Chapter 13 I want you both
Tohru… Tohru stirred, she muttered incoherently, snuggling deeper into the warmth pillowing her head.
Tohru…wake up.
"Jinn?" Tohru muttered. Her eyes came slowly open.
"Who is Jinn?" A voice asked gently in her ear.
"I am." Tohru answered without thinking. Yuki giggled. Tohru's eyes widened at the sound. She tilted her head up to look into his eyes. Her breath caught. He was looking at her with such tenderness. She became aware of her nakedness beneath the blankets. She became aware of her naked flesh touching his. Her face heated. But she did not look away. She was to enthralled at the Yuki before her to move. He was so relaxed. He was so… peaceful and beautiful. She smiled tentatively into his eyes and he smiled back.
"I love you, Tohru Honda, you don't need to be anyone else. Just be yourself."
"Myself would never have been so bold, Yuki-kun, and so, at least this once, I am glad that I was not myself, but that I was Jinn san!" Yuki's brow furrowed in confusion.
"Miss Hon- Tohru, what do you mean?" Tohru began turning all shades of red as Yuki sat up, sliding his body along hers, eliciting a thousand delicious sensations, all of them naughty.
Jinn san, help me please. Tohru thought. It was just natural to allow Jinn to take control; Tohru was so innocent and so easily flustered especially in this situation and she was trying to explain a very unique situation naked.
Yuki felt himself go hot then cold as Tohru changed before his eyes. Her blue eyes went crimson, a pink hue suffused her skin and her hair became auburn.
"I am Jinn, Yuki Sohma." Jinn ducked her head, inexplicably nervous. She peeked up at Yuki her tummy churned as his pale features went even paler.
"What… what is going on… Tohru?" He asked on a panicked breath. Jinn moved to take his hand in her own, clutching the sheet to her chest as she did so. She slid her hand into his limp one.
"We are Jinn and Tohru. We are one and at the same time we are two. I am the protection against Hatori. Through my powers I will aid Tohru in freeing the Sohma's from their curse." Her eyes shifted blue again.
"And it was because of Jinn san that I was able to save you and Ayame. Without her you both would have died." Her eyes shifted red as she responded aloud to herself for Yuki's benefit.
"That's not completely true. Tohru has immense spiritual power on her own. She has a golden soul. With the proper training she could have healed you both, while I did use some of my own strength the bulk of the healing came from Tohru's love for you and Ayame."
"So who did I make love to last night?!" Yuki asked, he sounded as if he were being strangled. Tohru flushed crimson even as she dimpled at him.
"We made love Yuki-kun. Tohru and Yuki… and Jinn." Yuki felt as if the air had been sucked from his lungs.
"Tohru, did Jinn force you to-" Tohru's hand flew to cover Yuki's mouth. The sheet slid lower revealing the rounded top of her breasts as she slid one hand into his hair behind his head and lay the other over his mouth. Her eyes were blue as she shook her head at him.
"Yuki-kun, Jinn gave me the courage to do what I wanted to do, she does not control me. I do not control her. We are… of the same will. I've wanted to be with Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun for as long as I can remember. I just never thought that being with you like that could be so," she paused as if seeking the right word before settling on one, "satisfying. I love Yuki-kun. I have no regrets about what we have done." She then removed her hand from his mouth and as if to reaffirm her words she leaned forward and kissed him. It was a brief capture and release of lips but it left Yuki bemused as she stood and began gathering her clothes. Then the rest of what she said sank in and his mouth dropped open.
"Wait a minute, Miss Hon- Tohru, you want to… do that with Kyo as well?" She froze as he waited for her response. She was twisting her panties in her hand as she considered his question. Finally she answered him in a soft voice.
"I love Yuki-kun. But I love Kyo-kun too. I do not want to ever be apart from either of you. I want to spend my life with Yuki and Kyo. I want us to live together and take our meals together and… and yes I want us to make love together!" She raised shining eyes to Yuki, her face marred by a troubled frown. "I know it's not… normal. I know I am being selfish and I should just give one of you up." Her mouth pursed in a firm line and a determined note entered her voice, "But you are both mine and I will fight to keep you both!" Her eyes met and held his. Yuki collapsed weakly against the bed.
"Miss Hon- Tohru, you can't be in love with both of us… not like that!" His eyes pleaded with her for understanding.
"Yuki-kun you say can't like I have a choice, but my heart has already chosen you both. A world without Yuki and Kyo is a world I will not face. And so I choose to love you both for as long as you will let me." Her eyes dropped and she fled to the bathroom. Yuki watched her retreating back in amazement. How had he gotten himself into this mess?
He numbly stood and began dressing. Last night had been the most amazing night of his life. He knew he would never feel for another as he felt for Tohru Honda. He still couldn't believe he could hold her and he wouldn't transform. But the idea of sharing her affection, her heart… and yes her body with Kyo made him uncomfortable. He had always assumed that when you fell in love it was with just one person, but thinking back over the years he could see where Tohru obviously cared for both him and Kyo in a manner that was different than the affection she had for the rest of their family. Could it be possible that Tohru really did love the two of them?
Yuki grimaced as he pulled on his socks. A year ago he had felt nothing but contempt for the cat along with a bit of envy. But now, he admired the way the cat had kept his word, a promise Yuki didn't think he would have been able to keep. He admired Kyo's ability to be strong even when the world beat him down. And in his heart he pitied the cat, locked up in a one room shanty with wooden slats for windows only visited by Akito and your worst enemy. Kyo was worse off than any member of the Juunishi but he survived in spite of his hardship. He never gave up. Yuki was uncertain if he would have had the strength to carry on as Kyo had.
There was a knock on the door. He stiffened wondering who it could be. Tohru was still in the shower. So he warily went downstairs and opened the door.
"I am glad that it was you prince." The eerily calm voice came from Hanajima as she strolled past him. Uotani was grinning hugely at him. She slapped him on the back and laughed aloud.
"You old dog you! I always thought it woulda' been Orange-top myself, you were always so formal with Tohru miss Honda this and miss Honda that. Who would have ever thought it would have been you to make our dear Tohru a woman!"
"But who will make her a bride I wonder?" Hana queried serenely as she sat down. Arisa's smile fled and her pipe came out. She struck the flat of her palm.
"I daresay the prince here will definitely do the right thing!" She growled.
"That is not for us to decide." Hanajima said her eyes locking and holding Arisa's gaze. Arisa relaxed and sheathed her pipe.
"I guess not." Hanajima turned her eyes back to Yuki who was wishing that the floor would open up and swallow him on the spot. How did they know? He wondered.
"When you have the abilities that I do it's very difficult to keep a secret, especially Tohru. I am very glad it was you prince. Though I know she loves Kyo as much as she loves you I always knew you would be the gentler lover, the perfect match for Tohru's initiation into womanhood." Arisa nodded her head in thoughtful agreement.
"That's true, I know that the prince here would at least make sure Tohru enjoyed herself, I'm not too sure that ol' Orangey woulda' been able to control himself enough." Her eyes met his and she smiled widely, "Thanks prince!"
"Ummm… your welcome." He muttered unsure of himself. It was a relief when Tohru breezed into the room.
"Uo-chan, Hana-chan!" She threw her arms around first one friend then the other. They returned the embrace immediately. They were laughing and exclaiming their delight and consternation in equal measure. They had been worried when Tohru disappeared but then Hana had sensed from her waves what Tohru was doing and they were both so happy for her.
"But never do that again, what if Hatori had been there!" Uotani chided.
"Or Akito." Hanajima intoned her eyes going darker. Tohru waved her hands defensively grinning at her friends concern.
"I would have been alright, I have Jinn and I took my needle pouch with me so I could've stopped anyone if I had needed to." Her face grew serious. "I think I may have sensed their need. Ayame and Yuki were both dying." Arisa and Hana both gasped as Tohru related in detail what had happened when Kureno had led her to Yuki's sick room.
"And your God did this to you because you went to visit Kyo?" Hanajima asked him, her disturbing eyes locking with his. Yuki swallowed uncomfortable.
"Akito… Akito is not like other people." Arisa snorted disdainfully her eyes flaming.
"I should say not." Yuki flushed crimson as he tried again to explain.
"Akito doesn't mean to hurt others… she just… does. She wants to be loved and she is afraid." He finished lamely. Tohru eyed him through two sets of eyes.
"Why is she afraid Yuki?" A pair of voices queried from her mouth. He gaped at her as he realized that both voices were hers.
"She doesn't want to be alone, I think." Arisa snorted again.
"So she beats anyone who shows any bit of free will and tries to control every aspect of the lives of those she thinks she loves. Why haven't you guys just left the bitch?!" Yuki raised angry eyes to Arisa, meeting her glare for glare.
"Because she is our GOD. It doesn't matter what she does to us," His breathing become labored and his voice rased in volume, "we love her and we just wish she would be happy, when she is angry, or sad it is like a wound on our soul and we cannot find… peace… and it…hurts…us..because…we…love her…so much! Aaaaaa!" Yuki collapsed to the ground his breathing labored and intense, tears rushing from him in great liquid waves. He couldn't stop crying, he couldn't get control, he couldn't breathe. He loved Akito and Akito hated, Hated, HATED HIM! Akito had tried to KILL him! With a wail of anguish, Yuki curled himself into a ball. He wanted to just DIE!
Suddenly she was in his mind.
Be calm Yuki. Sh commanded him gently
I can't! He cried out in misery in his mind.
You can. I will help you. Yuki felt the warmth of Tohru seep into his soul, he felt the sunlight of her spirit seep into his existence and merge with him. Their memories merged and they began recalling each others experience each recollection vivid and fresh, there were no secrets between them as they became one spirit. Yuki realized that Jinn had allowed this gift. She was soaking up all his pain, all his darkness, smoothing out the black blots and stains of his life and suffusing his being with the gilded Butterflies golden light.
I will not leave you alone, my love. Tohru's thought speak pierced his mind as a phoenix song cried out.
Yuki returned to himself to find his head being cradled against the chest of the girl he loved, his tears drying fast on his heated cheek. Uotani and Hanajima both supporting Tohru as she supported him. His eyes met Hanajima's. Silver tears clung to her thick dark lashes as she smiled encouragingly at him.
"What… just happened?" He asked as he pulled himself slowly away from Tohru.
"You were having a panic attack. Jinn allowed us to merge and I soothed you." Tohru was looking at his with a woman's eyes, timeless and inviting, soft and gentle, the sparkling warmth of her love shone through her gaze, caressing his skin and soothing his sorrow.
"I love you." He said without thinking. Tohru's smile widened.
"I know." She stood to her feet. "I'm surprised Akito hasn't sent anyone here to check on us. I would think that this would be the first place she would look for us."
"If she even cares to look." Yuki responded unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. Tohru's hand moved to his shoulders to relax him as she continued.
"I need to know the layout of the Sohma grounds. I need to know where the quarters are of all the other members of the Juunishi. Can you create a map for me Yuki?" Yuki nodded.
"I don't know that any of the other members of the zodiac will come with you Tohru, none of us wants to displease our god."
"I've thought of that Yuki-kun, but I want to give them each the option. As for Kyo," she firmed her lips into a grim line, "he doesn't have a choice. After tonight no cat will ever be locked up in the cat house again.