A/N Yeah, I'm hopeless. I took quite a while didn't I? I hope this is a good chapter. I thought it looked promising. Anyhow enough of my rambling! Obsessive Remus to Paddie'sGirl and Kaze Kiba. Thankyous at the bottom, you guys are awesome:)
Chapter Three – Cold Feet
Remus gave a small jerk and his bed covers flew off his body and onto the floor. Groaning he leaned over and switched off his alarm which was now chirping merrily welcoming the new day with unsuppressed glee. Remus wished he could trade places with it… But he couldn't.
He could hear crashing sounds from below and knew that Sirius was awake. Yawning widely he trampled down the stairs to find Sirius indeed awake, a piece of paper in his hand and a pencil behind his ear. A small grin graced his lips for a moment, thinking that it must have been the first time Sirius had been up before eleven on a Sunday.
"Morning." Remus said opening the fridge to get some juice.
"Right back at you…" Sirius said his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his eyes scanned over the page analytically.
"Dare I ask?" Remus said issuing the piece of paper.
"Toast to the bride and groom, aka Freckles and Prongs." Sirius muttered still not looking up.
"You know, her freckles faded in first year." Remus muttered.
"And yet the name stuck." Sirius said finally looking up with his dark eyes to see that Remus looked worse for wear, "How much sleep did you get?"
"Not much." Remus replied, "Nerves, you know."
"I can empathise." Sirius said pouring himself a glass of orange juice, "At least you don't have to get up in front of a whole heap of people who are expecting you to be funny."
"I thought getting up in front of people who expected you to be funny was your area of expertise." Remus said with a small smirk. Sirius always had the ability to cheer him up. James did too but he was marrying the girl of his dreams…
He winced.
Not a good thing to think about.
"It is, just not when it's something important. I'm the mate who's there for the good unimportant stupid times like pranking Filch, then there's the type of mate who makes a memorable speech at his best mates' wedding. Two completely different concepts Moony."
"Just be yourself." Remus advised.
"An arrogant prick?"
"I was thinking more along the lines of attractive comedian."
"That's what they'll write in my obituary, but what I really am and what everyone knows I am; is an arrogant prick. And being an arrogant prick doesn't help in your best mates' wedding toast."
"Still got the rings?" Remus asked. Sirius could worry all he wanted about wedding toasts but nobody really cared if it was crap. Now, on the other hand, if he screwed up the actual wedding he was in real trouble.
"For the millionth fucking time, yes." Sirius muttered impatiently returning to his toast. "They're right here in my pocket."
"Show me." Remus said.
"What?"
"Show them to me."
"You don't trust me at all do you?" Sirius said indignantly.
"Not for a minute." Remus said issuing with his finger. Sighing in a frustrated manner Sirius pulled the rings from his pocket and placed them on the table in clear view.
Part of him; the noble part, was relieved that they were indeed in safe hands. The other part; the part that was absolutely devastated that the love of his life was marrying somebody else; was disappointed that Sirius had kept them so safely.
"Satisfied?" Sirius said whipping them back into his pocket and studying his paper once more.
"Immensely." Remus said sipping on his juice glaring at the sun gleaming through the window. The most miserable day of his life and the bloody sun was smiling down at him from a perfectly blue sky. Just bloody typical.
A third person entered the kitchen, uttered a bleary hello and sat down next to Remus pulling the orange juice towards himself and sipping from the bottle.
"Other people have to drink that you prat," Sirius snarled his eyes still on the paper.
"I have a hang over." Peter muttered massaging his temple. He, unlike Remus and Sirius had been up the night before drinking with a few other Hogwarts cronies. Sirius, who would have joined in on such merry traditions but had been much too absorbed in the writing of his toast, simply rolled his eyes.
"Now you know how I felt all those years." Remus said looking at Sirius over his glass.
"Oh don't pretend like you've never been drunk Moony."
"I'm not. I just didn't get drunk nearly as often as you did."
Peter groaned and muttered something Remus couldn't hear through his folded arms as his head was currently resting on top of them. Downing the rest of his orange juice, Remus paid no attention to him and stated that he needed a shower. Peter groaned in reply and Sirius told him (his eyes still on his speech) not to use all the hot water.
'No chance of that' Remus thought bitterly. He wasn't going to give himself the pleasure of a hot shower. He never wanted pleasure again. Just pain and suffering. If Lily was marrying James he wouldn't even need to work at getting pain and suffering. He'd just get out of bed in the morning and it would be there, hanging over his head. Over the nine hours he'd been in bed trying to get to sleep he'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to distract himself without a wedding to plan… So he'd let the misery creep him and invade his body and mind. Filling him with depressive thoughts.
Remus actually looked quite respectable that day. He had used one of his father's best white ties and his best black robes (he'd made sure the patches were hardly visible) and he'd ironed his white shirt so perfectly that he felt as if it had been filled with starch. Sirius, on the other hand, was having difficulty looking even an ounce respectable. His collar refused to sit properly (seven years of simply undoing the top button and being so scruffy, Remus mused) and his tie was uneven and messy.
"Here let me do it." Remus sighed at last growing impatient with Sirius' fiddling.
"What if I screw up?" Sirius asked nervously.
"You're nervous?" Remus asked with a sort of miserably chuckle, "There's something I thought I'd never see."
"Oh well, take pleasure in my insecurities." Sirius said, "Someone has to."
"Oh we all will mate." Peter said on entering the room. He too looked grand; best dress robes and undoubtedly one of the most stylish bow ties in existence, he even put Remus to shame, "After all. You've taken pleasure in ours for so many years it seems unfair not to return the favour."
"Oh well take pleasure then while you can." Sirius said, "You won't look so good once I've said my speech."
"Well don't choke." Remus muttered.
Peter and Sirius both laughed; Sirius admiring himself in the mirror while he did so. He looked dashing. But then, he always did. Maybe not as neat and tidy as Remus and Peter, but dashing none the less.
"I don't think I can do this." Sirius said shakily.
"Have you got the rings?" Remus asked concerned. Sirius turned on him with an incredulous look on his face and exclaimed: "Will you stop it with the rings already???? Yes I've got them!!"
"Well other than that I don't see what you're so nervous about. It's not like you've got the chance to back out. Cold feet are for the bride and groom."
"Oh as if James and Lily will get cold feet… they've got that clichéd thing happening… Cold feet my foot."
Remus' stomach lurched. He hoped his work wouldn't go to waste… But more of him… The less noble part, hoped that Lily did in fact get cold feet and found fast feet.
They hung around the apartment for a little while. Talking and laughing as there wasn't much else to do. But as the clock neared eleven they prepared themselves for the church. Sirius had to get there early so he could brief James (as it was his wedding day and he would definitely need briefing) and Peter and Remus were to hang around and do whatever needed doing.
As they all piled into the car, Sirius' hands began to shake. He took the wheel, but shook his head and said (or demanded) "Moony… Drive."
Remus rolled his eyes jumping over the gear stick into the driver seat. He turned the keys hastily (his hands not much better than Sirius') and backed out of the drive shabbily almost running into a pot plant.
"Jeez, if I didn't have a hang over I could do much better than you pair." Peter said indignantly.
Remus and Sirius ignored him as they were both preoccupied in their own thoughts. Each tree, post and car Remus passed made him want to turn around and drive in the other direction, hoping to god that that would stop the wedding. He bargained with god, begging his service in return for Lily.
But God wasn't listening.
They got to the church and practically jumped out of the car. There were hordes of people milling around the courtyard socializing and laughing. A wedding after all was a joyous occasion… A joyous occasion of love in the midst of a war of hatred.
Sirius sprinted into the church. Looking left to right to find the side room where James would be getting dressed.
"In there." Said a short, brown haired witch with freckles.
Sirius nodded and rushed into the room to his left. Remus (trying to hide his growing agony) greeted the witch with a wave.
"Hi Marcy."
"Remus." She replied with a warm smile. She looked different to the school girl he remembered. She'd always been a fun person. He remembered the way her hair used to be bunched into messy pigtails as she blew bubbles with her strawberry chewing gum and laughed. Now she looked more mature… Serious. He hadn't seen her for a long time. She hadn't joined the order and anyone who hadn't joined the order had dropped off the radar what with his commitments. In school he never imagined not speaking to people like Marcy again. But now he knew that school mates were often lost once they entered the real world. Especially when the real world was in such dark times.
He pulled her into a warm hug, careful not to ruffle her apricot bride's maid dress.
"How you been?" She asked.
"Oh you know… Okay." He replied.
They didn't say anything else. Nothing else needed to be said. Okay, said it all and covered all matter of sins. In all honesty inside he was anything but okay. His heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour and he was dreading every minute that passed leading up to what was about to happen.
"Remus!" A pleasant faced girl wearing the same apricot dress Marcy wore ran towards him and pulled him into a zealous hug. He patted her on the back and gave her a small grin. Jenna Wyatt grinned back. Another school mate he hadn't kept in touch with.
"How are you?" He asked.
"Great. Excited." She said smiling in a bubbly manner. She'd always backed Lily's relationship with James so he could imagine her excitement. "I'm glad you're here, because Lily really wanted to see you."
Remus' heart skipped a beat. Lily wanted to see him?
"Where is she?" He asked trying to keep his voice even.
"In that one there." She pointed to a little door opposite the one Sirius had entered. Remus didn't look back at the two bride's maids now arguing over the position of the flowers and pushed open the door.
He sorely wished he was James.
Lily looked stunning. Her red hair hung in soft curls around her shoulders and her green eyes sparkled with anticipation. Her dress was simple, but elegant.
"Hello stranger." She said with a smile. Remus wanted to hit his head against a brick wall in agony.
"Hi." He said barely mustering words, "You look… Beautiful."
"Thanks." She said blushing slightly and averting her gaze. She wasn't wearing any jewellery or any make up. The way Remus always remembered her.
"So…" He started.
"So." She replied looking up, "I'm getting married."
"Yeah... Yeah I picked up on that too."
She chuckled for a moment and then looked up at him with a smile; "I'm doing the right thing aren't I?"
It was then that Remus noticed the tiny flicker of doubt in her eyes. It wasn't straight out 'There's no way I can do this.' But it was there. He tried to squander the little voice that applauded this flicker of fear… but to no avail.
"What do you mean?" He asked. Yes, that was a nice even careful question.
Lily sighed and looked down at her dress consciously, "Well what I mean is… Well am I too young? Am I ready to marry James?"
Yes you are too young. No you're not ready.
"I don't think I can answer those questions for you." Remus said softly.
"No… I know you can't." She looked up and wiped away a quick tear, "Thanks Remus."
"Well you're welcome. I wasn't really very much help."
Lily laughed and crossed the room to give him a soft hug, "Yes you are. Always have been."
Remus sighed absorbing the moment. It was the last he'd get before she was a married woman. Lily a married woman? More like a married girl.
She gave him a chaste grin and wiped her eyes hastily. "All these bloody emotions. I'll smudge my mascara, not a good look on your wedding day."
Remus chuckled. If Lily was getting married at least she hadn't lost the sense of humour he knew too well. He just hoped he could get through the next few hours on that thought alone… That she'd still be the same Lily… Still be as far from his reach.
Somehow he doubted he would.
Paddie'sGirl - He he thanks. Yes surprisingly he's almost as obsessive as my mum (almost... not quite... she's really really obsessive) Ooh cookies and Draco??? You're too nice! Thanks again:) Hope you like this chapter. Next chapter will probbly be receptions and stuff (although it will include a little snippet of the service) anyway enjoy. :)
Kaze Kiba - Eh, now that you mention it I can't decide either. I'm glad I'm getting it across but it does pain me to make him miserable. But what can I do? (Not make him miserable lol well that would be a bit easy and life isn't often like that I suppose) Thanks so much for your positive words and sorry for the long delay. My mind gets blocked sometimes... lol
Anyone who reviews this chapter gets Sirius and Remus in theri sexy wedding suits/robes. So plllllleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee review, I live off reviews (or as EternalConfusion says, 'I'm a review whore' Gosh I love that quote) Anyhow review my pretties! Review!