Ice: Sorry for the small lack-of-update-(Shut it, Phoenix) been too busy failing at Twilight: Princess.
Also: Naruto A. Reference. Really, really, really obvious.
Away we go with my stalling!
Disclaimer: I own Naruto? Wow, news to me. Wait a sec, I don't? Damn Congress…fine, I don't own Naruto or anything else…
Oh, and Sasori is the hottest and prettiest member of the Akatsuki. Thank god he did that puppet conversion thing, although Tobi and Deidara are my favorite members.
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"You're really pretty, Sasori, un." Deidara said, obviously drunk. Sasori cringed.
"I'm pretty? At least say I'm hot to make me feel better." Deidara shook his head.
"No-hic-you're pretty…Prolly the prettiest in the Akatsuki…-hic-." Sasori's eyelid twitched. He was not pretty. He was sexy. A sexy, sexy piece of puppet.
"I'm sexy."
"Pretty-hic-."
"Sexy."
"Pre-hic-tty."
"Sexy!"
"Preeettyyy!"
"SEXY!"
"PREETTTYYYY!"
"Hey, what are you fighting about?" The Good-Boy killer piped in.
"Tobi, am I sexy or pretty?" Tobi went back a little, slightly appalled. He put his hands up.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not gay." Sasori slit his eyes.
"I know that, you dunce. But, if you had to say, was I pretty or sexy?" Tobi thought for a moment, and then shouted out in glee.
"Pretty! But, I'm the cutest as a Chibi!" The drunk Deidara and Sasori turned to each other.
"What's a Chibi-hic-un?"
"I don't know…" Tobi stood on his tip-toes, and said ever-so-intelligently,
"It's a disgustingly cute rendition of us, shorter, bigger, more adorable eyes, and nubs for hands."
"Ooohh…"
"Okay, anyway, I'm off to go control the world! Mwuhahaha!" Tobi went into evil genius mode again. Sasori and Deidara sighed.
"Pein! It's your turn!" Sasori yelled into the other room.
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"Seriously. Get them off." Pein cringed as Blue put another bow in his hair. She decided that he would be her 'doll' to dress up. He had about twenty ribbons in his hair, a tiara on, and a pretty pink bow around his waist that said 'Pretty, Pretty Princess' on it. He was desperately looking for an excuse to get out of the situation.
"Aw, but you look so adorable!" She gave him a tight hug. Pein died a little inside.
"Pein! It's your turn!" Getting up quickly, he ran into the other room.
"Pein! You suck!" Blue whined, and immediately had another devious thought.
"Zetsu! Get in here!"
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Pein rushed into the room, in his girly garb and all, people snickering as he did.
"Oh shut up, all of you!" Pein put Tobi on his back, and started to pat his back.
"What?! What is the meaning of this?!" Pein patted his back until Tobi burped.
"Alright, there you go." Tobi stupidly walked around the Akatsuki, saying;
"DERR, I'M A GOOD BOY!" Randomly appearing Kakuzu sighed.
"No more bean-burrito night for him."
"I'M A GOOD BOY!" Tobi said, like a broken record.
"Who gave him the beans?!" Pein demanded. Hidan cautiously raised his hand.
"I thought it might be funny…shitfuckhelldamnbitchlolololol."
"DERR, I'M STILL A GOOD BOY!" Pein narrowed his eye at Tobi.
"Shut…the hell up…you fuzzbag…" Pein knocked Tobi unconscious.
"Now that that's all done, I've got a cruel and unusual punishment for you all." They groaned.
"Fine! CaUP and no alcohol for two months, besides me!" They murmured, obviously annoyed.
"What is it?" Sasori perked up.
"You have to entertain me! By playing an instrument…" They all looked at him in query.
"But uh….how is that cruel and unusual punishment?" Pein thought for a second. He had sucky punishments.
"Okay, you all have to play an instrument you haven't played before." They groaned.
"There! I'm eviler now!" Pein looked in question. Where was Zetsu?
"Where's Ze-?" He was stopped by a Zetsu with multiple flower-decorations in his venus-fly-trap thing. He tried escaping out of Pein's bedroom door.
"Help…me! She's…oh god…help!" He was dragged back inside, and the door locked behind them.
"Okay, Zetsu's an exception. Now, go!" They all begrudgingly went off.
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"Are you going to kill me?" Zetsu said to the now probably insane Blue.
"No…I'm going to decorate you!" She laughed insanely, and Zetsu died on the inside.
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"OH GOD! NOT THE PINK DRESS! ANYTHING BUT THE DRESS!" Pein shrugged at the screaming Zetsu.
"Now! Everybody ready!" Pein's quote-cruel and unusual punishment-unquote began.
"Oh come on, leader! This is lame!" Sasori whined.
"So? Nobody gets away with feeding Tobi bean burritos." Sasori sighed, and played a horrible, horrible tune on the violin. Everyone recoiled.
"Uuughh! Sasori that was freakin' terrible, un!" Sasori glared over at Deidara.
"I DON"T PLAY THE FUCKING VIOLIN! I PUPPET!" Sasori threw a trombone.
Which, in turn, 'conveniently' hit Pein.
Ka-TROMBONE'D!
"Ow…that kinda stung…" Pein rubbed his head.
Pein. Die. Now.
Pein dropped dead on the floor. Everyone backed away from Sasori.
"Oh, Blue is gonna get you!" Sasori looked over at Kakuzu.
"We have a plot, y'know."
"Ooh…right. Sorry."
ANGEL!PEIN TIIIMME!
Pein and SP-God were playing Halo.
"Since we're having a-Oh come on! That wasn't fair you jackass!-let's go to Nollie Williams for the weather on Earth report. Nollie?"
"IT'S RAINING SIDEWAYS!"
"-Put it on pause, on pause, dammit!-Can we get you anything?"
"BRING ME SOME SOUP!"
"-Dammit Pein, put it on Pause!-what kind?"
"CHUNKY!"
"Alright, we'll get on that."
"WOO-HOO! YOU LOSE, GOD-BOY!"
"That's because you cheated, bastard…" God got sneaky, and took out some victory pie and © Cool Whip, sprinkling some of his hair in it.
"Ooh! Let me have some of that pie!" God looked at him. Didn't he see him put hair in the pie?
"Uh…okay…" Pein took a bite from the piece, and saw the Cool Whip.
"Ooh! Let me have some of that Cooh Whip!"
"Uh…what?"
"You can't have a pie without Cooh Whip!"
"What are you saying?"
"Cooh whip, pie tastes better with Cool Whip!"
"Cool Whip."
"Cooh Whip."
"Cool Whip."
"Cooh Whip."
"You're saying it weird, why are you putting so much emphasis on the 'H'?"
"What are you talking about?" Pein looked at God. What was he talking about? He was just saying it like usual.
"Say Whip."
"Whip."
"Now say Cool Whip."
"Cooh Whip."
"Cool Whip."
"Cooh Whip."
"Cool Whip."
"Cooh Whip." Finally getting annoyed, god ended it.
"YOU'RE EATING HAIR!"
"-Ppfh-!" Pein spit out the pie.
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Ice: Eh…I didn't really like this chapter…
Oh well. I guess it was better in my head. Oh, and that was Ollie Williams from Family Guy. And Cool Whip. LOL.
Sasori is really, really pretty!
Alas, R&R, flame for all I care.
