Emmett-Sitter!
(((I do not own Twilight…. BUT I CAN DREAM)))
I know I can do this. I just can't go too fast. If I go too fast, then I will end up running into the lockers, leaving an Emmett sized dent in them, and that would mean that I'm busted. I really don't want to get busted. That would not be fun, not one little bit.
If I do get busted, who will be my babysitter? (Not that I am going to get busted or anything like that!) Surly not one of my family members because they all live 'lives' that they want to keep. Well how am I suppose to get a 'life' if I a babysitter? Babysitters are for babies. I am NOT a baby. No, I need an… an… EMMETT-SITTER. Yes that's it. If I have to get one I am calling it an Emmett-sitter. I am not a baby so I do not need someone who sits babies, I would need some one who sits Emmett, because that is what I am, an Emmett. There, now that that's settled, I will proceed to enter the girl's locker room instead of explaining to my imaginary friends why I call the babysitter I am NOT getting an Emmett-sitter.
All right, here I go. Close my eyes, take a step into the unknown. And another. And another. And 'OW', I ran into something. I think it is a locker, IT SMELLS LIKE ROSE IN HERE! Ah, sweet, sweet Rose. I know I can't stay here long but, but it smells so good. I think I smell Alice and Bella in here too… AH bad pictures! They burn; they burn my mind! I need to get out of here! I think I can open my eyes now and not be tempted to stay all night. Oh, The door. I can see the door! I must get to the door for the sake of my mission!
SUCSESS! Ok now how to get to our regular, everyday, nothing special lockers from here… Let's see you go up the stairs to the gym, and then you leave the gym and go to that hallway place. You go down the hallway place and take a right to another hallway place. AND here we are: the Cullen family lockers. All rightly then, I just have to make it look like a puny, little, teenage guy's handwriting. This might be a bit hard, seeing as I am not puny, but I am vampire-strong. And I am not little I am… dun, dun, dun: Massive. And I am really about seventy, even if my family thinks I act like seven. In no way shape or form is being sophisticated fun. At lest, it is not in my opinion. Yeah, sure most people think that I am dumb, BUT I'M NOT. I just don't try to act smart. It is too dull. So I ACT dumb. Gives live a bit of a flare, and Edward plays along, most of the time.
I see our lockers!!! Now time to get out my handy dandy PINK SPRAY PAINT. And write in I-am-a-wimp letters "T-h-e C-u-l-l-e-n K-i-d-s S-u-c-k" yes, now for the icing on the cake. "L-o-v-e-, M-i-k-e N-e-w-t-o-n" HA, HA, people will be laughing at him for years. Even if my family finds out that I did it, the kids at school wont know!!
Ok now to sneak out the way I came, and then I need to actually hunt so that my eyes are lighter and the smell of woods cover up the smell of this horrible place. I will prevail!!!
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Okay, now that hunting is over, I am going to go back home. Plop in front of my beautiful, expensive, foreign television. And I am going to play every single one of my Wii games, and then, when I am done, it should be time to get ready for school.
Wow, I really do have a lot of games. Well I need to get ready, I can't wear these clothes, not only did I wear them yesterday; I went hunting in them. So I wear them today, Rose and Alice will kill me, and quiet frankly I do not feel like dieing today, or any day for that mater. So, now off to change into whatever Rose picked out for me today. Which is: a 'Rolling Stones' tee shirt, blue jeans, and running shoes. Wow, it is not as flash as it can be sometimes… I wonder why.
"Hey, Emmett, do you what to go to the park with me after school?"
"Yeah, sure Rose," oh that's why she choose comfier clothes, so I can lean against a tree and she can use me as a pillow. Button up shirts aren't good for lunging around like that, the buttons pop off to often. I wonder which park it will be this time. I hope it is not the same one as last time, there where squirrels attacking me there. I ONLY TOOK ONE NUT.
"Okay, we are going to the one that is in the northwestern corner of the state in case you where wondering. I don't think squirrels are as forgiving as the ducks, and the ducks are still holding a grudge for the whole throwing-them-to-make-them-fly garbage you pull the time before last. And we have yet to visit/disturb-the-wildlife-in this park yet. And I want you to be one your best behavior, if you are we might stop on the way home and get some irritable grizzle bears, got it?"
"Yes, yes, yes. Can we please get some mad grizzle bears? Please, please, please?" I love grizzle bears, even more so when they are angered. I have to go!!! That kind of sounds like I have to go to the potty room, which I do not need to do, I can't do it either.
"We'll see. You just have to be good till then." Be good? What are the meaning of these words of which she speaks? I will look it up in English. Then I will be, as she says, Good.
I almost forgot about my little prank. It doesn't seem to bother any of them. Probably because they think Mike did it, so it is not their problem to deal with.
I wonder what Mike's friends think of him now. Seeing as they think he put "Love, Mike Newton" on our lockers. I guess I will have to wait till lunch.
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Okay, I am in English. It is time to figure out what "be good" means. To the dictionary!!! Hmm, okay got to flip through the pages to find "be." Ok now "be" means "To exist in a certain manner or relation." Now that, that is settled, time to find out what "good" means. "Good" means "serviceable; useful; fit; excellent; admirable." So in order to be good, I have to exist in a useful manor.
What would Rose find useful?
I can clean, wax, and polish her car, and I can actually do a good job at it this time. Not like last time when I decided it would be cooler if I waxed and polished my abs. She liked my shinny abs, but she had to do the car herself. She didn't like that too much.
Oh, I can carry her Books! Rose will like the attention! Now I have just got to find her. What does she have second? Oh yeah, history! Let's see this way, now that way, and there she blows!
"Hey, Rose! Why don't I get those for you?"
"Emmett, are you trying to butter me up so you get your treat?" I just look away and start whistling, the all-too-innocent pose. She just sakes her head and leads the way, "just don't drop anything or run into anyone," she calls over her beautiful shoulder. I have really got to stop thinking like that.
"I wont, I swear," even if my fingers are crossed!
We made our way to her classroom, and I manage NOT to bump into anyone on the way. The lead me to her desk, and I put her things down. After I plopped them down, I stayed. I had just decided I wanted I little treat for that, "So, Do I get a little treat?"
"Of course you do, honey!" She gave me a peck on the lips before the teacher came in.
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It's lunch now, and Edward is giving my weird looks. Bella notices this and asks, "Edward, why are you staring at Emmett like that? What did he do this time?" Way to have faith in me, Bells! Edward snickers a little, but before she notices he replies.
"Newton doesn't know anything about the pink words on our lockers. He didn't see or hear anything about it till he got to school today. And he keeps on thinking about how if he where to do it, he wouldn't put his name, much less 'love.'" By the time he finish everyone at our table was looking at me like I did something wrong, which I did.
I guess this means no grizzle bears, and I was looking forward to that! Now Rose picked out comfy clothes for nothing! And I still want my grizzle bear! I think I am going to cry!!! But I can't so it is pointless to think that way; it's not going to get me anywhere, but maybe to a special, mental institution meant for vampires.
…
WAIT A SECOND THIS ALSO MEANS I HAVE TO HAVE AN EMMETT-SITTER!!!
Why is Edward laughing? Wait here's my chance run, because every one it looking at him! I can HIDE!
On my way out I herd Edward say, "Emmett thought 'wait a second this also means I have to have an Emmett-sitter,'" My whole family started laughing, and I was already out the door.
Now where do I go to hide?
(((So, are they going to find Emmett? If they do, who is going to 'Emmett-sit' him?)))