My eyes took in the scene before me. Bella, lying helplessly pinned beneath Felix, his lips at her neck. He was either kissing her, or trying to bite her, neither of which was acceptable. When I came out the door he sat up in shock. And then I was on him. He was fast, but I was faster. I knocked him off of her and pinned him to the ground. I pummeled him, my fists flying of their own accord. And then I threw him out the already open window. He landed on his feet, his grace preserved. His pride on the other hand, was another matter completely.
"You'll regret that Edward," he said menacingly.
"Touch her again Felix and I swear what Jane does will be nothing compared to the pain you will feel."
Our threats hung in the air, making it heavy with violent tension. He was staring up at me from the ground, his crimson eyes angry and embarrassed. He was thinking things—horrible things—about Bella. How he would hurt her, how he would make her pay for what I had just done. But there was also fear. He couldn't believe I was so angry. And he was afraid. He turned and ran into the darkening evening.
But my anger cooled when I heard the soft whimper behind me. I turned to look at Bella and stiffened. Her left palm was cut, blood welling to the surface of her skin. I gritted my teeth and leaned away from her, out the window to breathe in some air that wasn't thick with her scent. I held my breath.
I went to her, ripping a piece of the bed sheet. I sat beside her and I wrapped the torn cloth around her bleeding hand. I watching as the blood soaked into the fabric, dying the blue cloth black. I tied it tightly across the back of her hand, hoping to add enough pressure to it to stop the bleeding. She didn't seem afraid, though I was sure the strain of her blood in the air was noticeable enough on my face.
"Edward if this is too hard for you―" she began.
"No, Bella, I am okay. It will be easier once the scent has been masked. If you could keep your hand under the blanket, that would help," I pointed out. She slid her hand beneath the covers and swallowed hard.
"I'm so sorry Bella, I should have heard him coming. I should have known. I wasn't here to protect you and I―" she raised her hand to stop my words. I waited for a moment while she gathered her breath to speak.
"You don't need to apologize Edward, you didn't do anything wrong. I was sleeping and I didn't even know what was happening until…I thought…" she did not finish her sentence. Instead she looked away from me, hiding the truth in her eyes. Her cheeks flushed once again. Did she have any idea how infuriating that was? If anyone else were to do that I could simply listen to what they were thinking and hear what the rest of the words were. But with her, I was left without a single way to know, unless she told me.
"You thought what Bella?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Its too…embarrassing…" she confessed. I sighed. There was nothing she could tell me that I would laugh at her for, or think less of her for. Except for getting tangled in the shower curtain, and even she had admitted it was funny after a while. I took a deep breath. Then I reached out and tilted her face back to mine with a single finger under her chin. Her skin burned my fingers as it had burned my face, both hot and wonderful.
"What?" I asked. I looked straight into her eyes. Her expression softened, her eyes becoming relaxed and almost dazed. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it again. I smiled softly, trying to coax the answer from her. I knew what I was doing was unfair. I had the advantage here. Humans were frequently enticed by us, drawn in by our beauty and other things. Bella was almost helpless.
"I-I thought it…was you," she admitted. Then she lowered her eyes, clearly ashamed. I thought for a long moment. If he had been trying to bite her there was nothing embarrassing about that. If he had been trying to change her it would not have been shameful. So he wasn't trying to bite her. He was kissing her.
And she thought it was me.
I grinned. She still wouldn't look at me. I took the hand that was not injured in mine, covering her soft warm fingers with my cool ones. She looked at me then, as though she had no idea what I was doing. Neither did I really.
"What is so embarrassing about that exactly?" I asked. She was shaking.
"Well because…I…um…"
Her voice trembled, but not in the same way it had earlier. This was not fear I heard in her voice. It was something distinctly different, almost unimaginably sweet. I moved my hold on her hand, shifting my finger up her arm just the slightest bit. I heard her heart jump in her chest. It was pounding at nearly double its normal time. I could feel her pulse at her wrist under my fingers. If just moving my hand had caused such an effect, what would happen if…
I inched closer to her. She inhaled suddenly. Her breath was erratic and shallow. It was amazing that just moving could make her react in such a way.
"So it is embarrassing because," I began for her. She blinked at me, as though she hadn't heard my words. Then she stuttered again, not making much sense. My fingers nimbly caressed the skin of her inner arm, relishing the warmth and softness of her skin.
"B-because I uh…I mean you were…and I," she mumbled. I laughed quietly. But then I sighed; it was not fair to play around with her this way. So I removed my hand, letting go of her arm. A strange expression crossed her face; she looked disappointed—and angry.
"Hey that is not fair!" she claimed, finally realizing what I had been doing.
"Don't worry Bella, none of your secrets were revealed," I said calmingly. Her brow still furrowed.
"But you got me to tell you! I didn't want to but…it was like I had no control," she claimed, her eyes accusing me of wrongdoing.
"Perhaps, but I didn't hear the most important part," I told her, rising from the edge of the bed, giving her space where I thought she wanted it. But she moved to stand as well. Only at the last minute did she remember her injured hand and sat back down, keeping it covered.
"What is the most important part?" she asked, as though she couldn't remember what I had asked her. Perhaps she couldn't. Had I really dazzled her so?
"Why did you find that embarrassing? You were half asleep. If a cold body was beside yours I would understand why you would assume…it was mine," I finished reluctantly. Now I was embarrassed. Because I wanted so badly to do what she thought I had. The warmth and smell of her skin was enchanting in the most evocative way. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would taste like.
"Because I…wanted it to be you," she confessed. I couldn't believe the words had just come out of her mouth. She avoided my eyes, keeping them locked on the hand that was above the covers. She was smoothing the blanket, trying to rid it of the pleats she had created in her sleep.
"Excuse me?" I didn't mean to sound so shocked, but couldn't help it. I didn't believe it. I honestly didn't think I had heard her correctly.
"Don't make me say that again. You heard me."
This time she did look at me, her eyes filled with fear of what she was sure was going to be impending rejection. How could she ever think I would reject her? Put aside her unmistakable beauty—though it was hard to do—and you were still left with something magnificent. Her strength, courage, acceptance. Her laugh, her smile, her blush, the way she bit her lip when she was nervous or excited. Did she truly not see the wondrous creature she was?
I had asked myself over and over during the afternoon hours while we spoke what it was that captivated me so. What did she have that rendered me helpless? There was no single answer. I couldn't pin point what she did that made me feel so vulnerable around her. But there was something. An unambiguous Bella-ness.
"Oh Isabella," I said, using her full name for the first time since she told me she preferred Bella. Moments like this required such things. My want for her was one thing. It made it difficult for me to think of changing her, to think of hurting her. But her want for me, so clearly and recently admitted made things more complicated. It was unsafe. If in the end I did not have to change her, where would that leave us? I would want after her, lusting after so much more than a taste of her blood. But to have her wanting after me after I sent her far away would be unforgivable.
"Please don't," she whispered, clearly hurt and embarrassed. I sat back on the edge of the bed and took her tiny little hand in mine. The warmth that one hand sent into my body was unpredictably wonderful. My memory did not do it justice.
"Look at me please," I said softly. Her eyes caught mine and there was that shame in them again. Even though I could see it was hard for her she kept looking at me.
"I don't want you to think that I don't…that I'm not flattered that you…Bella this cannot be, no matter what I want. To put you in such danger on a daily basis would be…inexcusable."
"I wouldn't be―"
"But you would! Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to even be in this room with your hand cut that way? Even that shallow scratch made it almost unbearable. The scent of your blood is so potent Bella. It makes me sick to think that I could ever…that I even want to…"
I sighed, still holding her hand. I wanted her to feel comforted. But the she surprised me.
She pulled her hand out from under mine. She reached out and touched my face again. I was stunned, too stunned to move. Even as her fingers moved over my face—stroking my forehead, my cheek, my nose, my chin—I could do nothing. I wanted so badly to tell her to stop, stop trying to madden me with the feel of her touch. But I also wanted so badly to return the touch. I wanted to feel her warmth under my hands. I wanted to feel the delicate curve of her neck beneath my lips, taste the sweetness of her skin. But that was so wrong.
However, either way, I was powerless as she continued to caress my face. And then her hand moved down, her fingers tracing the contours of my neck and then my arms. She outlined the curve of the muscles of my upper arm, before skimming her hand to my lower arm. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. It was completely surreal.
She took my hand in hers then and placed it against her cheek, inhaling. She dropped her hand and urged me with her eyes to touch her in kind. At first I was hesitant. But she felt so damned good. So I did as she wanted. I brushed her skin with my hands, feeling finally what her skin was like. Warm and soft and wonderful. I was staring into her perfect eyes, and though I didn't see it, I felt it when she blushed, the skin under my fingers growing even hotter than before. I took longer, wanting to savor the feeling in case I never got to touch her this way again, even though I wanted to. She was still trembling beneath my fingers and I was already thinking about doing this again!
Her heart was beating in that steady double time just like before. She was breathing haphazardly through her mouth, sending whiffs of fragrance into the air. I took a chance and traced her lips with two of my fingers. I almost recoiled when she pressed them against my fingers, a single gossamer kiss. She looked as shocked with herself as I was. I pulled my hands to her shoulders, holding her in place while I simply looked at her. The perfection staring me in the face—quite literally in fact—was unbelievable. And she had just kissed me.
I wanted so badly to feel her lips on mine. But I couldn't. I just couldn't. What if I lost control? What if I hurt her? What if it ruined everything?
But she was so tempting. The look in her eyes was so trusting, so open. She sighed.
"Please Edward," she begged. "Just once."
That was all it took. For all my hard earned self-restraint all she had to do was plead with me, her voice low and insistent. I bit my lip, mirroring one of her many mannerisms I was becoming familiar with. Then I breathed out a sigh of my own. Fine. One kiss, just one. No more.
I leaned forward slowly, pausing just before I met her lips. Could I do this? Could I keep myself in line? She breathed out and I shuddered in desire—for her blood, for this impending kiss, for so many other things I never should have wanted. Then I lowered my lips to hers, the moment of truth.
Her reaction was unimaginable and unpredicted.
She was suddenly so there. She pushed herself forward, pressing her body roughly against mine. Her fingers twisted in my hair, securing her face to mine. I wanted her so much, but then her hand—the cut one—came out from under the blanket. Her blood, dried as it was and no longer pouring from the wound, assaulted my senses. I pulled myself away from her violently.
She was breathing in rapid gulping breaths, trying to steady her breathing as I tried not to pounce on her. I clenched my hands into fists, gritting my teeth. She quickly hid her hand under the covers again but it was no use. Her blood had been open and so close to me. The scent was not fading fast enough. I went over to the window, pulling in giant gasps of night air. The fresh air was refreshing and it knocked the blood lust from me. I was able to go back to her, sitting as I had o the edge of the bed.
"I am sorry Edward, I don't…I don't know what got into me," she said. She was embarrassed again.
"It is perfectly fine Bella, I just…do you understand why I said this can't be?"
She shook her head.
"What do you mean no?" I asked. My voice was a little harsher than I intended it to be. She didn't flinch.
"I was out of line and I apologize for that. But I wont always have open wounds Edward."
"But you're human Bella," I insisted.
"What is your point?" she asked. I was truly incredulous. Had I not just frightened her? I had been suddenly ravenous, wanting her blood more than anything else on the planet, including her kisses and gentle touch. She didn't seem to understand how dangerous I was for her. My very presence should be warning her of peril, but she seemed unaffected by it. Well not unaffected—her blush and erratic heartbeat had shown she clearly was affected—but she either did not heed the warnings her body was sending her, that or she was not even receiving them.
"I promise to behave myself," she said quietly. I looked into her eyes, warm with affection.
"I believe you Bella. But I don't know if I can make the same promise. I want to be able to, I want so badly to say I would never be overcome with thirst or lust for your blood, but I know I can't say that honestly."
I was ashamed of my needs then, feeling the full weight of this unbalanced pairing. She was so much more than I was, than I could ever be. She was biting her lip, lost in her thoughts for a long moment. I held back the urge to ask her what she was thinking.
"Do you promise to try?"
"I am not taking that kind of risk."
"Then I will do it for you," she said. She then moved so she was closer to me. Her wounded hand stayed covered but she slowly inched toward me. All of my strength was gone. I was nothing. I was powerless, weak. She crawled closer until her forehead was against mine. I wasn't breathing, afraid to draw in her scent, to invite the hunger back into a moment that belonged solely to the needs of a different part of me.
"I thought you said just once," I whispered as she stared into my eyes.
"I lied," she whispered back. Her lips touched mine once more, soft and perfectly in control. My hand slipped around the back of her neck, holding her close. I wanted so badly to deepen the kiss, give in to the passion that was pent up in my stomach. But I couldn't. I didn't know what would happen if she ingested the venom that was slowly pooling in my mouth, but I didn't to find out. After a long moment she pulled away, breathing heavily.
"See? I told you I would behave. And you did too. No problems," she murmured, pressing her hand to the spot on her neck where she would be able to feel her pulse. I didn't need to even touch her to know it was racing incredibly fast. She was excited, as I was. I licked my lips, relishing the taste of her. It was incredibly sweet as I knew it would be.
"Edward I―
But then there was a knock on the door. I didn't bother to find out whose thoughts they were before going to the door and opening it.
"Edward!" a chorus of voices called, each voice distinct and just as I remembered them. My family. They were here.
Thank God.
AN: so depending on how much time I have tonight I may or may not add another chapter. I am pretty sure I will MAKE time...