Guys, guess what? I wrote the beginning of this chapter the TRADITIONAL way! I'm not allowed on the computer after 10 pm, so I started the chapter in my notebook… :P Never done that much!
This chapter is dedicated to Kharina, because without her this chapter would not be here! Hope you enjoy your character's appearance. :)
Also, to Victim Of His Own Design. Your review made my day. I walked around with a huge smile on my face the whole day! I'm glad you like the fic so much, and I hope you'll keep reading (have you read the prequel? Scroll down my fic list, it's not hard to find. :P) Also, that's a VERY good question. But of course, I have an answer to it. Since this A/N is already too long as it is, I'll tryto remember toanswer your question in the next one, ok? Remind me!
"Visser Three's Journal"
Chapter 7
The Family Reunion of Ultimate Doom!
Dear Journal,
This morning I was abruptly FORCED out of bed by not Ellie – surprisingly enough – but Visser One. Who let her into my room this early in the first place is beyond me, but whoever did can be certain to die a very slow and painful death. Sounds harsh, I know, but so is the way Visser One mercilessly wakes a peacefully sleeping Visser such as myself up at – I looked at the alarm on my nightstand – six-thirty in the morning!
" Rise and shine, soldier!" Visser One screamed, stripping me brutally of and heartlessly of my bed sheets. " It's time to begin Operation Lesser!"
( How about Operation Kill Edriss?… ) I grumbled, snatching at my covers.
" I don't think so, dapsen!" Visser One scowled. She grabbed the sheets from my hands and tore them clear off the bed. As the humans would say, "JESUS!"
( Visser One! ) I shrieked. ( Calm your hormones! It's ONLY the lesser! )
" Easy for you to say," Visser One spat. " You're his twin brother, he won't have you as Thanksgiving Dinner!"
( … Thanksgiving?… )
" Never mind!" she shrieked icily. " Thing is, he'll eat me, and if he stays longer than three days I'll starve before coming out of this host!"
I rolled my eyes. In that case, I was starting to HOPE the lesser would stay longer than three days!
( Stay away from him then! ) I snapped coldly. ( It'll do BOTH of us a favor. Besides, he said he'd never eat you, remember? )
Obviously, Visser One had not been listening at the time.
" He talks about me?" she said, sounding repulsed.
If only she knew… I squirmed at the thought.
( Yeah, all the time, ) I rolled my eyes. ( He seems to have a YOU fetish… Most of the time it's really quite vulgar. )
I almost threw up right then and there, and I probably WOULD have if I hadn't been so busy smirking like a retard at Visser One's deeply disturbed expression. In normal time, I wouldn't have TOLD a terrified Yeerk that my cannibal twin brother has some not-so-innocent fantasies about them – especially when he was coming here in less than two hours… But it's Visser One. And I, as her worst enemy, never pass up an occasion to scare her to the pant-wetting point.
I looked at the time again. Six-forty. Oh lords.
( Visser One, why the hell did you wake me up so freaking early? ) I exclaimed, snuggling back down into my wide array of pillows. ( He only gets here at eight! And he knows where the Empire building is obviously, you retard! We don't have to go get him at the hangar. )
Visser One sat on the bed, her legs evidently tired. She looked at me quizzically.
( WHAT? ) I shrieked at her silent staring.
" Why did you say 'we'?" she asked. " You said WE didn't have to go get him at the hangar."
( I meant I, ) I said evenly.
" But you said we."
( Okay, shut your face! )
" Visser Three…"
( Visser One, go back to bed… ) I spat exhaustedly, rolling over – or you know, the Andalite equivalent of rolling over.
Well, that was a stupid decision. Not only did Visser One not go back to bed, but she jumped on MY bed and proceeded to CRUSHING – I mean sitting on my hindquarters.
( Visser One! ) I shrieked. ( GET OFF, I can't breathe! )
" Uh, yeah," she nodded. " That was basically my plan there, loser."
She then let her whole weight onto my flank. LORDS, for such a perfect size that dapsen weighs a damn TON!
" Die, you dapsen!" she yelled, pressing down.
( GET OFF ME YOU FREAK! ) I yelled, slowly turning violet. I grabbed her arm in an effort to get her off, but she resisted and practically drove her nails into my blue-furred upper back.
" Tell your crazy twin brother not to come five feet near me!" she spat mercilessly.
( And what if I don't? ) I shot back.
She lifted herself up and crashed her body back down onto my flank. OUCH.
( Okay, okay, okay! ) I exclaimed. ( Lords! You don't have to go all bloody-murder on me! I'll tell him to stay far away from you. )
I tried my best to sound honest, so she would get her grubby self off me! But when she didn't budge, I got really angry and stood up. Yes, right there on the bed. Once I was up I jumped, throwing Visser One clear off the bed. She hit her head against the wall and groaned.
" Ow…" she complained weakly, lifting up a hand to tap the back of her head. I winced. There was a smear of blood on my wall.
( Get out of here! ) I said, turning away. ( Go back to your own room! If you stay here, then I'll tell the lesser to eat you! )
Her eyes blazed daggers at me as she stood up and stumbled out of my room. It was only seven o'clock. Sighing, I settled back down onto my bed, but found it practically impossible to fall asleep again with an entire hour to spare.
Stupid Visser One, I thought to myself bitterly.
---
With eight o'clock finally just around the corner, I decided to get up. I made my bed quickly, since Ellie was in her room getting ready for the company – why did I have to get a GIRLY Yeerk for an intern, huh? Better off getting one who does my housework too, so I am not reduced to becoming the maid which is Iniss!
Fuming, I walked out of my room and into the kitchen. No sooner had I grabbed a light bowl from the counter and started to boil some water for my morning dose of oatmeal, than the doorbell started to ring.
ANNOYINGLY.
REPEATEDLY.
GAH!
- Bzzt, bzzt, bzzt, bzzt, bzzt --
( I'm COMING already! ) I could not help a rather high-pitched screech. ( Don't shit your freaking pants! )
I stomped over to the door and pressed the open button as if there was an Andalite bandit in insect morph on it. Which, if there were, I would actually pity the poor slave.
The door slid open. Outside, in the hallway, stood the source of this morning's rib-crushing by Visser One: Esplin the lesser, in his tall, moderately handsome, dark-haired, billionaire human host, Joe Bob Fenestre.
" 'Shit my freaking pants' is the one thing I wasn't planning on doing today," my twin brother said quite sardonically. He smirked as he added, " … Although meeting a great beauty in the hallway wasn't exactly in my plannings either."
I winced. Oh no, VISSER ONE! … Gah, there go my ribs. And quite possibly the rest of my body as well.
Well, teaches her for walking OUTSIDE in the HALLWAY at eight o'clock! Stupid git.
I had to make a huge effort not to smack my forehead. ( You didn't… ) I winced. ( … Touch her or anything, did you? )
" Why, of course not," the lesser said, seeming mildly shocked. " Why would I do such a thing?"
( Well, you do fantasize about it… let's see, ALL THE TIME? Would that be an exaggeration? ) I said sarcastically.
He laughed pleasantly. " I only dream of my dear Edriss Five-Six-Two, you know that…"
( Uhh… did I miss something? ) I asked, my eyes wide.
" I am not sure. Please precise?"
( You said you crossed a "great beauty" in the hallway. You don't mean Visser One? )
The lesser's eyes lit up. " Visser One is HERE?"
This time I really DID smack my forehead.
( Oh lords… ) I muttered privately to no one. Wow, am I ever a screw-up… Sometimes I surprise even myself! … Out loud to my brother, I continued: ( So… if not Visser One, who is this great beauty? )
The lesser looked out into the hallway and beamed.
" Here she comes, here she comes!" he whispered urgently.
I waited a moment before a pretty human female with light brown, almost blond hair and a light complexion walked past my door with a quick glance my way. I guess she found it quite funny that both the lesser and I were staring her way, because she reeled back and stopped at my doorway.
" Hi, Visser Three," she said in a mildly familiar tone and moderately familiar attitude. She seemed kind of uneasy, too. Don't ask me why.
( You must be Anati, ) I said instantly. ( I remember having met you before, but I think you had another host. )
Anati grinned. " So how did you know it was me?"
( Why, your attitude of course! ) I grinned back. ( … I know your sister too well. )
We both laughed. So did the lesser, who had absolutely no connection to all this. But since the lesser has a slight obsession – to put it awfully mildly – with the female-hosted Yeerk, he quite gladly joined in. Turning to Anati, he grabbed her hand and kissed it like the humans do.
I almost hurled.
" Good morning Anati," he said in one of those tones. " My name is Esplin. And I am much better than my twin brother."
Wow, thanks lesser.
Anati laughed, apparently amused, and smiled at the lesser. Then she looked back down the hallway and frowned.
" WHERE are they?" she demanded, apparently to herself. She then added in a bitter undertone, " Efflit probably killed them all…"
( Efflit? ) I asked.
" Yeah. Some guy. The cafeteria security was after him again, so he decided to jump in with us."
( Oh. ) Somehow, the name "Efflit" rang a persistent bell in my mind… but since I was far too lazy to try and figure out what it meant to me, I let it go.
Just then, another Yeerk in a blond-haired, female human host, accompanied by two males and one Hork-Bajir (oh god), came walking down the hallway. The female waved to Anati and smiled. So did two of the males. The other one just kind of lingered back.
" Aftran!" Anati yelled. " There you are! What took you so long?"
" Efflit saw a vending machine," Aftran replied simply.
" Shut up, fool," the guy in the back said not-too-loudly.
" Now don't be rude!" said the other male, whose human host was averagely tall, with reddish-brown hair and laughing brown eyes.
The guy in the back, whom I presumed was Efflit, scowled under his breath, his eyes murderous.
The Hork-Bajir ran up in front of the others to join Anati. He was frowning as well as a Hork-Bajir can. " Anati, that guy is weird."
" Is that all you ever say anymore, Orifix?" Anati exclaimed lowly as the others arrived and joined in. " For the Emperor's sake… Anyway, we'd better be off. Have to visit my sister."
" Finally, someone who agrees with me that Visser Three is a complete and total idiot."
" Efflit!" Anati snapped, jabbing him in the side with her elbow.
" OW!"
I ignored Efflit. ( Well, if "off" is an appropriate term for going just next door, then very well… ) I pointed to Visser One's chamber door, which was roughly about three feet from our present location. ( There's her room. )
Anati laughed. " Wow. It must be annoying for you two to have to put up with your worst enemy as your next-door neighbor."
( More than you could ever imagine, ) I rolled my eyes.
Anati smiled. " Well, Visser Three, we'll see you later."
She walked off, followed by her freaking POSSE: Aftran, Efflit, Orifix… and that other random guy. When they entered Visser One's room, the lesser and I retreated back into mine. He sat down comfortably on a chair, putting his feet up on a small table.
I didn't say a word.
" So, my dear brother…" he said. " What have you been doing lately?"
( What do you mean, what have I been doing? ) I asked distractedly, rummaging through a cupboard for a nice pack of oatmeal.
" MILITARY-WISE, you freak!"
( Oh. Well, I've been filling out forms. )
" That's it?"
( And I've been running Visser One's stupid organisation The Sharing. ) I smirked, for I had said this loudly and publicly.
Soon enough, there was a loud bang on the far wall, followed by Visser One's hateful, protesting voice. " SHUT UP, Visser Three, The Sharing is not a stupid organization! It is a brilliant human recruitment procedure, you fool!"
" Yes, and perhaps it would not be so stupid if you weren't running it…" Efflit added, just loud enough so I could hear it from this side of the wall.
" Efflit…!" both Anati and Aftran exclaimed at once.
" WHAT?" Efflit snapped, sounding very pissed.
( Last time I checked, I am the one with the tail blade. ) I told Efflit icily. ( So unless you'd like your head cut off, I suggest you stop being a fool and cease insulting me at once! )
" 'Cease', brother?" the lesser chimed in.
( Shut it, lesser! )
" That's prime to you, fool!"
( Last time I checked I was the prime, you idiot. )
" Not for long!" the lesser declared victoriously.
( … Right. ) I said, backing away slowly.
Why did I get stuck with the crazy, Yeerk-eating twin brother? Why ME? … Why not Visser One?
( Esplin… why do you have to eat Yeerks? )
He smiled widely. " Speaking of which, what's for dinner?"
Eww. ( You know what? I think I've lost my appetite. Possibly for a very long time. )
But I went into the kitchen just the same, and made him some soup, which he literally devoured gratefully. Geez, it almost reminded me of Visser One!
Oh great. A twin brother who not only eats Yeerks, but who reminds me of my worst enemy. Even now, at four o'clock in the afternoon, as I write in my journal, he's still here – taking a snooze in the guestroom actually.
And even though the day so far has passed smoothly enough, I have a feeling that this is going to be an… "interesting"… family reunion still to come. And not only for me, but for Visser One as well, who has company of her own over in her room.
I wonder how Visser One is faring right about now…
Woops, gotta go Journal! The lesser just woke up and is demanding where I am… I cannot let him find out I have you, oh no!
Until my return,
Esplin 9466.
P.S. – I will continue this recital of our family reunion the first chance I get. If I even get one.
Oh dear lord, as Pharrells Girl said! Did you seriously think I was going to put this family reunion all in one part? Hehe! Nope, welcome to the first two-parter of Visser Three's Journal. You'll see much more of the lesser, Anati, Efflit, Aftran, THE GUY YET TO BE NAMED (lol Kharina), and Orifix next time! Hope to update soon, but in the meantime see you all later!