Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me unless otherwise stated. Ask Mrs Rowling if you want.
Author's Notes: Well, I added these notes after writing Chapter 6. You see, I realised from one of my readers that the first 5 chapters of this story are quite drab and a touch too much cliché. Well, rather than rewrite my whole story, or be irresponsible and abandon it, I decided that I would add some notes to the beginning of it all.
After rereading, I realised that, indeed, the reader is correct. I don't blame you if you don't like my introduction, but please read the rest of my story. I suppose you could skip some parts of the beginning 5 chapters, as they don't have much action and are more of setting the tone for the fic, as well as adding some emotion to the characters.
Aside from that, just the normal: please read and review.
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Dear Cho,
I know things haven't been right between us since we broke up. Even as I struggle to tell you this, I know that I must, or I will never be at rest.
I am sorry. My great insensitivity was probably the cause of the unwanted situation last year at Hogsmeade. Even now I realise that we may not be meant for each other. Nonetheless, even friends have disagreements, and I admire your sensitivity and wittiness, just as I admire Ron's bravery and Hermione's determination.
Once again, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding between us.
See you in September at Hogwarts.
Harry
Harry sighed. He had spent almost two hours forcing himself to sit down and right the letter, with many failed attempts lying crumpled in the waste basket. He wasn't satisfied with the latest go, and he felt as if a Ravenclaw had written it due to all the formal language, but put it aside to give to Hedwig to send to Cho at night anyway. Hermione told him that it would ease his feelings if he simply expressed himself. At the moment, he felt no such thing.
He then set to work on letters for Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna, and just about whoever he felt the urge to thank, apologise to, congratulate, encourage, sympathise, or whatever.
Being practically exiled to his room since he arrived at Number 4 Privet Drive, Harry found that corresponding with friends was an excellent way to pass time. The Dursleys chose to ignore him and would simply slip some food through the cat-flap after their mealtimes.
After all the rage and anguish he felt when Sirius died, Harry was simply weary. He was sick of everything. Sick of how the Ministry were contradicting what they said last year when they opposed Harry, and now called Harry "The Wizarding World's Last Hope". Sick of how no one seemed to understand how he felt about his godfather's death. Sick of being a danger to all those around him. Sick of living in this prison.
Yet this hardly fuelled his anger. His anger was spent after he threw his tantrum in the headmaster's office. Instead it brought a new feeling, one which Harry was not used to feeling.
Hopelessness.
He was just a sixteen-year old boy, what was the world expecting of him? Dumbledore hadn't said a single word to him since that night in the Ministry, nor anyone else in the Order. Worst thing was, Harry didn't even know where he wanted to be. Grimmauld Place meant numerous adults and friends sympathising with him, offering pitying looks when they could hardly feel what Harry was going through, not to mention the memories of Sirius…
Sirius Black. Harry's father's best friend. The supposed traitor who, until a few years ago, was thought to be responsible for James and Lily Potter's death. Once, Harry's sole thought was to end the man's life. Now he felt infinite grief for the man's passing at the hands of the Death Eater, Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Why must my life be such a mess?" Harry asked Hedwig, who simply gazed with an unfathomable expression at her owner and hooted.
"HARRY! SHUT YOUR BLOODY OWL UP!" yelled Harry's uncle from outside.
Harry sighed. That was possibly the longest statement ever said to him since they told him to rot in his room. He tossed Hedwig an owl treat before slumping on to his bed, staring blankly at his Potions book as he tried to suppress the thoughts of Sirius, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and the whole attack at the Ministry.
We messed up big time. And it's all my fault. I'm such a thick-headed idiot! Serves me right that I'm not allowed to leave the house. If I did I would probably go off like the rash fool that I am and get others into trouble!
The-Boy-Who-Lived suddenly felt like The-Boy-Who-Writes-Letters. He was lying on his bed, staring at the cobwebs on his ceiling as he let emotions, thoughts and recollections consume him.
Before long, it was dinner time, marked by the passing of a plate of beans and ham through the flap in the door. After hastily eating the meal and ignoring the foul taste it left in his mouth, Harry sent Hedwig off with his letters, which were so many that the white owl could only carry half of them in one trip.
After sending Hedwig off, Harry, realising that there was nothing left to do, collapsed on his bed, deciding that he would send the other letters tomorrow.
Letters… He thought with a smile. Such wonderful things. No need to go through the embarrassment of telling someone to the face, time to think about what you want to say, no need to get all jittery looking at the person.
And with such light-hearted thoughts, he fell asleep.
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The Weasleys had just finished dinner when a snowy owl flew into the house and dropped three letters; one of Ron, one for Ginny, and one for Mr and Mrs Weasley. After hooting in farewell, Hedwig then left, with three more deliveries to make.
Dear Ron,
I'm fine at the Dursley's. They ignore me so all I do is write letters nowadays.
Anyway, so sorry for bringing you to the Ministry with me. I know I shouldn't drag my friends into this war, yet you have persistently stood by me whether it meant facing giant chess pieces, basilisks or a bunch of Death Eaters. Really, thanks. Man, I really don't know what to say now. I feel so hopeless and lost, but you and Hermione have been great to me, putting up with my temper and impulsiveness since I entered the Magical world.
Well, hope to see you again. I've been cooped up since I got here, but there's no real need to rescue me; ignorance from them is a change for the better.
Harry
The recipient of the letter couldn't help but quirk his eyebrow before turning to see his
sister's puzzled expression.
Dear Ginny,
Thanks for being there with me at the Ministry. I'm really sorry about what happened, and I shouldn't have brought your with me to face my problems. I will always be in your debt for being there with me despite my great folly and selfishness.
Ginny, I really appreciate your friendship through the years. Perhaps sitting in a room for a whole week with nothing to do but eat, write and think has helped me to realise how important all of your are in my life. The two of us may have started off a bit shy, but you have shown to be as much a Gryffindor as I can hope to become, and friendship of any nature is no small thing when one is preparing to face a dark wizard.
So I hope you can forgive for any grievances I have caused you in the past, intentional or otherwise, and I hope to see you again.
Harry
Ginny turned to face Ron, who had an eyebrow raised, then swivelled her head to see her parents' expression.
Dear Mr and Mrs Weasley,
The Dursley's are treating me fine. We have an unspoken agreement to ignore each other, which suits me fine.
I cannot properly express my gratitude I have towards your family. Your have raised me and shown me the love and compassion that I lacked for ten years. Not just that, despite the danger I have put Ron and Ginny through, I have always trusted you, and will continue to do so till my last breath.
With the new school year, we can only expect more danger and despair as Voldemort rises in power. I do not wish to deflate the festive mood of summer, but being associated with me puts your in danger; more than your would normally be in at any rate. Please, I am concerned for your safety, and if you want to sever ties with me, I wouldn't mind, knowing that I will not be the cause of your grief.
I hope to see your again. These are dark times, but that just makes me all the more grateful of your
Harry
Tears brimmed her eyes as Molly Weasley read the letter.
The poor boy, he's grown so much from the confused first-year when we first saw him. This war has forced him to mature too fast.
Nonetheless, she showed no other signs of emotion other than a few deep sobs. The Weasley brothers began to ask to see the letters, to which their youngest sibling refused.
"He just said sorry for the Ministry incident." She replied curtly, ignoring their pleas to show them the letter.
Ron, though, had nothing to hide and watched as his four brothers gathered around Bill, who was holding the parchment. They read it silently, before Fred exclaimed.
"Blimey! We got to get him outta there!"
"Agreed, dear brother. He's becoming too serious in that Muggle house." George chimed in.
"Oi! He explicitly said here that he doesn't want us to get him out" Their second-eldest brother said before cuffing the back of the twin's heads.
"Fred and George are right…" Their youngest brother added firmly.
"Of course we are." The twins interrupted.
Ron ignored them and continued. "He said he doesn't need us to rescue him. He's probably sulking in his room right now grieving." He faced his wide-eyed mother, a pleading look in his eyes.
Seeing her children so concerned about Harry touched Mrs Weasley's heart. She had always accepted Harry into the family, but now her children were all ready to help him out of his predicament. While a part of her wanted to get Harry into proper company immediately, she had the overpowering duty to ask Dumbledore first.
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"My dear Fawkes, I can only hope that I have not lost the poor boy's trust." A tired Albus Dumbledore said to his phoenix as he watched Hedwig deposit a letter on his table, before setting off with one last letter attached to his talon.
Unrolling the paper, he began to read.
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
First and foremost I'd like to apologise for my behaviour the other day in your office. I understand that, despite the situation, I should have had tighter reins on my temper, and only hope that the damage I caused was not permanent.
Upon reading this, the corners of Dumbledore's lips rose. Most of the items were repaired with a simple reparo, though some certainly needed a good deal of work to get back in working condition.
However, I would like it if there were fewer secrets kept between us. So often I have not been given the information I felt I should have known. This war has caused so many children to age faster than before, especially Ron, Hermione and I. I don't think we're too young to handle any information which could potentially be vital for our safety.
There is also the matter of nightmares. Perhaps the root cause of the mishap at the Ministry was not only my foolhardiness but Voldemort penetrating the defenses of my mind. Occlumency is not going well and I would like to ask for a different teacher.
There are, of course, many matters to discuss which are too important to be written in a letter. I would like to see you soon, Professor.
Harry
Dumbledore nodded his head in relief. Though Harry was pent up in his room, he wasn't shutting himself out from the world but was writing letters to his friends. That was a good sign. There had also been no mention of Sirius.
He may have accepted the loss…or he may be in denial, still disbelieving that the closest person to a father he ever had was killed. Perhaps he just doesn't want to include it in the letter, preferring to talk about it to someone he was closer to, or maybe it's still a sore topic for him.
The old headmaster let out a long breath. He turned towards his phoenix companion.
"Fawkes, dear friend, these are troubled times." He said, before moving out of his room to find a teacher.
An Occlumency teacher.
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The pecking of an owl's beak on the closed window stirred Hermione from her studying. After dog-earing the page, she went to the window and admitted the unmistakable owl.
"Hedwig!" She cried. She was glad that Harry had sent her a letter. What she feared was that Harry was sulking in his room killing himself, but the fact that he wrote a rather detailed note showed otherwise. The girl then let the snowy owl rest on her bedside table, clucking as she had nothing to offer Harry's owl. Her family was, after all, staying quite far away from Privet Drive. The brown-haired girl saw the last letter attached to Hedwig, but knew better than to nose into Harry's life.
She sighed as she opened the letter. Harry sounded so…formal. In all her years with him, he was always honest and frank. Now he sounded like Percy! Hermione's tongue's tongue clucked loudly as she calmed down. It's just because he's staying in a room, devoid of social interaction for a whole week which is causing him to write like this. Just talk to him, he'll be fine, rationalized her sharpened mind. Taking a calming breath, she mused on her chair, thinking about how to reply to his letter.
It was long after she had sent the snowy owl on its way that Hermione began scribbling on a parchment, making her way through the maze which was Harry's emotions, trying to reach and analyse his heart.
For his sake, if no one else…
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The next day began with Uncle Vernon yelling at Harry from outside the room.
"Are you bloody deaf? Your aunt and I will be going to the hospital today! So don't try anything unnatural, understand?" He said as he barged into the room.
Harry nodded in reply before his uncle slammed the door shut. Once again, Harry sighed. Instead of pondering on which hex he should use on his uncle when he was of age to do
so, Harry gave Hedwig some treats and fresh water. The owl had come back late in the night after an exhausting trip to four locations, and he probably had to use her again soon.
At that moment, an aging owl flew into the room, carrying three letters. Harry at once identified the bird as Errol, the Weasley's family owl, and fed it a few treats before letting it return to Harry's adopted family.
He began to smile as he read the warm letters.
Hey Harry,
Have you gone daft? All five of us went there knowing what we were about to face. We should be thanking you for preparing us with the D.A so that we could defend ourselves against those nasty Death Chewers!
Anyway, arrangements are already being made to get you out of that rotting room. You should have heard F&G discussing the pranks they're gonna pull on your relatives! Well, whatever it is, we're probably gonna get you here at the Burrow tomorrow, after lunch. We've told Dumbledore, and he agreed, something about you having already stayed there a week.
Seeya real soon mate! Mum's gonna get you stuffed like an ox when you get here!
Ron
Harry's grin only widened as he read on. It was just like Ron; so honest, so plain, so sincere. Unlike the letter he had sent.
Moving on, he put Ron's letter aside and read the letter from the Weasley parents.
Dear Harry,
It's so good knowing that you are fine, dear, with your godfather's passing and all. We just want you to know that we'll always be there for you. We're already a target for supporting Dumbledore so having you as an adopted son is truly our pleasure.
Speaking of which, Ron will probably have told you that we'll be coming over to get you out. Professor Dumbledore believes that you have fulfilled the blood bond by staying at the Dursley's for the past week, so we'll see you tomorrow at 2pm. We'll use the Floo network, so you should warn those relatives of yours.
Bill and Fleur will also be getting married soon. I hope you have dress robes but if you don't we can always take a trip to Diagon Alley, since the wedding is only in three week's time.
I know it's a hard time for you, losing those close to you and being under threat of You-Know-Who, but we're helping you all the way, dear, and you can ask us for help if ever you need it.
Yours truly,
Molly and Arthur
Harry felt a warm glow in his heart as he read those words. Mr and Mrs Weasley were and will always be his parents, even when Sirius was there. There was just something about Molly Weasley's motherly glow and Arthur Weasley's kind cheerfulness that made Harry feel part of the Weasley family.
Harry then picked up the last letter.
Hey Harry,
Shut up you stupid git! We all went to the Department of Mysteries knowing full well the dangers and we WANT to accompany you in whatever you do. It's what friends do.
Fred and George are completely barmey over their latest line of products, which I believe they'll use on your cousin when we see you tomorrow. I shan't spoil your surprise, though I expect Mum and Dad to get quite mad over them, but I suppose it's worth it.
Oh, and I don't quite care what we have to do to kill Voldemort, we'll do it together. It's not just a battle between you and Voldemort, Harry. Each of us have a part to play in ending his tyranny.
Anyway, looks like we're going to see you real soon. I think Mum also invited Hermione over. Can't wait to see you!
With love,
Ginny
Harry let out a small chuckle. Ginny was so alike her brother, yet so different. Like Ron, she was honest, brave and hot-tempered, but she could understand people's feelings much better than her brother and was far more mischievous.
Scariest of all, he was beginning to fancy her.
His best friend's sister! It…it just wasn't right!
If you like her then not even Ron should be able to stop you.
What if…because of it, the Weasley's hate me.
Don't be an idiot! They love you like a son! Anyone can see that! They would be glad that it's at least someone they know!
Harry then shut out the voices in his head. It was testament to his solitude that he often discussed issues with himself.
Of course, another problem with his relationship with Ginny was the presence of a particular Ravenclaw female. Theoretically, they were over, and Harry didn't really expect Cho Chang to reply. The letter he sent her was more to clear his conscience; a half-hearted attempt at reconciliation.
Which is why he was surprised to see a small, grey owl fly through the window and leave a letter from the girl-in-question on the table.
He sighed. Letters made life so much more convenient, but right now they were a hassle.
Dear Harry,
There is much I want to tell you, but I think such things should be done personally. In case you're wondering, I'm staying in England. Anyway, I accept your apology even as I apologise to you myself.
I admire your courage and modesty, and I believe your bravery has been apparent more than once. Throughout your life you've been faced with so many challenges yet have come out victorious but humble, and it would really be my pleasure for there to be friendship between us. I know that the battle ahead is tough, but I want to offer whatever help I can. I know I'm over-sensitive most of the time, but a that shouldn't get in the way of companionship.
Oh and by the way, I broke up with Michael a while ago; he simply wasn't the boy I thought him to be.
Yours truly,
Cho
Harry wasn't sure if he had woken up. What Cho said didn't make sense. She admired him for putting him and all his friends in danger? This girl completely flummoxed him! He was half-expecting her not to reply or to berate him, which would have given him the excuse to never speak with her again. Still, he was sincere that he didn't mind her as a friend. Well, as long as she didn't start crying when he was fighting Voldemort anyway.
"Girls…" he muttered, "They are probably the most infuriating things ever. Can't live with them, but can't live without them."
Oh and that didn't even begin to summarise his thoughts about the whole Ginny-Cho equation. He loved them, but that was pure lechery. He had no rights to them and they owed him nothing. It would be unfair to love them both but it seemed worse to only love one.
That's not important…kill Voldemort first, girls later.
He desperately needed to get in control of his mind sometime during the summer.
"Harry! We're back! Come down now! Don't sit there lazing about you ungrateful miscreant!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the driveway.
Perhaps chores will take my mind off the letters. He thought, knowing full well that the contents of the letter were going to haunt him for the rest of the day.