it out of the wound, and drag her away so it can't crawl back."
"Can't you?" Mulch whined.
Artemis stopped shaking long enough to give him an icy glare. The Dwarf set down the vase and held the lid as if he were about to throw the discus.
"On three," Mulch said. "One, two, two and a half…uh…" he leaned down. "Three!"
He scraped the lid across Holly's back so hard she almost rolled into the slime on the paper. The end of the slime came free and he dropped the lid. He grabbed Holly's legs and dragged her across the room.
Artemis had about .02 seconds to sigh in relief before he realized the slime was now moving a lot faster and towards him. Artemis scrambled to his feet and held his injured arm above his head, trying to hide it from the slime. It didn't seem fooled. It slid across the carpet toward him. He sidestepped, and the slime chased him in a circle around the room.
"This is getting a little ridiculous," Artemis huffed, on his fifth circuit of the room. "Mulch, could you do something?"
Mulch, who had set Holly on top of one of the study's desks, looked at him questioningly. "What should I do?"
"Get the vase. I'll try to get it back on the paper!"
After six more circuits around the room they finally pulled it off. The slime crawled over the paper and Mulch rolled it up in there and stuffed it in the vase. Artemis grabbed the lid and slammed it on. He rushed to the medical kit and pulled out the bottle of liquid bandage, pouring it around the top and hoping that it would seal the slime in. They both stood watching the vase for a moment. It rattled a bit and then settled.
Artemis took a deep breath and then walked over to Holly. Her breathing was shallow but regular. The flesh where the slime had touched looked as if it had been burned with acid. Sparks so small they were almost invisible popped up in the injury. In the mess of red Artemis saw a little bit of evenly space white.
"Is that her spine?" he asked.
Mulch just looked nauseous. Artemis frowned. If she were human she'd probably need skin grafts, and in her current condition she was probably very vulnerable to infection. He started to run his hands through his hair again when he noticed there was blood all over his shirt, and his arm was still oozing. In the sudden stillness of the room he realized he could still hear people singing at the party. His father would probably come looking for him soon, and he had to find out what happened to Butler.
"Mulch, I have to go downstairs for a bit. I'll find Butler and send him up. Keep an eye on Holly. If the…slime gets out of the vase get Holly out of here and set something on fire. The alarms will go off and it will clear the building."
Mulch nodded. "Tell Butler to bring something to eat while he's at it."
Artemis laughed and it sounded slightly hysterical even to him. He shut the door behind him. His suit was ruined of course. He was covered in blood and sweat and plaster. He found himself hurrying as he descended the stairs. He could hear someone coming up from a lower floor. It likely wasn't Butler. The steps were too slow. He got off on the third floor and headed for his room. He checked his watch. It was 9:52. It had seemed so much longer.
He opened the door to his room and stopped dead. His father was standing in front of the door with his arms crossed and a disappointed look schooled onto his features. Artemis suspected he'd been practicing it while waiting. Of course that look vanished as he took in Artemis' appearance and the blood running down his arm.
"D'Arvit," Artemis mumbled under his breath.