Chapter 3: Fall Out
Fowl Manor, Artemis' Room
"Hello Father," Artemis said, in what he thought was a completely calm tone. "Have you seen Butler?"
As he spoke he slowly began to tuck his left arm behind his back. His forehead started to itch and he hoped the liquid he felt trickling there was only sweat. That hope was dashed when his father's hands darted out and caught the sides of his head.
"What happened?" demanded his father, as he tilted Artemis' head around and picked through his hair, inspecting the gash in his scalp.
Artemis thought fast. To the uninformed observer it would appear instantaneous, but to Artemis the idea seemed to take forever to form, and he suspected his father would notice the pause as well.
"I was in the bathroom down the hall. I was pushing open the window and it fell out of the frame. It hit me on the head, but it's nothing serious, Father. I'm going to speak to Butler about it directly though. I'm rather surprised he didn't notice it was faulty when he inspected the Manor before the party."
His father was staring at him, still not letting go of his head. Artemis composed a mental checklist. Not only would he have to get the wall on the fourth floor repaired, but he was going to have to get Butler to knock out the window in the bathroom.
"I just need to retrieve my jacket," Artemis said. "Mother's expecting us at the party after all."
His father let go, though the suspicious staring continued. Artemis stepped past him carefully moving his left arm around in front of him as he did. He headed for his closet and for an entire half second he thought he had a chance of getting away with it. Then his father's hand came down on his shoulder.
"There's blood all over the back of your shirt," his father said in a strangely flat voice.
"It's nothing," Artemis insisted, trying to shrug him off.
"Turn around," his father ordered, even as he got hold of his other shoulder and 'helped' him along.
Artemis really did not appreciate being manhandled, even by family.
"Hold out your arms," his father ordered.
"I really do not see the point of all this-" Artemis began.
"Now."
Artemis obeyed, cursing his decision to wear short sleeves.
"The glass broke. They're very shallow. It's nothing to worry about," Artemis hurried to explain.
He was surprised at himself. He'd never lied that badly before. Of course he'd never been caught before either. It was a new experience and he honestly did not care for it. His father's eyes ran over the cuts and up to the puncture wounds in the crook of his arm, where Artemis had eventually succeeded in drawing blood.
"Let's go see it then," his father said.
"What?" Artemis asked.
"Let's go have a look at the broken bathroom window. We can get a bandage for you while we're at it."
Artemis opened his mouth, but he couldn't come up with anything even slightly convincing. His father turned him around again and marched him out of the room.
"You may not have noticed," his father said, "But you are covered in plaster dust. There's a trail of it leading to the stairs. Perhaps we should have a look at those first."
Artemis looked down. His black suit pants were indeed covered in the tell-tail white dust. He wondered how he could have missed that. He considered running for it, not that that was much of an option. Despite having a prosthetic leg his father was still much faster then he was. His mind whirled as they walked up the steps. Artemis dragged his feet and stomped. It was a very blatant attempt to warn Mulch they were coming but the Dwarf was clever, he might be able to hide himself, Holly, and the vase full of demon slime before they got there.
The door of the study was closed, but Artemis could hear someone moving around behind it. He looked down at his traitorous footprints, at their highest concentration there. Perhaps things weren't beyond salvaging.
"Father there is a very good reason to keep this door closed. We should turn around and go downstairs, please."
His father looked him in the eye. "What reason?"
"I can not disclose-"
His father cut him off by opening the door.
The hole in the wall caught his father's attention first. He stared for a moment. Artemis looked to the spot where he'd left Holly, but she and Mulch were both gone. Instead of the fairies, the room was occupied by a slightly perplexed Butler.
Fowl Manor, The Study (four minutes earlier)
Butler recognized the footprints on the steps as Artemis' but he kept going. The prints were evenly spaced and firmly planted, indicating and even stride. His charge was not seriously injured, and the isolated footprints indicated he was alone. Whatever was going on in the study was probably the priority.
Butler could hear voices coming from the floor above. One of them he recognized. Butler took the Sig Sauer from its holster as he approached the door. Mulch was talking to someone else, another fairy since they were speaking gnomish. Slowly, with stealth that would have made a cat jealous, he turned the knob and pushed the door open a few centimeters, lifting it as he did so the hinges wouldn't creak.
Two LEPrecons were hovering outside the Manor, clearly visible through the meter wide hole in the wall. The fairies would not be able to enter the Manor without an invitation from a human who lived there, so Butler wasn't terribly worried about them. They could shoot into the building out of spite he supposed, but LEP officers were usually more professional then that. He pushed open the door another foot and slipped inside. The fairy that was talking didn't immediately notice Butler enter, but the officer behind him did, and he let out a very unprofessional shriek.
Mulch jumped and turned, but when he saw it was Butler he relaxed a little. Butler took in the rest of the room. What he saw lying on one of the desks nearly made him drop his gun; well, as near as a Butler ever came to dropping his or her weapon in a combat situation. The barrel actually lowered several centimeters. His sensei would have cracked his skull if she saw him.
Holly Short was stretched out on top of a reading desk with Artemis' jacket rolled up under her head. The elf's tiny hands were clenched around the fabric and her eyes were half open. The expression was very understandable though, considering the state of her back. It looked as if she'd been splashed with acid. Her healing magic was working on the wound, but it was very weak.
"What happened?" Butler asked Mulch.
"She was attacked by Demons-"
The Dwarf cut himself off. Everyone in the room heard the stomping in the stairwell. Butler pointed at the LEP officer hovering outside.
"Cam foil, quick! Then shield," he ordered.
The fairy tossed him a sheet of the thin polymer cloth. Butler carefully picked up Holly and put her in the foot well under the desk and then shoved Mulch into the cramped space as well. Mulch pointed desperately to a vase on the other side of the room, and Butler thrust it into his arms before covering the two fairies in the foil. The cam foil shimmered for a moment and then blended seamlessly with the shadows under the desk. He noticed the LEP wings sitting in the corner as the knob started to turn and pitched them through the hole in the wall. Butler stepped back just as the door opened and Mr. Fowl and a very disheveled Artemis stood staring at him.
Artemis was so relieved he almost smiled. Butler had come to the rescue after all. Artemis' bodyguard didn't flinch under his father's gaze.
"Sir," Butler said neutrally.
Artemis' eyes darted to the corner. The vase was gone and through the hole in the wall he saw the telltale shimmer of a shielded fairy. For a moment he thought Holly might have recovered enough to hide herself and Mulch, but then he noticed the way Butler was standing. The towering bodyguard's posture was too casual to be casual. He had put himself between the door and one of the desks in the study. Holly and Mulch were probably underneath it. That meant the fairies outside were probably from LEPrecon.
"Butler, what happened here?" Artemis' father asked.
"I'm not certain sir. Please move to yourself and Artemis to a more secure location until I've had time to complete another sweep of the Manor."
"It looks safe enough to me," said Mr. Fowl as he stepped into the room.
"Sir, I must insist-" Butler began in a no-buts tone.
"I'll take it under advisement," Mr. Fowl said sharply.
Artemis stood, jaw clenched as his father inspected the stained carpet and the damaged wall. His father went to the smashed remains of the computer. Butler stepped out of his way, and Artemis could tell he was torn. No doubt his bodyguard wanted to inspect his injuries, but he couldn't move without leaving the desk open to Mr. Fowl's inspection.
"It looks as if a wrecking ball hit the side of the Manor," his father said. "But of course that did not happen."
Butler waved Artemis over and began checking his injuries. The bodyguard's eyebrow went up as he saw the punctures in the crook of Artemis' arm, but he didn't say anything. Instead he took a handkerchief from his pocket and pressed it to the still bleeding cut on his forearm. Artemis halfway bit back a yelp.
"This is going to need stitches," Butler said.
As he spoke Artemis noticed Butlers' free hand. Slowly he began to fingerspell in sign language.
L. E. P. 2 F. O. R. H.S. & M. D.
Artemis nodded. They needed a distraction so Holly and Mulch could leave. Artemis did have one last resort. He detested using it. It was not that he hadn't practiced it to perfection, or that he was embarrassed by it, but rather it was the guilt that made him desperate for another solution. Still, the only other thing he could think of was to ask the LEP to stun his father and perform a memory wipe, and that would lead to all sorts of unpleasant consequences. Artemis only hoped that the fairies wouldn't interfere. He signaled to Butler, who frowned but nodded. Artemis took three steps toward his father and proceeded to have a very convincing seizure.
Major Trouble Kelp's mouth dropped open and he lowered the gun he'd trained on Artemis Fowl Senior. He started to lean through the hole in the wall but a wave of nausea forced him back out. He couldn't enter the mud men's dwelling unless they invited him or called for help, and neither of them did that. The two adults knelt down next to the boy who was shaking and foaming at the mouth. They poked at the ailing mud boy for a few seconds, then Butler picked him up and all three left the room.
According to information he'd been able to get out of Mulch before Butler's arrival, the mud boy had been up to his elbows in demon slime. Somehow he had gotten it off of Holly and saved her life. Now he was flopping around like a fish out of water. It didn't take a genius to figure out the events were related. He wondered why Butler didn't call for help though.
"He's faking it," Mulch said, answering the unasked question as he crawled out from beneath the cam foil.
Trouble didn't ask for more details. The important thing was to get Holly back to the Warlocks. Now that the slime had been removed they should be able to patch her up. Trouble didn't often find himself wanting to hug Dwarfs. The smell alone was enough to turn an elf's stomach, but in this instance he though he might almost be willing to make an exception.
When Mulch had knocked down Captain Twig and stolen his wings and Holly, Trouble had been torn. Commander Sool had ordered him to bring Mulch and the body back. Trouble had growled that Holly wasn't dead yet. The Commander didn't seem concerned. He just repeated the order and asked Trouble if he wanted to be a private on traffic duty again.
He knew from the moment Mulch took off where he was heading. It wouldn't have been difficult to cut him off, but Trouble didn't have the heart. Mulch seemed sure the mud boy could do something that the People couldn't. Trouble did not believe it, but Mulch's certainty gave him hope. He and his brother, Corporal Grub Kelp, had taken the long way around to the Manor and in those few extra minutes Fowl had pulled it off.
Mulch dragged Holly over to the window, and was lifting her up toward the hole and Major Trouble's out-stretched arms when his helmet com buzzed. Foaly's voice rang in his ears.
"Don't bring Holly back!"
"What?" Trouble asked.
"Don't bring Holly back to Tara! Sool- I'm going to strangle that gnome! I-"
"What is it?" Trouble demanded.
"Sool's ordered that Holly and anyone who's had contact with her be placed in quarantine."
"So?" Trouble asked, "That isn't such a bad idea. Where is it going to be? The Tara terminal is the most likely-"
"He wants it set up at Howlers' Peak," Foaly said. "The counsel just gave Sool emergency authority, since the people haven't had any sort of military besides the Lower Elements Police since the Demons were banished. Haven is almost totally in lockdown."
"When did all this happen?" Trouble demanded. "I left less then half an hour ago."
"The word demon moves very fast. Sool is on his way back from the counsel right now. I've got cameras in the counsel chamber if you want to see how it went down…oh wait…incoming transmission from Sool. I'm supposed to hook him up to your helmet cam."
"Give me thirty seconds," Trouble said, as he lifted his visor.
Mulch was watching him, Holly still in his arms. "What's up?"
"Sool just got emergency authority in Haven. Foaly doesn't think it's a good idea to bring her back."
"What?" Mulch asked. "Where is she going to go? Are the Warlocks going to come here?"
"No," Trouble said. "Put her arm out the window. Grub, get over here."
Haven, Sool's Private ShuttleCommander Sool tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited for that incompetent centaur to patch him through to the surface. He knew Foaly was stalling of course. He probably didn't want to admit Short was dead. He was just opening a tin of herring, imported from the surface, when the light on his com screen blinked. He hid the tin out of the camera's view and answered.
"Report Kelp!" Sool ordered.
The screen split in half and two elves began talking at once. Sool tried to control his blood pressure. He'd forgotten there were two Kelps on this particular assignment.
"Major Kelp report!" he clarified.
One of the elves looked slightly put out, and his face disappeared from the screen.
"Sir we are unable to retrieve civilian Holly Short at this time," Major Kelp said.
"Why? Is she dead yet?" Sool asked.
He could hear Kelp's teeth grinding through the microphone in his helmet. "No sir. Civilian Short is alive and improving rapidly. Artemis Fowl was able to remove the demon venom."
Now Sool was grinding his teeth. Of course the Mud boy was now involved in this.
"Then why can't you bring her back?"
"Fowl ordered Holly not to move until he found Butler, who was apparently sent to get bandages. We have not been invited in, and so cannot enter the residence."
"What about the Dwarf? Have you arrested him for the theft of those wings yet?"
"No sir. And with all due respect, sir I see no reason to. Mr. Diggums took those wings in order to acquire medical attention for civilian Short. He has since returned them, undamaged."
"I don't care! I want them both in Howler's Peak by dawn. If you come back to Haven without them you'll be on traffic duty for the rest of your life. Is that understood?"
"Affirmative," Major Kelp said. "But Mr. Diggums is currently in a mud man's dwelling…"
"Then order him to come out!" Sool shouted.
"Come out!" Major Kelp ordered.
Sool heard the dwarf's reply. "Uh…no."
"He won't come out," Kelp relayed needlessly.
"Report back to Tara and get your retrieval team together. I want those fugitives in custody."
"Sir, shouldn't we be hunting the Demons?"
"You will go where you're ordered or you'll be an inmate at Howler's. If you're not at Tara in ten minutes I'm sending the retrieval team after you!"
"Affirmative."
The com link cut out. Sool growled. He reached for his tin of herring just as the shuttle hit turbulence. The pungent fish splattered all over the inside of the cab.
"Why do bad things always happen to me?" he wondered allowed.
The universe chose not to respond.
Fowl Manor, The InfirmaryArtemis Fowl the 2nd considered himself ready for any sort of challenge. He was a superb actor and well versed in all aspects of human physiology, and knowledge of both were required in his current situation. His father had apparently gone down to the party and asked if there was a doctor in the house. Unfortunately for Artemis there were sixteen of them. The Fowls associated with a well educated crowd.
At that moment Artemis was doing all he could to convince a Neurologist that he had had a seizure. This didn't require much besides slurred speech, constricted pupils, and a very strange EEG read out. Of course he was only physically capable of the first of these, still he thought he had the doctor convinced. His father was another story. He could see his shadow at bottom of the door, pacing. He hoped Butler would be able to remove all evidence of the People's visit without his help. The Neurologist, Aaron Bechlam recaptured Artemis' attention.
"Son," he started in a very patronizing manner. "It's very important that you tell me what you've injected yourself with. It could take hours for the blood tests to come back and you could get worse before then."
"I…did not…I want to sleep…" Artemis said.
"Was it morphine? Some sort of opiate?" the doctor asked.
Artemis was tempted to tell him that he was in fact pretending to have an epileptic seizure and that opiates would result in completely different side effects, but he kept his mouth shut and only shook his head. Artemis saw his father's shadow move away from the door. He didn't know if he should be relieved or not.
"I want…sleep…" he told the doctor.
Bechlam nodded and walked out. Artemis could hear him speaking to his mother. She sounded nearly hysterical and when the doctor dropped the word "drugs" she moved entirely into that stage. Artemis sighed. It would be impossible to tell them about the People now. When one was suspected of drug use was probably the worst time to tell people one was seeing elves. His mother was eventually escorted away. Artemis had been in the Infirmary nearly an hour when Butler arrived.
"Have they gone?" Artemis asked.
"They weren't in the study. I'm not certain if they've left the grounds," the bodyguard reported.
"Have the security videos been altered?"
"Yes sir."
"And what did you remove?" asked a cold voice from the doorway.
Neither Artemis nor Butler had heard it open, but Artemis' father was now standing behind them, and he was not in the least amused.
"What did you remove from the security tapes?" Mr. Fowl repeated.
Butler looked at Artemis.
"I'm not asking him," Mr. Fowl said stepping between his son and Butler. "I am asking you."
"I can't say sir," Butler replied.
"You can. You were contracted by me to protect my son, not to be a henchman in whatever hair-brained scheme he's pulling. He is 15. You are the adult. What did you remove from the security tapes?"
Butler's impassive expression did not change. "I can't say sir."
Mr. Fowl looked between his son and the bodyguard.
"You're fired Butler."