Chapter 4 Nutcracker

After the break Tashi was to report to a training room for sword practice. Again, the officers were there, but this time the Captain in charge took an interest in aiding their instruction for the day. When Tashi arrived Eri and Tetsuo walked over to greet her. She looked down trodden and when Eri asked how things went with Kuchiki she shook her head.

Eri said "I can't believe he wouldn't help you."

"He didn't even let me explain" said Tashi. 'They're probably laughing at me right now.' Tashi imagined Kuchiki-sama and his vice captain getting a good laugh out of the young girl who thought she might be worth their time. They would slap each other's backs and point at each other congratulating themselves on their significance to the order of the universe. Tashi admitted to herself that it was a bit exaggerated, but she couldn't deny feeling foolish.

"I don't get you. How could you be so loyal to that guy, for no reason?" asked Tetsuo.

"You couldn't understand" said Tashi.

Tetsuo raised his arms and bent them behind his head and said "I'm glad sometimes, that I was not raised in a noble. You guys make no sense" said Tetsuo. "Hey cheer up, it looks like your brother's friend, Yukimaru, is your sparring partner for today. At least you know he'll go easy on you." Tetsuo teased her a bit by doing a curtsy. "It just wouldn't be right to take a sword to a lady of the courts."

Tashi half smiled and heard a familiar laugh again. "Hahahaa. I can't seem to help bumpin' into you today" smiled Ichimaru.

Tashi felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and nodded to the 3rd squad Captain. She backed away and ran off to spar with Yukimaru. As she picked up her wooden sword she saw Renji Abarai enter the room. He greeted the Captains and made brief eye contact with Tashi.

'Urgh! I hope Kuchiki-sama doesn't show up. It's bad enough Abarai has come to laugh at me. They're all so power obsessed and self centered! I can just hear them now… Hahaha, there's that girl who's so weak she had to ask us for help. Ha ha. I can't believe I have to do this on my own! Just being here is scary enough, away from my family and all those who protect me!'

The students sat down and listened to the 11th squad Captain Kenpachi Zaraki talk about sword fighting. He mostly discussed how much he liked to do it, and a little bit about technique. Renji leaned up against the wall occasionally throwing a glance Tashi's way. Eri noticed and whispered in Tashi's ear "He keeps looking at you!"

The girls smiled and Tashi whispered back "Maybe he's here to laugh at me, but at least he's a hottie! I don't think I mind so much" then she winked at Eri and found the tip of a jagged sword in her face.

Captain Zaraki said in his gravelly voice "What are you girls giggling about? Are you talking about a sword fight?"

"Huh?" said Tashi almost comically. She was afraid the blade would be slicing through her head. As she had been trained to, she immediately bowed, her head avoiding the blade, and said "I'm very sorry, Captain. My apologies for the interruption."

"Don't apologize. I hate apologies. They are excuses not to fight" said the grizzly captain.

'Oh my gods. One by one I'm pissing off the captains. I really am screwed.' "I'm sorry, Captain, but that was how I was raised. I am only trying to be polite."

"Politeness is crap during battle. Sit up, and stop saying you're sorry" ordered the captain. Tashi sat up. "Why did you do that?" he asked.

"I'm sorry? You told me to Captain."

"Quit apologizing! Why do you do what I tell you?"

"Because you're a captain and I'm a mere student."

"Hmmmmm. Or is it you are afraid of me?"

"That too" she admitted quickly. This made the class laugh.

It also gave a glimpse of what Kuchiki had told Renji. The Vice-Captain realized what his superior had told him was true. The girl was powerful, as were most royals, only she didn't realize it. She was raised not to use her power. She had been raised to be sorry, for everything. She had not been raised to fight if necessary. She lived her life apologetically; even when she was in the right. Since Renji first encountered the girl she had apologized for being taunted by Ichimaru, apologized for decimating her target at kidou practice, and now she was apologizing for apologizing. 'Shit, this is ridiculous' he thought.

"Who is your partner?" asked Zaraki.

"Yukimaru-sama" said Tashi, with her head slightly bowed.

"Sama, eh? Hmf. Go. Let me see you two fight" said Zaraki.

Tashi got up and walked to the center of the floor with Yukimaru. She held the sword lamely, as she had never held a weapon before. She looked down at the wooden sword and heard her mother's voice "It's just not becoming of a young lady to be stronger than her husband. The last thing she should do is lift up a weapon. Good gods, can you imagine? A royal wife with calluses on her hands from a sword!"

Zaraki growled as he watched Yukimaru pick up the sword. He saw the differences in skill immediately. Zaraki leaned against the wall between Ichimaru and Renji then muttered "This will be no good" Ichimaru laughed and Zaraki rolled at his eyes at the third squad captain. "I don't get you."

Renji stalked out to the middle of the floor and wrapped his arms around Tashi's arms to show her how to hold the sword properly. She blushed at his closeness but tried to focus on what he was teaching. Renji said nothing, but after adjusting her stance he stepped back and nodded his approval at her.

'How humiliating! Yukimaru is so much more prepared! The class is thinking I'm no good…' She heard Ichimaru laugh and it began an angry circle of thoughts and her hands again began to shake. She had to take deeper breaths to keep her calm. 'I don't belong here and they all know it! Abarai thought I was that helpless! Ichimaru is laughing at me, Kuchiki-sama just blew me off! I'm alone out here! I'm alone! Kuchiki-sama abandoned me! How dare he! After my father sacrificed his right leg so my brother and I could continue to serve the Kuchiki family he just—'

Zaraki called for the beginning of the match and though Tashi's thoughts were interrupted, her feelings weren't. Her anger poured out of her and she dove for Yukimaru, aggressively grunting and swiping with a stronger arm than she realized she had. She screamed as she swiped again and again and again and again, not giving Yukimaru a chance to recoup. He was taking steps back not understanding where Tashi's power came from. He looked in her eyes and saw they were clouded over by a golden light. She grunted and with each swipe, cutting the air with a whistle.

Zaraki laughed out loud at the unexpected even match. "This is better than I thought!" Ichimaru smirked knowingly and Renji's relaxed stance turned tenser as he eagerly watched for the outcome.

Yukimaru yelped "This is only practice, Tashi, what the hell?!"

Renji smirked thinking back to his days as a student.

Tashi kept thinking 'How could my lord abandon me!' Swipe Swipe swipe. She jabbed and jabbed, fast and furious. Yukimaru found his back against the wall and flinched as her sword clacked against his. She pushed and got close to him and said "What's the point of practice, if you don't take it seriously! You'll never be ready for the real thing!"

Renji chuckled to himself having said something similar.

Yukimaru pushed her off and she slid backwards along the floor. Once she stopped she came at him again. Their blades clacked and clacked and the other students were entranced wondering who would win. She heard a high pitched chuckle from Ichimaru and thought 'None of them! None of them understand my family is in danger! None of them even care!' With that thought the power of her swipe knocked the sword from one of Yukimaru's hands and left him wide open. She jabbed him in the belly, knocking him off his feet and soliciting a gasp from the regular school instructor and her fellow students.

When she snapped out of her anger she dropped her sword and ran to Yukimaru's side "I'm so sorry Yuki! I'm so sorry. I don't know what I –"

The regular instructor turned to her and said "There's no need for such an attack Tashi."

Tashi didn't know what to say then her attention was caught by Yukimaru's swearing as they removed the top part of his gi to check his injury. There was a large bruise where she had jabbed him "Oh my gods! Yuki, I'm so sorry!" 'This is going to get back to my parents! I know it! The fact that I did this will be such a shame to my mother! "How could I do such a thing? What is wrong with me?" she said. "I'm so sorry—"

"STOP apololgizing!" snapped Zaraki and he approached the group around Yukimaru. Tashi bowed her head to the ground. His command to stop seemed to shake the building and all the students ducked, hiding their heads under their hands. "You beat your opponent!" he hollered. "That is the point! Don't be so shocked. Enjoy your victory! He is the one who should be sorry. Not you! He lost!"

She peered up at him and said "I'm…sorry."

Before Zaraki completely lost his mind Renji stepped in and said "If you want to fight seriously then I will fight you."

Tashi's worry and concern were all over her face as she stared at the challenging tip of the wooden sword Renji pointed at her. She barely whispered "I'll pass."

Renji commanded "You don't have a choice."

She stood up and bowed. When she stood again she said "It's foolish to enter into a fight you know you cannot win."

"Ha! What if it's your only option?" asked Renji with a roguish smile.

Tashi saw what he was saying and said "I guess I will die."

"Just standing there? Won't you even try?" he pushed waving his sword at her.

"I guess…I guess I would try, but…"

"But what. If it's your only option, you have no other choice than to pick up a sword and try" said the Vice Captain.

Tashi reluctantly picked up her sword and held it the way she had been shown. She tried to be more determined, but there was something holding her back. He came at her with a basic swipe and she blocked it. He put a little extra pressure on her and she was slowly being pressed down towards the ground.

Tashi's foot slipped and she landed on her back. Renji stood over her pressing the sword a little more and a little more. He was not nearly using his full strength as it was not necessary. His face was serious, not letting anything distract him. He bent over putting his face a little closer and said "What would you do if I were serious? What would your war-hero father do?"

Tashi was shocked he would say that to her and re-angled her sword so the pressure he applied actually caused him to slide forward. Before he knew it he was falling forward and taking a wooden katana to the crotch.

The room gasped as Renji yelped, then he slowly fell over on his side. His hands were at his groin and he was gasping from the unexpected pain. Tashi stood up and again dropped her katana. Her classmates were stunned and no one was sure of how to handle this. One of the students ran to the infirmary to get a nurse. Tashi could barely use her voice and the little breath she could gather she said "I'm…sorry…" She looked at Renji's contorted face and ran out of the room.

The nurse came and Renji blushed as all the students stared at him. He whispered to the nurse "The hit missed my junk, but it's still painful." The hardened Vice-Captain scanned the crowd, but didn't see Tashi. He then saw the girl Tashi had been whispering with run out of the room.

Tashi covered her face in humiliation and ran to an empty classroom. She ran down a few steps and hid under a desk. She cried to herself in the dark for nearly an hour. After the tears stopped she thought about her parents. She recalled her father from his wheel chair explaining that her brother was very ill.

"He's always been sick, father, he'll pull through, he always does" said Tashi, optimistically.

Her optimism normally made her father smile, but this time it caused him a pained face. He told her "This time is different. The doctor said your brother will die."

"No, how?!" said Tashi. "This is…who will be lord, father? Who will be lord over your lands? Who will support Kuchiki-sama?!"

"It must be you, Tashi" he said seriously.

"Oh, father I could never—"

Then her mother entered the room. " Kutou what are you telling her! Tashi, don't listen to him. All you have to do is marry and your husband and he can take care of it."

"Woman! I don't want my lands in the hands of someone else! My grandfather fought hard to get these lands under his control, my father fought to build the administration, and I did my best to build a relationship with the nobles. I need someone of my own blood to maintain it and I refuse to hand it off to some uppity inbred kid who's never even seen a hollow before!"

Tashi's mother then argued "Why I never! To suggest that our daughter, after all the trouble I went through to raise her as a proper lady of the court, is going to" she gestured wildly "…to…fight!? That's ridiculous! I will not have our delicate flower exposed to such horrors!"

"I'm sorry, mother, father, I don't mean to be the cause of so much trouble. I, I want to help our family! Not disgrace them…" she said, back in the present. 'I entered this academy for my parents. I told my father I would do so for the honor of our family, and to serve Kuchiki-sama, and I told my mother it was so I would find an appropriate and powerful husband. What am I going to do? I can't please either of them now! I've angered the Captains, and no man would want a girl like me! Wacking Vice-Captains in the crotch!' Tashi's tears began to flow again. She hugged her legs and buried her face in her knees.

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Renji stood with some help from the fourth squad nurse and limped to the door. He was taken to the infirmary and given ice to prevent any swelling. A male healer came in and used kidou to reduce the bruising. The nurse said "You were lucky Vice-Captain. An inch to the left and she would've really hurt your—"

"YES! I am aware" said Renji looking away with embarrassment. 'Captain Kuchiki saw it in her. Now we have to figure out how to get her to see it.' Renji put his pride aside for a moment and recalled the guilt she felt for bruising the Yukimaru kid. "Hmf" he almost laughed. 'I'm the one who's laid up with an embarrassing injury to report to my Captain and she's probably ready to slit her stomach open with guilt. That girl is ridiculous.'

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Tashi calmed her tears again and noted the sun had gone down. She also felt she was not alone. She looked up and couldn't believe who found her. Captain Zaraki stood looking down at her and said calmly "What are you crying for, you won."

A young girl was perched on his shoulder said "Ken-chan! She hurt her friend. That doesn't feel good."

"Abarai isn't her friend. He was her opponent and forced her to fight. He got what he deserved."

"Ken-chan! That's not who I'm talking about" peeped the little girl.

Tashi couldn't believe her eyes. The confusion twisted her face at the humorous dialogue between the two comically different officers. As they argued she realized the captain wasn't there to antagonize her, but to make her feel the pride of what she had accomplished. 'I beat a Vice-Captain!'

The girl and her pink bob said "Ken-chan, the blond guy. The nice one who got the bruise on his tummy, not Renji-kun!"

"Oh, yeah. Mm." Kenpachi then looked down at the girl and said "You should enjoy your victory. Don't be concerned with the injuries of those who attack you." He turned away and laughed as he walked up the steps. He looked back over his shoulder at her and said "After today I don't think any of your fellow students will be so foolish as to provoke you." He continued to laugh as he climbed the steps. When he got to the top he turned around and called out into the dark "Maybe someday you'll get good enough for me to fight! HA HAAAA!"

The idea made Tashi's bones quake, but she realized that's why she was there. This is what her father needed from her and she couldn't be sorry for doing it. On the way out Tashi heard the little girl on Zaraki's shoulder say "Bye bye Nutcracker!"

Tashi looked up and saw the little girl waving at her and waved back. 'Nutcracker?'