Auld Lang Syne

Chapter Four

Aaron slumbered in the sand just underneath the canopy of the common dinning hall. Sayid had known the toddler would never last until midnight, but the boy had made a valiant effort. Tonight, everyone had congregated to drink and talk and ring in the New Year with song.

The crowd began to gather in closer as midnight approached. The countdown would begin any moment. Sayid would draw Claire aside from the group soon enough; if he played his cards right, it would appear as if he was only attempting to keep her near the slumbering Aaron.

He fumbled in his pocket to feel the ring and cursed himself for not allowing Donnovan to weld it. Its width was uneven--the band would grow and shrink as it circled her finger--and he had been frustrated by the product of his efforts. He had wanted desperately to give her the personal, deliberate work of his own hands. Instead, he had wasted the silver.

He could wait until he was able to secure enough silver and have the welder make a perfect band, but it might be another month or more before he could convince Sawyer to give up the stash of metal. And Sayid had planned so carefully for this moment. He longed to be able to furnish Claire with a ring the instant they welcomed the New Year, because this was their new year, their new beginning, the fresh opportunity to be seized even while old times were not forgotten.

He would offer the band only as a temporary measure; he would explain that a more perfect replacement would follow, and he believed she would understand. He slid his sturdy hand over Claire's and tugged gently, pulling her back towards Aaron. She looked longingly at the group, which had just shouted "10" in unison, but Sayid nodded toward Aaron, and she followed.

"9!" cried the crowd, as Sayid slipped a hand into his pocket.

"8!" they announced, as he drew out the deformed band.

"7!" they exclaimed as it slipped from his fingers.

"6!" came the chorus as the ring dropped to the ground and hid itself in shadows.

"5!" chanted the survivors as Sayid fell with frustration to his knees and began to run his fingertips frantically across the sand in a blind search.

"4! " Sayid gritted his teeth in anger at himself.

"3!" It had all been planned, perfectly planned, and he had ruined the moment with his clumsiness.

"2!" He had ruined it, and there would never be another opportunity quite like this.

"1!"

Claire's hand stilled his. At some point she had fallen to the sand with him. Her lips came down firmly on his mouth and she kissed him deeply, for a very long time. He forgot his anxiety until she pulled away, and before he could recall his frustration, she said, "Happy New Year, Sayid. Were you looking for this?" She held out the irregular band.

He let out a sigh. His eyes flickered away from hers. "I…I wanted to make everything…" She took his hand, stretched it open and placed the ring on his palm. He returned his eyes to her face as she closed his fingers over it. She was smilingly so brightly. He had utterly botched the moment, and still she was smiling just as he had imagined in his fantasy. "The answer is yes," she said softly.

Still reeling from his upset plans, he took the ring and slid it on her finger. He drew her to a standing position. Placing a hand on either of her shoulders, he looked her in the eyes and said, "I know the ring is uneven." He watched her stretch out her fingers and look at the band. "I was foolish and tried to make it myself. I will have Donovan fashion another. It may take awhile, but you will have a replacement. You will have the ring you deserve."

"No," Claire said simply, and she waved her fingers, still looking at the ring.

"What?"

"I won't be needing a replacement." She freed herself from his grip, glanced towards Kate, and motioned the woman over. As the last strands of "Auld Lang Syne" filled the air, Kate made her way to Claire. "I'm getting married," Claire said excitedly, showing off the ring. Kate's smile was almost as broad as Claire's, but not nearly so broad as Sawyer's, who had pulled up behind the pair and was peeking at the ring. He glanced from Claire's band to Kate's much more impressive one to Sayid. His smile grew even more smug.

"I am going to have a better one made," Sayid insisted, looking at the southerner. "This was purely a temporary measure."

Sawyer snorted. He took Kate's hand and turned it so the jewels in her band sparkled in the torchlight. Kate yanked her hand away. "James Ford," she hissed. "Leave him alone." She congratulated Claire one more time before dragging her own husband off.

"I told you," Claire said, "this ring is fine."

Sayid opened his mouth to argue with her, but she had turned aside and was immersing herself in the crowd, showing the ring to everyone. He felt the warmth rising to his cheeks, the hot shame mingling with the irritation. Why was she insisting the ring was good enough? Did she think he needed her pity? Surely she knew he was perfectly capable of providing her with the best. He could and he would produce a better ring. She deserved more than the simple, misshapen band that now caught the flames of the fire and gleamed in the sight of everyone. He would go to Sawyer tomorrow—he would offer any price for the silver, and then he would find the welder—

Sayid saw Claire turning the ring gently on her finger, holding her hand out to Rose, lifting her beautiful, contended face to smile in response to the older woman, and he was struck with the sudden revelation that Claire was not humoring him. She wanted that ring, and that ring alone.

Sayid's eyelids fluttered shut for a moment and then opened. Under the canopy of the dazzling stars, Jin sat in the sand and watched his daughter kneeling and rocking as if she were prepared to launch forward into a crawl. The infant never seemed to sleep, and the dark lines had begun to appear under Sun's eyes. Those eyes, however, were bright and shinning tonight, set off by the white gleam of her teeth as she smiled down at her husband and daughter. Just beyond the couple, Sawyer supported his dozing infant against his shoulder. The man had never looked comfortable holding the child, and he still didn't, but he was past the point of masking his obvious affection, and he kissed the top of the baby's head. Behind the fond father, Desmond's girlfriend was taking his sixth cup of liquor from his hands while the Scotsman conceded with a nod that it was time to stop. Nearby, Eko's broad smile grew as he carved something new into his prayer stick. A few feet away, Hurley and Rebekah laughed and talked. The young lady would occasionally slap a playful hand on the big man's back or chest in response to his words and then let her touch linger there. Hurley would react like a suddenly paralyzed man, clueless about what to do with his own hands. The young man finally used them to pick up a stray ball, which had been thrown by Zach to Locke. The hunter took it from Hurley, smiled at the young couple, and tossed it to Emma.

Sayid sensed some of the men drawing near him, slapping him on his shoulder, offering their congratulations, but he did not hear their words. He was watching Claire now, and he was beginning to feel a powerful pride in the way she wore the ring, in the way she held it out for her friends to view.

Claire understood. And now he understood too. They were all as flawed as that ring, every last one of them. They had all been somehow deformed in the fire that smelted them, in the flames that turned chaos into shape. Yet, in the end, the final product was a labor of love, and for all its imperfection, it served its purpose perfectly.

Claire came to him now, and he took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the ring along with her flesh. He raised his bent head to be bathed in the warmth of her gaze and murmured, "Happy New Year, Claire. I love you."