Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter, wish I did, but don't. Therefore, my life sucks.

A/N: Eh, this chappie's a bit short, but oh well.

oOoOoOo

Harry rolled over in his bed, trying to fall back asleep, and failing miserably. He had been woken up at about 5am when someone had decided that shrieking loudly to the sky was exactly the thing to do early in the wee hours of morning. Considerably alarmed, Harry leapt from his bed and snatched his wand, ready and poised. He had been expecting an attack from Voldemort and his goons, for what other good reason for yelling could there be at five in the morning?

When no one came bursting through Harry's door, and Harry's dorm-mates sleepily assured him that all was well, Harry reluctantly crawled back into bed, willing for sleep to take him for a few more hours.

No such luck.

Harry, grumpy and awake, pulled his pillow out from under his head and pressed it against his face, hoping that he might suffocate and faint. Maybe even die. Because, really, what point was there in living if one could not sleep-in as much as possible?

None.

Harry cursed under his breath (though it really didn't have to be under his breath, since the pillow was muffling his words anyway), dreaming of how nice it would be just to be able to get a reasonable amount of sleep for once. Oh, the wonders of being fully alert and awake, Harry hadn't known that feeling for a very long time now.

Cruel, cruel world.

But as Harry was considering actually getting up and doing something useful, he heard a sudden rap on the window, shortly followed by another. In fact, the rapping was getting more and more urgent by the second.

Harry looked up groggily, seeing what appeared to be a two-headed blob floating outside his window. No…that can't be right…OH. Harry snatched his glasses off of his bed stand and pushed them on.

Outside his window, rapping incessantly, were two owls carrying what looked like a giant tray sheltered by a metal dome-shaped cover. Harry leaped from his bed and rushed to the window, glancing at his roommates before opening the window. Thankfully, they were all heavy sleepers and continued to snore, unaware of their surroundings.

Harry opened the window and stepped aside. The mass of owl and metal zoomed in and plopped down on Harry's pillow, the two owls looking quite relieved to be free of their heavy burden.

The raven-haired boy approached the metal object cautiously, prepared for any sudden attack. Yes, Harry is a paranoid child. But can you really blame him?

Ahem. As I was saying, Harry was approaching the object in question, prepared for any assault that may occur.

Carefully, Harry lifted the metal cover, revealing what appeared to be a large bowl of porridge, complete with a plate of eggs and bacon. The smell of the meal reached Harry's nose, and he sighed with relief. Then, glancing around for any competitors that he may have to battle in order to keep his food, he dug in, practically shoveling the breakfast into his waiting mouth.

A/N: hits pause button. Yes, despite Harry's naturally paranoid nature, he willingly ate the suspicious meal, without knowing who it was from and why it was given to him. Harry simply figured that it was some kindly admirer of his, offering him thanks for being such a great hero of the Wizarding World.

But really, it was food, and he was a red-blooded male. Need I say more?

Back to the story…

By the time Harry took one bite he was reduced to animalistic instincts. The meal was delicious, how on Earth was it made? Was there some added ingredient that made it taste so wonderful? Harry did not know. Harry did not care. Harry was hungry. Harry only continued to eat the appetizing food, without caring about anything, thinking of anyone, only dwelling on the mouth-watering taste of the meal.

Harry was also making quite a bit of noise.

Ron Weasley, one of Harry's closest friends, awoke, startled. There was a noise behind Harry's curtain that sounded much like a wild animal devouring his prey. Suddenly very afraid for Harry's life, Ron leaped from his bed and cautiously circled his best friend's curtain. Maybe a tiger had escaped from a nearby zoo and was accidentally let in, being mistaken for a cuddly feline? Maybe it was a hungry bear that somehow found his way inside? Maybe Harry caught a nasty, flesh-eating parasite? Ron did not know. Ron only worried for his friend's well-being. But he also feared for his own life as well…which was why Ron quickly leapt back under his covers in fright, after contemplating what may be eating Harry.

In the meantime, Harry's roommate and friend Neville Longbottom awoke from a peaceful sleep, for the very same reasons Ron was awaken. Neville located the noise and realized it was somewhere in Harry's bed. He also noticed a trembling and whimpering mass of something hiding under Ron's covers. Neville was, by nature, frightened by anything unusual, really, but he was also very a companionate being, and immediately became worried for Harry, which overruled his fear. So, courageously approaching said friend, or, Neville assumed, what was left of him, Neville pulled back the curtains, revealing a rather occupied Harry Potter and his breakfast.

Harry Potter glanced up from his meal, sensing that someone was near. Neville Longbottom stood above him, staring dubiously. At once, Harry suspected that Neville was after his food. He cuddled his bowl to his chest, emitting low growls, warning Neville to back off. Neville only continued to ogle Harry, one eyebrow raised high above the other.

Meanwhile, Ron Weasley continued to cower under his bed sheets like a little girl.

"Harry…?" started Neville, mouth hanging open. "Where did you get that?"

Harry swallowed the mouthful of bacon that he had just shoved into his face, mumbling, "I got it from the owls who delivered it to me."

Neville stared.

"And no, you can't have any. It's mine."

"Don't you think this is a little bit suspicious?" asked Neville, leaning over the meal.

Harry gathered the bowl and plate to him, finishing off the meal greedily. "No."

Neville shook his head, incredulous. "There was no note or anything?"

"No."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Neville," sighed Harry, "I'm positive."

"Then what's that?"

"Huh?"

Neville pointed to Harry's bowl.

Harry peeked over his now empty bowl of porridge.

At the very bottom, inscribed into the bowl, read;

Hahaha,

Hope you like the color of bathroom tiles, Potty.

Malfoy.

Sudden dread gripped Harry's insides, writhing inside his stomach and twisting and thrashing down to his …wait, was that really dread?

Harry dropped the bowl, face pale.

"Harry!" shouted Neville, grabbing Harry's shoulders. "What's wrong, Harry? Harry!"

Harry gulped. "Neville, if you'll excuse me…I need to…go…" Harry leaped from his bed, upsetting the empty plate that was previously on his lap and ran as fast as his could toward the nearest bathroom.

oOoOoOo

"So Malfoy put a laxative in that food?" asked Hermione, arms crossed. "And you ate it?"

"I didn't know he put a laxative in it!" moaned Harry, clutching his stomach.

"But still! It could have poisoned with something much worse!"

"Aww, Hermione, give him a break for once," said Ron, sitting on Harry's bed.

Hermione scowled. "No, Ron, I will not give him a break! Harry could have died! Harry ate food that was delivered to him with no note, and no reason, it could have been from anyone!"

Harry groaned, stomach in turmoil.

"We should take him to Madame Pomfrey," suggested Hermione, voice lowered.

"And give Malfoy the satisfaction of sending Harry to the Hospital Wing? Never!"

"Ron, Harry's in pain! He needs medication!"

"Aww, Harry'll suck it up, won't you Harry?" Ron gave Harry a hearty slap on the back. Harry whimpered.

Ron, taking Harry's verbal verification of his anguish for an affirmative, continued. "What we really need is to get back at Malfoy. That'll show him."

Hermione frowned. "I don't doubt that it was a terrible thing for Malfoy to do, but taking revenge on Malfoy won't stop him from hoaxing Harry again, in fact, it will encourage him to do just that."

Ron waved this off, ignoring Hermione's words of caution. "Nonsense. We'll get Malfoy back for what he did to Harry, right Harry?"

Harry groaned.

"That's right. It's go time."

Harry cringed at Ron's inconsiderate choice of words.

oOoOoOo

A/N: Poor Harry. Will he ever get to reap his terrible revenge on Draco? Most likely.

Anyway, next chapter will include a rather emotionally distraught Draco and an unwanted Anger Management session. And we will meet the doctor!

So review if you would like to support me in my time of writer's block! Critique is always welcome. God knows, I need it.