Anakin, with Obi-Wan slung unconscious over his shoulder, began to jab the button that controlled the turbo lift wildly with his finger. However nothing whatsoever happened. A confused Anakin spun to face Palpatine, Obi-Wan's head accidentally hit the wall when that happened, though Anakin paid no attention.

"What's wrong with that thing?" Anakin cried.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?!" Palpatine cried angrily. "You are supposed to be a good mechanic!"

"You can honestly think I'm a good mechanic!" Anakin cried. "Cant you see I'm a blubbering moron?!"

"Of course, you'd have to be a blubbering moron to not see that you are in fact a blubbering moron, but I was always under the impression that some blubbering morons had talents!"

"Well I don't!"

"You made that prissy droid when you were nine!"

"Yeah, but 3PO is a blubbering moron like I am, and he never shuts up!"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! JUST USE THE FORCE TO OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!" Palpatine cried furiously.

"Who's Pete?"

"YOU—what—Pete—is—well—er…… it's a $#& expression you damn moron!"

"I don't know Chancellor, you're sorta getting defensive, and you seem rather fond of this Pete."

"What the hell is wrong with you, there's no one named Pete in the galaxy! George Lucas only makes up crazy names that are sometimes hard to pronounce and spell, not to mention the dialogue he writes sucks!"

"Who is George Lucas?"

"Well you see Anakin…" Palpatine began, going into a really long, boring, and intellectual explanation that they were all fictional characters in a fictional galaxy far, far away created by a man named George Lucas who sucks at writing dialogue apparently. By the time the Chancellor was done the ship was shaking violently from continuous fire on it and Anakin was surprised Obi-Wan was not up, and Anakin was also utterly confused, he had not understood one word Palpatine had said.

"What?" he asked.

"YOU—IDIOT—WHY THE HELL DO I WANT TO TURN YOU—okay, calm down Palpatine, calm down." Palpatine said to himself while taking in a deep breath. "Okay Anakin, let me try to explain this in terms you can understand. We're all make-believe characters in a make-believe world and we were made by a man named George Lucas who can't write… talking well."

"Oh!" Anakin cried, finally realizing it. "So how do we open the door?"

"Step aside." Palpatine ordered. The Chancellor stepped up in front of the sealed turbo lift entry, he extended his hands and the door flew back into the shaft, beginning a long descent downwards.

"How did you do that?" Anakin asked suspiciously.

"Well you see Anakin… you do not remember anything." Palpatine said, waving his hand in front of Anakin's face.

"We've already been through this Chancellor, I do remember."

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

"Don't!"

"Yes!"

'You don't!"

"I do!"

"You're a bastard!"

"You're an ugly old guy with gray hair that's falling out!"

"Ugh! I do not have gray hair! And… my hair is thinning!"

"That's what all old guys say when they go bald, but I still have hair!" Anakin cried happily. He shook his head, waving his long hair around and trying to look sexy, instead he looked as though he was saying no in the form of shaking his head.

"I am not old!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Palpatine cried.

"Why you little—" Anakin screamed furiously. He ripped the nearest light fixture off of the wall and smashed it on top of the Chancellor's head; the poor man fell to the ground, holding his head in pain, his mouth spewing all kinds of profane insults.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" Palpatine cried enraged.

"I did it because… well… actually I don't remember."

"Whatever, just move!" Palpatine snapped. He strode to the edge of the huge pit which was the turbo lift shaft. Anakin walked up next to him, the unconscious Obi-Wan still slung over his shoulder.

"How far down do you think it goes?" Anakin asked.

"I don't know," Palpatine replied. "Why don't you throw Obi-Wan down there and find out?"

"Ugh! Chancellor, he's like a father to me."

"He's a pansy and you know it!"

"Yeah, so?"

"Whatever, let's just figure out a way to get down."

"We could jump."

"Without dying."

"Oh, yeah that's a tough one."

"Ya think!"

However before Anakin could reply, the ship began to roll, the floor seemed to angle below them turning into a slide, the turbo lift shaft had now become like a floor, both Palpatine and Anakin hoisted themselves into it (Anakin was forced the throw Obi-Wan in before himself, sadly Obi-Wan was once again becoming conscious but he smacked his head again on the floor). Once Anakin and the Chancellor climbed into the shaft Anakin proceeded to sling Obi-Wan over his shoulder once more and both of them began to sprint across the shaft, in the direction that normally would be down.

XxX

"Sir fo' shizzle!" the Neimoidian in the control chair cried in the bridge of the Quite Visible, Badass, Awesome, Powerful Super Hand!!!.

"What is it precious?! Have the potatoes been found precious hmmmmmmmmm?" Grevious asked in his girly Gollum voice.

"What potatoes dude?" the Neimoidian asked.

"Nothing!" Grevious snapped. "What is it hmm, precious?"

"The Jedi and the Chancellorizzel have totally got into the turbo lift shaft fo' shizzle!"

"Ha, ha, ha, morons, precious! Did we only switch gravity near shaft precious?!"

"Yeah man, fo' sho'!"

"Sweet precious! Turn gravity back on yes, yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, precious! Greevie wanna see their Jedi asses go splat!"

"Wha' about the Chancellorizzel. Like Sidiousizzle totally wanted you to bring the dude into your crib and hold him there fo' sho'!"

"Greevy don't give a damn about the effing Chancellor's ass! Greevy wanna see Jedi go splat precious."

"If you is sho' General…."

"Greevy be sure, yes precious, yesssssssssssssssssssss, Greevy wants to see the Jedi dead! Once they dead Greevy take the previous for hisself!"

"Take what?"

"Never mind it!"

XxX

As Anakin (with Obi-Wan still slung unconscious over his shoulder) and Chancellor Palpatine sprinted down the turbo lift they began to notice the gravity was shifting. Instead of running down a straight tunnel they were now stumbling down a steep slant, now they were sliding down a wall.

"Damn it!" Palpatine cried, clutching Anakin's boot so hard that his nails were actually digging into the leather and Anakin's flesh.

"What do we do?! What do we do?!" Anakin asked loudly in fear and to no one in particular.

"Use the grappling hook!" Palpatine cried as they steadily began to plunge faster.

"What the hell's a grappling hook? Sounds dangerous!"

"Oh for the love of Gina! The grappling hook is the spikey thingy you throw up at a high place, attach it on and use a rope tied to it to climb up you stupid moron!"

"Oh!" Anakin cried in realization. He pulled the very tool Palpatine had ordered him to and slung it upwards, it immediately wrapped around a thick beam and tightened quickly, their fall ceased, the group hung their, Anakin holding onto the grappling hook wire and Obi-Wan, Palpatine clinging tightly to Anakin's ankle.

"We're screwed." said Anakin.

"Obviously!" Palpatine snapped, glancing down at the pit below him. Before Anakin could say anything else, however Obi-Wan let out a low groan. His eyes fluttered open and he found himself staring at what he thought could be a butt… perhaps it was a female butt? Completely delusional Obi-Wan reached out and grabbed it, Anakin let out a scream of fury and several profane swear words before dropping Obi-Wan who caught onto the Chancellor's ankle, much to Palpatine's displeasure, he desperately tried to shake Obi-Wan off, sadly the Jedi's grip was too strong, Anakin had witnessed that just moments ago.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF YODA'S SAGGY BUTT CHEEK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Anakin cried furiously, narrowed eyes squinting down at his former master.

"I thought you were a girl!"

"You horny little bastard! Kill him Chancellor! KILL HIM!"

"Believe me Anakin I'm trying." Palpatine replied, stilling trying to shake Obi-Wan loose.

"Look, Anakin," Obi-Wan began, ignoring the Chancellor's attempts to get him to let go completely. "Lets just put this all behind us and figure out a way to get out of here."

"Fat chance! Once we get on flat ground I'm gonna beat your skinny little white boy ass Obi-Wan!"

"Anakin, you will stop using the gangster talk immediately or I shall have to impale you."

"IMPALE ME!!!!!! I'm gonna go Jackie Chan on your ass you gay little pansy!"

"SHUT THE $ UP BOTH OF YOU!" cried Palpatine. "I think I hear something…"

All three of them looked up to see the bottom of at turbo lift zooming at them, bloody chunks covered it, apparently they weren't the first humans to be smashed.

"HOLY CRAP!" cried Anakin.

"OH FOR THE $#& LOVE OF ALL $#$ GOD #$$!" cried Palpatine.

"Shit," Obi-Wan muttered, however at that very moment the door they were leaned against opened and they all fell into a hallway. Anakin felt the wind as the turbo lift shot passed… he was safe… but Obi-Wan certainly wasn't! Anakin leapt to his feet, ran over to the Jedi and began to strangle him.

XxX

"Gerenalizzle!" cried the Neimoidian in the control chair.

"What is it preciousizzle, fo' sho'?" Grevious's girly gangster voice asked. The cyborg general strode up beside the slang shooting, punk mouthed captain of the ship.

"The Jedi dudes have escaped our mad hold man! They are like totally on floor 345!"

"What?! NOOOO precious! That's the bikini shop floor precious! We mustn't let them purchase bikinis!"

"You're right! That would be like totally whack dude!"

"Ew precious! Sickening, precious! ACTIVATE RAY SHEILDS PRECIOUSIZZLE!"