Ice: Okay, I'm going to be making Naruto: Abridged references in each chapter. Cookie points if you can find them. This one might be kinda obvious.

Anyway, I'm going to update my story. Unlike PClaw. Oh yes.

I just burned you again. LolmaorflcopterX2. Oh yeah, I also mention one of your stories…

SOMEONE FLAGGED EPISODE 15. RAWR. D:

Whatever…

Disclaimer: I only own Naruto when the Bible says I do. The Bible doesn't say that? Oh, okay then. I don't own it, or anything else.

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Pein yawned. It was eight in the morning, and he got to sleep at three. He turned to the Life & Style.

"What are you doing up?" Pein turned to the voice. It was Blue/Samantha.

"Eh, I couldn't fall back to sleep."

Since this is getting kinda boring, let's cut to a commercial.

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"Hey!" –Explodes-

NOOW!!!

Disclaimer: WarningBuyingZabuzaswordmayincreasetheamountofsuckageyouexhibit.VizwillnotbeheldresponsibleifZabuzaswordiseverusedassuppositoryoreyecleaner.Allrightsreservedeventhosewecan'thave.GowatchYu-Gi-Oh:TheAbridgedseries.

Continuing…

"We have to go get the Nine-tails today."

"Oh shit, that was today?!" Blumantha sighed, and pointed out ever so delicately,

"Well, you had it marked on three calendars, and had three drawings of us getting the fox and you obtaining world domination." Pein blinked.

"That hurt…" Blumantha twitched.

"Wussy. Come on, we should get going." Pein sighed, and went to dress.

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OFF-PLOTLINE'D!

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Tobi sat up in his bed, and yawned. He had just finished Deathly Hallows last night, and it was awesome. He decided to cook breakfast. He took a shower, put on his mask and robes, and went to put on his 'I'M OBITO---' apron.

"Ah, chocolate chip muffins…" Tobi took out the muffins and delicately placed them on a plate. Deidara had just appeared from waking up.

"Deidara-senpai! I have a question."

"What is it, un?"

"Did the dinosaurs all die out?" Deidara looked at him as if he were insane.

"Yeah Tobi…un."

"Why did all the dinosaurs die out?" Deidara bluntly said;

"Because you touch yourself at night." Tobi looked down in shame and sadness.

"B-but…"

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"Pein; quit dragging your feet." Blumantha said.

"God, I don't want to do this…" He whined, as Blumantha scolded him.

"You're acting like a two-year old. Now, the sooner we get there, the sooner this is over." Pein sighed in defeat.

"Fine." He begrudgingly went.

"Why are you so…whiney about doing this?" Pein looked over at her.

"Because I'm sick, and tired, and I believe that he might kill us, even though he's only fifteen, we're like, thirty, and much more experienced." Blumantha looked at him.

"That…doesn't make any sense."

"Exactly! This whole manga/anime makes no sense!" It was silent for a few moments.

"…….Let's just keep moving." Unfourtunatley, they were attacked by a convenient plot twist.

"'Da fuck?" Naruto had just 'wandered' into the forest they were traveling in.

"Hey! You're those people who want to kill me!"

"Uh…yeah." Pein said, as if Naruto was (is) an idiot.

"SUPER AWESOME GAY TRANSFORMATION GO!" Pein looked at Naruto, who had just transformed into a disgustingly adorable squirrel. Why a squirrel? Because I freaking said so.

Pein looked at the adorable thing in question. How…How was this supposed to stop him? Unfourtunatley, it wasn't Pein he was aiming for.

"Awwww! He's so cute!" Blumantha went over to Squirrel-Naruto, and coddled him.

"Who's a good squirrel? That's right, you are!"

"Uh…Blue?" She didn't answer.

"Seriously, stop." Nothing changed.

"Ooh, you are just the cutest thing!"

"Blue…come on…"

"I should just give you all my attention!" Naruto smirked on the inside. That last comment is what set Pein off. He punched Squruto in the face, who transformed back into Naruto.

"Hey! What was that for? I was so close to coming back and interrogating your place!"

"She is mine, bastard!" He punched Naruto again, and didn't notice Blumantha point at a tree with someone in it.

"Um, Pein, we've got company." Pein stopped his assault on a fifteen-year old, to look up at a girl with pink hair and green eyes. Pink hair? What the hell? Did her mom have sex with a Pink on the outside, green on the inside pack of gum?

"l13k, 0h, mY g4wD! uR hUr71n' N4ru70!" Pein looked at Blumantha.

"What?"

"I think she said where to find the nearest coffee shop…"

"No, I think she asked where to buy doughnuts…" Either way, they couldn't tell.

"wH47 R u 74lk1n 4b0u7? 1 s41d uR hUr71n' N4rU70!"

"I'm…I'm sorry…what the hell are you saying?" Sakura looked at them angrily.

"W4T d0 u m34n? 1 s41d st0p huR71n' N4Ru70!" Pein couldn't take it anymore. He had a seizure.

Ka-L33T'D!

"Oh my god!" Blumantha ran over to him. She started CPR. Angel!Pein appeared once more, and smirked.

"Lol, that's the third time." God looked at him.

"Why do you keep appearing? Don't you kill people?!" Pein sighed, and looked over to God.

"Eight years of community service does wonders for you…"

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Ice: 'Twas originally going to be Ino, but I thought she was too overused.

Y'know what's weird? Naruto doesn't have any black people…hn…

Well, R&R, flames will be mocked.

Oh, and One death will be from a Teen Girl Squad. If you are as devoted to Strong Bad as I am, you'll know it.