A Little Hope (and a lot of trouble): Chapter Six
by Ami-chan
"Buck's mad at me."
They'd just sat down for dinner back at the cabin after their eventful day – the rowdy men had either been placed in the jail or at the undertaker's, the living ones had been treated for their wounds by Nathan and would be dealt with when Judge Travis came back around – when Adam made his declaration. Chris shook his head immediately in denial. "He ain't mad at you."
Adam looked at Chris like he didn't believe him. "Is he mad at you?"
"A bit, but nothing for you to be concerned over." He glanced meaningfully at the boy's plate, silently demanding he eat.
"Is he mad at you because of me?" Adam insisted, still ignoring his food.
Chris sighed, shaking his head. "It's not your fault, Adam, you hear me? This is between me and Buck."
Finally he picked up his fork, twirling it around for a moment before setting it back down again without eating anything. "You shouldn't let these sorts of things fester. It's not productive and Buck's your friend, you have to remember that."
"I'll take care of it, all right?"
Adam didn't look convinced. "Don't lose him, papa. Not for me or anyone else." He was looking down and eating when Chris glanced up at him sharply. Neither of them brought up the subject of Buck anymore that night.
Morning found them once more heading for the town. Buck was waiting for them when they arrived, though to the casual onlooker he might have just been relaxing on the boardwalk half-asleep. Adam gave him a glance before he headed calmly and casually toward the school. Buck remained in place, his gaze shifting sideways when Chris appeared after putting the horses up. "Buck."
"Yeah?" The blue eyes said more than any words could have, but Chris still pressed on.
"Adam reminded me how much you mean to me." He sat down beside Buck, his eyes glancing over the town and its mingling inhabitants. "Still don't agree with you about Adam and don't think I ever will."
"He was being disrespectful."
Chris shook his head in denial. "Ain't going to hit him, Buck. He's my son – "
"Always said he was our boy." Buck's stare was heavy with underlying tones Chris wasn't entirely sure he wanted to deal with. "That still true?"
"Yeah." He'd always been Adam's "uncle" of a sort, always there, always willing to help out even when it was inconvenient. "Don't want you disciplining him either, Buck."
"Can't promise you that, Chris, not with the way that boy's acting."
"Buck…"
The larger man glared at him, unwavering. "I don't take this lightly, Chris, so don't think I am. If he's mine as much as he is yours then I should have a say too."
Chris fell silent, considering. "Don't know how he'd take that."
"At least someone would be putting him in his place."
"His place is with me – us," Chris amended quickly. "And he hasn't done anything wrong. Not much, anyway."
Buck snorted in disagreement as they both settled in knowing the matter hadn't been put to rest but that they had both had their say and they would take it from there.
#t#
It was expected, Adam decided, that Miss Alice should treat him like a criminal after the incident yesterday – some of the boys considered it a victory against the teacher even if they hadn't understood his intents, the girls seemed to be upset that he'd gotten in trouble and said it wasn't his fault. None of that mattered to Miss Alice, though, and she only got angrier with him as the day progressed. She wanted him to fail, as harsh as that sounded, Adam couldn't find any other way to describe her constant insistence that he give the answer or write this on the chalkboard. Not that he minded, having already glanced through the school book he'd gotten and seen most of it wasn't altogether that new to him. Still, making enemies had never been particularly high on Adam's list of things to do but it happened all the same.
At lunch the girls immediately latched onto him again and having nothing better to do, he went with them. With the rest of their time they continue to show Adam their unique games and rhymes. At least, they did until some of the older boys, Roger Haddox and Frank Masters among the forerunners of the group,choose to interrupt.
"What are you? A girl?" It was said unkindly – not that Adam seemed to take much stock in that – by Roger, the larger of the boys and the one that tended to be the spokesperson of their little band.
"Why would I be a girl?" The genuine curiosity and lack of offense seemed to startle the other boys. Their challenge had not been taken as they had obviously wanted it to be taken.
"You're playing girl games with girls, that makes you a girl," Frank put in, sneering at his apparent stupidity.
Adam stared at him blankly for a moment, processing his statement. "No it doesn't. That's a fallacious – " His words were drowned out by loud taunts of, "You're a girl!" and "Giiirl!" that for some reason was supposed to anger him. At least, that's what Adam thought they intended to do, he was just uncertain why. Why was he supposed to be concerned about whether they called him a girl or not? He was clearly not a girl and even if he had been a girl what was wrong with that? So what was the purpose?
"Hey, stop it! Like you're any better!" Stacia was glaring at the older boy, jump rope in hand as if it were some weapon to be used against him. "Just because Adam's nicer than you lot doesn't mean that he's a girl!"
"What, protecting your little boyfriend? How sweet." More taunting ensued before Will Potter attempted to intervene, glaring coldly at his sister and Adam in turn. "Come on, back off. This isn't getting us anywhere." Roger and Frank both poked fun at Will, pushing him around a bit, but inevitably did back away.
"Idiot," Will snapped when they'd left. "Why didn't you say anything?"
Adam barely flinched when the older boy pushed him roughly, nearly knocking him off his feet. "I did say something. It doesn't make me a girl."
Will rolled his eyes in despair. "That's not – you're strange, you know that? Anyone else would have punched him for that."
"You mean any boy would have," Adam rephrased. It was a moment before Will nodded, again looking at him like there was something wrong with his reasoning. "Why?"
"You don't want to be a girl, do you?" It apparently made sense in Will's mind.
But, "What's wrong with being a girl?" Adam received an exasperated sigh and no answer as the older boy turned away and back to his own friends. With a faint frown in place he turned back to the girls that had crowded back around him protectively. "There's nothing wrong with being a girl. I don't get it." The girls look back at him sympathetically, but offered no advice.
Adam managed not to anger the teacher and stayed the full school day, afterwards he darted straight for the saloon, his gaze briefly casting around for a familiar face – Ezra and Vin in one corner, he ignored them, then Inez behind the bar. He went for Inez. "Why, Adam, what are you doing here?" He explained the situation quickly as well as his confusion. Inez offered him an immediate smile. "There is nothing wrong with being a girl, only boys – they seem to take it as a… well, as a bad thing to be girly."
"Why is that?"
"Because girls are supposed to be weaker and boys don't want to be seen as weak."
"Girls aren't weak, though."
Inez smiled down at him, patting his hand fondly as if he were a pet. "And that, my dear, makes you a very wise young man."
"What seems to be troubling you, young Mr. Larabee?"
Adam wandered over to Ezra and Vin, and taking specific preference to Ezra, leaned against the man's chair and peered at him with mild blue eyes. "I asked Inez to explain masculine posturing to me, but I still don't get it. They seem to believe there is a distinction between games that boys can play and those they can't, when they are all just games and they are all on the odd side, if you ask me."
"You do have a point there, my friend. I really don't have an answer for you other than to say that's simply the way things are." Ezra nodded toward the saloon's entrance. "It appears as if your father has come looking for you."
"That was inevitable." Without another word Adam went to his father and Buck, who happened to be standing next to him. "Are you coming back with us?" He was pulled back against his father and patted roughly, the sort of affection gesture one might bestow upon a dog or horse. It might have annoyed me had Adam not be intently focused on Buck.
"Now why would he be coming with us?" Chris, not giving either Adam or Buck a change to respond, nudged his son out the saloon door and to the stable where their horses were already saddled and waiting.
Ezra and Vin exchanged silent, but meaningful glances, not a word passing between them as Buck settled down at the table with a sigh. "Everything all right Mr. Wilmington?"
"Sure, Ez, why wouldn't it be?"
A deck of cards appeared and Ezra began shuffling them absently. "That's what I was asking you."
"Don't worry about it, it isn't your problem." Buck's head was down so he missed Ezra's raised eyebrows and a second look that passed between the gambler and Vin.
The week passed slowly, Adam going willingly enough to school despite the fact that Miss Alice seemed to be targeting him on purpose and the boys weren't much better. Adam was dealing better with that environment than he was with anything else even with all the confusion it was at least something new and interesting. It was Chris that didn't seem to be coping very well.
"What the hell am I going to do? It's as if I am useless, like he is – course he is Adam, but he's a… "
"A stranger?" Buck suggested, taking a sip of his whisky.
"No, no entirely. Sort of, I suppose. More like a little too perfect. He does everything, most of it without me asking him to do anything at all and I think sometimes that he does chores just to avoid being near me, talking to me." Chris was glaring darkly at the table while the most of the sane occupants of the saloon were avoiding them like the plague. Except Vin, who had wandered over to join them a few minutes ago, a silent, supportive figure slouched in the corner as if waiting for something.
"I'm sure he isn't – "
Chris was shaking his head solemnly. "He is. Doesn't talk much when it's just us, barely even looks at me. Like…" He trailed off without finishing, but damned if Buck couldn't finish the thought. It was like Adam blamed him and Chris had enough guilt for the both of them without the boy around. He'd known it wasn't going to be easy for Chris and the boy was driving him closer to the breaking point that Buck had feared, with Adam showing no signs of faltering.
"Hey," Vin drawled, his voice smooth and casual, startling both of them into looking at him as if they'd forgotten he was there – they had, really, Vin being so quiet and unassuming as he was at the moment. "How 'bout I take Adam out for a bit this weekend, give ya a break."
It was a good suggestion to Buck's ear, but Chris was staring a bit blankly at Vin. "Not sure – "
"It's not a bad idea," Buck interjected, ignoring the scowl Chris sent in his direction.
"Hell, Chris, ain't gonna let nothing happen to the kid, you know that."
And Chris did know that but he was still insecure, still unable to completely let him go yet. "Vin."
Vin stood, grinning widely and clapped Chris roughly on the shoulder. "I'll take him out after school and we'll go from there. Gotta learn to let him go sometime, besides, sounds like ya need some time to sort things out." His eyes darted from Chris to Buck and back again.
"When?" Was the only word Chris could force out. Anyone else might have assumed Chris was mad but they knew him well enough to know he was glaring and scowling because he was uncertain.
"Be back before Sunday, don't you worry."
Of course Chris would worry. How could he not? Buck, however, was already planning on ways to distract him now that Adam would be out of the picture for a while.
Vin had Peso and June all packed with bedrolls and supplies enough for two days out in the desert – he winked at Adam when he saw him exiting the schoolhouse and the boy's face lit up like it was Christmas. For a moment it looked as if he would go running toward the tracker, but changed his mind at the last minute and went over to his anxiously waiting father; Buck could have kissed the boy. "You don't mind?" Chris asked as Adam quietly handed him his schoolbook, slate, and chalk. The way they talked amazed Buck sometimes. It was as if they'd already had a discussion about Vin taking Adam out when Buck knew for damned sure that they hadn't.
"It'll be fun." Adam smiled hesitantly up at him before adding softly, "Thanks."
"You're welcome, son." As if it had been his idea all along. Then Adam was headed toward Vin and the horses after he endured Chris's rough patting, gestures of affection.
No words that Buck could see were exchanged between Adam or Vin as they mounted or when they headed out of town. Perhaps it was that uncanny unspoken language that Chris and Vin seemed to share where they seemed to know exactly what the other was thinking. Was it odd, then, that Chris and Adam couldn't have the same connection? It didn't seem to work that way, however.
Buck turned his attention back to Chris. Well, he had some distracting to do and he was most certainly going to enjoy doing it soon as Chris got his head out of his ass. His hand landing on Chris's shoulder upset the smaller man's balance and made him glare coldly but ineffectively at Buck. "Come on, ol' dog, let's have ourselves another drink. Then later might head out to the cabin."
Green eyes narrowed faintly, knowing exactly what Buck was getting at and not really minding despite his attempt to make him think otherwise. "'Right then."
Buck just grinned at him. Sometimes he was entirely too predictable.
-to be continued-