Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except your love. (jk)

Hey this was bigger hit than I thought :) 4 positive reviews as opposed to the one awful flame I was expecting. Guess I'm not as out of practice as I thought, so I made another chapter. R+R greatly appreciated!

Ch 2- The Dreaded Teddy Bear Steve

The next day, it rained even harder. Basch and Balthier, in the local bar, met with the Viera who put up the mark for the rank 5 Vyraal. "I thought you were going to help me slay the Vyraal yesterday! Why were you not at our rendezvous when I got there?"

"It's very complicated," Basch began to explain. "See, we were about to leave when we, uh…"

"We were attacked," Balthier blurted out.

"By a monkey."

"A green one."

"With fangs."

"And a gun."

"And a low fat chili dog!"

Balthier turned to Basch. "Why don't you just go along and play in traffic?"

Basch sourly stuck his tongue out at Balthier. "The joke's on you, there's no such thing as a car."

The Viera shook her head in disappointment. "Humes just can't be trusted."

"Yeah, well, you smell like dirty underwear," quipped a spiteful Balthier.

"Look," snapped the Viera. "In three days, at noon, meet me at the Steppe. This is your final warning. If you're not there, I'll just have to take my business to Teddy Bear Steve."

Balthier gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Who's that?" Basch inquired.

"Teddy Bear Steve, the meanest pirate this side of the Salikawood, is only my greatest rival!"

"I thought your greatest rival was that bounty hunter Seeq, Ba'gamnan?"

"Yeah but I forgot his name and didn't feel like going online to find it so I made up a new person, then inadvertently came across it but was still intent on having an OC named Teddy Bear Steve so I kept him in! Hey, did someone just talk through me? No matter. The point is, we'll be there, you can count on that." They got up and left.

Outside, they walked across the plaza in the heavy rain towards Reddas' house. On the way there, they passed Fran and Ashe, holding a large green umbrella over their heads.

"Where are you guys going?" asked Balthier.

"We're going to the movies," Ashe answered. "We are going to see Grindhouse, would you like to come?"

"Why, I'd be delighted. Uh…" Balthier searched his pockets. "Can you spot a pirate some gil?"

"We only have enough for two tickets," said Fran, her lisp so strong that it was evident even though there were no S's in her sentence.

"No matter, Basch owes me 30 gil, don't you?" He turned to his older companion.

"Uh… you see, about that, I… look! The Basch signal!" Again he produced an auspicious black cape and disappeared.

"Hmm… I'll have to take a rain check." He suppressed a smile.

Ashe stared, drooling for several seconds before suddenly bursting into laughter. "Aha, rain check because it's raining! I get it! Ha ha ha hah ha… you are enlightening, Balthier. Quite a card." They walked away.

"What a dork," Balthier muttered. So, by himself, he walked back to Reddas' house.

A/N: Now I forgot what the inside of Reddas' house looks like, and that douche at the gate won't let me in, so just bare with me folks, as I BS my way through the rest of this chapter…

Once inside the "living room", Balthier found the group lying around lethargically. Reddas and Vaan sat on the "couch", watching the "TV", while Penelo and Larsa played billiards at the "pool table", two hi-potions resting on the edge.

"Where did Larsa come from?" Balthier asked. Reddas, slouched on the couch, without looking at Balthier, simply pointed to the ceiling, where there was a gaping hole, under which a large bucket was placed to catch the rain.

"It's a long story," said Larsa. "And this chapter is already getting pretty long, so I'll just tell you later. Hi-potion?" He pulled a small purple bottle from his pocket.

"Don't mind if I do," said Balthier, catching the hi-potion. "Hey, where do you get all these things anyway?"

Larsa's eyes shifted left and right. "I know a guy…"

Balthier nodded. "Anyway. Anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Nothing at all," Penelo answered. "Just a boring day. Nothing exciting. No action, no high-speed chases. Boring, boring, boring, uneventful boring. Nothing to do but hustle Larsa and finish this pointless ramble uninterrup-"

Suddenly, there was a crash as a figure burst through the wall. Reddas turned around. "Now honestly, what is with people barging into my house like this?"

Vaan turned around, gasping. "Cid!"

Sure enough, it was Dr. Cid, suspended in the air by two propellers attached to a sack on his back. "Yes, it is I, Dr. Cid! I have come to steal all your Nethicite! Yes, yes, quite." He spoke so fast that this whole introduction was about 2.2 seconds long.

"Hey, I thought we got rid of you at the Pharos!"

"No, no, why of course not, I can never be killed! Only beat up in an inhumane and slightly comical manner. Now die!" As he finished his sentenced, a swarm of robots that looked just like Cid entered through the walls and ceiling.

Psst, no one acknowledge the gaping plot hole I just opened by stating this is after they went to the Pharos, just go with it…