Raaah. For the Bleach Asylum IchiRuki FC. Set on... Earth! Three days before Ichigo's birthday, of course. Whee.

July 12th- VODKA

"Cheers!" Isshin hollered, holding his sake up into the air. "To my only son's birthday! Sake all around!" He grabbed an empty cup and stuffed it into Rukia's empty hands.

With red, flushed, drunken cheeks, Isshin grinned. "Here, Rukia, have some sake! Sake all around, and around, and around, goes all the way around!" He shakily poured the brown liquid into the glass.

"I- uhh..." Rukia stared at the cup blankly. "I don't think I should..." She swirled the drink playfully. "I'm not good with drinks... and... I'm supposed to be underage... and..."

Isshin does not take no for an answer. "Oh, silly Rukia-chan, it's just for today!" He shook the bottle to swivel the contents inside. "In the end, it's just a drink, eh? Eh?"

Ichigo twitched, kicking his father in the shin. "Stuff it dad. Rukia if doesn't want to drink, she won't, right? It's not like she can." He gave an evil smirk to Rukia. Rukia's eyes squinted suspiciously, looking at Ichigo over the unconscious father.

"What are you going at?" She asked, her fingers unconsciously tapping on the glass.

A devilish grin. "You don't look like you can hold your sake very long, that's what I'm sayin'." He slipped the sake jug fron Isshin's hands and held it to Rukia's face.

Rukia glared angrily. "What? Yes I can." She said, taking her cup and downing it in one gulp. "See? Ha, I bet you can hold your sake as badly as your father." She pointed to the man on the ground.

"Masaki, wait for me. I'm almost done..." They could see Isshin grabbing at an imaginary light.

Ichigo mentally slapped himself. Groaning, he grabbed his father on the floor and tossed him on the couch. "Be like him? Sake? No way. I've been out with Renji before, and I've drank vodka shots and more, so I know I can handle my sake." He grinned. "But you? You can't last three drinks."

Rukia's eyes glinted. "Well, should we see?"

Ichigo smirked again. "Bring it."

Both Ichigo and Rukia did last three drinks, but in the end, the fourth drink was their limit. The next day, when Isshin woke up from his rather distasteful sleep, he found the pair on the ground, Rukia slumped over Ichigo, muttering something about chappies, while Ichigo had his arms around her, peacefully snoring.

He immediately woke them and gave both his son and his daughter to be a rather long lecture about the birds and the bees.

Just to be careful, yes? He didn't want a granddaughter. Yet.

Maybe Ichigo's next birthday.

END.

You've gotta love drunk Isshin.