One thing that is VERY IMPORTANT to remember for this chapter is something said about Sora earlier. Chapter two I think. Because I'm betting you haven't read any of this story in AGES, I'll rewrite that important line here:

(Concerning Mimi's pregnancy) "… Mimi had trusted her with everything. She had told Sora first. Before even telling her parents."

Reminiscing and Recriminating

Matt flopped onto his bed, kicking his good shoes off onto the thick carpeting. Sora was still in the shower. He could hear the water splashing and the faint sound of her painfully tuneless singing. He assumed she'd already looked in on Ben. While he usually did the good dad thing and double-checked, tonight he couldn't bring himself to even move. He couldn't get his mind off one thing.

He was the father. The father of Mimi's child. And he'd abandoned her.

How did everything manage to get itself so screwed up?

He remembered so clearly the day he'd found out that Mimi was pregnant. Of course, he hadn't believed it initially. But he couldn't forget. He'd just driven TK to his date with Kari and was at the mall, looking for a new guitar to add to his collection. There were two he'd really liked, one metallic blue and one silver. Unable to chose between them, and figuring he shouldn't make a decision on an empty stomach, he was heading for the Food Court when he'd run into Sora. She'd looked distracted and was chewing her lower lip slightly. He'd thought she'd needed some coffee, assuming this state of worry was due to some argument with Tai, and had invited her to join him.

Smiling a little, she'd accepted.

They had sat and drank coffee and ate chocolate cake for a while, talking about nothing in particular. Sora was still looking anxious, so he'd asked her what was on her mind.

He knew something big was weighing on her when she'd remained silent for a few minutes. Sora had loved to talk about her problems. She still did, when he thought about it. But eventually she had opened her mouth, all the while looking at the crumbs of chocolate cake on the table.

"Matt… I don't know how to tell you this… but… I've heard Mimi's pregnant."

He remembered suddenly feeling very dizzy. Of course, he and Mimi wanted children one day, but he hadn't expected any for quite a while Things were going to get very complicated. He'd have to marry her much sooner than he'd thought. They'd both wanted to wait until she was a famous movie star and his rock band had hit the big time. And there were their parents to think of. His father would be disappointed, but nothing compared to Mimi's parents. They didn't even like the idea of Mimi dating him, let alone having his child. Matt could foresee great difficulties. Still, once the initial shock had worn off he had become almost accepting of the idea.

It had taken him a while to realise Sora had more to say.

"And… this is really hard, Matt… just understand it's only what I've heard… it might not be true, but… the father is Michael."

Matt had honestly felt his heart break. He felt it shatter into a thousand pieces as Mimi danced on them in her favourite pink stilettos. He'd thought they were in love. She had said that she was in love with him. He felt so betrayed. He wished he could be angry, but there was only enough space in his body for deep hurt and sadness. How could she do such a thing?

It couldn't be true. He wouldn't believe it. Mimi would never do that to him.

He'd left Sora with the bill to pay.

He knew she had to be mistaken. She must have heard wrong. People loved to make vicious rumours. They always did. That had to be it.

He was able to keep fooling himself until Mimi herself had flown over to talk to him. When she had said she was pregnant, admitted openly to it, his heart, now so fragile, had fallen apart again. The hurt was so much worse because this time it was mingled with disappointment. He'd been so sure, so absolutely certain Sora had been wrong. Now that Mimi had said it herself, he did what he was sure she had been asking for. He'd let her go. To show he wasn't going to get all possessive and refuse to give her up to the man she obviously wanted. It had been like hot knives through his soul to say those words to her. Those words that he could never forget. Those words that plagued his nightmares.

"Mimi… I… I… maybe we shouldn't see each other any more. I'm… sorry."

But he would rather have suffered for a million days and nights rather than have her feel bad for just one minute. However, he couldn't just stay and watch her and she left his life forever. Like he didn't care. He couldn't pretend like that. He'd walked away so she couldn't see the tears he was crying.

Matt punched his pillow. If only he'd stayed a little longer. Maybe she would have told him then that he was the father, and all misconceptions would have been cleared. They could have been happy. He could have married her and they would have been a family together. As it was, they had both spent three years going through unmentionable torture. And now due to another stupid one night mistake he was stuck with Sora. Life was against him. It was the only explanation. Life was simply against him and everything he had ever done.

He heard Sora turn off the shower taps. He turned away from the door. He didn't want to talk to her right now. He couldn't help blaming her, even if just a little, for the way things had turned out. It was easier to blame her for accidentally giving him incorrect information, and for being too willing to get in bed with him that drunken night, than to look deeper within himself and place the blame squarely on his own shoulders.

Please note that the last lines of this chapter were from Matt's point of view and do not represent the opinions or feelings held by me, the authoress.

Emma's useless facts about nothing in particular

The largest number of children born to one woman is 69 in Russia

And another because it has been so long and I feel bad

One human brain generates more electrical impulses in a day than all the world's telephones put together