A/N: First, sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. For me it was a tricky one to write. Second, thank u to me new kick ass beta reader who loved this chapter, without her u would never see this. LOL. So read, review & enjoy.

Its four o'clock in the morning and I'm sitting in Luke's diner waiting for my coffee to finish brewing. The aroma of his coffee beans covered the diner like a thick blanket. I never did find out what kind of coffee beans he uses, but mark my words, one day one of the Gilmore women will learn the secret. Well at least the hope was always there. My mother has always had her way with Luke. Maybe one day she would learn his best kept secret. On second thought... it's not likely. If Luke ever spilled his secret, he'd lose his big business. My mother and I.

Surprised. That would be stating the obvious. He was definitely not expecting me to show up on the doorstep of the diner this early in the morning. So the awkwardness was most definitely present.

"Jess? Wow," were the only two words that flowed from his lips. Not even a complete thought, but I couldn't complain. I woke him up in the middle of the night and if two fragments of a complete thought is his response, I'm happy. At least the silence is over.

Wrong. The silence seemed to smother the entire setting again.

I could tell he wanted to say something. I watched as he parted his lips every now and then as if he knew what he wanted to ask. The fear of the words coming out and being construed under the wrong subtext was probably the driving force behind the constant jaw retraction that kept his mouth tightly closed.

"Luke."

"Rory."

"I think we established this earlier. Me Rory. You Luke."

"Rory," he repeated as he poured the steaming liquid into a classic pale blue coffee mug.

"Luke." I repeated his name. At this point I knew it was annoying him to no end but really it was entertaining at best. I had to do something to lighten the mood especially since I knew the conversation was heading toward an intense and sore subject for the both of us.

"Jess." He repeated the name for the first time since his fragmented response to my going to New York.

I nodded as I added two teaspoons of sugar and a touch of cream to the steaming beverage. Just like my mother. After all my love for coffee was courtesy of the queen of caffeine intake herself. I swear that woman drinks at least several cups of coffee daily. That's on a slow day. "Coffee's great." I mutter out after my first sip. "Exactly what my shrink ordered."

"You're welcome." He said as he rested his hands on the counter and braced himself. Luckily I was the only one in the diner because poor Luke looked ready to topple right over. The dark circles under his eyes led me to believe that perhaps he was suffering from insomnia or maybe he was starting to become a narcoleptic. I mean he looked ready to pass out right then and there. Perhaps even sleep standing up. Did Luke sleep standing up? What a scary thought. Imagine Luke standing up – asleep - like Dan Akroyd in Coneheads. Nah. I've seen his apartment. There was no mattress straight up against the wall. Maybe he stood against the wall with no mattress and slept. Not likely. Oh well.

Seeing Luke in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white tee. No baseball cap. That alone should have been a shock to my system. I think I've seen Luke in flannel almost everyday since I've known him with the exception of about five times when there was something important like my graduation and he wore a suit. However, he had the funky bed head hair. That was enough to shake the astonishment. Note to self: Comment on Luke's attire later. Mom would kill me if I missed the opportunity.

I could feel my body start to tremble. Apprehension. Part of me was not ready to have this conversation. The other part was already half way to New York intent on finding Jess. I'd arrive at where ever he was staying and knock anxiously on the door...

"Are you really sure?"

"Huh?" He caught me completely off guard. I was deep in my thoughts about the next step. The future. My future. Jess. My future with Jess. All racing through my mind at once.

"Going to New York. That's a big deal." He stated as he refilled my nearly empty mug.

"Yeah," I hesitated to say. Why am I hesitating? This is Luke. Luke Danes. The man who's been in my life for as long as I can remember. I should be able to talk to him about stuff like this. Who was I kidding? Luke was and probably will never be the go to guy when dealing with emotions and relationships. But Jess is his nephew. Luke was the bridge that was going to help fill the gap between Jess and I.

"This really isn't my thing Rory. I mean you need help building a shelf or moving boxes I'm the one you call but maybe you should..."

"My mother won't understand this Luke. She'll wonder what Jess did this time that would cause me to go chasing after him. And yeah, I'll have to tell her eventually but I want to be well out town... maybe even the state before I tell her."

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"It's crazy and completely out of character for me. I'm not the one that runs after people. I never was. But with Jess..." I did not finish my thought. How could I possibly put into words what it was like with Jess? I'm pretty sure that there are no words. I wrapped both hands around my mug. Bringing it slowly to my mouth, I part my lips and tilt the warm mug gently allowing the liquid caffeine to enter my mouth. I swallow hard allowing the warm liquid run down my throat. "Of course I'm sure." I finally spit out.

He reached over to the antique looking cash register and grabbed a pen. He pulled a napkin from the dispenser then looked at me one last time. It was a look that he seldom used and I've only seen him do it a few times before with my mother. It signified that he was concerned for my well being but he knew that it would be much easier to help by giving me an address rather than sending me on a wild goose chase in New York City.

I watched in wide-eyed anticipation as he pressed the pen against the napkin. A few quick strokes of his wrist and before I knew it the napkin was in front of me. Three lines of black ink filled the paper.

"Just be careful Rory." He warned with a tone of genuine sincerity.

I grabbed the napkin and shoved it into the pocket of my coat. "I promise." I assured him as I slid off the stool and headed towards the door with Luke not far behind.

He opened the door before I had a chance to reach for it. He ushered me outside into the dimly lightened streets of a silent Stars Hallow with a single hand gesture. Once my feet met the sidewalk, I quickly pivoted to see Luke still standing there. "I'll tell Jess you said hi." He shook his head in amusement. If he laughed... I may have passed out. I'm not used to seeing Luke laugh or even being mildly amused at something so... so... so... girlie.

I started to walk away from the diner and I was heading towards my car. Damn it! Damn it Rory! I scold myself. I just realized that my car was back at campus and I took a taxi here. Now I'm up creek without a paddle. I glanced over my shoulder to see if Luke was still standing there. Nope. The diner was dark again.

I start walking towards town square, figuring at the very least, I can pull up a bench and think of what I'm supposed to do now. I can feel the dew from the grass against my ankles as I trek across the square and plopped down on the nearest bench. I searched around in my pockets for I don't even know what. Lo and behold, I pulled out my keys. Figures Rory. You have the keys here but you forgot your car. Idiot.

I looked down the street and had the classic cartoon light bulb moment. I braced my hands on the edge of the bench and pushed myself up. Straightening my skirt, I started down the road... down a road that I had, metaphorically speaking, never been down before.

I have to do this. I really don't have another choice. I argue with myself as I approach the door to my apartment. She doesn't want you anymore. She made her choice. It's not you. Get over it. Move on. But I can't. I really do love her.

I've never been the type that looks back and regrets the choices I've made or how I made them. Leaving without a word, without even saying goodbye. That's who I am. However, I do regret screwing things up with her to a point of irrevocable damage. At this point in my life – in our lives – we couldn't even be friends. So many things weren't done correctly or said when they needed to be said. Sometimes I wish we could go back to the way things were before all the angst that developed once we crossed that line. Who am I trying to kid? I loved crossing that line with her.

I fumbled with my key as I unlocked the door to apartment. I examined the room. Dan was sprawled out across his mattress in the far right corner. Passed out from a night of partying with his sometime girlfriend Christine, who without a doubt was still out with her friends Tami and Sarah, looking for an after party. I shook my head. This was definitely a classic Friday night ritual.

I looked over at the digital alarm clock that graced the counter next to the sink. 4:30. At anytime now, Todd and Chad would come through that door, inebriated – tripping over each other and everything on the floor – and loud enough to wake the dead. They'd turn on the small 13 inch television set, that Ben brought at the flea market, and play Mark's ancient Nintendo. I had to hurry and get out before they came back.

I walked over to the far left corner where my mattress laid. I grabbed my large black traveling bag from the right side of my bed. I grabbed at the clothes that I had left on my bed from the days before and tossed them nonchalantly into my bag. I reached underneath my pillow and grabbed the latest book I was reading - The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown – that I picked up on an empty bench in Central Park. I hadn't planned on reading the book. I'm not into the whole religion thing but I enjoy reading and if I left that book there it would have been a crime. I shoved that into the top of my bag and surveyed the room, making sure I had everything that belonged to me.

After a few moments, I was satisfied that I had everything I needed. I tossed the bag over my shoulder and started towards the door when lo and behold enter the peanut gallery. Actually more like two stars from Jackass but that wasn't the point.

"Heyyyy Jesssssss" they managed to stammer out in unison. What a bunch of morons.

"Bye." I say as I quickly try to leave. I have no patience for this kind of thing right now.

"Wa – wait," Chad said as he pushed on my chest preventing me from leaving. "Wh – where arrre you going dude?"

This is ridiculous. "I'm leaving." I say slowly so they were sure to hear me and possibly even understand the words.

"Youuuu coming ba – back?" Todd stammered out slowly.

"No."

"Dude, wh – why not?" Chad asked.

"I just have to leave. Now." I respond as vague as possible. "I just have to go."

"Well," a scratchy mumbled voice called from the corner of the room, "it's been real Jess." Figures. Dan decides to jump in on a conversation as it starts to deteriorate into a deafening silence.

"Yeah it has." I responded when the actuality of the situation was living there with these guys the past year has been the wake up call I'd been searching for. Living my life in a shitty apartment when I could have been living in Stars Hallow with Luke if I had just given my stupid pride up to save myself. I didn't, and it cost me everything I had. It cost me Rory. "I have to go now."

"Dude," Todd replied in a more sober tone, "at least stay for one drink... a toast to you."

"Not tonight."

"Then at least stay while we," Chad said pointing between himself and Todd, "have a drink."

I really should just play nice with these guys for the next ten minutes but I really can't get out of here fast enough. I have somewhere to go and somewhere I need to be. I could easily think of ten things I'd rather do that sit here and watch these two pour another drink down their throats... like burning a cigarette into my eye or take a dance class with Miss Patty. Hell I'd even sit through a round with Babette before I'd sit with these two while they further their quest to become completely obliterated.

"I really have to get going." I insist. "I have to be somewhere and it can't wait," I lie. The truth is I still have no idea where I'm going. I know it's away. Far away. I like the idea of that place... wherever it maybe.

I pass by them and make my way into the hallway when Todd calls my name out. "At least give us a buzz when you get where you're going." He began. "You know, so we know you're alive or whatever if anyone comes here looking for you."

I nod my head and head towards the elevator. If anyone comes here looking for you. Right. The only person that even shows a partial interest is Luke. Even he barely makes the effort. It's kind of pathetic when you think about it, that it took my mother getting married for him to make any sort of contact.

I finally make it back to the parking garage and my car. I open the back driver's side door and toss my bag into the seat before slamming it shut. I quickly open my door and slid into the seat. I place my keys into the ignition and turn them in place to start the engine. You can hear the engine kick over and the silence is drowned by the slight roar of the engine.

This is it. I tell myself as I back out of my spot. On the road to a new beginning. Alone. That's the way it was going to be. I'm okay with that. Not really.

I lied. I really wish that Rory was here with me.

"Curse the person who invented alarm clocks," I think to myself as I reach my hand around to search for the snooze button on that insane piece of technology that she made my buy. She told me that it would make me on time for things and I actually believed her. Now I see all the evil lies behind her making me purchase this. She resents me for making her watch Pluto Nash and Holy Man.

"Shut up!" I finally yell at the machine as I find the snooze button. I stretch out across my bed as I realize that I do have to get up and start my day. I kick the covers off my legs and still I end up on the floor. I search for my slippers under my bed. I give up after finding only one.

I start making my way downstairs and feel the need for coffee. I always feel the need for coffee. Luke's coffee will come later. My coffee now will have to be made by me. Too tired to form complete thoughts. Must have coffee now.

I walk into the kitchen and I notice that my coffee maker is steaming. "What the hell?" I say as I walk over to the machine and examine it. It smells fresh. Looks fresh. Did I sleep walk and come down here and make coffee? No, couldn't be. I'm not a sleep walker. Maybe I've developed it without Rory here to monitor me.

I pour my coffee in a mug from the dish washer. I add my cream and sugar then I set my mug down on the counter while I go to retrieve the paper from the front porch. I grab it and throw it on the table in the kitchen so I can get my coffee.

"Almost there," I say as I prepare to glance through the paper, when I noticed a folded piece of paper on the center of the table with the word 'Mom' on the front. I smile. My Rory came to visit me and make me coffee. Awwwww.

I unfold the piece of paper and proceed the read the note she left for me. I'm expecting to read some meaningless quotes from the last movie we saw together... hell I'd even settle for a vague comparison to the last book she read... and I would have been happy with a Jessica Simpson reference. The chicken or tuna line never gets old. But this. What I'm reading... complete opposite of what I was expecting.

Mom –

I know that a note from me is the last thing you expected seeing as I'm supposed to be coming home today well... there's been a slight change of plans. Jess came to see me last night and before you start freaking out nothing happened which is why I'm leaving you this note. Okay that probably sounds bad but trust me on this. I have to go find Jess and tell him how I feel because Mom I really do love him. This past year I threw myself into school and tried so hard to forget how bad he hurt me and how much I missed just talking to him but last night he came to me and wanted another chance. I said no and as soon as he left I knew I was wrong. I said no because I was scared but being scared is what makes me know that this is real. Being scared helps let me know that he still makes me feel alive. He breathes life into me like no one else. I want the chance to tell him that. I need to tell him that. I don't want you to be worried because I am okay. Just make sure you're sitting down before you finish reading this. I really hope you're sitting down right now. When you go outside you'll notice your jeep is not exactly present. Well I kind of took your jeep. I left you the keys to my car in the basket by the door and my car is on campus. Long story and I promise when I call I'll explain everything. I love you mom. I'll call you later on today.

-Rory

I just sat there with my jaw open as I finished reading the note. She was off looking for Jess with my jeep. My daughter with my jeep looking for Jess. Trying to process this. Really I am. I need stronger coffee. "It's time to go to Luke's," I tell myself as I head upstairs to get dressed.