AN: Thanks for the R&R everybody. You guys rock!

Steam from the Coffee

Elliot tossed around in his empty bed. It was the first night in months that Olivia wasn't next to him.

She was adamant about having her space that night.

So after Elliot snuck around the hospital making sure all of the tests proved positive and forced her to allow him to drive her home, he came back to his room to sleep off his frustrations.

All night he could think of nothing but her. He could feel himself making the same mistakes he made with Kathy.

The mistake of causing a distance between his fears and the people close to him.

He knew why Olivia really wanted her space.

The argument was obvious, but he couldn't ignore the pressure in the back of his mind.

The pressure to be a good father and husband.

It was a job he never fully accomplished in the past, and now, at the age of forty, he lacked the confidence for a second try.

The silence was driving him crazy. He sat up and clicked on the light.

Groggily he walked to his sock drawer.

He'd been holding a small box in the corner of his drawer since the divorce with Kathy went through.

It was an impulse buy, but the feelings behind it were genuine. Elliot opened the small box and looked at the ring inside of it.

He couldn't understand why he hadn't given it to her yet. Every time the thought made it to his lips a weakness inside of him held it back.

He didn't want to screw anything up. She was too important to him.

Sitting on the corner of his bed, Elliot flipped the lid of the black box open and closed, while starring at the empty sheets.

That empty space was not what either of them needed right now and Elliot knew that.

Over the years he learned that when Olivia was in doubt with herself she always demanded to be alone.

It was her way of avoiding conflict.

And although he tried to give that space to her, he was never really good at understanding it.

And rightly so. Being a child who was raised with six brothers and sisters, and then going on to raise four of his own, space was not an option.

You had to fight for what you wanted. Family was family.

If you had an issue they did too. By allowing Olivia to retreat he was placing her in their familiar partnership, and it was time to put that relationship on a shelf.

Grabbing a shirt he headed for the door.

Maureen was feeding Benson in the living room when her father bolted outside. "Where are you going?"

"Coffee," was all he said before closing the door behind him.

"But we have coffee here," she said to herself confused but not entirely surprised. Ever since her father started seeing Olivia on a regular basis outrageous things were happening all of the time.

She bounced the baby over her shoulder and shook her head. "Crazy kids."

SCENE

Buzzz. Buzzzz.

"Somebody better be dead," Olivia groaned into the speaker.

"My black heart. Now let me in," Elliot demanded.

"I told you I couldn't see you tonight."

"I brought coffee."

"I can't drink coffee."

"It's decaf."

"Go home Elliot."

"You are my home. I'm not leaving until you let me in."

Olivia paused weighing the importance of staying angry or making things right. She clicked the buzzer.

Elliot walked in to find her curled up on the edge of the couch under a blanket watching "Breakfast at Tiffany's."

He placed the two coffee cups on the coffee table and muted the movie. "Can't sleep?"

"Elliot, I really can't talk about the attack tonight ok," she said frankly but with warmth in her tone.

"I didn't come here to talk about that."

Elliot was sitting on the other side of the couch. He felt so far from her. Slowly he moved next to her and reached out for her hand.

"I'm really not in the mood for that."

"Liv, if you want this relationship to work, you have to talk to me. That's what a family does they talk to each other. They lean on each other. They support each other. And I know that you're new to this, but I know you want it. And I know why you're upset."

"You know, I am so tired of everybody knowing what is best for me. You have no idea why I'm upset."

"Ok, so tell me. Liv, why are you upset?"

Olivia turned away from him. She couldn't bare to be the first one to bring up the marriage conversation.

It was the one thing that her liberal bleeding heart lost to the conservatives.

With an almost robotic tone she mumbled her reaction. "If I have to tell you then it's not worth talking about."

"Stop pushing me away I'm not your partner anymore."

She snapped at him angrily ", that's right you're not. So what are you then, Elliot?"

Elliot ignored her anger and gently handed her the large paper coffee cup. "I didn't come here to fight."

Olivia placed it back on the table. "Why? I want you to fight. I wish you would fight. You're so comfortable and complacent. I've sacrificed so much for you. I gave up my job. I gave up my body. I take care of your grandson and your children with no questions asked. I've even given up most of my things just so that I can sleep next to you every night, and the one time I stand up for myself and think about what it is that we're doing with our lives I get attacked by a man with a sick agenda."

"Are you saying that this attack was my fault?"

"No, I'm just saying that there is something missing from our pretend family here, Elliot, and before the attack I was upset about it. Tell me that's not a sign? I have no control over my life anymore. I feel like a vessel. I crave to be with you, but I can't do it with one foot on the ground. I love that you love me, but I need more than that. I need more than half the bed. I miss my routine. I miss knowing that when I come home all of my things have a place. I miss my badge. I miss my gun. I miss being aware of things. This never would have happened to me when I was busting perps. I'm getting soft and…and… stupid. I can't believe how I missed that guy when I walked past him. I just don't feel like myself and I miss myself. I miss my selfish habits and my purple comforter and my midnight movie marathons." Olivia was sobbing by this point and having a hormonal break down. " And damn it, I miss not having to cry at everything that comes out of my mouth."

Elliot was aware that he had distanced himself recently, but he was completely oblivious to the all-around stress he had caused her. "Liv. God, I didn't know. Why didn't you say something? I love you so much and I want you to be happy. Please, let's fix this," Elliot said standing up and holding her large pregnant body with its' tiny frame.

Through the tears she whined. " On top of all of that I don't even recognize myself anymore. I'm fat. I'm so fat that I don't even fit into my fat clothes," she said as she pushed him away.

"You're body is beautiful. Liv, you're beautiful. You are the sexiest pregnant woman I've ever laid my eyes on. I can't say it enough. I've been so hung up on my own issues that I didn't realize that you were so unhappy," he said pulling her towards him again.

"Just don't even touch me. I can't stand myself at the moment. And you. I need you to step up. This baby is coming and if you aren't going to be here for us 100 then you need to re-evaluate the meaning of love."

"I know. I know. You're right. I've been an awful Elliot. Sit down. Calm down. That's why I'm here." Elliot guided her to the couch and knelt on the floor by her bare swollen feet. He wiped the tears from her face with his handkerchief and handed her the cup of coffee. "Have some of this."

"I can't. I'm too upset."

Elliot batted his eyes and stuck out his bottom lip in jest. "I walked all the way to your favorite coffee shop. Five blocks out of my way. Have some before it gets too cold."

She took the cup and held it in her lap. "Thank you, but Elliot coffee isn't going to butter me up. I need answers. I need commitment. I need my own damn bathroom and my daughter needs some walls for her crib."

Elliot looked at the pile of baby furniture in the corner and smiled. "Yeah, I suppose she does."

Then the words registered in his mind and he took a double take from the furniture to Olivia's eyes. "Wait a minute, did you just say…"

She nodded. "I asked the doctor tonight during the sonogram. We're having a little girl," she smiled.

Elliot nuzzled Olivia's belly and cooed into her shirt. "That's wonderful. She's gonna be so pretty. She's going to be the handful that takes the rest of my hair isn't she?"

Olivia laughed and played with the top of his head. "I'm sorry I shut you out at the hospital. I'm just a mess. That wasn't fair of me."

"It's ok," Elliot said looking up at her face from her lap. Slowly he lifted the coffee cup towards her face. Her lips pushed forward to drink from the plastic lid but then stopped at the sound of both of their cell phones.

Olivia placed the cup on the coffee table and grabbed her phone. "Benson."

With an irritated sigh Elliot mashed his face into the warm couch cushion and grabbed at his belt for the ever-interrupting cell phone.

"Cap, what cha got for me?"

Cragen's voice sighed on the other line. "There was a fire at the children's facility in Manhattan. Catherine Rigby is missing."

"I'll be there in a few."

Olivia stood in the center of the living room with her phone in her hand and her face in a state of shock.

Elliot blinked at her with question. "What's wrong?"

"Catherine's files are missing. I'm being evaluated for leaking information. They want me there in twenty minutes."

"Why would they think you leaked that?"

Olivia shook her head slowly. "I don't know."