"Oma...h-how. Why?" demanded Sam. If she was going to be visited by an Ancient, why not someone else? Wasn't Oma supposed to be the Ancient who Daniel "followed"? Out of anyone, she would have expected Orlin to be the one to come and say farewell to her.
As if reading her mind, Oma said, "Orlin is still under watch by the others. In helping you, he would be forced to redescend."
"So why are you helping me?" Sam asked, confused.
"I'm giving you a chance," replied Oma. "In questioning your friend of his reasoning for beginning the path, you served to begin your own journey down the path. Small steps are the key to long journeys. Orlin tried to come to you, but I do not like the ascended to throw away their life for something that would accomplish nothing. I come in his stead to seek out if you are truly serious about following the path as Daniel has begun to."
"Is that what you mean by saying my fate is in my hands?" Sam was beginning to feel overwhelmed and her knowledge of the Ancients was becoming scrambled and blurred. "You want me to follow the 'path'."
"Your fate is in your hands," Oma repeated. "When the mind is enlightened, the spirit is free, and body matters not."
Right, thought Sam. I really don't have the time for this. "Ascension. You want--You're trying to find out if I'm willing to ascend."
Oma dipped her head slightly.
"How can I do that? Is it even possible for me to? What do I do?"
"Questions are what bring us answers, but too many questions will bring nothing." Oma let a smile tug at her lips. "Unlike Daniel, you must fully begin your journey. With Orlin, you were able to open your mind to the possiblity to a power outside of your science. I ask you to do the same once more."
Sam closed her eyes and concentrated, like she had when Orlin came to her house. "Okay," she said opening them again. "What next?"
Oma allowed a slightly larger smile to come to her face. "Meditate."
"But if this finding the path thing will take along time...it's time I don't have," Sam said softly.
"Time is only a thing used to limit. The mind has none."
"Meaning?"
"Your people would call this a dream." She left off so Sam could figure the rest out.
Sam's eyes widened in understanding. "Time isn't relative in dreams. You're saying that here it as good as doesn't exist."
Oma nodded.
Remembering how Daniel imitated the monk's routines, Sam took off her shoes and sat on the floor. Oma glanced at her impassively and followed suit.
Sam breathed deeply and tried to do her best to meditate. Her mind kept spiralling off in different directions, not allowing her to relax--which, last she checked, was the whole point of mediatating.
She sighed an opened her eyes. Oma was giving her an amused look.
"You find it hard to loose control and admit that your views might not be the only correct ones," Oma observed. "You opened your mind once, you are capable of doing it again. I will guide you into relaxing your mind but I can do no more."
Sam closed her eyes again as Oma whispered instructions in her ear.
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With an effort, Sam pulled herself back to wakefulness. She had no idea how long she had been meditating, but she figured it had been awhile...or would it even matter due to the time irrelevence?
"Because you are so pressed, you journey to ascension will be shorter than most," said a voice behind her. "But do not be decieved. Though the journey to will be short does not mean the journey it over."
"What do I do next?" Sam asked. Her heart had skipped a beat when Oma said time was pressed. Her death had to be close...
"You must release the burden that binds you to your body."
Sam couldn't think of anything binding her to her body. Sure she had no desire to die so early in her life, but that wan't much of a burden to release. "Okay. What next?"
"A tall an cannot hid in the short grass," Oma replied.
Sam blinked, conufused. She didn't have any burdens...that she knew of. Unless that's not what Oma was saying. "I'm not sure what you mean. Can you please not speak in riddles? I'm having a hard enough time coping with the fact I'm going to die unless someone comes up with something."
"One cannot reach enlightenment by running from death," said Oma, infuriatingly calm.
"Please," Sam said, as pleadingly as pride would allow. "Tell me what I need to do." She had the feeling Oma saw her as a little, annoying child, impatient to grow up.
"Many roads lead to the Great Path. Only the willing will find their way." Oma retook her post at sitting on the rail along the ramp.
"Well, I'm willing," said Sam. "What do I have to do next?"
Impassively, Oma answered, "The river tells no lies, though standing on the shore, the dishonest man still hears them."
"How does that help me?"
Suddenly, two people appeared in the shadows. Sam didn't recognize them until they started talking: Colonel O'Neill and Jonas.
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Jack had been sitting by Carter's bed for at least an hour. She hadn't been concious since she started mumbling about an oma. Whatever that was. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't place it.
Instinct told him he was being watched. Turning, he saw General Hammond and a very surprising guest standing in the observation room above.
He got up and walked into the room. "What are you doing here?" he demanded quietly to the Kelownan visitor.
"Your cammander was kind enough to grant my passage," replied Jonas sadly. "I brought this naquadria. I, uh, I took as much as I could."
Confused, Jack asked, "Why?"
With a shaky sigh, Jonas answered, "The data recorded douring that accident demonstrated the potential power of the weapon as unlike anything collected previously." He narrowed his eyes and his voice became bitter with disgust. "I really have no idea which was worse: seeing my friends and colleagues die in the manner they did or the looks of utter glee on my leaders' faces when they heard of the potential power of the device. They wanted to know whenit could be demonstrated. Then I told them the truth about what happened."
"What did really happen?" Jack asked. "Major Carter wasn't to enthused to tell us and, as you can see, she is in no condition to tell us now."
Jack saw real regret on the other man's face as he said, "And for that, I am truly sorry. You have no idea the pain it's caused me to know that this was my fault." He glanced around the room. "Is there somewhere else we can talk?"
"I'd rather you tell me here, now," snapped Jack.
Jonas winced. "Major Carter and I were walking down the main corridor, heading for the lab..."
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"I've read the book that Doctor Jackson gave me," annonced Jonas.
Sam's eyes widened. "Already? Wow, you just got it last night."
Jonas pointed to his head. "I'm a quick study. It's how I got this position at such a young age."
"So?"
"So...? Oh, I should be useful in the translating." Jonas flushed sheepishly.
"Daniel'll be happy to hear that." Sam figured that now was as good a time as any to bring up the subject both she and Jonas loomed between them. "Daniel has found evidenee in the temple suggesting this planet was once inhabited by an very intelligent race. He tells me that, from your pictures, it looks like the civilization was destroyed by a cataclysmic explosion."
Suspicion instantly filled Jonas's features. "Our scientists theorised that our continent was struck by an asteriod ten thousand years ago. It is highly probable that that is what wiped out the inhabitants at that time."
Sam said softly, "We--Daniel and I--both agree that the civilization here was experimenting with the very same technology you are now. It backfired and destroyed them."
"From what I heard Doctor Jackson saying about the dangers in this galaxy, it sounds like we might need weapons like this more than ever," Jonas argued.
"True, but from what other advanced races have shown us, a sudden leap in technology will more than likely result in disaster, especially if that race isn't ready for the new technology."
Jonas stopped by the door to the observation room. They entered and Sam saw Tomis avidly watching the scientists in the lab begin their experiment. Jonas turned back to Sam. "Given the opportunity, would you deny us our only possible defense?"
"Well, I don't know what would happen to your people reguardless of whether or not you use you weapon, but I just wish you could think of another way," responded Sam, watching the scientists with almost as much interest as Tomis--just for differnt reasons.
She saw one of the scientists turn to one nearby and begin talking quickly. He then turned to Tomis. "The energy readings just increased by a power of ten."
Sickening excitement filled Tomis's face. "Incredible."
Sam, who was watching the device carefully, noticed something.
"Did you see that?" asked the scientist who working the device gleefully.
One of the measuring devices in the lab suddenly indicated a great leap in energy. The core in the device began collapsing into the actual device and Sam watched in growing horror as all of the scientists collapsed. Alarms began blaring loudly.
Tomis's look of excitement had changed to one of pure terror. "Get down and stay away from the glass! The radiation will penitrate the window!"
Jonas stared at his mentor with fear on his face. "What's happening?"
"The device could explode," responded Tomis before he ran out the door and fled with a crowd of other frightened Kelownans. Coward! thought Sam angrily.
"Tomis!" Jonas called after him, but Tomis was long gone.
One of the scientists stood up as if in pain. "We have to remove the core."
Jonas pressed himself against the wall as if he thought he could melt into it and be safe. The scientist collapsed again before he could reach the device.
Even before her mission here, Sam knew what adrenaline could do to your brain. You would act before you think and that could lead to all sorts of trouble. She had no idea what possessed her to do what she did, but Sam went back to the wall and took out her pistol. She aimed for the middle of the glass and shot it, point blank.
"No! Major Carter, don't" cried Jonas.
Sam ignored him. The shots from her small gun hadn't been enough to shatter the glass, so she charged it and fell into the room. She rolled like she had been taught back at the military academy to prevent herself from breaking any bones and hopped up. Though still disoriented from hitting the floor, she quickly identified the device. She walked over and tried to touch it but heat from the radiation burned her hand. Pullign her sleeves over her hands, she removed the core.
Common sense flooded her mind as she realized what she had done. She stared dumbly at her hands, disbelieving, before turning her gaze toward the observation room. Jonas, too, looked down on her wearing a stunned face.
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"I am terribly ashamed that no one could bring themselves to recognize Major Carter's heroism. She saved so many lives... It is a debt my planet will never be able to repay." Jonas, shamefaced, couldn't bring himself to meet Jack's eyes.
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"And millions could still die," Sam whispered. Jack and Jonas faded and she couldn't see what they were doing now.
"The future is never certain. You saved many without regard to your own life," said Oma.
"I could have done more," Sam snapped. "I could have sabotaged the device and made Jonas's claims true. Then I would know for sure I'm not dying for nothing!"
"You still believe your journey is not over," said Oma softly.
"I wasn't all that sure I was on any journey," Sam smiled wryly. "Even my dad thought I would end up as nothing. He only supported my dream to be an astronaut because he thought he would die. Then he found out that wasn't my dream anymore and I proved to him, once again, that I had no ambition. Honestly, how do I know my life wasn't a waste?"
Daniel appeared, sitting on an invisible chair. "Hey, uh..." Sam was shocked to see how upset he looked. He reminded her of when he head just lost Sha're. He sniffed. "Jonas came back and he, uh, stole soem naquadria for us--for you, actually. He told us it was because of what you did for his people. He wants you to know that Kelowna owes you a debt it can never repay." He struggled against a fresh wave of sorrow before continuing, "I really wish it had come to this, Sam. Why do I have to loose all the most important people in my life? First, my parents, then Sha're, and now you. I guess I want..." He shook his head hopelessly.
As he, too, faded, Oma said, "You can never reach enlightenment if you do not believe yourself worthy."
"I can't believe I'm worthy if I've got nothing to show for it," replied Sam. She was touched that Daniel was so hurt by her dying. She didn't relish in the thought, but she was comforted to know that someone cared enough to voice how he felt.
Suddenly, the gateroom slowly twisted and blurred into her office. Out of instinct, she organized the papers her scientists let scatter all over her once tidy counter. She looked up when Teal'c materialized on the other side of the counter.
"Major Carter," he said. He held up what looked like one of Daniel's Egyptian statues. "On one of my birthdays, I received this from Daniel Jackson. The idea, I am told, was that this statue would serve its owner in the afterlife. It is not much, but it is a small comfort to give you something that may serve you."
"I appreciate it Teal'c, I really do," Sam smiled mirthlessly, "but I don't really want to think about my impending death." She picked up a picture of herself, Mark, and her parents. It had been taken barely a week before her mother died.
"If you are to die, Major Carter," Teal'c continued, "I wish you to know that I believe the fight against the Goa'uld will have lost one of its greatest warriors."
Sam tore her eyes away from the picture to give Teal'c her attention.
"And I will have lost one of my greatest friends," he finished, adding a warrior's salute.
Sam's eyes brimmed with tears. Teal'c had given her the highest honors a Jaffa could give: his undying loyalty and recognition as a great warrior.
"Because it is so clear," Oma said as the gateroom came back, "it takes a long time to realize it. If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago."
"I'm not a very good philosopher," Sam quipped weakly.
As exasperated as she could be, Oma replied, "Why do you feel you have failed on your journey? Without your tireless work, the Stargate would not be open now."
Sam shook her head. "Daniel's the one who figured everything out."
"Everything?" asked Oma. Sam could almost swear she sounded a bit smug, and she could see why; Oma had a valid point. She was still disbelieving, so Oma added, "You laid the foundation that aided Doctor Jackson's solving of the gate."
"How?"
"Your tireless nights did not count for nothing," Oma answered.
"Does that give me free rights to ascension?" Sam joked half-heartedly. "Look, my dad was right. My life had been one failure after another."
"You feel your journey must continue until you find redemption for you failures?" Oma asked.
"I can't if I die," Sam pointed out.
"Exactly true."
"So, you mean ascension isn't really death. But don't I have to die in order to ascend?"
Oma remained silent for a moment. "I only matters how long you have been dedicated to the path throughout your life," she finally replied.
"But I still don't feel like I deserve to ascend," Sam argued.
"The people closest to you have been trying to tell you otherwise. Your father had yet to learn wisdom years ago. When you saved him by blending him with the Tok'ra Selmak, you saved his life and broadened his mind. Were he here, I' am sure he would tell you exactly what your friends have been trying to tell you all along."
"It doesn't take away all of the pain he caused," Sam said bitterly. Her memories of Jacob after his wife died were not pleasant. "I still think there was more I could have done. All I wanted him to do was say he was proud of me. Just once. But he never did. This whole time, I've felt my life has been for nothing."
Sam didn't know why she was sharing her deepest secrets with this stranger. She figured it was probably because Oma was the first motherly figure to come along since her own mother had died. Either way, it was too late to go back. Oma could probably pick up on why her self esteem was so low, especially now.
"The universe is vast and we are so small. But, there is only one thing that we can ever truly control."
"And that is?"
"Whether we are good or evil." With that, She began to walk up that ramp, toward the gate.
"Wait, you can't leave," protested Sam.
"The rest is up to you." Oma paused.
"Why am I getting the chance to ascend?" Sam demanded.
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Jack had escorted Jonas to the briefing room so he could speak with Hammond. He knew Jonas had been dancing around something but he wasn't quite sure what, yet.
"Obviously," Jonas was saying, "they don't know I'm here. I was lucky enough to access the Stargate. If I'm caught returning home, I'll be branded a traitor."
"What do you want?" Jack growled.
"I don't think my people would support a war that leads to mass desruction. It's just that our leaders don't see any viable alternative right now. Promise me, that if you're able to develop defense technologies like the shields you spoke of, you'll share them with my government." Jack knew how hard it was for Jonas to turn to strangers and practically plead for his peoples' safety. Still, he wasn't very happy with the idea of aiding the people who would be Carter's killers. Luckily, he was saved by the klaxons going off.
"Unauthorized incoming wormhole," Davis announced.
"Wait here," Hammond ordered Jonas. Both he and Jack hurried to the control room.
"Receiving Tok'ra IDC," Davis told them.
"All defense teams on high alert," Hammond commanded.
Into the microphone, Davis said, "High alert. Repeat, high alert."
A dozen SFs raced into the gateroom and took up defensive postions.
"Open the iris," ordered Hammond.
Davis complied and Jacob Carter stepped through.
Hammond breathed a sigh of relief and leaned over saying, "Stand down," into the microphone.
The SFs lowered thier weapons and Hammond went to greet his old friend.
"Sorry about that," he apologized. "Given what's been happening with the Tok'ra lately, we had to be sure it was you."
Worried by Hammond's somberness, Jacob knew something bad was up. "Understood. What's going on?"
Jack answered. "It's Sam."
His lips tightened into a straight line, Jacob strode off to the infirmary without another word.
He entered the room and saw Daniel sitting next to a bundle of bandages Jacob assumed was his daughter.
"Hey Daniel," he whispered. "How is she, considering?"
Daniel turned. He rubbed his eyes. "Not good. I'm sorry Jacob." He handed Jacob the healing device. "I had this just in case you came."
Jacob nodded and took the device. "We'll do our best." He took Daniel's place beside Sam and held the device over Sam. Selmak took control. They activated the device and Jacob's heart twisted when he realized the extent of the damage.
"Her condition is grave," Selmak said sadly. "I am afraid that I will be unable to save her. Even if I succeed, she would be crippled for the rest of her life."
"Do what you can," George said from behind.
Selmak reactivated the device.
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Sam gasped. "They're trying to save me. My dad--it has to be him--he's healing me. I feel it."
"Then your journey will continue as before," Oma said without any emotion.
"I'll be a cripple. I'd rather die than give up everything I've worked for. For as much as it's worth, death is the same thing. I don't want to go back," Sam said with finality. She just hoped she knew what she was getting herself into.
"Walking the Graet Path brings great responsibility," Oma said. "You cannot fear it nor hesitate in your resolve."
"I understand. I'm willing to go. I'm not entirely sure I deserve it, but I'm willing." Sam steeled herself.
"Them stop them."
"How?"
Oma told her and Sam's surroundings blurred until she was standing in her room, watching her dad heal her while the others watched. Choosing carefully, she walked slowly over to Jack and touched him reluctantly on the shoulder. They were brought to the gateroom again.
"Carter," he whispered hoarsely.
"Yes, sir," Sam replied.
Still stunned, Jack said slowly, "Did you want something?"
"I want you to tell Dad to stop."
"What? Why?"
"I need to go," Sam, replied. "I don't want to be half there if it means loosing everything I worked for."
"So what? You're just gonna give up?"
She wished he would stop playing dumb. Her last statement had obviously helped him get over his shock at her asking him to let her go. He shouldn't assume that she'd up and quit without a fight.
"No, sir. There's no way I'm giving up." She looked questioningly at Oma. Jack followed her gaze. "Remember Oma from Kehb?"
"Vaguely." As he spoke, Oma glowed and glided toward where the horizon should have been, only to actually become the horison itself.
"I'm going to be able to do more this way than if I were to stay with you guys. I'll be fine. Sir, please just tell my dad to stop."
Jack closed his eyes as the walled did the same blurry thing they had done when Carter first "contacted" him. Hearing the healing device still going, he opened his eyes.
This was probably one of the hardest things he would ever have to do, but he forced himself to do it for Carter. "Jacob, stop," he said gently.
"Are you serious?" Jacob turned along with the others but did not stop the device.
"She wants you to."
"Does anyone else want to tell me differently? I mean, this is my daughter."
"Please just let her go," coaxed Jack.
Reluctantly, Jacob stopped and let his hands fall to his sides. He saw and heard Sam exhale deeply and had to close his eyes to block the tears as her moniter flatlined.
"Colonel?" cried Janet. She was stopped from saying anymore by what was happening in front of her.
Sam's body glowed a soft, golden color and rose toward the ceiling.
The next thing Jack knew, he was back in the gateroom.
Sam, who was looking yearningly at the gate, turned as Jack came back. "Thank you."
It hurt him to see the relief that flooded her face as she turned to the gate and walked up the ramp.
"I'm going to miss you, sir. All of you," she said.
Jack nodded, unable to speak.
Before she could turn again, he found his voice, "Hey...where are you going?"
Sam smiled. "I guess I'm going to find out." She walked through the gate.
Back Sam's room, SG-1 along with Janet, Jacob, and Hammond watched Sam vanish through the ceiling.
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Never fear, it's not ending here! This is only chapter two. I've got at least four or five more planned.
I'm making more of an effort to listen to everyone's advice. Sorry I couldn't work with everyone's, but at least we (Thalia and I) are trying.
R&R