Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or the game.

Warning: Nothing much. Maybe a swear word and some 'attempted' violence. And... it's a crack fic.

Dangyunhaji

Ikkaku vs Yumichika

MC Kon shouted "Captains! Call your first contestants forward!"

Yoruichi turned to her team to pick a player. "Blue team calls Ikkaku to the floor!"

Everyone clapped as Ikkaku planted his feet on the blue circle.

Urahara cupped his chin thoughtfully as he examined the players dressed in red. "Yumichika!"

Laughter erupted as the dynamic duo was chosen to face off. They wondered what kind of silliness would ensue. As Yumichika went to stand in front of his bald buddy, the audience clapped for them.

A smirk climbed its way onto Ikkaku's face. "Ready Yumichika? I'm gonna show no mercy."

Yumichika brushed his hair with a hand. "Who said I wanted any?"

Zaraki's laughter rang over all others at this. "I wanna see some blood! Hear me?!"

Kon chuckled. "Then let's start with Ikkaku. Begin!"

Wasting no time on thought, Ikkaku spoke up. "The barber that cut your hair like that because she thought you were a girl, right?"

Kon chuckled. Both teams cracked up at the thought. Yumichika looked away with an offended "Ha!"

"Say 'Of course'," Kon reminded the pissed off Yumichika.

Yumichika's turn. An insult instantly slipped from his mouth. "Yo mama shaved your head because your natural hair color was poop brown, didn't she?"

Ikkaku rubbed his hairless head protectively as the audience giggled.

"Why you!" Ikkaku shouted, attempting to run at Yumichika. Ichigo and Renji held him back as Yumichika cowered in fear.

Kon slipped in. "Calm down Ikkaku. That was kind of a weak attack. But go on... Of course?"

"Of course," Ikkaku mimicked.

The baldy stared at the floor, thinking of his next attack. He chuckled as a certain memory involving apple pie and a fiery red head came to mind. "Okay," he said, delight in his eyes as he looked at his buddy.

"Do you remember that time I bought some apple pie…?" he began deviously.

The smirk on Yumichika's face melted off at the words. "Yeah, why do you have to bring that up?" Yumichika laughed nervously, glancing over Ikkaku's shoulder at someone on the blue team.

"Do explain," Yoruichi said, smelling some juicy gossip.

"Well," Ikkaku began, "It happened a month ago when I bought some apple pie. Yumichika and I were going to share it…"

Ikkaku paused for dramatic effect. "… Until a certain red head walked by…"

Everyone looked at Renji, the only red head present. The said red head's eyes widened at mention of that particular type of pie. Then he remembered the incident that Ikkaku was mentioning. "Wait a minute… it was you two?!"

Unaffected, Ikkaku stared into Yumichika's eyes. "Yumichika splattered it all over him and ran away."

Kon gaped at Yumichika for a second, admiring his bravery. "Is that true Yumichika?"

Yumichika laughed nervously. "Of course."

The two teams hollered.

This time, Renji was the one who needed to be restrained. Ikkaku and Ichigo grabbed his arms to keep him from beating the sh1t out of the pretty boy.

The laughter ceased. Still ticked off, Renji backed away. Yumichika drew a breath to come up with a counter attack. He even brought up a pointing finger at Ikkaku- but it was all futile.

"You…" he began threateningly. When he couldn't think of a decent come back, he released a small giggle. In all seriousness, he said "You know Renji is going to kill me for this after the show?"

The audience roared with uncontrollable laughter.

Yumichika returned to the red team defeated. His team members comforted him while they were still laughing.

Kon shouted over the din "KNOCK DOWN! Blue team wins round one!"

End of Chapter One! Hope you enjoyed it! Please review! Next chapter: Rukia vs Ichigo and Renji.