AN: So number one: thank you all for the tremendous amount of support. Its wonderful to hear…or well see your opinions. And number two; forgive the grossness and morbidity here. I didn't expect to get so involved in the details of the change but it sort of…got me. I had to go through it. Hope it's not too horrific.

Nothing, nothing, in the world would ever compare.

Bella's gasp of pain barely registered as I took mouthful after mouthful of her blood. The wonderful liquid tasted like nothing before. It was warm and sweet and wonderful, ambrosial and addicting. I bore down in her harder, trying to take it faster, desperate for the taste of it as it rushed into my mouth. Her heartbeat slowed. Eventually I realized that she was coming close to the end of her blood supply. So with reluctance beyond measuring I stopped swallowing and pushed the venom that had pooled in my mouth back into her blood stream.

She hadn't been struggling beneath me as I drank from her, but when the venom hit her, she began to squirm. I sat up, my knees still resting on either side of her watching as realization came over her face. The pain was going to set in any moment. I pulled myself off of her, licking my lips in grim satisfaction, as the last tastes of her left my mouth. I had refrained from drinking human blood for so long, instead satiating my cravings with the blood of other animals. I had been in practice for almost a century. But I knew nothing in that time had ever come close to being as hauntingly wonderful as her blood had been. Nothing ever would again—no blood from any animal or human could ever come close to comparing to the flavor of her life in my mouth.

It sickened me to know that given the chance to drink from her again, I would have done it.

I wiped my face with the back of my hand, wanting to make sure that when I went to her, her blood was off of me. I licked the remnants, savoring the last little tastes. Then I knelt by the bed, looking into her eyes. I waited for a long moment. And then she screamed.

The sound of it nearly shattered me. The pain she was feeling was like nothing else. Not even Jane's torture compared to how badly this hurt. I watched as she clenched her eyes closed along with her fists, trying to ride it out. She had three days of agony to endure; there would be no riding it out.

She began to cry, as the screaming grew quieter. How did she manage not to shout in anguish? The tears came down her cheeks in waves, wetting the hair at the base of her neck. She was trembling all over. She shook once rather violently as I sat on the bed beside her. I laid my hand across her forehead, trying to soothe her. But she tore away from my touch, turning so her back was to me. She screamed again in pain, her voice filling the room with sounds of agony. She began to sob loudly, each breath sounding like she was tearing a whole in her chest. Her fingers were wrapped around the blankets, holding them tightly.

I wanted this to be over. I wanted her to stop feeling the pain, the wretched torment that held her body at the moment. But it was not over. And it would not be over for some time. Three days, and it had only just begun.

I got up from the bed and went to Carlisle. I stood with him, my back to Bella. I couldn't watch this. I couldn't see her like this. To hear her cries were enough. To know that she was hurting and there was nothing I could do to save her was more than I could take.

"There is nothing we can do?" I asked Carlisle. I focused on his face, and then Emmett's willing not to concentrate on the shrieking behind me. Carlisle shook his head.

"Just be with her, stay near her. It might help a little to give her a cold shower, but other than that, no."

I nodded.

"You can…go if you want. I know this is hard to hear," I mumbled.

We are going hunting. I will check in as soon as we get back.

I let Carlisle and Emmett go. Then I turned and looked at Bella again. Her body was shaking all over. She was whimpering now, her voice soft and dismal. I went to her again, and this time when I touched her, she didn't move away. In fact she turned eagerly into my touch. I wondered if the cold of my touch soothed the burning of her flesh at all. I hoped it did.

"Bella," I said gently. I had no idea if she could even hear me, let alone if the words would mean anything to her now. It might have sounded like incoherent mumbles when I spoke her name.

But she opened her eyes, which had still been clenched shut, and looked at me. There was pain in those eyes, suffering more pronounced and terrible than I thought I could stand. But there was also recognition. She knew my face, knew who I was. She opened her mouth to speak, only to reward me with another dreadful scream.

"Shh," I said, trying to be comforting. "Don't talk. Its okay, I'm right here."

I touched her face again, cupping both her cheeks in my hands. The heat off her skin was like fire now, no longer the warm burn I loved but a raging blaze out of control. She didn't struggle under my touch. She clenched her jaw, breathing heavily, trying to keep the yelps of pain inside. I wanted to tell her to scream as much as she wanted. But I knew the sound of it would drive me mad if she did. I felt her whole body tense, and then shake uncontrollably for almost a minute. Then she slacked, gasping for air. She had been trying to hold her breath the whole time.

But then she opened her eyes again and the misery lessened. She opened her mouth again and this time she whispered to me.

"Edward," she said very quietly.

"Yes love?"

"…Me," she whispered.

"What was that?" I inquired.

"Touch…me…cold…you're cold," she choked out. Another wave of pain crashed through her and she clenched her hands around the comforter again. I obliged her as quickly as I could. Careful to be as gentle as possible so not to hurt her already aching flesh I did as she asked. I skimmed my hands across her arms, her shaking shoulders, her neck, her sweating tear-streaked face. A few times she gripped my hands in hers, clutching them as tightly as she was able to. It helped when the worst of the pain came to have something to hold on to.

The day passed agonizingly slow. I stayed by her side, hushing her, comforting her, being as close to her as was possible some times I just needed to leave for a moment, clear my head of the still present smell of blood around me and the look of torture on her perfect face.

The night brought the worst of it. For what felt like hours she did nothing but cry out, screaming so loud sometimes I was sure she would shatter the windows. And her body did nothing but shake. She was trying so hard to keep it in, trying to stop it from taking her over. And she kept crying. When she wasn't shrieking in pain she was sobbing uncontrollably. She tried to talk to me again a few times, but only ever managed to say my name before being taken over by miserable wails.

When the sun rose I finally decided to do what Carlisle suggested and give her a cold shower. I told her what I was doing as I left her side for a moment to turn on the cold water. When I retuned to her she was trying to sit up.

"Let me help you," I said quietly, pulling her gently upright. Her body rested against mine, perhaps taking comfort at the icy feeling of my skin. It occurred to me then that she was going to have to remove her clothing to get in a shower. I shuddered. I couldn't think about her that way. Not right now. It was dangerous and wrong, more wrong than thinking about her that way before she was in brutal agony.

But how could I refuse her this if it was a respite from pain? I couldn't very well take my wants into consideration now. She needed to be comforted, soothed. If this was the only way to do it, then I would.

So her clothes came of, save her undergarments. Seeing her with those still on was hard enough. And even as I carried her into the shower and placed her in it, I felt I was doing something wrong. I wasn't. I was helping her. If Alice or Esme had been here I would have asked one of them to take care of this particular task, but they weren't. And I wanted to help her. I wanted to make her feel what little relief I could.

The water was running cold, as cold as I could get it. I lowered her body into the tub and watched as her face became relaxed as the water hit her, well, as relaxed as could be expected. The quaver of her body seemed to lessen as the coolness pelted her. I told her I was leaving, and then went, but only for a moment.

The sheets were drenched in her sweat and there was blood on them. I went out in the hall and searched for an underling. When I found one I told him I needed new bed sheets. The underling grinned, thinking there was only one thing I could be doing to need new bed sheets. And then he remembered that I was the vampire with a human in his room. Before I could hit him for his intensely inappropriate thoughts he scurried off. I returned to my room, to Bella.

I heard her quiet whimpers from the bathroom. She wasn't shaking or cry, just giving out little moans every now and then. I knelt by the tub, touching her face with the backs of my fingers. She smiled. I didn't know it was possible to smile while changing, to feel good enough to even remember how to smile, let alone actually want to do it.

"Is this helping? The water?" I asked. She nodded.

"Cold…feels good. And you…you're here…that helps,' she whispered. Her eyes remained closed against the water that was hitting her body. I was surprised again that she was able to form coherent thoughts and voice them. I heard a knock on my door. It was the underling with new bed things. I called for him to come in. He remade the bed with new things while I sat with Bella in the shower, cold water pouring over her. It was helping she said. And so was I

After almost an hour I heard another tap at my door. Alice. I breathed a sigh of relief. If she was here I could get Bella out of the shower and not worry about how in God's name I was going to get her out of the wet clothes she had on without feeling like I was violating her.

"Edward," she said from behind me. I laid a brief and gentle kiss on Bella's forehead and then got up. Alice was standing near the bed, her hands twisted together.

"How is she?"

"The cold shower thing seems to be helping her. She says the cold feels good, well I guess good isn't the right word. Perhaps it feels not bad, would work out better."

"You got her in there all by yourself?" she asked suddenly, as if not being able to believe I could claim to have done such a thing. But she had every right to sound surprised. To even think that I would undress someone, even to help them, was not something she would have predicted, visions or no visions. Even thinking about Bella that way made me a bit uncomfortable. She wasn't something to be lusted after. She was something to be admired, praised, loved and cherished. She wasn't an object. She wasn't just a body. It was improper to even think of her that way.

"Yes I did. And now I would be very grateful if you would get her out. Get her dressed. Please," I said quietly.

"Of course. Oh, Carlisle is outside he wants to talk to you. I'll be done when you get back," she said walked past me into the bathroom.

"Alice, be careful with her," I said, watching her carefully.

She nodded and then closed the door behind her.

Carlisle was waiting for me in the hall. We looked at each other for a very long moment.

"How is she?" he asked.

"In pain. But I tried giving her a cold shower like you suggested and she said it helped. It's just so hard. Every time I hear her scream it makes me want to…" Die. It made me want to die.

"I know. It's almost unbearable. I felt the same changing Esme. Watching her suffer was the most heart wrenching experience of my existence. But now…in time you will forget the pain in her voice and on her face and only remember your happiness."

"But two more days, Carlisle? I don't know if…I mean never has two days seemed so long to me."

"I know Edward. I know. Just do what you have been doing, stay with her, keep her company. She needs you more now than ever. Don't forget that," he said. I nodded.

Go back to her. Call for me if you need me.

I went back into my room and Bella was lying on the bed again, fully clothed. Alice was talking to her quietly, telling her how much fun they were going to have once she was finally changed. She said she couldn't wait to take her new sister shopping. New sister. She already thought if her as part of the family.

If you love her, I love her. Alice's thoughts came to me gently as she continued to talk to Bella. She seemed soothed by Alice's talking, the constant flow of her words washing over her, giving her something to focus on. Alice backed away then, giving Bella a chance to see me. She would have smiled again, but the pain was coming back to her now, full and intense. She was stiff with it, her muscles rigid. She as trying so hard to keep it in. But why?

I sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her pained face. She lifted her hand weakly and then patted the bed beside her. She wanted me next to her. I lay down, pressing my body against hers. The coolness was soothing.

"Does this feel okay?" I asked softly, regarding the proximity of my body next to hers. She took a moment to answer me, trying to suffer through a moment of pain with her jaw clenched. When she finally drew a breath again she nodded.

"Always better…when you…hold me," she murmured. Her voice sounded so strained. It was probably hard for her to talk. I shouldn't have been asking her to in the first place. So I talked to her instead. I told her all sorts of things—places I had been, people I had met, places I still wanted to go, where I could take once this was over. I told her all the wonderful things I could show her, thing I would show her. Because this was too much to simply have her be held here. She was not going to suffer to be denied the rights she had to a life. I would beg if I needed to. I wasn't one to let my pride take a fall, but for her, I would do it. I would do anything.

I hadn't realized how long it had been. I had been talking for hours. The sun had set. Her body was quaking more ferociously now, the shaking only ceasing for a moment, perhaps two before returning. The nights always seemed bad for her.

When the screaming started it pulled my heart in two. The figurative one, obviously. She was shaking and crying and screaming so loud. The day had been bad but bearable. This was undeniably horrific. And then someone knocked. It was Demitri. I got up off the bed, hoping that the burning of her skin would not miss my coolness too much before I returned. I opened the door and let him in reluctantly. I didn't want to be anywhere but with her.

"I thought this was happening. I heard her screams. How much longer does she have?"

"Tonight and all of tomorrow," I replied. My voice sounded hollow. Her cries of pain were worse now, and louder. I cringed at each one. Demitri nodded at my explanation and then looked over to Bella, who was currently thrashing in pain. I clenched my fists. I wanted this to stop, right now.

"Aro would like a word. He knows what is happening. And of course he has an opinion on the subject."

Of course he did. So I went to Carlisle and told him to watch over Bella while I went to speak with Aro. Demitri and I walked in silence to Aro's chambers.

"I will let you speak in private. Edward, may I ask you why you are troubling yourself over this girl? Obviously she will be one of us soon enough, but she was human. And you made such a fuss about her. I don't understand."

Of course he didn't. He didn't love anyone.

"I wish I could explain it to you. I wish it would make sense. Unfortunately, as I have found, it will not."

Demitri studied me for a moment, and then walked away. I went into Aro's chambers and found him sitting expectantly. His eyes were curiously blank. So was his mind. He was blocking me out. Fine.

"Bella is changing as we speak, is she not?" he asked his voice was calm, collected. I didn't like it. I nodded.

"You decided in the end not to let her keep her humanity. Interesting choice. I thought for sure you would leave her human."

"I couldn't it was too dangerous. After what happened with Felix...how could I leave her open to be harmed?" I asked. Aro nodded appreciatively. He then motioned for me to take a seat in a chair near him. I did as I was bade and waited for whatever was coming. He wouldn't close his mind off to me for no reason.

"She is special. You have always known this. We don't know yet what she will be capable of once she is a vampire. But I do know that I am interested. Very interested in fact."

"No disrespect, Aro I assure you, but every moment we waste with trivial conversation Bella is in pain and without me. I would very much like to get back to her," I muttered, trying to sound respectful.

"Of course, Edward I understand completely. I just thought you should know that once Bella is feeling well enough we will need to have another little chat as to her position with us here."

I stiffened. Another conversation. About her. Staying here. Well that certainly wasn't going to happen. I would steal her away if I had to, but she was going to live however the hell she wanted to, and if that mean I had to anger every single member of the Volturi to give her life to her, I would do it. But I nodded to Aro and then turned sharply on my heel. I would not be able to control my anger if I stayed much longer.

Before I even got to my floor I heard her. I cringed again, wondering what pain she had been forced to endure alone while I was gone. I knew Carlisle was right there beside her, but he wouldn't touch her, soothe her, like I did. She had said it was always better when I held her. I hoped my touch could pacify her now. I doubted it though.

When I got to my room she had stopped screaming for the moment, but she was crying. The sobs were loud and tearing, like she was ripping instead of crying.

"She has been screaming for you. It's the only word she says," Carlisle said from one of the chairs. I went to her while Carlisle slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I touched her face, her arms, her stomach, trying to ease the burning in her body with my icy flesh.

"I'm here, love, I'm here," I said. She turned her body with the little strength she had, pressing herself to me. She was shaking and crying. I held her through the night and prayed that the next day would pass quickly.

For the next day and night I held her shaking, squirming, shrieking form as close to me as I could. She thrashed against my body, trying to keep the pain from holding her in a stupor. I was waiting for the hour to finally come when this would all end. I had changed her at nine o'clock in the morning. So exactly three days later, as the clock went to nine, her body's shaking halted suddenly. For almost a minute she drew no breath. And then suddenly, she inhaled sharply.

I looked at her, willing her to open her eyes, wanting confirmation that it was finally over.

Then she opened them and stared back into mine. Her irises were a dark black, betraying the hunger that would get to her soon enough.

But then she smiled. And said the one word that had sealed her fate days before without even knowing it.

"Edward."