My toenails and fingernails are painted lime green. I'm wearing an orange hat and Ottis Redding's 'Under the Boardwalk' is playing on the old record player I bought in a small music shop. I'm running my hands all over the walls, doors and windows of my brand new studio apartment.

There are two rooms. One is my kitchen/living room/bedroom and the second is a tiny bathroom. My small twin bed is placed in the far corner. I'm happy. My windows (there's two) over look the city and beyond that the ocean.

My home lives right across the street from 'Lola's' I walk to work every day. Life is how it should be for the moment. I haven't talked to Jackson much, but I'm going to forget about it. Miley and I are starting over; tonight we are going out to dinner. All is well. And I'm happy.

I put my hair up. I look in the mirror and decide it looks stupid and then pull it back down. Up? Down? Red dress? Blue dress? Decisions, decisions! I decide on a green dress, it's sleeveless and has flowery designs on the hem. I look alright I suppose. The restaurant is crowed when we arrive.

Miley and I are seated at a table near a window. She looks so grown up and mother like in her modest red dress. I want to laugh, but I don't.

"So how's the apartment?"

"It's good." I reply.

Blah! I hate small talk, I tell Miley that. "This is stupid Miley. Come on you don't need to walk on egg shells around me anymore."

Miley blushes and plays with her wedding ring before really looking at me. "I know… so when are you going to teach Katie to skateboard? Because I'd rather just let her have at it then whining all the time." Miley smiled, finally relaxing.

I laugh out loud and I've never felt better. "I don't know, maybe next week when I get time off. I thought it was just a phased but if she's really serious about it let her stop by at my place and we'll go to a park."

She nods and I nod with her.

The evening plays out we talk about work, music, and life. But after a while Miley begins to fidget in her seat. I don't know why, I thought we'd been having a great time.

"What's up?" I ask her while taking a small sip of my cocktail.

"I… well I was going to show you this a while ago… but time got away from me and well Lily I was just so scared about talking with you…" Miley says before digging into her purse.

I stop her. "Why were you scared?"

"Because, I felt that if you and I sat down and actually talked about what happened I wouldn't be able to function. I had to be strong for my family and… and I neglected you Lily. I ignored your feelings."

I shake my head. "You did what you could. In the end Miles it was up to me to get back on the horse, to start over."

Miley quickly takes a white folded piece of paper out of her purse. Her unfolds it and hands it to me.

"I- I wrote you a song."

I hold the paper in my hands it's dated back months ago and it's written in frantic sloppy handwriting. I look to Miley and then back at the paper. She wrote me a song.

"You wrote me a song?" My voice is so soft that I can barely hear it.

"Yes… if you hate it I won't use it but-"

"No! I want it, I love it." I say cutting her off and smiling as I feel tears run down my cheeks.

And suddenly I don't care that we're in a public place or that we are two grown women. I hop out of my seat and hug Miley fiercely across the table. It's the first real hug we've had in what seems like forever. She pulls me to her and we laugh and cry as people stare at us.

"It's good to have you back." She whispers.

"It's good to be back."

Once we paid for the food Miley and I decide on taking a walk. Our heels click the sidewalk. A car drives by and I hear a couple laugh from an open window.

"So what's up with you and Jackson?"

I'm a little surprised by her question. I didn't think Jackson would tell her about our mini fight. I'm surprised but not upset, I'm happy I don't have to explain it.

"I uh I'm not sure." I answer kicking a rock.

"He really misses you. He won't come out and say it but I just know. Whatever happened? All I know is that you moved away and suddenly he stopped answering my calls."

I sigh. I'm going to have to be the one to tell her. This sucks.

"We kind of got into a fight." I watch Miley's eyes get huge and she opens to mouth to say something. I stop her by holding up my hand.

"It's not a big deal… well ok maybe or shit I don't know. All I know it that he wouldn't take my hand…" I look at my hands. "Their not ugly hands are they? I mean I don't understand! One minute he wants me around and the next it's like 'Well see ya Lily!'… It's just I got so use to seeing him in the morning you know? I got use to the crossword puzzles and sport sections… I guess…. I guess I…"

"Miss him." Miley finishes for me with a smile.

"Yeah." I whisper my breath forming clouds in the early winter night. I pull my red coat closer to me.

"Wow…" Miley laughs sitting down on a bench. "Who would have thought you would be falling for my goofy big brother."

"Hey, hey I never said I liked him I only hinted that I missed him and…." I pause as a rush of realization hits me hard in the gut. "I like him."

I sit down with a thud and giggle. I like Jackson Stewart. "I, Lily Truscott, like Jackson Stewart." Talk about weird as hell.

Miley takes my hand and looks very serious for a moment. "I'm happy for you Lily. I think it's great that your loving again…but just don't rush into anything."

I smile and shake my head. "Believe me Miley; I would never rush into anything. Not after… well everything that's happened… I loved Oliver with my whole heart. I loved him so much and yes sometimes it still hurts, late in the night it hurts. But, I don't think he would want me to be unhappy. I believe that just like I believe we were very happy together. I'm ready to let it all go. I'll never forget him, no not ever but I'm going to put him deep inside of me and then I'll be free. Free from all the pain that has been choking me. And now… now I can just live."

I finish my monolog and Miley is crying. I didn't mean to make her cry but she's smiling so it must be good, right?

"I'm so proud of you Lily. You've come so far. Thank-you." She whispers.

"For what?"

"For helping me, helping me come out of the dark."

We sit together for a long time. We close our eyes and listen to the city stir. The night air feels so good. I never want this to end. If only, if only Oliver was sitting next to us. Then we would be the Three Musketeers again. But somewhere in the back of my mind I can't help but think that he is here. If we remember him and love him then he will never be truly dead. And I believe this, with my whole being.

My apartment is dim when I get home. The sun is slowly peaking it's way out of the darkness and into my two windows. I throw my purse on the kitchen table and I stand alone for a minute. I laugh and run a finger through my hair. I put a record on and listen to Marc Cohn's voice flout, nice and easy, around the room. I hum along to 'Man of the World' with him.

I tap my foot and spin slowly. 'Round and 'round I go. My dress glides with me and my hair twirls in my face. I dance with no partner. It feels good, but I find myself thinking of Jackson. He, as he laughs at something I said long ago. Jackson dancing a funny dance just to make me smile when I was crying over a silly boy who stud me up. It's funny but I can't pin point when it was I fell in love with him.

It came so softly. So quietly.

Someone is knocking on my door.

"It's open!"

The door creaks open and Jackson stands before me, still in the doorway. He's looking at me shyly. I smile and wave him over. Jackson takes little baby steps to me then stops. His hands are deep in his pockets.

"Come closer." I say softly.

He shakes his head.

"Please." I beg a smile still playing at my lips.

He slides my way and stares. "Lily I… I just wanted to say that I feel a little stupid."

"You definitely know how to flatter me."

He laughs and I like the sound of it.

"I also want to say that I should have never let you move away."

I shrug. "I think I needed it. You were right I needed to get back out on my own feet again."

Jackson chews on the insides of his cheeks before responding. "I wanted you to find another place because… because I was having feelings towards you that weren't very brotherly. And I knew that if you stayed I would do something that would wreak everything."

"Like what?" I tease.

"Like kiss you." He blushes.

I feel every once past thought of being bitter and cold hearted drift far from me. My eyes are open and my heart is ready. My lips curl up into a genuine smile. I close the distance between us by embracing him.

Jackson puts his face on my neck. I can feel his chin and the very tip of him nose touch my cool skin. He's holding me close and I give in. I nuzzle and kiss his cheek. I feel a smile form on his lips and he kisses my neck.

It feels good to have someone's lips all for my own. I turn to him and kiss him fully and tenderly. He responds slowly. Jackson tastes so sweet and his hair is nice and thick. As we pull away he chuckles and I feel his hot breath on my face and shiver.

I turn and look to the windows again. The sun is up and its sleepy rays are spreading a thick orange glow around us. I feel warm and safe. The lights are not on but there is plenty of sunlight to make up for it. My arms are wrapped lazily around Jackson and his are the same around mine.

"In darkness we no longer stay." I say slowly… And for the first time all is good and well. I have faced death and now I'm ready for life. I'm ready for daylight…

I want to be a man of the world
Blood in my veins and a hurt in my heart
Hide in the street with the noise and the dirt
And the one still looking for a brand new start
Oh I've been sleeping far too long
Hiding out in a palace of gold
Show me one thing before I'm gone
It can't be bought it can't be sold
Show me how to come alive
Show me how to make you mine
Cause if you'd only be my girl
I could be a man of the world
I could be a man of the world…

Marc Cohn 'Man of the World.'

End

…..

Ok, I'm somewhat happy with the story. I still don't see what you guys say you see in my writings (I've always been told I wasn't good enough.) I'm perfectly fine with the ending. But, if you guys would like I have an idea for an epilog. If any of you are interested please say so and I'll write it up. Leave your thoughts. I appreciate everyone's input. Thank-you for being faithful readers. Have a lovely day…

Lazy Days