LE EGADS! I am actually updating! Still, it's only been a month. That's pretty damn good for me!

Anger Fuelled by Romance

Mimi and Matt were between the sheets again. Sora was playing tennis for some charity benefit, and would be gone for the whole weekend. So both Matt and Mimi thought it would be the ideal opportunity for Jamie and Mimi to stay the night at the Ishida mansion.

Truth be told, they didn't have sex all that often anymore. At first this concerned Mimi - was he growing bored of her already? But the more she examined the situation, the more she realised that this was not so. It wasn't that their passion was dwindling; it was that it was evolving. When their relationship had started there had been a sense of urgency; they had to make up for lost time. But now everything felt far more casual. There seemed to be all the time in the world, even though both knew that there wasn't. They could watch movies or play with their children or just lie together on the sofa. So long as they could cast those meaningful little looks at one another, and occasionally reach out just to make sure the other was there, they were happy.

The only reason they were sharing Matt's bed this time around was because it seemed fitting. Isn't that what normal couples did, lying in bed before going to sleep? And then again first thing the next morning?

They had just finished, and were lying nestled together like spoons. Matt's arm was draped lazily over Mimi's naked waist. His hand brushed across her belly-button, fingers surprised to feel the bar piercing still there. More than anything else, he was ashamed not to have noticed it any of the many other times they had made love over the past weeks. Though, he justified mentally, it wasn't as if they'd had a lot of time to go exploring for such things.

He remembered the day she'd got it. She'd been sixteen, visiting from the United States. He'd dared her. She'd accepted, on the condition that he get something pierced too. Matt had always suspected that Princess Mimi had a streak of wild child in her, and that he gave her the boldness to bring it out. They had always wound each other up; kept things between them fiery, passionate. All Sora did was cool things down.

Matt still had the stud through his eyebrow. He thought it suited his rock star look. But he didn't understand why Mimi still had hers. Not when she'd denounced everything that reminded her of their time together, and especially not when she had been pregnant.

He pressed his lips to the silken skin where her neck joined her shoulders.

"You still have the piercing. That's kind of sexy."

"Mmm," she murmured sleepily. "It was hell when I was pregnant with Jamie."

"So why'd you keep it?" he asked, trailing kisses down her arm.

"To remind me of the stupid things people do."

Mimi felt Matt's forehead press down dejectedly on her bare upper arm.

"What we had wasn't stupid, was it?"

Mimi thought for a moment before flipping around to grin at him. "No… it also looks pretty hot."

Matt smiled, sliding up the bed so that he was sitting with his back against the headboard.

"Well, Mimi, I've been giving this a lot of thought…" he began his speech hesitantly, knowing how important it was for him to find the right words. "And I think that you'll agree with me saying that what we've got is very special. Some people spend a lifetime looking for a love like ours. And yet somehow, miraculously, we've both stumbled upon it. And I don't see how we can both keep ignoring this. I know you've had your doubts, but this is our very happiness we're talking about. And with that in mind… Mimi, will you marry me?"

Mimi tumbled backwards out of the bed. Pulling down the bedspread to cover herself, she scrambled to stand.

"But… but you're already married!"

Matt nodded as he pushed himself out of bed, not bothering to cover his nudity.

"Yes. But Sora and I have never been happy. It would come as a surprise to no one if we were to split up."

He was moving over towards her, but she darted out of the way, picking her short pink dress up off the floor as she did so. She pulled the garment over her head, not bothering to first find her bra or her skimpy lace thong.

"Matt… let's not spoil this…"

Matt threw his hands up in exasperation. "Why is it spoiling anything? Why won't you let me be with the one I love?"

Mimi zipped herself up and gazed at him levelly. "Matt, please. Don't ask me questions that I can't answer. Don't ask for things that I can't give you."

"God, Mimi, why is the idea of us being together so repulsive to you? Why will you give me your body temporarily but never even consider the possibility of a long-term relationship? Why do you think you have to hold out on me?" He paused, his blue eyes kaleidoscopic with mixed emotions of frustration, anger and confusion. "Are you punishing me? Is that what this is?"

Mimi didn't answer. Why was she holding out on him? She had some faint idea about remaining morally superior to Sora. Not stealing her man from under her in the most devious way possible. Not sinking to that kind of level. And while she wanted to explain this to Matt, she knew she couldn't. Not until the right time. But her silence did not seem to help matters. Matt exploded, beating his fist hard into the wall.

"Dammit Mimi! Haven't I suffered enough? Haven't we both suffered enough? What will it take for you to move on? What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm sorry?"

Mimi stared at the man in front of her. She'd thought that she could forgive him. She'd thought that she already had. But maybe she was punishing him. Subconsciously letting him in close, but never close enough, as her way of getting vengeance for the past. She was so confused… she had no idea what she felt anymore.

"Nothing!" she found herself screaming, her voice high-pitched and hysterical. "There's nothing you can do! There's nothing that will make me forget! Not when Jamie cries out for a father that should have been there from the start! There are some wounds that just don't heal, Matt! Some things that cut too close to the bone!"

She closed her mouth abruptly, as if shocked that the words spoken had been coming from her. She loved Matt - she did. So why was she saying such hurtful things? Where were they even coming from? Was that honestly how she felt? She'd become so good at hiding her emotions that she'd even been hiding them from herself?

Whatever it was, she suddenly felt oddly lighter. Calmer. As if maybe she might finally be able to move forward with her life. As if maybe she could finally get out of the trap that her painful past had caught her in. As if she'd let go of something that had been pulling her under, weighing her down. As if she'd been drowning, and could now take her first gulps of sweet air.

Matt, on the other hand, was standing as if slapped on the other side of the room. His face was white as a sheet. His hands were shaking badly, and when he spoke, it was in a voice of forced calm.

"I thought you could forgive me, in time. I thought that once the story was out in the open we could move forward; learn to trust each other again. But maybe I was just being foolish. Maybe your reluctance for me to divorce Sora is just because you don't really want to be with me at all. Maybe you're playing me like a fiddle. Maybe… maybe we shouldn't keep doing this."

Mimi's face set in disbelief. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" she asked in a squeaky voice.

Matt's eyes flickered dangerously. Mimi knew him well enough to know that his tolerance was fast waning.

"Give me a fucking break, Mimi. One second you're hot, the next you're ice cold. I don't know what you want from me, and I don't think you even know what you want from yourself. You're conflicted, confused, always weighing up the pros and cons. I get it. You've been hurt by me before. But a relationship can't work like this. I can't be with you unless you can be with me."

"Well… well if that's how you feel I'd best leave you here and now!"

She'd expected him to stop her. To start apologising effusively; to say that he hadn't meant a single word he'd said. That it had been the heat of the moment causing his irrationality. She hesitated so that he could jump in. But he didn't. So, dying inside, she grabbed what was hers and strode out of the room. And, maybe, out of his life.

Review if you love me!

Emma's useless facts about nothing in particular

In 2001, St. Patrick's Day was banned in Ireland because of the scare caused by foot and mouth disease.