AN: So yay. This chapter is a little longer than normal. It's partially Pervert Bitch's fault. I'd like to thank girldark and MySite and all those who are reading and enjoying my story. I really enjoy writing this and I'm going to stick to it. Although I'm going to have to let you guys know that the next segment might take more time to get out. I've been trying to get them out once a month or so. This time other aspects of my life are getting in the way (cough-grades-cough) so it might take so more time. Or not. Just be forewarned.

Please keep reviewing!

Chapter Seven: Golden Eardrops

"I apologize, Poppy," the headmaster said over Severus' shoulder. "I should have come sooner. Ulric the Oddball and Hambleton Quince relayed the message that a student was in danger… but you see…they tend to be a bit eccentric. I didn't quite believe them at first..."

"It's quite alright, Albus," she sat, patting Potter on the back as he retched into a bin. "Luckily a responsible student was there to take care of him."

Snape felt himself redden again instantly, Responsible student? Well, perhaps he might have been…

"Will he be alright?" Dumbledore asked, pointing a crooked finger to the red lump that was Potter.

"He just needs to stay hydrated," she said. "His body will get rid of the poison better than I could. I think I will contact his uncle at tell him the effects of the overdose. He should stay here for a few days, to recover."

"It was… an accidental overdose, I'm assuming…"

The uncertainty in the headmaster's voice made them both turn to stare at Snape calculatingly. Did they suspect him of something?

Severus looked at James. Nervousness held it's chilly fingers around him. Surely Potter had been slightly suicidal, but should he keep his secret? He knew that the situation had to be extremely embarrassing for James once he was sober. But on the other hand, if he didn't tell, would Potter attempt this again? Would anyone be able to save him again? The right thing, which was somewhat obvious before, now was clouded behind a dementor's cloak of fear: fear of Potter himself if he did tell, and fear of what might happen if he didn't. Coward, the voice from his dreams resurfaced. Finally he whispered, "I'm… not so sure of that, Professor."

Dumbledore raised a white eyebrow.

"I… it's hard to explain," his voice shook. "But… Potter…at first I thought it was an accident. He said he 'might have had too much' or something. But then he said… 'life is stupid'… and I'm not sure…"

"Show me," said Dumbledore, and for a moment Snape thought he meant for him to physically act out the scene himself. But, a white, wrinkled hand lifted a wand, and those sparkling blue eyes bore into him.

The floating sensation of intellectual nakedness, and he was back twenty minutes ago. Potter sprawled out on the floor, his wand ready, the smell of firewhiskey, a mixture of guilt and confusion, "Lily doesn't love me. Life is stupid right now." Red arms spread wide like Jesus Christ and a whisper, "Fate." His own voice hissing, "Potter. Get up…" He hoisted Potter up across his back and began to walk down the hall…

…a voice bubbling into the surface of his thoughts…

"Kill me like you killed him, you coward!" James' Messy hair…almond-shaped Green eyes…

And then the nakedness was gone. He was conscious, clothed, and in the middle of the hospital wing. What was left was a feeling of a monkey observed in a cage; confused, flattered and panicked at the eyes that were looking at him all around. "What was that?" Severus whispered.

"Legilimency," said Dumbledore. "I apologize for intruding into your mind, but desperate times call for desperate measures, as the saying goes. This is a very sensitive issue, Severus, and I had to be sure to get the facts."

"Intruding my… you mean you read my mind?"

"Something like that," he smiled. "The mind isn't exactly a book, but that is the general idea."

"How?"

"I'm afraid that's a story for another time," he said with amiable firmness. "First I must ask you… who was that strange person yelling at you near the end. I don't mean to be obtrusive but does he have anything to do with James Potter?"

He played with a fray in his robes. "No… just a dream I had."

"I see," he sighed. Noticing the murderous looks from Madam Pomphrey, he whispered, "Perhaps we should continue this conversation elsewhere. If you would follow me to my office."

Severus was only happy to comply.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Twenty minutes later he sat across from Albus Dumbledore's desk. He never had had a reason to be in the Headmaster's office before, and now that he was there, he felt rewarded somehow. To be in the presence of knowledge in it's rawest forms… books filled with magic far beyond his dreams, silver instruments whistling away, knickknacks everywhere that he hadn't even the slightest clue as to their purpose, sleeping headmasters in their frames… Severus felt as though a student being punished shouldn't be allowed in Dumbledore's office ever. Rather, Dumbledore's office should be a meeting place of the elite, a center for parties or something similar as the Slug Club. Yet, Dumbledore didn't seem like that kind of man. He didn't have to sniff out and hide behind powerful people the way Slughorn did.

As Dumbledore set a tray of tea down, Severus couldn't help but think that when the headmaster sniffed out "favorites", it wasn't to use and manipulate them, but to teach them, to educate them, to take them under his wing. Snape reached for a cup, which danced away from his fingers. He felt as if he had been chosen as an elite, a favorite, someone Dumbledore wanted to teach. He tucked his magenta hair out of his face and sipped at the now-imprisoned teacup. The sat in amiable silence, as Severus wondered what on earth that basin filled with glowing liquid was for.

Albus Dumbledore halted his musing with his gently firm voice, "I'm very proud of you, Severus." Apparently he was; the tea was very good. His sparkling blue eyes bore into him again, "You did a great thing today. Helping a person who tirelessly makes fun of you is a very noble thing. Worthy of Gryfindor courage, Ravenclaw intelligence, and Hufflepuff… em…"

"Eh, Loyalty?" Severus supplied.

"Sure," the headmaster bit into a vanilla cookie, spilling crumbs into his tea. "In any case, you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes, my boy, you surprise me with your nobility."

Severus made a pained face. He was only a halfblood. He wondered if the headmaster would say the same thing if he knew of his muggle father's alcohol addiction. He was no nobler than a newspaper salesman. Nobles wore fine silk and embroidered cloaks… he could barely afford his school robes…

"Don't get the wrong idea," he folded his knobby fingers together on his lap. His blue eyes seemed to read his thoughts. "Nobility has many wrong connotations… I've always defined nobility as a form of rare moral character. Someone who, beyond all logic, fights for every human soul he can save. Even if that means that this is an enemy." He polished his half-moon glasses on a white handkerchief. "And that's not a chap you meet every day, let me tell you… a few years have gone by without me finding even one. Sadly, I don't think James Potter is a noble person, but he tries his best and… perhaps things will get better, now that you've… proven yourself."

Severus' face, despite being honorably esteemed by a great mentor, was in a frown. "Sir… might I ask a potentially rude question?"

"As long as you don't swear, go on."

"Do you believe yourself to be… a… noble person?"

After a few seconds, Albus Dumbledore smiled, but his voice was a bit deeper, a bit more serious, and a bit less energetic than usual. "You were always so good at cutting to the core of people, weren't you, Severus?" He got up, circling the table, indicating it was time for him to leave. "The question is, what to do with this great gift?"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Severus's self esteem had doubled by that afternoon. Finally, there was something he could kind of… sort of… be proud of. He treated himself to desert at lunch; he just couldn't refuse some of the Honeduke's chocolate he had stashed away, thinking to himself all the while… I'm a responsible student. Smiling with a brown smudge still on his bottom lip, he began to get out his quill and parchment only to remember that he had already finished his homework.

Snape had never been comfortable with having a lot of free time on his hands. Without friends to share it with, free time seemed pointless. Mostly it depressed Snape. Sometimes he would write in a journal, or look at potions materials, or enjoy a silent wank, but there were only so many things he could do without starting to feel somewhat lonely. So, not wanting to waste a good mood, he began towards the dungeons and the smell of potions. There he could experiment the afternoon away, if Slughorn let him.

He made his way into the tunnels below the castle, his nostrils flaring with the familiar smell of iodine. The wet, cool hole in the earth was like a safe haven. The dank stone walls hugged him. He belonged here, a slithering creature of the night in a dark cave, where the sunlight could not poke its derisive head into the cloud of his dreams, where Potter and his friends could not beat him in front of a crowd…

Where a young woman named Lily was not a traitor.

"Severus!" she said, raising a hand to her mouth to stifle the small smile that formed from the sight of his magenta head. "Oh… oh… Severus! I'm so sorry!"

She had invaded his thoughts, his dreams and now his home.

Her lipstick had smeared again, on the back of her hand. He loved it when she was so careless like that. He felt perverted. She was so sorry and so pure that he could hardly believe she was standing there, so apologetic. "I… I've been waiting for you…" she said. He must be dreaming. He turned his back on the shadow or apparition without giving it another thought.

"Wait… Severus! I know you must be really mad at me, but please try to understand, I was only trying to help you. James wasn't going to listen to me if I told him 'no'… he'd just do what he always does… you know… ask me to go out with him…" He tried not to let the apparition convince him. But his memories bubbled with examples. He remembered soup foaming in his mouth as James yelled cockily, Go out with me, Evans. He wasn't sure if it was because the shadow was right or the memory itself but he felt even more furious. It hadn't been the only time that had happened. And when she denied him he just continued to torment him… "You know I didn't mean for it to go that far… I just didn't want James to hurt you…"

She was practically chasing him now, but suddenly he turned and Lily fell into him, her delicate hands on his chest. "Oh, really? I don't think that has anything to do with it at all. You could have gotten a teacher, or done something else. You're just telling me that you've played him for a chum just as much as me," he snarled. "Why don't you just tell him to go fuck himself and leave you alone?"

"Well, because I didn't want James to think… that…" she trailed off, not meeting his eyes.

"You hussy," he hissed the words without even trying to restrain them. With a wave of hot anger he lost all logic and reason and pushed her against the wall. Her wrists were in his hands as he shoved them over her head. Her panicked breaths only furthered his furious reaction. "Can't admit what you really are, can you? You'd rather look perfect to James and let me suffer."

"Severus…" She shrunk from his mad eyes.

"Why are you always like this? Toying with me? You never will love me as much as I love you!"

He didn't mean for his comment to come out that way. Despite being pinned against the wall her full-lipsticked lips were being to form an astonished smile. "I didn't mean for that to be a complement!" Severus shouted, but she was still smiling softly. "God damn it, Lily! Stop that!" he let go of her wrists, feeling stupid all the while as she smiled even more at the sound of her first name (he rarely called her Lily). "It's not fair… to act like you love me and then treat me the way you treat me. Why do you do these things to me? Are you trying to-"

"You just said you love me."

Severus breathed out hot air of frustration. She had absorbed nothing of what he said. "Yes," he admitted, "and it seems to be a very bad life choice." He brandished a strand of magenta hair in front of her eyes.

"Oh, Severu…" she meowed, beginning to take him into a hug. But he refused to be swayed.

"But it doesn't really matter does it. It's just a token to you. A trophy. 'Oh look, another boy loves me.' Makes you feel better about yourself, doesn't it? It's about the only thing that makes you feel worth it. You just want to be the prettiest girl in school, don't you? You're trying to be perfect… Perfect little Lily. When all you really want is to make James hard, you fake hussy."

He shoulders were shaking like she might start crying any minute now. Snape tried to pretend he didn't care. "James doesn't… I….is… is… that all I am to you? A liar?" she asked in a small voice, bordering tears.

"Yes," he said.

She winced. Suddenly his flesh was aware of her body pressed against his. Her firm breasts against his chest, her gorgeous red hair mixing with his… he could count the freckles on her reddening cheeks. And… perhaps he'd seen to many muggle movies of this situation, where two people were as close as they were now, the man slowly descended his lips, the woman's leg lifting off of her heels, and before he knew it he was imitating them. The shock of her lips willingly against his made his head jump ever so slightly. Was his first kiss happening so soon? The velvety softness of her lips erased stress and memory for a few seconds. He tried to lick the annoying lipstick off of her bottom lip, earning a coo of appreciation. Her lips opened, letting him delve inside. The electric motion of their tongues meeting, and he pulled away. He didn't let the kiss linger.

He wondered briefly what arousal felt like for women. She was flushed, breathing deeply, her eyes clouded with lust. He resisted the urge to explore. "Yes," he said again. Those eyes… deep forest green… the same from his dreams and nightmares… coward, coward. Poison was lurking in those misty eyes; he could smell it beneath the flowery perfume. He wanted to taste it, the poison hung on his thoroughly-kissed lips and he licked them, staring at her half-opened mouth.

"Severus Snape… you never fail to surprise me."

Minerva McGonagall's voice sent him pummeling from the cloud of arousal to earth yet again. She was becoming a professional at it. His whole face felt like burning coals, as she smugly waltzed toward him, "Ten points from Slytherin. Public display of affection is quite unlike you… and the girl… what house was she in? She ran away too quickly." It wasn't until then that he realized the space between him and the wall had been evacuated. He could hear distant footsteps and listened longingly where Lily had gone.

"She's in Gryfindor," said Severus, giving her the dignity of not mentioning her name.

McGonagall raised one slender eyebrow, giving him The Look. She sized him up with her tabby eyes, and finally meowed, "I don't believe you. Five more points for lying." And she stalked off, leaving a fuming Snape in her wake. The injustice of it all…

It was then that Severus began to define 'nobility' as 'stupidity'.