Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the Gilmore Girls, not Luke, no one.

Chapter Three: You Freak, I Freak

As Lorelai walked up to the kitchen entrance of the Inn, she could hear Jackson and Sookie bickering inside. She couldn't help but laugh, it seemed their kitchen side spats kept them in love with one and other. But today something was different; they stopped as soon as she walked in and got very quite.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Lorelai said.

Sookie looked frantic. "Going on? With what? With us? Oh you know, nothing, the carrots he brought are kind of mealy, and the uh…the uh…."

"Tomatoes, the tomatoes, they just really stink. They're really awful." Jackson said playing along.

"Oook?" Lorelai said raising an eye brow and pouring herself a cup of coffee.

"Well I better be going I have more deliveries to make." Jackson said kissing Sookie on the cheek. "Bye Lorelai. And I'll see you at home." He said as he shut the door behind him.

"Ok, what's with you two?" Lorelai asked once she was sure he was gone.

"Oh you know us, he brings me bad veggies, I tell him, we argue." Sookie tried as she might, but was not about to justify this situation to her best friend, Lorelai knew better.

"Yeah but, Jackson always defends the vegetables, he was pretty hostile towards the tomatoes back there."

"He's learning to admit when he is wrong."

"Sookie." Lorelai said shooting her the cut the crap look.

"Ok, ok, we were arguing about…"

"You were arguing about?"

"You and Luke getting back together." Sookie said immediately rushing closer to Lorelai.

"What?" Lorelai couldn't believe her ears. "About me and Luke, Sookie, is there something I should know I thought you were all on board, you are the one who told me he planned the party, you are the one who has telling me that I love Luke and Luke loves me since before I would even admit I found burger boy attractive, why, why would you be arguing about this, what is there to be argued, he loves me, I love him…" Lorelai was in rant mode.

"I know Lorelai I know, that is what I was telling Jackson everything you've said and more. I promise you I'm behind you and Luke."

"But Jackson isn't? What please tell me, was his argument?"

"Well…"

"Sookie."

"He just doesn't want to see you hurt again. He's afraid…"

"He's afraid…you think he's afraid, I don't know if you have met me or not, but I am freaking out here. And it doesn't help to have everyone in town just waiting for this to all fall apart again, its too much pressure. On top of the ever present pressure of making sure I don't loose him again, I don't say or do anything to get us back to that place where he can't even look at me, and I can't stand to see him because it just hurts so badly. So if Jackson thinks he's afraid then well, he is mistaken because he has no idea what fear is."

"Oh honey." Sookie said hugging her friend. When Lorelai pulled away she had tears in her eyes.

"I just…I just don't think that I could loose him again you know. But I also can't live in fear of loosing him again all the time, and it's enough to make you crazy trying to balance all of these thoughts in my head. I just…I wish we could have just got it right the first time but we didn't because I am not meant to have what I want, I am never supposed to have the happily ever after dream. I am thirty-eight years old, and I have yet to hold a successful relationship. I've been engaged twice, and divorced once less than a year after we were married…"

"You made a mistake with Christopher, you wanted it to work, but it wasn't meant to be." Sookie said holding Lorelais hand tight.

" Its not for me Sook, I am not the marrying sort, it isn't in the cards for me."

Sookie sat Lorelai down on the stool by the island, held on to her shoulders and made her look her in the eyes.

"I'm not letting you talk yourself out of this Lorelai. I'm not. You are my best friend and you deserve to be happy, and Luke makes you happy. So maybe you have a past, don't forget he does too. And you can't keep punishing yourself for what happened between you guys before. You deserve this Lorelai. You will be married, it will be to Luke and you will live happily ever after and after all this time, you'll appreciate it even more. You're doing this smart. Going slow. Taking it one day at a time. You guys have always moved so fast before, you waited eight years to get together then went ninety miles an hour towards the finish once you did. Slowly, but surely. You guys are going to win the race." Sookie finished.

"You really believe that Sookie?"

"One hundred percent."

"You aren't just reciting the best friend hand book."

"I lost my copy years ago, I've been off the cuff for a while now."

"Thanks." Lorelai said hugging Sookie.

"That's what I'm here for."

"So you do have you handbook." Lorelai tried to joke.

"Nope, that was all me."

"Wow you're good." Lorelai said collecting herself and making her way into her office.

She sat silent at her desk for a moment and caught her breath tried to make the voice in her head stop running.

It was eight o'clock the dinner rush was winding down and Lorelai was still in her office. Sookie tapped on the door holding a cup of coffee and a brownie.

"Knock, knock." Sookie said waiting for Lorelai to ask her in.

"Oh hi hon, how's it going." Lorelai pretended to be ok.

"I'm fine, what are you doing?"

"End of the month, you know how it is, just tying up things paying bills, signing pay checks."

"You've been in here all day." She said setting the cup and plate before her.

"Thanks." Lorelai said taking a sip of coffee. "You know what they say, no rest for the wicked."

"Uh, huh, well Michel says that Luke has called five times and you keep telling him different reasons you can't talk."

"I'm kind of busy here Sookie, I will see him tonight."

"Uh-huh, yeah hon, its eight, you've been here twelve hours. Your day is done, go have your evening with Luke."

"Its really that late? Wow, I'm just really behind here Sookie I have to get this stuff done." Lorelai said shuffling papers around.

"You're sure you aren't avoiding Luke?"

"No, Sookie, why would I be avoiding Luke?" Lorelai said keeping her eyes glued to the papers before her.

"Oh I don't know could it have anything to do with the melt down in the kitchen earlier?"

"That wasn't a melt down, that was a discussion, I am fine now."

"Can you hand me a purchase order?" Sookie said seemingly changing the subject.

"Yeah, sure, what do you need?" Lorelai asked.

"A closed circuit camera for the kitchen so the next time you have a melt down I can play it back for you."

"Sookie." Lorelai said annoyed.

"I'm sorry Lorelai it is true. Now you have to decide what you are going to do from here, if you are going to hide from Luke and let these thoughts take over your head, or if you are going to actually go out there and put your heart on the line with him one more time, and work your ass off to make sure you prove Jackson and anyone else who loves you both enough to worry about you, wrong."

"I just really can't loose him again."

"Well hiding out from him in here sure isn't going to do you any favors."

"You're right." Lorelai said standing up and grabbing her jacket.

"I know I am. Remind me to get a real purchase order from your tomorrow."

"For?" Lorelai asked putting on her jacket.

"A new microwave."

"A new mic…Sookie what happened to the old…"

"You go, I'll fill you in tomorrow."

"Soo-kiiie." Lorelai whined as Sookie pushed her towards the door.

"Have a good night." Sookie said shutting the door behind her.

Lorelai was preoccupied fumbling with her keys and thinking through the thousand different possibilities of catastrophe that could have become of the microwave, when Luke walked up.

"Hey." He said softly.

"Hey, I was just about to call you." Lorelai said walking towards him. "What are you doing here?"

"Did Michel tell you I called?"

"Yeah, he did I was just really swamped, I kept meaning to call you back, but…"

"You were swamped right, I understand." Luke said quietly looking at his feet.

"I'm sorry if I upset you." Lorelai said.

"I'm just a little confused, how today, suddenly, after all that stuff this morning about if I really love you, and the craziness Babette put in your head and suddenly you're so swamped at the Inn that you can't take a call. An Inn that as I know from your rant about it two nights ago really isn't that booked this week and you have always been able to take a call or at least return one before. Even during your busiest times you could take a call because oh wait, you own this Inn, and you decide who and when you can talk to people. So that makes me think that maybe, just maybe you've got something in your head and it isn't looking too good for me, in which case, I better start packing because as discussed I have to move to Tibet and buy a razor because apparently to be a monk I have to save my head and face and God knows what else."

"Luke." Lorelai said touching his arm.

"Lorelai I need to know, if you don't want this, if you don't want me, if I am just something you thought you always wanted and turned out to be less than desired I just I need to know because I can't keep doing this, I can't keep getting you and loosing you, I can't keep worrying if every little thing I do or say is going to bring it all coming down on me. I need to know that if you are in this thing, that you are in it, come what may good or bad, no running, no hiding, in it, working it out, whatever problem you might have or I might have talking about it, making it right because I love you Lorelai and I just can't take not knowing what is going on in that crazy beautiful head of yours."

Lorelai pulled Luke in for a hug and held him tight.

"You're scared too." Lorelai said with a smile in his ear.

"Terrified." Luke agreed.

"That is the best thing I have heard all day. And to answer your question, you know I am in this with you. I love you, I don't want to loose you again."

"We are going to drive ourselves nuts if we don't just move forward, and forget what happened before." Luke said looking Lorelai square in the eye.

"I know." She said softly.

"If you're freaking out, I need to know it. I need to know why." Luke continued.

"I know."

"I need you to talk to me about everything. We have to talk about everything." He said brushing back her hair.

"Absolutely." She smiled.

"No hiding."

"No hiding." Lorelai agreed kissing him.

"Good." He said standing looking at her for a moment. "You hungry?"

"Starving, I was really busy today, I didn't stop to eat."

"Seriously? You were that busy?" Luke suddenly felt like his whole rant was unfounded.

"Well I made myself that busy, now I don't have to go back to work for three weeks."

"Lets go get some grub crazy lady." Luke said opening the passenger side of the truck for her.

"You know." He said putting the truck in reverse. "That wasn't very nice what you did at the diner today."

"Is this us talking about everything?" Lorelai mocked.

"Yep."

"Well then I am very sorry, perhaps I can make it up to you." She said with a smile.

Luke chuckled. "Perhaps."

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