A/N: I do not own Sailor Moon. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and made me feel special. ::hugs!:: BTW, since this is going to be the shortest chapter (to me anyways) by far, I might as well tackle some frequent questions that you guys asked me.
The number 1 question everyone wants to know is 'What happened to Serena in Japan?' Well, I wrote this chapter especially for those curious readers but don't expect a full explanation here. If anything, you'll catch a glimpse of what happened to Serena but I'm not gonna spoil it all (after all, I'm evil!)
Another question that I've gotten referred to how the characters acted in my story versus how they acted in the anime/manga. So far, I've tried to put the characters like the audience saw them as. This is hard since everyone has a lot of different views on each character (ex: some think Rei's a bitch, others think she really cares for her friends but doesn't show it openly, etc). But I've tried to put as much of their original character as possible (Makoto's love of cooking, Ami's swimming and intellectual capacities, Haruka's fast-driving tendency, Serena's love for food, Seiya's musical attributes at the club [which I will go into soon], and etc)
One more minor question I've got more than once referred to Serena's somewhat sudden personality changes. For one thing, keep in mind that when she does become aggressive, it's when she's being threatened. (Refer to the last lines in Rose chapter)
Meus Amor et Mea Culpa: My Love and My Mistake
And Death Smiled
She turned and twisted fitfully in her dreamless slumber. Beads of sweat rolled down her exposed skin and her beautiful face contorted to a grimace as she slept. Her eyes suddenly snapped open, maroon eyes colliding with the same darkness that greeted her in her sleep. Breathing raggedly, she sat up, bringing her blanket-covered legs to her chest as she wiped aside some strands of midnight hair that had pressed against her face, attached by the sweat that had accumulated throughout the night. What time was it?
A quick glance outside her wide window to the outside world told her it was dawn soon, the sky being lit up back a dark blue tone that resembled the same color when dark clouds covered a town before there was a storm. She pressed a hand to her chest, feeling her rapid heart beat underneath the sheer night gown. She shook her head, though what she was thinking at the time was as enigmatic as she was. She looked upon the sleeping figure that rested by her and a content expression touched her elegant features. She leaned over and placed a kiss on the other's forehead and, smiling slightly, she got out of the bed, revealing a short night gown that came up mid-thigh with spaghetti straps and an imperial waistline.
She ran a brush through her long, straight, black hair before shrugging on a robe. As she walked about her three-bedroom, two and half bathroom apartment, she made her way to her living room. Only partly conscious of what she was doing, she went over to a bookcase she had stacked with designer magazines, baby books, and various other collections. However, her slim hand seemed to be thinking on its own and reached out for a certain book on the higher shelves so that she stood on her tip-toes before acquiring was she had been aiming for. She looked over at it for a while, taking in the hard-leather cover and golden clasp before she turned and went walking on again. A few seconds later found her in her drawing room, various pictures and designs splattered here and there. Without putting down the book she held in her hand, she cleared away a space for what she was about to do. She pulled up her seat and opened the clasp and pulled on the cover.
About half of the book's 'pages' lifted up, revealing a square-shaped compartment in the book. The woman reached in and pulled out the scarlet bag that was contained in the compartment space. She opened that and pulled out the items inside and then placed the red bag back in the 'book', closed it, and then pushed it aside. She looked down at the items in her hand. A stack of cards lay in her palm and she took a deep breath. It had been a while since she did this.
A few minutes of clearing her mind, she was reading to begin.
She shuffled the deck a couple of times, imagining each time she finished shuffling and pushing the cards in an orderly fashion as if she was organizing her thoughts. She closed her eyes as she did this. She pictured her older sister, smiling at her, laughing with that catlike grin on her face and then the somber yet beautiful blonde young woman with the saddest cerulean eyes she had ever seen. She opened her own eyes slowly, slowing her breathing to a relaxed pace.
Holding onto her thoughts unwaveringly, she began to draw out the cards, placing them in a pyramid fashion: Four cards at the bottom, three on top of those, two on those, and then one solitary card at the top. She placed the rest of the cards back into the bag, not taking her gaze off the layout before her.
And then she began.
"What has been..." She murmured, referring to the first four cards before her with a slight frown. She knew they weren't going to be pretty.
She flipped over the first one and couldn't help but give out a wistful smile.
"Coppe." She breathed. "The Ace of Chalices."
It was simple card. It was more of a fountain than a chalice if anything. Emotional waters ran from the openings of the chalice, the symbolism of love in the field of cartomacy. And as the Ace of Chalices, the card before her represented the start of a love.
She continued to smile. Yes, that was true, indeed. As her palm moved over to the next card in line, her brow furrowed somewhat. She had a feeling that, after such a happy card, something not so pleasant would be revealed. As she turned over the next card, the woman mentally wished that she hadn't guessed right.
The card was pretty self-explanatory. It was of a man, covered in black medieval clothing. Black bat wings sprouted from his back and they were flared upwards, showing that the figure in the card was just landing. He held an evil-looking three pronged pitchfork in his right hand and some white feathers danced in the scene, pensive remnants of the elegant wings the figure had renounced for the boiling lava pits at the bottom of the card. There was no mistaking this card.
"Il Diavolo. The Devil." The woman gazed at the card for a few seconds. This was one of the more amusing cards to her. This devil had dark hair, a couple of tresses whipped up into two makeshift horns right at his forehead. His eyes, however, we closed. The woman had often wondered what emotions she would find swirling in the man's eyes. Regret? Arrogance? Satisfaction? She continued on her train of thought for a few more seconds and continued on her reading. This card was upside down and she closed her eyes, searching for its meaning. At once, she recalled the translation. "Imbalance and a rapid shift of emotions." She recited dutifully. "A time of confusion and evil actions."
With people like them, it's to be expected. She thought venomously. She shook her head sadly at the thought that crossed her mind and then turned to the next card.
"Re di Coppe." She murmured, turning over the card. "The King of Chalices."
On it was a man, sitting on a golden throne, holding out one, single elaborate chalice to the spectator. His clothes were richly of course, with a long cape draped over one shoulder as he gazed back with an enigmatic expression on his hard eyes. The image was supposed to represent stability in all aspects, as the King held possession over the single chalice, a symbol of the ever-changing, ever-shifting element of love and water. However, this card was upside down. And so, as the woman recalled, it represented discord between whom she thought of in her mind and a rather powerful man.
She ran her fingers over her lips thoughtfully and tapped the upside down card with her other hand. After a moment's passing, she moved on the other card and took in a sharp breath.
"Spade. Or more specifically, Eight of Swords."
Once more, it was a pretty simple card with a rather brutal meaning behind it. It was just eight swords, crossing each other downwards. This, too, was upside down. The woman sighed sadly.
"Eight of Swords." She repeated. "Betrayal."
The woman looked on at the four revealed cards before her, not bothering to look at the other six cards above them for a while.
Yes. She thought. It had been an incredibly rough time. How they had gotten through it still amazed her.
She now focused her attention on the three unturned cards above the four she had just exposed.
"What is now..."
At the very first card, she couldn't help but frown.
"Regina de Spade." She said, leaning back on her chair. "The Queen of Swords."
This was a feministic card in her point of view. On it was a fair-haired woman, a diamond-embedded tiara nestled on her hair, representing her royal standard. However, she was clad in a knight's armor, the silver of the suit gleaming almost as brightly as the determined smile on her lips. She held a sword in her right hand that she kept slanting to her left upper corner, away from those facing her, yet using the blade as somewhat of a barrier between her and anyone else. She was a ruler of her own domain, having no need for anyone to watch over her as she was capable of handling trouble without much assistance. Yet, her eyes held loneliness that contradicted with the smile on her face which explained why she was interpreted as a difficult character. She also represented a time of sadness and separation, as was symbolized when the figure on the card kept her distance from anyone trying to get close to her.
"Il Sole." The woman continued, turning over the next card. "The Sun."
An adorable male cherub was shown on the card. The heavenly being was standing a top a cloud that hovered over grassy lands, holding up a face from which bright orange-red spikes of light show out of. The Sun represented clarity and rationality, as was interpreted by the sun figure the young cherub held up, that chased away dark shadows of doubt and evil. Thankfully, this card was right side up and represented emotions of happiness, harmony, and friendship.
The woman doing the reading smiled a little bit. The girl was still wary of getting close to anyone as was shown with the Queen of Swords. However, the Sun card showed that she was getting along fine, finding happiness where she was.
As she turned over the next card, she raised an eyebrow at it.
"La Forza. Strength."
On the card was a little girl, looking about eight or ten, barefoot and wearing peasant clothing. Her tiny hands forced open the jaws of a raging lion before her with clear show of no effort. This card did not represent physical force but more of an intellectual strength that allows one to overcome obstacles before them. This particular obstacle that was represented in this card was one of evil.
Looks like she has her own evils to dispel of. But this card was right side up, showing that the child was doing just fine with this evil figure, being able to fend it off without any support.
The woman sat back, admiring the Present of the child. She was still wary of the past but was seemingly able to move on and she had become stronger as was visible from what she could decipher with the Strength card. The woman nodded, smiling. She was glad to see she was doing okay for now. Her eyes then trailed up to the two cards about the three ones she had just turned over.
What is to come. She fidgeted slightly. She wasn't all too comfortable at all with reading those cards. She often felt it would be just jinxing herself by doing it. However, temptation and pure curiosity lead her fingers to one of the cards up there. She gasped.
"Gliamanti." She breathed, claret eyes widening in horror. "The Lovers."
On the card was a boy and a girl, both looking around ten years of age, holding on to each other's hand. Despite their ages, however, they wore clothes twice their size as they stood underneath a cloud upon which Cupid, wings fanned out, eyes blinded by a cloth, held out his darts of love, ready to strike. The young figures on the card represented a promise of a love, as was depicted by their oversized wedding garbs that they would grow into over the time period of their sworn love. Unfortunately, this card was upside down.
"An unrequited love." Her breathing had gone ragged as she recited its meaning. She hurriedly turned over the card by it.
"Cavaliere di Bastoni." Her fears were confirmed. "The Knight of Wands."
A tall young man, probably in his twenties or late teens sat on a regal horse that was rearing up. As a court character, he was dressed in armor with a long cape attached at the shoulders. He had dark hair and held a long wand in his right hand while the other hand gripped the reigns of the horse. It was a rather contradictory card. The horse that was rearing represented youthful freedom, the ferocity of the juvenile creativity. However, the young man riding on top of the horse, gripping the reigns in his had, showed repression of such immature notions of the adolescence.
"An unexpected departure on the part of a dark-haired man." She muttered, eyes glazed over and she gulped down a lump in her throat. "He comes."
For a moment, she sat where she was, entranced by the revelations that were brought to her. Finally, she gazed upon the last, single card that the past, present, and future all led up to. With slightly shaking hands, she picked up the card, lifted it off her table and...
"Mom?" Startled, Setsuna Tomoe dropped the card abruptly and turned to the doorway of her drawing room. Her twelve year old daughter stood in the doorway, still wearing her purple pajamas, rubbing her eyes awake. The woman gave a smile at her daughter and motioned for the girl to come to her.
"What's wrong Hotaru?" Her daughter walked into the room slowly. Once she came upon the woman, she knelt down on the floor, placing her head on her mother's lap. The woman began stroking her ebony hair, a trait she inherited from her mother.
"I had a dream." The girl began. "A dream about daddy."
The woman temporarily stopped stroking her daughter's hair for a second and then resumed.
"What was it about?" She asked softly.
"I dreamt he was here." The girl said just above a whisper. "I dreamt that I would wake up every morning, get dressed for school and come bounding down the stairs. You'd be making breakfast at the stove. He'd have his arms wrapped around your waist and you'd kiss each other good morning."
The woman chuckled lightly at the thought, although she had dying inside at the idea. Hotaru went on.
"Then he'd notice that I was there." She felt her daughter smile against her lap. "He'd swing his arms out wide and swoop me up like when I was three." She turned her head towards her mother, bright purple gazing into dark maroon. "You remember, don't you?"
Setsuna smiled widely, cupping her daughter's face. "Of course I do. I'd yell at him to put you down since I was scared he'd drop you or something."
They shared a quick laugh over that before a comforting silence fell upon them. Her daughter voiced what they had both been thinking at that point.
"I miss him, mom." She said, her voice thick as she looked at her mother, bright eyes filling with tears. "I really miss him."
Setsuna nodded, fighting back tears of her own. She could not be weak for her daughter, not now. "I miss him too baby." She said pulling up her daughter for a hug. "I miss him too."
For a while, they sat there, mother and daughter; one mourning the loss of a father, the other mourning the loss of a partner, friend, husband, and lover. A sudden wail pierced the moment and they pulled away. Setsuna smiled down at her daughter, absentmindedly pushing aside dark strands from Hotaru's face.
"It's my turn." She said, rising. "I'll take care of it."
Hotaru nodded, smiling just the same and let her mother go through. She stood up and watched as the woman exited the room and went off to the source of the cry. She hugged herself and looked about, aimlessly wondering what her mother was doing here.
Her eyes found the drawing table that was cleared of all clutter except for ten cards; all turned upwards save for the card she saw her mother drop when she had startled her mother with her appearance. She quirked an eyebrow and sat in the chair, drawing herself by the cards. She knew her mother had these cards but it had been a good while since she had brought them out from their hiding place. Setsuna had begun to teach her daughter how to interpret these cards a long time ago. When her father had died, she stopped and Hotaru didn't say anything. In fact, the young teen continued to learn the ways of interpretation on her own quite well.
She looked at the nine upturned cards thoughtfully.
Hmm...I wonder what she was doing. Her eyes shifted over to the card her mother dropped when she came into the room. From what she could remember from the layout before her, this one card was the result out of the past, present, and future events. She frowned as she looked at it.
La Morte. Death.
A pure skeleton of a body faced the watcher. In his left hand he held a bow, in his right, an arrow. The skeleton had brought the two together, not poised to shot, but as if patiently waiting for its target. However, the Death card hardly ever meant a mass massacre and the picture actually portrayed somewhat of a silent assassin. In fact, the Death card was meant to interpret a more of a warning to the querent than the wide-believed actual action of murder. If anything, it was constant reminder that humans are mortals and vulnerable to the rapid changes of life and death and that no one was an exception.
Now, there were actually two very conflicting attributes to this card's interpretation. On one hand, when right side up, the card represented a time of radical transformation and unexpected changes, closely followed by the end of an long, strenuous ordeal. However, when upside down, the card was meant to depict the very essence of Evil and even physical death or emotional losses on one or multiple parties.
Unfortunately, Hotaru had no idea which way the card was to be placed since she had interrupted the reading and so the card could've faced up or down.
She glared at the card as she set it down. The smirking face of the Death's skeleton continued to smile, as if knowing which way he was to face, and selfishly not telling the young teen. She was called out of her trance by a call from her mother and she left the drawing room, calling out a reply.
On the drawing table, the lifeless skeleton of Death continued to grin.
~*chickay*~
::grins:: That was fun. While cleaning out some things in my room (because my sister is a neat freak) I fell upon one of my two Tarot decks which inspired this beautifully created chapter which gives you some insight of what's been and what's to come. The cards I mentioned were real cards by the way though I think I twisted some of the meanings a bit to make it fit into the story. But don't expect everything to follow the guideline that I've just leaked out now. This is me, after all.
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