SUEvivor.
A/N: Grrr! Why didn't the link that I mentioned last chapter come up?! It was a really funny Mary Sue comic/cartoon thing about what happens when too many of them come to Hogwarts.
Speaking of the little devils, I just read the most sickening Mary Sue story in the world. I died a little when I read the retardedness. Died. Anyway, please review! J
CHALLENGE 4: THE VICTIM TEST.
Another week went by with nothing much happening. Sure, Rose Petal found a cure for some horrible disease, but what else is new?
With Aradia gone, things had become less intelligent because she was a Smart!Sue. Now there were only three left: Keanna, Vixen, and Forrest.
There was also increasing hostility between the Sues and especially between Keanna and Rose Petal.
Ever since Rose Petal and beat her up, Keanna had started planning out ways to destroy her.
//Jade S. and Stormy are on camera//
"So yeah, like we've sorta got an alliance together, cause we're like, friends and stuff." Stormy said.
"Yeah, we've decided we won't try to vote each other out, but we are going to try to get Rose Petal outa here. And even though we don't like Keanna, we're going to see if she'll help cause we know she hates her." Jade S. said.
"Yeah, Rose Petal is like, a major threat." Stormy said. "She could be more Sueish the me!!!"
"And not only that, but she's also a lying cheater! She said her parents were Lucious Malfoy and Belletrix Lastrange, but first she said her parents were dead!" Jade S. cried.
"Mmm hmm." Said Stormy. "Like, yeah."
//back to the Sue Room//
"Hey guys, we got our next challenge!" Vixen said, holding up the mail.
"Oooo! What is it?!" Rose Petal asked.
"It says: 'To the Sues: For this challenge, you will be leaving Hogwarts grounds and venturing into Hogsmeade. You will not, however, be privileged to do any shopping or any other activity that does not go along with the challenge. Please be there at 7:oo tonight.' "
"Oh man." Stormy said. The others turned around and saw Stormy, holding her purse and half way out the door.
"What are you doing?" Keanna said warily.
"I wanna go shopping!" Stormy sobbed.
XOXOXOXOXO
As the note instructed, the Sues went to Hogsmeade at 7 and waited for Jade H.
"Ohhh…" Stormy said dreamily, her hands on a window of a clothing store 'Mary Sues R Us.'
It was the place where all Sues got their skimpy little outfits.
"No," said Forrest, pulling her away. "The note said no shopping."
"B-but there's a sail on all fish net stuff!" Stormy sobbed.
"Good evening , Sues," said Jade H.
"Hi, Jade H," the Sues said dully.
"So, how's it going?" Jade H. asked.
"LOOK AT ALL THE FISH NET STOCKINGS AND MINI SKIRTS I COULD BE BUYING!!!!!" Stormy sobbed, falling to her knees as a young Mary Sue walked out of the store carrying many items.
"Not that good, huh?" Jade H. asked them. "Well, don't worry. Tonight you will be one step closer to achieving your goal of The Ultimate Mary Sue. Now, you may be wondering what your next challenge is.
Here is what you have to do: You will go into these cafés," a bunch cafés appeared out of nowhere. " And try to make as many men fall in love with you or go out with you as possible. Who ever gets the most the fastest will win tonight's immunity. Good luck, Sues." And with that, Jade H. walked off, laughing evilly.
"YAY! A FUN CHALLENGE! Don't worry girls, I got this down!" Stormy cried, racing to the café.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
//Jade S.//
Jade S. walked through the café, looking for people who would be good victims-I mean boyfriends.
Of course, seeing as how she's an author Sue, I'm going to exaggerate this beyond mercy.
At the sight of her, every male in the place dropped their cappuccinos and lattes and starred shamelessly, bewitched by her eyes, that were endless pools of…I don't…love or something.
They were the deepest brown and her long hair was the color of gold/ sunlight/ ripened wheat/ fresh from the oven biscuits.
When she sat next to the first victim- I mean guy, he wept uncontrollably from her strange beauty.
Huh, I think I could be a Mary Sue author now!
"Hi. My name is Jade, but you can call me DJ," Jade S. said, flipping her blond hair.
"Why would he call you DJ?" The victim's girlfriend said. She looked more then a little upset.
"Oh, ya know. My author's first name starts with a D and I need a cute little nick name," Jade S. said, again tossing her hair. "Anyway, will you fall in love with me?"
"Bluh..Bluh…Guh…Huhn..Mmmpf.." That was all the poor guy managed.
"So, that's a yes?" Jade S. asked.
He nodded his head violently, drool flying everywhere.
XOXOXOXOXO
//Stormy//
Stormy was not going through the café. She was setting up a booth a in front of the windows.
She had had to cast a repelling charm around herself because all the men were throwing themselves at her. Yes, that's why she was created, but with so many of them pouncing at her, she could get hurt.
So that's why she was setting up a booth, so that she could see her victims- I mean potential customers one at a time. And to make sure she didn't mess a man, she was wearing her No-Fail-Always-Get-A-Guy-Sexy-On-Her-Sluty-On-Everyone-Else-Skin-Tight red dress, three foot high heeled boots, and the staple of Mary Sue wardrobes everywhere, fish net stockings.
Also, too much mascara, lip plumping lip gloss (though her lips were already weighting her head down) and smoky eye shadow.
Once she had finished, she sat down at her booth and set a sign out that said 'Now taking boyfriends.'
When she released the charm, there was a flurry of movement as every man in the building rushed up to get to her.
"Please form a line and come up one by one-AAAAAAAA!!!!" Stormy and the booth were crushed under the mob of people.
"No, no!" She cried. "Get off-This is not helping-Ok, your not even going to be considered now…"
XOXOXOXOXOXO
//Harriet//
To prepare for the task at hand, Harriet had gotten eye contacts instead of just using her glasses. Now her eyes were 'deep sapphire blue.'
She sat down at a big table all alone and tried to look angst-y, with her curly ebony hair covering part of her face and her scar clearly visible.
The first guy came to her like a moth to a flame, his eyes glazed over by her beauty.
"Oh, hello." She said sweetly. "May I help you?"
"Wow….Your like…Really pretty. I can tell your sweet and innocent and full of angst. Will you date me?" The guy asked.
"Oh, really?! I didn't think anyone would ever wish to date me, not with my horrible disfigurement." Harriet hung her head, but proceeded to show her scar in better light.
"I think it's beautiful! Wait a minute, what did you say your name was?" The guy asked.
"Harriet Hope Potter." Harriet said slowly so he would not miss out on the fact she was The Girl Who Lived.
"You mean the sister of Harry Potter?!"
"Yeah, but it's a total secret, don't tell Voldemort!" Harriet cried, her eyes getting so wide her contacts almost fell out.
"Oh, wow. How did you get your scar?" The guy asked her.
Harriet blinked. That was one of the many things her author had left out,
"Oh, ya know….Um, when Harry got his scar, since I'm his twin, I got a scar too." She explained.
"Hmm. Why isn't yours in a lightning blot shape, too?" The guy asked her, frowning.
"DAMMIT! DO YA WANNNA DATE ME OR NOT??!?!?!?!?!?"
XOXOXOXOXOXO
//Rose Petal//
Rose Petal was so sure she would fail on this challenge. Who could ever love an ugly, ordinary girl like herself? No one, she thought.
So she sighed and applied her light pink lip gloss . Yeah, that's all she needed.
She wore her school uniform, ya know, cause she was so ORDINARY.
As she walked through the café, many people actually fainted and all the men's girl friends tried to kill her or something like that because they were so jealous of her natural beauty and grace.
"Hello." She said in her enchanting voice. "My name is Rose Petal Sapphire Delphinie Butterfly Karma Mary Susan Avaya Bella Delacroix Malfoy Black Dumbledore. What's yours?"
"Um, Jim, I think." The poor guy said.
"Well, Jim, how about you fall madly in love with me?" Rose Petal asked
"Yes, please." He said.
"Eeeeexcellent." Rose Petal said, putting her hands together. Then she got a wonderful idea.
"Excuse me, buy I need to stand here. You don't mind, do you?" She asked the woman behind the counter of the café.
"Of course not!" The woman said, throwing herself to floor, mumbling "I am not worthy!"
And so Rose Petal stood up on the counter. "Attention all men: If you are madly in love with me, raise your hand."
And of course, they almost all raised their hands, which lead to a violent argument about who loved her more and who she would choose.
"Maw hahahahahaha." Rose Petal laughed softly, and then she left.
XOXOXOXOXO
//Vixen//
Vixen walked into her assigned café, looking wildly beautiful of course.
She didn't actually have a plain of action, but she knew she could get all the guys she needed.
Upon her entrance, every jaw in the room dropped. She smiled. "Yes, all will go well." She thought.
Vixen looked around and made sure most guys were watching her. Then, she turned into a cat and jumped on to the table of the one closest to her.
"Oh, no! You weren't supposed to see that!" She said, pretending like it was a big deal.
"Wow, your amazing!" The guy gasped.
"I know. It's so difficult, being a talking animagus/ were beast. We're highly disliked, even though were also incredibly powerful and important," She said, turning back into a human and yet still sitting on his table.
"Oh, curse those anti-half breed people! How could they treat someone like you like that?!" The man demanded angrily.
"Yes, yes, it's awful. Why don't you go out with me and we can discuss it further?" Vixen said impatiently.
"Oh, of course!" The dude said enthusiastically.
"Wonderful. Now I must go and find more men. See you tonight." Vixen said, walking away to do it all again.
XOXOXOXO
//Forrest//
Forrest had been in the café for a while now and had only received a bunch of stares from some of the guys. "They must be gay." She muttered to herself.
She was beginning to worry that she would win the challenge. She pulled out her little mirror (of course a Mary Sue would carry a mirror. They usually carry more then one.) and checked herself. She looked fine. Her long brown hair looked sexy and everything! Maybe she wasn't being angst-y enough.
"Ahem." She said, coming up to the table of some guy. She tried to look all hurt and sad. "I don't mean to bother you, but can I borrow the salt? My table doesn't have any."
He looked at her strangely. "Why do you need salt for coffee?"
She blinked. "Will you go out with me?"
"Huh?" He asked. Then he looked at her. "Ah, OK."
She jumped in the air. "YES!!"
XOXOXOXOXO
//Keanna//
Keanna walked into her café feeling very confident. She had a plan that would help her win for sure.
As the came to the closet guy, who was sharing a table with his girlfriend, she used her powers to lift him out of his seat.
"Hello, I'm Keanna, daughter of the Dark Lord Voldemort. While I am against him and all his wicked ways, I will have him destroy any man who refuses to go out with me. Now, mister, will you go out with me?" She asked evilly.
"Y-yes, whatever just don't hurt me!!!" The guy sobbed.
"Anyone else?" Keanna asked everyone.
As an answer, everyone threw themselves at her feet, begging forgiveness.
"He hehehe." Keanna cackled and left the building.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
//OK, I'm assuming that's all the Sues that are left, so let's just get on with it.//
Jade. H was waiting for the Mary Sues to return.
They all hiked up the hill that lead to Hogwarts and stopped in front of her.
Stormy looked awful, all beat up. Her hair was even messed up, which never happened to Sues!
Rose Petal was just barely keeping all the guys away by making a force field around herself (you should know she can do that).
"Hello, Sues. How was the challenge?" Jade H. asked.
They all burst into excited chatter about their fun experience in making random people fall in love with them.
"Well, isn't that nice? It's so much fun to break the hearts of tons of guys! OK, Stormy. You obviously got a lot of men to….Attack you, I suppose. How many?" Jade. H asked.
Stormy smiled triumphantly, showing a chipped tooth. "Every man in the building!!!"
All the Sues gasped. Jade H. looked shocked. "B-b-but we purposely threw some gay guys in there! Just to make it harder!!!"
"Well, I did!" Stormy said happily.
"Wow! Rose Petal? How 'bout you?"
Rose Petal was giving Stormy a death glare. "I got all but two."
"Oh…OK. Hmm. Keanna?" Jade H. asked, giving Rose Petal a weird look.
Keanna smirked. "Silly mortal, I got them all, too!"
"Yes, you did, but the security cameras in the café show that you threatened to have your father kill them all if they didn't go out with you, so we have to take away all but ten of them." Jade H. said apologetically.
"WHAT?! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! I DEMAND TO HAVE THEM ALL COUNT! THIS IS UNFAIR! YOUR ALL JUST JEALOUS! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!" Keanna screamed.
"Not if you want to stay in the game you won't. Now Forrest, how many did you manipulate into loving you? "
Forrest looked very sad. "There were about 20 guys in my café. I regret to say that I managed to snag…7."
"Oh my head…Um, that's cool, you still did good. Vixen?" Jade H. said, turning to her.
"Oh…I would say…twelve out of fifteen of them."
"Thank god, some decent numbers! And Jade. S, how many fell in love with you?" Jade H. asked her Sue self.
"Well, I got all but four, but I think they were the gay ones." Jade S. said causally.
"Of course we did! So, Harriet, how'd you do?"
"Um, I used my angst to get all the people I could. It worked pretty well, cause it got me almost half the guys there." Harriet said, looking like someone who had no angst at all.
"That's wonderful! Now I will announce who wins immunity. This week's winner is…..
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
"……Stormy!"
"YAY! OH MY GOD I WON! I TOTALLY SAW THAT COMING!!!!AAAAAAA!!!!" Stormy screamed, jumping up and down.
"OK, Sues, please go back to your room until it's time for the voting." Jade H. said and the Mary Sues went back to the Sue Wing.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
That night, the Sues went to the Great Hall for the voting.
They found Jade H. waiting in front of the sorting hat, as usual.
"Sues, you know what to do. Stormy goes first." Jade H. told them.
Stormy smugly walked up to the hat and nodded at Jade S. before writing 'Rose Petal' on the piece of paper.
Keanna went next, also nodding at them. She too wrote Rose Petal. Jade S. and Stormy had talked to her after that night's challenge and she agreed to vote her out.
After they had all voted, Jade H. went and got the hat.
"OK, first vote, Rose Petal."
Jade S., Keanna, and Stormy grinned.
"Next, Rose Petal. Forrest. Rose Petal. That's three Rose Petal and one Forrest. Next, Forrest. Forrest. And the fourth person voted out SUEvivor is……….."
TWENTY MINUTES LATER…
"…Forrest."
"What?! But I'm not even a threatening Sue! Why vote me out?" Forrest demanded.
"Yeah, but your also not as fun to watch as say, Stormy or Rose Petal." Jade H. pointed out.
"Fine! Some day I'll make you all pay!" Forrest said, storming out.
"Oky doky, everybody go back to your rooms. I'll see you next week." Jade H. told them.
And they left.
END OF CHALLENGE FOUR.
NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: "I'm like, gonna nail this one!" Stormy said happily.
"That little //beeep// stole my idea! I was going to do that!!!" Keanna screamed.
END NOTES: I know there weren't any big surprises, but it would have called for a lot more stuff then I was planning on writing, and it would have made someone else got voted out. So here's the link again. If it doesn't come up, I don't know what's going on. Hope it works! Please review! J