SUMMERY - Did you know that Phoenixes can take human form? My father did.
DISCLAIMER - I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated trademarks. Nor do I get paid for my writings.
CHAPTER WARNINGS - None
About half the chapter is not my writing, but Rowling's, I do not claim these passages in any way, but it was necessary that I use them to integrate Phoenix into the story. One of her comments here is very important. hint,hint :)
Thanks to all those who reviewed and my apologies on not putting up responses. I'll do that now.
ILOVEmattandHARRY - You have been my most faithful reviewer so far. Thanks a bunch. Draco would actually work out better with a Gryffindor than a Slytherin in my opinion; the other members of his house are too much like him for it to work.
hp-fanfic-reviewer - Thanks for the vote of confidence.
lemonwedges4 - Glad you like it
Chapter 3 - Temper, Temper
Phoenix raised an eyebrow.
"And how many students have you given that line? You'd make an excellent actress."
Trelawny's eyes narrowed. "Class dismissed."
Harry and Ron caught up with Phoenix in the hall. She was silent, with a look on her face that hinted at resignation. But when she looked up, they could see pain in her eyes.
"Don't worry about it, Trelawny's just a big fake. When Harry first started divination, she prophesied multiple times that he was going to die. The more gloom and doom the better in her opinion."
When they entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk. She was wearing the fluffy pink cardigan of the night before and a black velvet bow on top of her head. Harry was again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad. It was obvious Phoenix thought of the same thing, because she made a sound like a frog's croak under her breath. The boys did their best not to laugh, and even Hermione didn't look disapproving at the comparison.
The class was quiet as it entered the room; Professor Umbridge was as yet an unknown quantity and nobody knew yet how strict a disciplinarian she was likely to be.
"Well, good afternoon!" she said when finally the whole class had sat down.
A few people mumbled, "Good afternoon," in reply.
"Tut, tut," said Professor Umbridge. "THAT won't do, now, will it?" I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge.' One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"
"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they chanted back at her. Well, all except Phoenix; who, it appeared, had a rebellious streak a mile wide. She rolled her eyes.
"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."
Many of the class exchanged gloomy looks; the order "wands away" had never yet been followed by a lesson they found interesting. Phoenix looked slightly confused, and leaned over to Harry as he shoved his wand back inside his bag and pulled out quill, ink, and parchment.
"How do you have a Defense Against the Dark Arts class without a wand?"
Harry shrugged and both turned quickly to face the front.
Professor Umbridge opened her handbag, extracted her own wand, which was an unusually short one, and tapped the blackboard sharply with it; words appeared on the board at once.
Defense Against the Dark Arts
A return to basic principles
"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?"stated Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any ministry approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your owl year.
"You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now being rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-aproved, course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."
She rapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished and was replaced by:
Course aims:
1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can be legally used.
3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.
For a couple of minutes the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When everyone had copied down Professor Umbridge's three course aims she said, "Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class.
"I think we'll try that again," said Professor Umbridge. "When I ask you a question I should like you to reply 'Yes, Professor Umbridge', or 'No, Professor Umbridge.' So, has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?"
"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room.
"Good," said Professor Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read chapter one, 'Basics for Beginners.' There will be no need to talk."
Professor Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher's desk, observing them all with those pouchy toad's eyes. Phoenix turned to page five of Defensive Magical Theory and began to read.
Within five seconds she was nearly ready to throw the book, just to see what Professor Umbridge's reaction would be. It certainly wouldn't be good, but it had to be more interesting than sitting there staring at some boring old man's description of basic defensive theory. She would have too, if she hadn't noticed Hermione's hand in the air.
'This ought to be interesting,' Phoenix thought. 'The old toad is trying to ignore her, probably thinks to out-wait her. But somehow, I don't think Granger is the giving in type.'
It seemed she was right, for more and more of the class looked u from their books to focus on Hermione. When more than half the class was watching, Umbridge seemed to decide she could ignore the situation no longer.
"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked Hermione as though she had only just noticed her.
"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione.
"Well we're reading just now," said Umbridge, showing her small, pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."
"I've got a query about your course aims." said Hermione
Professor Umbridge raised her eyebrows.
"And your name is -?"
"Hermione Granger."
"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read then through carefully," said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness.
"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing up there about using defensive spells."
There was a short silence in which many members of the class turned their heads to frown at the three course aims still written on the blackboard.
"Using defensive spells?" Professor Umbridge repeated with a little laugh. "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"
"We're not going to use magic?" Ron ejaculated loudly.
"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr. -?"
"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air.
Professor Umbridge, smiling still more widely, turned her back on him. Phoenix, Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands too. Professor Umbridge's pouchy eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before she addressed Phoenix.
"Yes, Miss -?"
"Zyphera. And don't you think it's a little childish to ignore people?"
"Ten points from Gryfinndor for cheek."
Phoenix shrugged and Umbridge turned to address Hermione.
"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted something else?"
"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"
"Are you a ministry-trained expert, Miss Granger?" asked Professor Umbridge in her falsely sweet voice.
"No, but-"
"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the 'whole point' of any class is. Wizards much older and wiser than you have devised our new program of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk free way-"
"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked it's not going to be in a-"
"Hand, Mr. Potter," sang Professor Umbridge.
Harry thrust his fist in the air. Professor Umbridge promptly turned away from him again, but now several other people had their hands up too.
Phoenix, completely ignoring the rule said again, "You really are being childish, you know. One doesn't usually expect to find teachers going around with their fingers in their ears like five-"
"Twenty points from Gryffindor. And your name is?" Professor Umbridge addressed the second sentence to Dean.
"Dean Thomas."
"Well, Mr. Thomas?"
"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free -"
"I repeat," said Professor Umbridge, smiling in a very irritating way at Dean, "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"
"No, but-"
Professor Umbridge talked over him.
"I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school, " she said, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth; Phoenix muttered, "Yes you do," too quietly for her to hear; "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."
"There's nothing wrong with half-breeds! And if you'd shut your fat mouth and stop acting like a five-year-old long enough to listen to these people you'd know that."
The entire class turned to stare at Phoenix. Her golden eyes flashed fire, and she'd stood up so fast her chair had fallen over. If Harry hadn't known better he would've sworn the the loose wisps of her hair had turned to flames.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor, and a detention for you, Miss Zyphera. You will be in my office tonight at five o' clock."
Phoenix sat down, fuming, and Dean Thomas broke in angrily.
"If by 'half-breeds' you mean Professor Lupin, he was the best we ever-"
"Hand, Mr. Thomas! As I was saying-"
"At the risk of seeming redundant," Phoenix, who obviously felt that since she was five feet deep she might as well go the whole six, interrupted, "You really are-"
"Miss Zyphera! You have lost your house eighty points to date, I will make the number one hundred, and you will not speak for the remainder of this class if you wish to have a free evening this week. As it is, you will go stand in the hall with Filtch until the end of this class.
Phoenix, her golden head high, smiled at Umbridge. It was not a smile Harry found nice, even Draco Malfoy didn't smile like that. But he knew the reason for such a look. Because despite the lost points and detention, Phoenix had Umbridge's composure. She'd won, and she knew it.
A/N I typed my fingers to the bone. REVIEW; or I will send Phoenix after you. Also, did anyone pick up my hint in the author's note up top?