Lulu stood outside the coffee shop, restlessly contemplating going inside. She had been distraught all morning, torn apart inside from Dillon's voicemail. While she knew that part of her should be happy to hear his voice and know that he was okay, the rest of her was disappointed. He admitted that he missed her, but he had been too much of a coward to ever tell her directly. That seemed to be the pattern with them.

"Sorry I'm late, Blonde One," Spinelli rambled apologetically as he arrived, his trusty laptop tucked securely under his left arm. "Stone Cold has me working on a top secret project and I kind of lost track of time."

"That's fine," Lulu shook her head dismissively. She wasn't even paying attention to him. The only thing she could think about was going through the door. When Spinelli had asked to see her, she had racked her brain for a place that wouldn't remind her of Dillon. From General Hospital to Kelly's to the docks, the city was a ghost town of their entwined lives. There wasn't a single inch of Port Charles that didn't have a fleeting moment of time spent together. "I…"

Spinelli pulled his knit hat of his head, revealing a mop of messy chestnut hair. He knew that something was wrong, and more than likely, it centered on Dillon. It was hard watching Lulu go through this, but he secretly hoped that if he supported her enough, she would come out stronger on the other end. Getting over the Quartermaine boy was the only way he would ever stand a chance with her. "What's wrong, Blonde One? You look like you are a million miles away."

"I'm not exactly how far away I am," she retorted vaguely. Not knowing where Dillon was made it hard to picture their life together. "I'm sorry, I know that I'm not really here, and you need to talk to me about something important. I just don't think I can go in there. It reminds me of Dillon."

"You didn't even spend that much time with him here," he pointed out. "You and I have spent way more time in there than you two ever did. If the coffee shop should remind you of anyone, it should be me."

"I hid out here a lot after the abortion," she admitted. That was when she had first met Spinelli, in the aftermath of the darkest period in her life. She had gone on the run with Jason Morgan, something no one could have predicted. Along the way, they had met the confusing kid who had become someone they both trusted and valued. Spinelli had definitely impacted her life in the best was possible. As she glanced over at him, she thought – and not for the first time – how much easier life would be if she could just fall in love with him. He would do everything he could to love her for the rest of her life. "He called me."

He suddenly understood her disconcerting silence. Though she had never said anything to him about it, Spinelli knew that she had been waiting for his call since he had left. His unexpected departure had sent Lulu into a tailspin, and no one had been able to pull her out of it. Instead, she spent hours at the Quartermaine mansion in Dillon's bed. He had come by to visit her there, but she wouldn't let him in her bedroom. She needed to keep that part of Dillon just for herself. "He called you? What did he say?"

"He sent me a voicemail," she explained. "I didn't even get to talk to him. He was too much of a coward to do anything directly. His voice sounded so lonely, so disconnected from the man that I know. He called me his best friend. I know that he misses me."

Spinelli tried to suppress the anger boiling beneath the surface. "Some best friend," he muttered. "He just left you. I could never do that to you, but he did. I don't understand your love and loyalty for the Unworthy One. I would never treat you the way that he has. How could you love him?"

You laugh out loud at comic strips. Your favorite flavor ice cream is vanilla caramel. You twist your hair when you're anxious. You hum to yourself when you're alone -- or at least when you think you're alone -- but not on a bad day. I could go on…Because I know you.

The moment came back to her easily. It was the first time his feelings for her became real, even if they were built around completely false pretenses. She hated the fact that she had to lie to him to get him to really see her, but it had been worth it in the end. She would never be able to justify it, but she knew that she would never truly regret it either. It had changed her life, for better or for worse. And months later, Dillon had admitted as much in his own words.

"I love him because I do," she shrugged. "I wish that there was this grand reason that I could use to explain it, but there isn't one. There are a million tiny moments that made me fall in love with him and no one moment means any more than another. I love him because he knows me. More than anyone I have ever known, Dillon knows me. He accepts me, he loves me. We've been to hell and back together. I don't think anyone could ever stand like him."

She knew as soon as she said those words that it would hurt Spinelli, but she was only telling him the truth. No matter how good of friends they had become, the truth remained that he wasn't Dillon. He would never be Dillon, and she would never love him like he wanted her to love him. Part of her felt like she should at least try to get past Dillon, but the majority of her knew that it wasn't possible. There are some people you just can't shake. There are loves you just don't get over. Dillon was both.

"I don't really want to talk to you about this," she confessed. "In fact, I don't want to talk to anyone about this. Besides, we didn't come here to talk about me. You asked me to meet you here, so why don't you tell me what's up?"

Spinelli reconsidered briefly whether he should make his offer. A true friend would have asked her about it weeks ago when Dillon first left. "I think I know a way that we could find out where Dillon is," he said. "I mean, if you still want to know where he is. Dillon has made it pretty clear that he didn't want you to know, but I'll leave it up to you. I just wanted to put the offer out there on the table."

Using Spinelli to track Dillon was definitely something she had thought about, but it had somehow seemed wrong to even ask him. Now, he was offering it up on a shiny platter to her, but she was too paralyzed by the fear to react whatsoever. "I don't know," she sputtered. "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."

He had never seen her like this, so fragile and on the verge of tears. The only time she got this emotional was when it was about her mother. "It's okay, you can think about it," he offered. "There is plenty of time. It should be pretty easy. I'll just hack into his cell phone account and trace which tower it is hitting. From there, we should be able to use GPS to pinpoint his exact location. I've talked to Jason, and he told me that he would be glad to make the arrangements for you to travel there."

"He promised that he would help me find Dillon," she remembered, a small smile passing her lips. It was the first one Spinelli had seen since meeting her at the coffeehouse. "He said that his heart can't take life without me."

"Stone Cold said that?" Spinelli laughed. "That doesn't really sound like him. That sounds more like something the Valkyrie would say about him or even Fair Samantha."

"Not Jason," she corrected him. "Dillon. Before he hung up the phone, he said, 'My heart just can't take life without you.' He also told me that this is something that he needs to go through. He told me that he knew that I would understand why he had to leave. I can't go after him, Spinelli. It's not what he wants, not yet."

"So, you're just going to hope that he comes back to you? He could fall in love with someone else out there, Blonde One. It's possible that he might not come back, and then what will you have? You are putting your life on hold waiting for him, and you're not willing to go after him. You are not like this about anyone else. I just don't get it."

"You don't have to," she retorted hotly. "This isn't about you. Hell, it's not even about me really. This is about what Dillon needs. He gave me the time that I needed last summer after the abortion. When I asked him to stop pushing, he finally did that for me. I have to do the same for him. He's not gone to get away from me or to find someone else. He left to get away from the person he was becoming."

"And you're okay with that?"

"He is going to come back to me," she said. She wished she felt as confident as she sounded. She just prayed that he wouldn't let her down. She hoped that she wouldn't have to eat these words later. She had to believe that her heart wasn't going to mislead her. "I still love him. I need him to come home. He has to come home. That's how much he means to me."

There was resoluteness to her voice, and Spinelli knew that he wouldn't get anymore out of her. In fact, Lulu didn't say anything else as she reached up and waved at him before heading down the sidewalk. As she turned the corner, he noticed what she was wearing for the first time. The tattered khaki cargo jacket had been one of Dillon's favorites. Even he was gone, Dillon was always with her. No one would ever be able to compete.

As she disappeared out of sight from Spinelli, Lulu took off at a full sprint. The wind beat against her face as she ran past the storefronts and cafes that lined downtown Port Charles. She could hear the ships coming into the harbor in the distance as she galloped through the park and past the lush PCU campus. A few blocks later, she could see the first glimpse of the mansion. Her eyes went immediately to the boathouse. Rarely used, it was, of course, the place that reminded her of him most.

She knew that if anyone was watching her that her movements would seem erratic, but she knew exactly what she was doing as she pried the door open. Kicking the discarded furniture out of the way, she headed for the lone close in the room. Hidden beneath old sheets and tarps was the blanket they had shared that second time. It was the time that had counted. It was the time that had changed everything. Pulling it out of the closet, she peeled away the jacket and wrapped it around her bare shoulders. Sitting on the bench next to the door, she finally allowed the tears to come just as she had last summer.

Last year, she had cried because she had lied to him. She had pretended that Georgie had fallen out of love with him. This year, she still cried because she had lied to him. Lulu had pretended that she wasn't in love with him. The lies had to stop. All her pretending was done. This was it. He was it. He just didn't know it yet.