(((So I asked Mrs. Meyer if I could own the rights to twilight and New Moon in my dreams, AND SHE SAID YES. But then I woke up and I didn't own them anymore, so I cried.)))(((You can thank Mashi twilight for the hiding place!!! And there is cursing in here… which I am usually against but it sometimes helps get the point across.)))
Okay, so I need to hide before my siblings notice that I am not there anymore… so where to hide. Oh, I know! A closet! But whose closet should I choose? Where is the last closet they would check? Think, Emmett, think. I know it hurt's buddy, but you have to do it!
Closet. Think about closets, Emmett. Where would a closet, which I can fit in, be? Think Emmett; I know you can do it!
Man, I should really use my brain more, and then maybe it would be easier.
How about that Newton kid's closet? No, he would let me in there, but then call my sibling to tell them where I was… then I would have to kill the dumb, wimpy kid.
I could try that old abandoned warehouse 'down town.' No, then if Edward found me he would be extra mad seeing as that is the place Bella was almost raped in, before their first date. It was very lucky that he found her in time; things might be different if he was late.
It was a date, even if he just asked her out then so he wouldn't go back and kill those guys. And I am glad he did. He is way less moody now! I bet Jasper likes that.
Now back to the problem at hand! I could go to the Stanley's house. But that girl is a gossip, and she would not stop thinking about me if Edward came by.
How about the supply closet at the grocery store? No, someone might see me, and this is such a small town, they are sure to recognize me, the doctor's son. So that is out.
Hmm. I could hide in my own closet, but that is probably the first place they will check. Maybe Rose's or Alice's… no, I don't want to die today, or tomorrow, or any day for that matter. So that also means no to Edward's closet, too. And I do NOT want to go into Jaspers closet, last time I did that, I got sprayed buy a guard-skunk! And that was not the worse part, the skunk was wearing a camouflage ballerina tutu, had a GI-Jo Riffle super-glued to it's right paw, a lime green eye-patch that said 'I'm a sexy beast,' and had on mini-stilettos in a human-just-threw-me-up green color! I will never go near that door again! Carlisle and Esme's closet is not available for us 'kids' entrance. Not after Alice and Rose tried on all of Esme's clothing. So they put a dead-bolt lock on it and reinforced it with steal, so they couldn't brake in. That means no place a home.
What about school? No, no, no. That is where I do most of my prank type things, they will probably think to check that place as one of the first ones, then the jig would be up, and I am not ready to have an Emmett-sitter quiet yet.
What about the Swan's house? No, if The Chief catches me, then I could give him a heart attack. Then Bells would hate me for causing her father's death. Edward would, also, because I would make Bella sad. A sad Bella means a very mad Edward. He is too over protective over her, if he would just change her, then we could all live happily ever after, for the rest of eternity! If Edward was here, then I would be very much dead for thinking like that. But he is not, so I am still breathing! So that makes me happy!
Now back on track, I need to focus. Why is it that I keep on getting off target so much and on to random rants? What is wrong with me, I really need to find someplace to hide, before my whole family finds out where I am, speaking of which, where am I? I see a stream… I should fallow it… waterways usually lead to civilizations… right?
Hum, hum, hum-ba-dumb. Following a river, just following a river. Doing nothing, but following a river!!!! Because there is nothing to do but follow rivers when you are lost!! Because I AM following a river, just following a river. Nothing to do, but follow this river, all DAY and NIGHT. Because following rivers is cool to do when you are lost!!! R
Singing in your mind is a good way to pass time when you are following rivers in order to find a place to hide. I think I will do it some more!
I am going to hide, where no one can find, because the place I hid will be do good, better than anyone thought I could…
I think I see something up yonder, over the hill!! Maybe I can hide in a closet in that… thing… what is it? I think I will speed up so I can hide faster!
Oh, it's an old cottage, looks lived in, hmm ideas are forming in my head, so are warning, like that I don't know who ever lives here so how am a suppose to trust them, oh well I will go with the first idea that popped into my head: knock on the door to see if they have a closet I can hide in! HERE GOES NOTHING!!!
'Knock, knock, knock.' "Hold on a second, youngin, these ol' bones can only move so fast!" a raspy, old, female voice said from within. Hmm, I wonder if she smokes, it kind of sounds like it, smells like it, too. "Why, hello there, sunny, what can I do for you today? It's not very often I get any type of visitors way up here. Last time I saw someone was at lest 1930." Wow, this lady is OLD.
"Well, you see me and my, uh, friends are, uh, playing… hide-in-seek, but we are only aloud to hide in closets. So I was wondering if you had a closet I could borrow?"
"Oh of course, honey, let me show you where it is," she looked behind me for some reason, but I just let it go because it was probably and age thing, "here you go sweetie, do you want to stay for dinner if your friends don't kind you in time?"
"Oh, no that's fine, I don't want to intrude, I just done want to… loose again. There just aren't enough big closets around here," and I don't want to eat nasty human food, but she doesn't have to know that.
"Oh no, Sugar Plumb. That will not be a problem, seeing as you are going to be dinner," wait, what I'M GOING TO BE THIS OLD LADY'S DINNER!!!!!!! No, I can't be I have to get out of here!!!!!
I start banging on the door. I bang, I hit, and I pound, and I do all those things that when you take them out of context, the sound really perverted, but nothing happens!!! "WHATS WITH THIS DAMNED DOOR, WHY WON'T IT OPEN!!!!!" I scream, I shout, I do lots of other stuff, but then settle on banging my head on the door, and yelp in pain. "Why did that hurt, nothing is supposed to hurt!" I whisper, I got tired of screaming, so yeah.
"Sweet pea, nothing you do will knock that old door down, or any of the walls, they are reinforced with steal and concrete. So if I die, you better hope someone comes looking for you!" she hacks a bit, and it sounds like her lungs are trying to come out. Which is not good for either of us, she dies then I do whatever vampires do after they get too weak to hunt. I WANT TO LIVE, DAMN-IT!!!!
"You know, people will come looking for me. I am the doctor's adopted son," I try.
"Well, then you should have thought of that before you knocked on a strange cabin's door, and came inside," she rasps. She has a point there, but still!!!!
"Can I at least see you when I talk to you?" I think I hear voices in the background; maybe she is talking to her self? Oh well.
"Okay, seeing as the pot is almost boiling," NO, NO, No, No, no, no. She opens the door, slowly, very slowly, very, very slowly, way, way too slow for my liking, "now, butter bean you can't get out because I locked all the doors and put the key someplace your big, fat fingers can't get to. So running is pointless."
"WHY DO YOU WANT TO EAT ME? I WONT TAST GOOD!!!"
"Because you go through your sister's closet and through the best clothes on the floor, and write that she's an Elf on the wall at school," a different voice said, it kind of sounded like Alice. A very MAD Alice.
"You pick on your 'youngest' brother because he is over a hundred, and just recently found love," says a manlier, yet somehow boyish, voice that resembles
"You claim that your own wife was a boy at one point in time by writing it in the GIRL'S BATHROOM, and try to clog the toilet in your bathroom with nuked hot dogs," says a beautiful voice that sounded exactly like Rose.
"You claim that your other brother's 'gift' is 'women problems' WHEN HE WAS NEVER A GIRL IN THE FIRST PLACE," wow, that voice sounded like a very mad Jasper.
"You steal your practically-sister's crutches because 'it's fun to watch a klutz with a broken leg hop around,'" if I ever heard an extremely pissed-off Bella, that would be it. But Bells doesn't get pissed, so it's a moot point.
"You also write 'The Cullen Kids Suck' and blame it on another student. Now, Emmett, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Where are all these voices coming from? And how do you know all this stuff? WHAT IS THIS WOLRD COMING TOO????"
"Emmett, dear, look at me," THAT'S ESME'S VOICE COMING FROM THE OLD LADY!!!! SHE ALREADY ATE ESME!!!! NOOoo!!!!!!!! Now I have to voice this thought!
"YOU ATE ESME!!!! HOW COULD YOU???"
"Emmett. Look. At. Me. Now." Okay, I made her mad. Better do what she says. Is she pealing off her face? Gross, disgusting.
Wait a second, I see ESME!!!! So Esme was trying to eat me? WHY, ESME, WHY!!!!
"No, you nit-wit, we were playing a prank on you," the Edward voice said, "I am not 'the Edward voice' I am Edward. We are all out here."
(((So Emmett did get caught. But who is the Emmett-sitter? Should it be a Human or vampire? You know you can use these questions to tell me what you think it should be)))