Chapter 2

The next month was exhausting. I tried so hard to balance my work and my home life better but I was falling behind with my paper work and Tess and I seemed to be running out of things to talk about. One night I texted Tess to say that I had to work late and I would be home about ten, we had an obbo and it would be wrapped up by then, hopefully earlier. I was in the car outside, Sam and Neil were inside, I was glad Phil wasn't in there with her but I wasn't going to admit why I didn't want them pretending to be a couple, that would be too dangerous. It was only an hour later that we had the crims banged up and we were heading out the door. "You want a ride home Jo?" Sam asked me and I felt my breath stop in my throat. I shouldn't do this, I really shouldn't. Once I got in the car it would be just Sam and me, and I was with Tessa. Plus if anything happened Sam would probably slap me and she would be even bitchier to me at work than she is now. That might seem impossible but I'm sure she could manage it. All these thoughts rushed through my head but I still found myself saying, "Yeah, thanks" I was mentally kicking myself in the head all the way to the car, I could have caught a cab. I got in and Sam started the engine. She glanced at me as we pulled out of the yard and I saw something in her eyes that I couldn't place, it made shivers run up and down my spine and I was too preoccupied trying to keep the images out of my mind that for a moment I didn't realise that Sam had spoken. "Huh?" I asked a blush rising in my cheeks.

"I asked if you were cold, you shivered" Sam repeated. I must have sat there staring at her with my mouth open because the corner of her mouth flicked up and eyes glittered for a moment upping my blood pressure before she turned on the heating. I relaxed on the seat and let Sam steer her car through the streets towards my house. A thought occurred to me and I sat up straight looking around. Sam seemed to be heading in the right direction. "Where are we going?" Sam asked slowing down at an intersection.

"Take a right," I muttered. For a moment I had thought she knew where she was going, how would she know where I lived? I continued directing her to my house and soon we pulled up outside. I turned to her to say thankyou and I couldn't help but swallow my words. Sam was sitting up against the drivers door, turned towards me, there was a smile on her face that seemed to light it up. The streetlight that shone through the window bounced off her hair giving her an ethereal glow. The raindrops on the window were shining in rainbow colours making her look more like…a goddess than ever. She sat up properly so she wasn't leaning on the door but she was still facing me. Sam moved towards me and I froze, my heart began to thump and the blood rushed to my head. She leant her elbow on the console and looked through my window up at my house, "Looks like someone's home" she murmured, tilting her head to look back up at me. I didn't hear her words but I remembered them later, at that moment all I could think about was what it would feel like if I kissed her. I don't know what made me do it but something came over me and I moved forward, swiftly pushing my lips up against hers. She was shocked for a moment but a second later her hand snaked around my neck and pulled me closer pressing harder against me. She tasted like scotch with a hint of cigarette smoke, probably from the club, and mint and I couldn't get enough. My tongue pushing through her lips and I felt her tongue enter my mouth. My heart went wild and my breath started coming in short sharp gasps.She moaned in delight and my brain seemed to catch up with me. I couldn't believe I was doing this, I had never cheated on anyone in my life. I pulled away and I almost moved back when I saw the heartbroken look Sam gave me. But it was there for less that a split second before she masked it over, again with the poker face.

"I'm sorry Sam –Tess" I stammered feeling like the lowest scum of the earth.

She nodded sharply, "Ok, well here's your house" she said her voice neutral though I picked up undertones of hurt. That made me feel worse. I nodded dumbly and fumbled for my door handle. Wrenching it open I stumbled out on to the footpath and without a second glance I hurried up to my front door pulling out my keys. I yanked it open and slammed it shut taking a moment to collect my breath before I headed down the hall to my bedroom. I opened the door and my heart nearly stopped. Delighted squeals were coming from the bed as the covers moved. "What the hell?" someone shouted and it was a moment before I realised it was me. Tessa sat up in bed and blanched, "Jo, you said you wouldn't be home till ten, it's only nine o'clock"

I was stunned silent for a moment, was that all she had to say?

No sorry, no please forgive me just, you didn't say you were going to be early. "I turned around to the walk in cupboard and grabbed a hold-all off the top shelf. I threw some of my clothes into it, "I want you out of my house by the time I get back from my shift tomorrow. Five-thirty in case you've forgotten. I wont be early I promise. If you're not out by then I will arrest you" I told her calmly, it was definitely not what I felt inside, inside I was dead. I headed out the door and out onto the street. I stumbled along until I got to the high street where I hailed a cab and I got a ride to a B and B not far from the station. I didn't want to get up any earlier than I had to. I fixed myself a cup of tea and after I finished it I changed out of my clothes and curled up in the cold bed. Thankfully I didn't have any strange dreams, but that was probably due to the fact that I didn't get any sleep so maybe not so thankfully. The next morning I dragged myself out of bed and stumbled to the shower. Turned the hot faucet on full and waited till the bathroom was entirely steamed up before pulling off my shirt and trakkies and turned on the cold tap a bit. I let the steaming jet pound into my back, trying to loosen up my muscles but it wasn't working. So I ripped open the complimentary packets of shampoo and conditioner. After my shower I fixed a cup of coffee and I headed out the door. I walked to the station and got there just before eight I dumped my bag under my desk and started on my pile of paperwork. I had fallen behind for the month and if I wasn't careful the DI was going to have me doing paper work all shift. That wouldn't be fun and I needed some action to get my mind off Tessa. I still couldn't believe she had done this to me, I guess that I thought she would at least have the decency to break up with me first.

I was staring off into space when Sam walked through the door, then suddenly the previous night's kiss came rushing back into my mind. God I had forgotten about it until now, what had happened with Tess had driven it completely out of my mind. I couldn't help reliving the sensation of Sam's warm lips on mine, my heart skipped a beat and I remembered my dream from a month ago. What had the old lady said? You knew Tess wouldn't stick around, you should have told Sam how you felt. Did I subconsciously know this was going to happen? But I had totally screwed it up with Sam now, I had pushed her away, and I didn't even know if it was just a spur of the moment thing or if she actually felt something for me. She didn't look too happy this morning and I wondered if I looked as bad as she did. I would consider it an achievement if I did, I certainly felt worse. She dumped her bag down at her desk and disappeared off in the direction of the bathroom. A few minutes later she came back in looked amazing as usual. I turned back to my mountain of paperwork, though I had managed to reduce it to a hill. Albeit a large hill.

Lunch time rolled around just as I finished all my paperwork, I sighed in relief and headed down to the canteen to get something to eat, though I wasn't really hungry I knew I needed to keep my energy levels up. I walked through the door and joined the end of the line, my eyes automatically wondering around the room. They settled on Sam who was sitting next the Phil Hunter, she was laughed and he was smiling. No, smirking, that was definitely a smirk. I clenched my jaw and I noticed that Sam noticed. She smiled coldly and moved her hand over to cover Phil's. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could read their lips.

"What are you doing tonight?" Sam asked, smiling flirtatiously.

"I heard there was some do at the Canley Arms, you going?"

"Course, I meant after that" Sam murmured, her eyes were most certainly doing that glittering thing.

"Depends" Phil grinned.

"On what?" Sam asked

"On whether I get any good offers," Phil replied. I gagged.

Sam smirked, "Well, we'll see if you do wont we?" Sam smiled and she got up, heading for the door. I abandoned the thought of lunch as I wasn't hungry and I followed her. "Sarge" I called so she wouldn't ignore me. She slowed down, as though debating about whether or not to blow me off then she stopped and whipped around, her eyes smouldering as she glared at me. I could feel the hurt radiating off her and it was almost tangible.

"Can we talk?" I asked

"What about DC Masters?" she asked and I flinched.

"Last night" I murmured. Her eyes flashed and she pushed me into a briefing room. She glared at the PC who was doing some typing in there and he scuttled off. Wow I wish I could do that, she's so sexy when she's mad. God I can't believe I just thought that. Sam slammed the door and locked it, "What about it?" she snapped at me. "You going to remind me that it meant nothing because you're with Tessa?" she spat the name with hate. "Well let me remind you that, you kissed me!" she looked me up and down and threw the last knife, "And you look like you spent more time worrying about it than I did, it was just a kiss, nothing more. It meant nothing!" she drew herself up and I felt my shoulders slump. I nodded and she glared at me and stalked out. I sat myself down on one of the benches and leaned up against the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest and I buried my head in my knees. I was so tired and everything was going wrong. First Tessa and now Sam, she was even flirting with Phil because of how much I had hurt her. Then it dawned on me, she must like me if she was that hurt, I would have to try and talk to her, some how I had got it in my head that if I told her how I felt she wouldn't throw it back in my face. Come to think of it she probably would. I felt the first tear slide down my cheek and soon they were coming thick and fast.