CHPATER: The Two Lives

"It's a letter, from your mum, don't you want to read it?"

The answer was no, the answer was always no. That must have been the fifth letter she sent to him and it was the fifth letter than he absolutely refused to open. Lily had been using all sort of tactics to try to get him read them but he would not yield. She took the letter and dangled in front of his face. He tried his best to focus on the Potions essay in front of him. "Lily please."

"Severus, she's your mother." She pleaded.

"Well maybe you should try telling her that." The truth was he did want to read the letter. He was desperate to know if she was okay or not but he couldn't on principle. For all his life he had always come second to his father, he wasn't going to take it anymore. It would always be the same thing. Every time his father came home drunk and decided to take out his frustration on them she would always defend him. Whenever he retaliated he was always wrong for doing it. 'Severus you took advantage of him' she said once. But up to this day he couldn't understand how a frightened eight year old could possibly take advantage of grown man with a strong right arm. No, there was no way he could forgive her again, he had enough.

"I'm going to read it," she said firmly.

"Do what you want I just don't want to hear a word of that trash.

"I'm serious," she threatened.

"So am I," he replied.

After a pause he could hear the sound of her tearing open the letter. He made an automatic attempt to shut anything that she might say out. She was reading aloud.

Dear Severus,

I don't know if you have received my other letters but I hope this one finds you safe. You father passed yesterday afternoon at St. Mary's hospital. He was wake for the last hour, he was asking after you Severus.

I can't write long because I'm making plans for the service. I hope to see you home soon.

His heart had stopped for a moment and he was certain that he felt it sink but just as quickly he recognised it for what it was. "She's trying to get me to come home," he said.

Lily looked at him and shook her head. "Aren't you even concerned," she asked.

He looked up at her form his old copy of Advanced Potion Making. "What do you want to say?"

She shrugged. "Something, aren't you worried that it might me true."

"Not really," That was a lie.

She looked at him for a moment he wasn't sure if it was fear but he definitely saw something in her eyes that he didn't like. She folded the letter and rested it on the counter. "I'm going to make a cup of tea," she said and floated out the door.

-o-

After about half and hour he had decided that his indifference must have scared her. She hadn't return to her bedroom. Instead she stayed downstairs, which was odd because they never wasted a single second they had unsupervised together by being apart.

He walked down the stairs and found she was in the living room watching The Good Life. He walked over to the long sofa and took a seat and put her legs in his lap. "I thought you hated this show."

"I do," she replied.

"Then why are you watching it?" he asked looking at her.

Her eyes were still fixed on the TV. "Because there's nothing else on the tele."

"Then why didn't you come upstairs?" he asked softly. She said nothing; she just kept looking at the Tv. The very last thing he wanted to do was jeopardize his relationship with her. He had already decided to cut ties with his mother so if he didn't have Lily anymore he would have no one left. "I'll write her back but I'm not going to that house." A small smile crept on her face which told him they were okay once again. She sat up, sitting in his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She leaned in and kissed him softly on his lips. His hands began to travel up her back.

"She's coming here."

"What?" he asked, his hands still touching her bare skin.

"She wrote me on the day of my birthday. She's coming here."

"Here," he asked.

"Yes, she really wants to see you Severus. I know you won't go to her so..."

"Why didn't you ask me?" he shouted.

"Because I knew you would have said no."

He got up, almost sending her landing on the floor. "You had no right to do that?"

"What do you mean?" she said, now angry too.

"It's none of your business."

She put her hands on her hips. "None of my business you say. How can you expect me to be your girlfriend and not care about what goes on in your life."

"My home life and this life are separate." He said frustrated. Thinking about it he always saw his home life like a virus, if it came in contact with anything it destroy it.

"You have one life Severus," she said walking over to him. "I am part of it and your mother is part of it, you can't separate the two."

He was going tell her that he wished he could but the words never left his mouth. They were interrupted by petunia barging in the front door.

Petunia slammed the door shut and walked in the living room. Her face was tear streaked her make up smudged and her hair in a mess. "What happened to you?" Lily asked looking at her.

She looked at Lily and let out a loud sob that was mixed with words. "Connersaidhedon'tloevemeandonlysleptwithmetogetbackatmeforcallinghimnames."

"What?" Lily asked taking petunia's hand and sitting her down on the couch.

Lily didn't understand what she was saying but Severus understood every word. "Conner said that he doesn't love her and only slept with her to get back at her for calling him names."

Lily looked at him and then to Petunia for conformation. She nodded. "What, how could he?" she said looking outraged. "I can't believe him."

Severus was itching to say 'I told you so' but he resisted the urge. Instead he went back up the stairs leaving the girls alone. He was expecting Lily to join him in about an hour but instead she crept in the bed next to him about after two in the morning. "She's finally asleep," she said.

"You know if she had listened to me this would not have happened," he said.

She didn't say anything but he knew that she knew he was speaking the truth. "Severus?" she whispered. "How do I know that you're not doing to me what Conner did to Petunia?"

"Why would I do that?" he whispered back and took hold of her hand. "You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I... love you."

She reached over to him and wrapped her hands around his waist and kissed him. It was a deep passionate kiss and suddenly he knew what was happening and the idea of arguing further about his mother seemed not only silly but unthinkable.

-o-

"Mrs. Snape can I get you some tea." Lily asked.

"Yes," his mother replied. "I came a long way."

Lily nodded and went off into the kitchen. The day before Lily had made a cake and a couple of pastries in anticipation of his mother arriving. She was so nervous that she kept getting egg shells in the whites. He assured her that all the fuss was not necessary. This only seemed to make her even more nervous. She was hardly there for the next two days.

His mother sat opposite him wearing a black long dress and a long small black hat with vulture on it. She looked like she fished it out of her grandmother's closet. "Severus you must come home with me," she said right away.

"I'm not coming home with you mother. I'm surprised he even let you leave the house."

She looked at him and tears began to form in her eyes. "Didn't you get my letters Severus?"

"I didn't read them. I threw them away."

She cried a loud sob and got up and walked over and sat down on the love seat next to him. "Severus dear, I wrote you. I told you that he was in an accident." And just as she said it he knew it was true, his father was dead. He always could tell when someone was lying to him. He didn't say anything, he let her continue speaking. "He wondered into the road. The driver didn't see him coming. He was in the hospital for two weeks Severus." She cried and grasped onto his hands. "I know you think he didn't love you, but he asked after you. The whole time he was awake he was asking for you."

The only thing that moved his heart was seeing his mother cry but he couldn't say that he was slightly impressed with the story of his father wanting to see him. He had sixteen years of chances to see him and he never wanted to. He was not moved my some old fool last attempt to make it good with a god he largely ignored by showing false affection for a son he treated with a similar disregard. No, he was not sorry to hear about his father.

"Don't you see why you must come home? You have to speak for him."

He let go of her hands. "If I speak for him mother it would not me kind words. I will not pretend that he was something he was not."

She cried out loud. "Please Severus; his friends from work will be there. Do you want to ruin the memory of your father?"

He took her had and looked at her. "That's why I'm not coming with you. Tell everyone them what ever you like but I will not have a part in it."

Lily came in carrying a cup of tea and small dinner plate of desserts. She stopped and looked at looked at them. "Should I let you sit alone?"

Severus got up. "No my mother was just saying she had to leave. Isn't that right mother?"

She got up and wiped the tears away from her face. His heart broke for her but he felt more hate for his father than he felt love for her at the moment. She looked at Lily and smiled. "Thank you Lily, you really are a fine young woman, so pretty too. I can see why he likes you so much"

"Thanks," Lily mumbled. "But won't you stay for tea."

She shook her head. "No, I must really be going." She walked pass Lily and to the door. "Good bye Severus, I hope to see you sometime soon."

"I'll try," he said.

And with that she was out the door. He didn't stay in the living room for long. He was up in the bedroom as soon as door closed behind her. Lily didn't join him and he sensed that she knew that he wanted to be alone. He sat on the bed for almost an hour, thinking about what had transpired between him and his mother, he thought about what she had told and how she cried and for the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to cry.

NOTE: I'm sorry I couldn't be more descriptive with this but I plan to post it on harrypotterfanfiction and you guys know how the rating system is there.

I just realised that I don't have an ending planned for this story. I shall see what I come up with for the next chapter.

Anyway. I hope you liked this one and thanks for the reviews of the last chapter.