A/N: BEFORE-LAST CHAPTER!!! Oh my God:D

Dedicated to Pharrell's Girl.

Visser Three's Journal

Chapter 23
Grace and Devastation

July 26th

Dear Journal,

I was dreaming of a large room, a waiting room of some sort. The walls were black all over. I remember looking around and seeing Ellie, my intern, as if all of a sudden. She was sitting on a bench, a white bench, contrasting deeply with the darkness of the walls. She pushed away her red hair from her forehead, then saw me and smiled.

" Like, hello Visser!" she said in a typical, yet somehow faraway voice.

( Hi Ellie, ) Dream-Me replied.

Suddenly, Iniss appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a colorful thinking cap and quite abruptly had buck teeth. He was crying. Bawling.

( What's wrong, Iniss? ) I asked.

" I can't find any water!" he sobbed.

( Water? ) I asked increduously.

" Yeah, I need water to fill up my bottle!" he exclaimed. Only then did I notice a transparent red, empty bottle in his right hand. The bottle was cracked to no end, seemed about to shatter.

Haha, don't worry. It's not going to last very long anyway.

Huh? What was… Oh, wait a minute. That was Visser One's voice. Where was she? … I spun around in all directions, but didn't see her anywhere. The voice sounded far away, as if coming from another room...

You're such an idiot…

( Yeah, I know. ) I muttered, my voice filled with undiluted hatred.

Ellie and Iniss both looked surprised.

" Who are you talking to, Visser Three?" Ellie asked, for once without her usual "like".

I pointed to the wall, utterly confused. ( Visser One. Didn't you hear her? )

" Visser One?" Ellie repeated, as if lost.

It's not going to last very long…

" Visser!" Iniss pulled on my fur and repeated, " I need some water to fill up my bottle!"

I looked at him and saw Ellie, from the corner of my eye, eyeing me strangely. Her eyes glimmered red…

My eyes shot open.

( Oh, not again… ) I growled. The dream had been coming back a lot lately. I looked at my alarm clock: Seven fifty.

I told Councilor Four about my dream once, had I told you about that? Well, assuming I haven't yet, a couple weeks ago I went over to visit him… I told him about the dream, and the first thing he asked me was:

" Did someone you know die or something?"

( Uh… not that I know of, ) I'd answered. ( Why the hell would it matter? It's a freaking dream. )

" Well… Visser One says that dreams can be symbolic in the human culture. She explained it to me and it kind of makes sense. She gave me a whole document on dream interpretation once."

( Yes, it's one of Alloran's interests as well, ) I snarled. ( Please tell me you don't believe that crap! )

" It makes SENSE, Visser Three. Our subconscious CAN play tricks on us."

( Yeah, well, how the hell does my dream meant someone died if NO ONE DIED, huh? )

" I don't know… The color scheme in your dream is what's intriguing," Councilor Four said. " Black symbolizes mourning, and white can symbolize death as well. The contrast of colors in your dream means you're confused."

( Confused about what, Dear Miss Fortuneteller? ) I snorted.

" Okay, well you know what? If you want to be like that…"

And it just went on. Councilor Four said something about Ellie's red eyes at one point… I jumped up at that, asking what it meant. But Councilor Four didn't know – he simply agreed that it was creepy.

Whatever. Dreams meaning anything or not, I hope someday the stupid dream will make SENSE at last so that I can stop waking up at seven o'clock in the morning!

Then, of course, there was Visser One. I told her about the dream a short while ago after a huge fight that had ended… unexpectedly. Yeah, Alloran would like to make a very inappropriate comment now, but I will not let him.

I told her about the dream, and to tell you the truth she was a lot more freaked out by the simple fact that SHE was in MY dream. She said she was cursed now, and quite frankly I had to agree. But the real cursed person here was me, of course. Me and my freaky dreams in which Iniss suddenly develops bucked teeth.

" And Councilor Four thinks that it means someone close to me has died," I whispered nonchalently.

" Yeah well… don't listen to everything Councilor Four tells you."

" You don't know SHIT about Councilor Four. He's often right."

" Still," Visser One shrugged. " Has anyone close to you died? I didn't think so, since you have NO friends."

" Perhaps one of my siblings died…" I said.

" Hopefully the lesser," we both said at once.

" Whatever…" I said. " It's not like I care or anything. It's just a fricking dream, for Akdor's sake."

" Riiight…"

" Shut up, you!"

Yeeah… You probably don't want to know what that led to. Again. Alloran didn't want to know either, but unfortunately for him, he had no choice.

These are the only two I've told about my dream so far. I would tell Iniss, but he'd probably get all "What are bucked teeth?" on me. I would tell Ellie, but I think she'd have nightmares of her own.

Hmm… I was thinking too much, and had a lot on my mind. What I needed was to cool down. To de-stress.

My solution? HAVE AN ARGUMENT WITH VISSER ONE!

Oh, now you're contradicting yourself… I thought.

But still I went. I hated her waaaay too much to stay away.

---

When I got to Visser One's room, I found something I didn't expect.

First of all, allow me to share this with you, Journal: For a while, Visser One and I have been talking about becoming spawn mates. Nobody would know except for us and our third party (whom Visser One wishes to be Councilor Two, the idea of which makes me shudder like an Andalite on redin). This idea especially appeals to me because of our relationship… I mean, let's face it – we both want to kill each other, why not do it SIMULTANEOUSLY? And what better way than reproduction?

We've been talking about this for a couple of weeks. I don't know when and how I'm actually going to ask her to be my spawn mate. She already knows, but the idea of actually being her mate kind of grosses me out… and makes me unbelievably nervous at the same time. I'm not the type of guy to have mates, Journal. I'll probably never even ask her, even though no one else would know and our ceremony would be extremely private…

I would know. I would know.

Maybe I'll just wait till I'm three hundred and ninety-nine years old…

Journal, don't you EVER let slip any of this stuff to Visser One or ANYONE else. It's CONFIDENTIAL!

Anyway, back to the point.

I got to Visser One's room and found the door left ajar. At first, I thought it was strange, but then again maybe she'd heard me coming.

I pushed open the door. I heard voices, even from outside. As soon as I stepped passed the threshold, I noticed Visser One. She saw me, too, and her face immediately went red from anger…

" YOU!" she screamed. " What the HELL are you doing here?"

( Heh, ) I chuckled. ( Teaches you not to lock your door, dapsen. )

" Visser Three, GET OUT!" she yelled, stepping toward me.

( Hey, watch your tone with me! ) I snapped.

" YEAH RIGHT! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!" Visser One screamed.

I was getting angry. No one freaking talked to me like that.

I stepped forward and smacked her in the face. She fell onto the floor, clutching her jaw. And she SHRIEKED.

No kidding, she just started SCREAMING and SCREAMING.

" GET OUT!"

( Visser One, did you take your pill this morning?! ) I exclaimed, backing away.

" GET THE FRIG OUT OF MY ROOM!" Visser One practically shrieked.

( Visser One, take your damn pill! ) I yelled.

" I WANT YOU TO GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!"

" Like, Visser, what's going on?" Ellie asked shrilly, alarmed. I turned around and saw her poke her head through the doorway, eyes wide.

Visser One burst into tears. She fell dramatically onto the floor and started sobbing like a three-year-old human who didn't get enough caramel on her sundae.

T.E. came running (about time), holding a telecom and shouting into it.

" What are you talking about? What could possibly take so long?" the Taxxon shouted into the receiver. " Yeah, shipping my ass, just get her medication over here, now! What do you mean, TWO HOURS? If you don't have her meds here within twenty minutes, I'll see to it that she fires you!"

Yeah, GO Mr. Taxxon! Hanging up, T.E. looked at Ellie and me.

" Hello, Visser Three," he greeted me glumly, looking down as his poor mistress, wailing and wailing and wailing on the soft carpet.

( Oh, don't make such a big deal out of this, would you? ) I said, looking scornfully at Visser One. ( She's probably just pissed off because you didn't give her her flakie this morning. )

" But I DID!" T.E. panicked. " What should I do? I'm calling Councilor Two!"

( Are you now? ) I asked sarcastically.

But T.E. was already talking. " Hello? Councilor Two? … Yeah, this is T.E. Could you come over here and give me a hand? … Well, see, that's the problem. Visser One ran out of medication and… yes. Okay, thank you Councilor."

( Let me guess. He's on his way to save his beloved damsel in distress… ) I rolled my eyes. Visser One was such a clichéd case of FREAKING DEVIL IN DISGUISE OF INNOCENT FEMALE.

There's a reason everything bad happens to Visser One, people. It's not because she's "so gorgeous and famous and powerful that it's a freakin' CURSE", it's because she's just CURSED. In general. This pathetic creature SUCKS AT LIFE.

Okay, now that I'm done ranting…

Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the door. By this time, I had settled down into a corner of the room, watching the scene gleefully. Ellie was attempting to help T.E. calm Visser One down. They succeeded, and now Visser One just looked sick: staring into space, her eyes puffy and red, laying motionless on the carpet.

Having nothing else to do, I was the one who opened the door and let Councilor Two inside.

The odd excuse for a Yeerk immediately entered the room and kneeled down next to Visser One. He popped a pill into her mouth but she couldn't swallow it.

" Come on Edriss!" Councilor Two said. He shoved the pill into her throat and washed it down with water. Almost immediately, Visser One coughed and choked, but the pill was making its way through her system.

Councilor Two picked her up and carried her to her room. I heard his footsteps, and T.E.'s, following him. I followed them at a distance, too curious for my own good. T.E. and the Councilor retreated into a second room, and I listened in…

" What were you thinking?" Councilor Two raged. " For the Emperor's sake, I know you're smarter than that! She could have died, T.E.! It's a good thing I had that emergency pill…"

" I… I thought she had an extra bottle…" said a very guilt-ridden T.E.

" Her hormones don't produce all on their own, T.E.… Had she fallen out of that host… Her condition is very dangerous, and it's up to you to double-check…"

But I was no longer listening.

Councilor Two didn't know what he was talking about. Visser One had a hormonal imbalance… meaning that there were hormones to unbalance.

" Her hormones don't produce all on their own…" What the hell did that mean?

" Without the supplements, she can't stick to her host's brain. She can't even eat properly. One week without those pills, T.E., and she would have been dead."

This wasn't real. Councilor Two must have been exaggerating, there was no way…

… And suddenly, it dawned on me. The too-thin slime coat. The pills she had always taken, which she said were for migraines. Her sister Anati's overexcessive Yeerk hormones.

I thought of the broken red bottle. The one Iniss always held in my dream.

Oh, lords.

I heard silence… then the sound of the doorknob turning.

All of a sudden, Councilor Two was standing there. I could have killed him. I felt betrayed by this person who called me his friend…

He looked at me. " Visser Three? What's going on? Are you…"

( Visser One is sterile? )

Long silence. Councilor Two seemed not to know what to say. He blushed a little and seemed embarrassed, like he wanted to disappear through some hole in the ground. Well, guess what Councilor? This is not a fictional piece. You won't get gulped up by a stray plothole, so you're just going to have to face me.

" I… thought you knew," Councilor Two mumbled.

I looked away.

( Whatever, the pills fix it right? ) I asked indifferently.

" The pills control her skin and digestive hormones, but they don't fix her reproduction hormones. There still is no medication for that."

There was a short pause as we looked at each other.

( Well, it serves her right for being such a bitch… ) I said bitterly, but my heart wasn't in it.

" Visser Three…"

( What?! ) I exclaimed, looking straight at him.

" I'm sorry, I thought you…"

( Yeah, I'll bet you're sorry. ) I said. ( Why would you be sorry? )

" Because I know how…"

( You know what? ) I yelled, on my last nerve. ( I don't need a psychologist, alright? So why don't you just SHUT UP? )

I walked away before he could arrest me for insubordination.

Visser One sterile… Visser One sterile… The thought ran and ran through my head. It seemed impossible. Not likely. Not Visser One… Not my Visser One, who nothing could ever touch…

I know her too well to believe this bullshit. Her mates would have left her long ago…

… Gah, why does it bother me so much? Why must I keep thinking of this?

It just seemed that everyone knew already… EXCEPT FOR ME.

And I know everything about her. Everything. Why did I ignore something so important and so crucial for so long? Of course, Visser One was probably always ashamed and didn't want her worst enemy of all people to know… but still, don't I usually manage to find things out for myself and laugh at her miseries in the comfort of my own room?

It bothered me, it really did. I hated the fact that it bothered me, but it did. It DID.

How could she have chatted so casually about it? About being spawn mates when SHE KNEW she couldn't?

How? How could she do this to me, that DAPSEN? Was it all just an elaborate plan to PISS ME OFF?

As I went to bed, Journal, I can tell you that I just wanted to kill someone. Not cry… I don't cry. But I can tell you that I've never, ever, ever hated Visser One quite so much. Ever.

I haven't spoken to her in five days.

Until my return,

Esplin 9466.