A/ N: Thanks KristenH, I kind of used idea, it just doesn't start where chapter two left off, but the flashback does. :D Thanks SexyGirl017 and Princesspaperclip, and KristenH for reviewing! Thanks for your patience! Enjoy! Oh, and I might not update any of my stories very soon, my computer isn't working right. Please R& R!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Kaycie, Laci, and Auburn, and the poem. It's called "I Hate December".
I hate December. I always have, I always will. People call me a pessimist, I'm not really, it's always just been a really, really bad month for me. It's December now, and Kaycie Michaelchuck won't shut up about me wearing "extra black this month", "being such a Goth girl", or somewhere along those lines.
Ms. Kwan said that this assignment should be worked on over the course of the year, and while I'm on the topic, everything bad seemed to happen when Craig was around…
My best friend Laci Nash (younger sister of Ellie Nash, she lived with her grandparents most of her life) or the "weird punk kid" said that I should try and express my emotions through writing or music.
Incase you haven't noticed, I'm not much of a poet or a musician. That's more of Craig's thing. I mean, I'm glad that it works for him, but seriously, do you think that I, Angie Jeremiah, would do such a thing?
I guess I could try.
I hate December
When mommy died
I hate December
When daddy cried
I hate December
When auntie got mad
I hate December
When brother got bad
It's all- true, I guess. Mom died in December when I was two, Dad used to cry a lot because of it, Auntie Caitlin and Dad got into that huge fight one Christmas, and that's when Craig had one of his first Bi- Polar attacks. He didn't really get "bad"; it just rhymed better than any other word that I could think of.
I hate December
When I was late for school
I hate December
When the freaks are most cruel
I hate December
When people are self- obsessed
I hate December
When people compare who's presents are best
I was late for school a lot in December. There was always some sort of problem. Some "Craig related" problem. Whether it was his abuse, or mental state; nothing ever went right. And the make it worse Kaycie and her side- kick Auburn Aden (cousin of Hazel Aden) would always say, "Jeremiah obviously didn't get her brothers looks or skills! That must suck! Poor her!" Then, they laugh, and laugh, and their laughter wouldn't fade from my ears. And ever once it a while it will return for a last chant.
Then Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, or whatever holidays people celebrate would pass, and the new year would come about, and everybody would be all giddy about their holiday's, talking about that new necklace that they got, and how awful it was with their grandparents. Whiners. I've always spent my breaks at funerals, cemeteries (not that I mind visiting Mom, Nana, and Papa's graves), or in hospitals with Craig, or in airports with Craig. Funny how everything always come back to Craig. Mr. Craig Manning.
I hate December
When children starve
I hate December
When roast beefs are carved
I hate December
When they always go out
I hate December When they hit and shout
Every Christmas when Caitlin was here, we'd watch videos or starving children dying from something, somewhere. I'd get lectures on how lucky I was, and then we'd have a meal. A nice one, but nothing too fancy. Dad would go along with what Caitlin, and told me do donate some of my Christmas money (at least 10) of what I got to the poor. Craig has walked out on us a lot during December, but out of all of the times, that one-year sticks out in my memory most.
"Craig, we're going to get you help, okay" Ashley said almost crying.
"Ashley! Ashley! I'm sorry Ashley!" Craig tried to apologize.
"Craig, we're going to get to help. Craig, you need help," she tell him calmly, as Craig slowly calmed down. He walked over to the wall, as slid down against it. Craig began to sob.
I wanted so badly to move myself from my "safe zone" on the couch, but couldn't bring myself too. I would have gone to Caitlin, but she was getting Joey an ice pack, and a rag. I would have gone to Craig, but quite frankly, I was afraid of him. So, I went to the only person, who I knew would have hugged me, back- Ashley Kerwin.
Ashley wrapped her arms around me, and rubbed my back softly. She hummed me a song, and rapidity said, "It'll be alright Angie, just wait…" And I did.
About a minute later the doorbell rang- Caitlin got it. "Hello," she said to the man in a police uniform at the door.
"Yes, I received a call about violence," the man said very orderly.
"Yes sir," Caitlin said. "My err… step- son was having some issues, but he seems to have calmed down now."
"I see ma'am. Was that all?"
"Yes,"
"Then I'll be off," the man said. And with that the man turned around, and marched out the door. Caitlin shut it behind the man, and turned around.
"I'll get Craig's things," she told my dad- obviously in pain.
"Ashie?" I asked. I adopted that nickname foe her when I was like 4- she had just gone Goth, and I had noted the very… well ashy colored black clothes, and make- up that she had worn.
"It'll be alright Angie," she said tenderly, as Caitlin appeared back downstairs.
"Come on," Caitlin softly spoke, helping Joey up off the couch. Ashley let go of me, and went to get Craig.
"Come on Craig," she said in a very mother- like tone. The same tone that Joey use to use on me, and when Craig first came to live with us. "Let's get to the hospital,"
That was five years ago, almost to this very day…
I hate December
When lists are five feet long
I hate December
When carolers sing a song
I hate December
When the dates are near
I hate December
When there's sugar- coated fear
I hate December
When my dreams run away
I hate December
When the lights don't show the way
From what I hear Craig's "real father" would have bought Craig anything Craig wanted, regardless of the price. Lists could have been any length Craig wanted, because his father would have beaten him, and then bought him everything on the list. Craig always got his muse when he was sad, and like me, or should I say, like him, I get my muse when I'm sad, or really thinking about something.
You can tell around our house when the "sad season" is arriving. I always get sad, Joey always reads his old psychology books, Caitlin always calls, and Craig plays his guitar 24/ 7. Early December when I was two, I had decided that I had wanted to be a mommy, middle December when I was two my mom died, late December when I was two I decided that I would never want to be a mom, because I didn't want to leave my kids like my mom had done.
But, she didn't really leave us, well she did, but not because she had wanted to. She was killed, because God had wanted her home again. Or at least that's what Daddy, Caitlin, Craig, and Ashley said. One year, after Craig got a car, him, Ellie, and Manny took me on a ride down Candy Cane Lane. But, the lights didn't take me to Mom's grave, where Craig said we were going. He avoided it purposely, I know.
I hate December
When to many people feel
I hate December
When I said Santa wasn't real
I hate December
When the pain burns like smoky fire ember
I hate December
When again each year I'm forced to remember
Every year, I have to feel in December more than any other month. Every year Kaycie and Auburn have to hate me more during December. Every year Joey, Caitlin, Craig, Ashley, Manny, and now Ellie have to suffer through these months. I blame myself sometimes. I blame Dad sometimes. I blame my deceased Mother sometimes. But, most of all I blame my beloved brother Craig. Why Craig? Why are you the way you are?