A/N: Well, I'll try the freakin' link one more time and if it doesn't work out, it's not meant to be: http:// htm. OK, please review! )
Challenge 5: Talent.
All the Mary Sues were sitting in the kitchen eating ice cream and talking about their time at Hogwarts.
"So what house were you in, Stormy?" Vixen asked.
"Gryffindor, of course!" Stormy said looking surprised that she hadn't known.
"No, no. What Mary Sue house were you in?" Vixen explained. All Mary Sues were sorted into a certain house that was not in the canon world and based on what type of Sue they were. The author of this fic was sorted into the house Sparklypoo on a quiz web site.
"Oh, I was in TootsieTramp, obviously. It's where all the really sluty, gorgeous Sues go." Stormy said smugly.
"I was put in Sparklypoo, where all the annoying, perfect, classic Sues go." Said Jade S.
"I was put in there, too." Said Rose Petal.
"Jade, you should switch houses." Stormy declared.
"I was put into BitchWitch myself." Keanna told them. "That's where they put all the Sues who act all defiant and mean, but are really just broken hearted"
"Really? I was put into QanonRepe, because that's where the Sues that butcher cannon go." Harriet said.
"Oh, yes. I remember my days as a young Sue. I was sorted into BitchWitch, too, because my were-wolf-ness was making me horrible and only Remus could love me." Vixen said sadly.
"Oh, so tragic. Hey, the mail just came." Stormy said.
"How do you know?" Jade S. asked.
"Duh, telepathic!" Stormy said, jumping up to get the mail.
When she returned she was carrying the instructions for the next challenge.
"This is gonna be like flippin' awesome!" She screamed, slamming the letter down on the table so everyone could read it. It said: 'To the Mary Sues of Hogwarts. Your next challenge will be at 8:oo tonight. You will all be required to perform a talent in front of Jade H., her sister Raven, and a celebrity judge.'
"A talent show?! I'm like gonna nail this one!" Stormy cried.
"Crap, I have no talents that can be done like that!" Jade S. said sadly.
"Really? I have the perfect thing!" Keanna said.
"I hope the celebrity judge is Bob or Phil!" Rose Petal said enthusiastically. "I really hope they worked out their relationship. "
"Yeah." They all agreed, except for Keanna, who had rushed to her room (which she now only shared with Vixen) to plot what she would do.
//Keanna's cam//
"This is perfect!" She cried, eyes glowing with happiness. "I can use this challenge to show how depressed and miserable and self-hating I am! Also, it will show how hard my life has been! How, you may ask, do I plan to do that? By singing something angsty of course!"
"Hmm, which one is good enough to convey my feelings?" She asked as she started looking through her huge CD collection.
"AHA! " She cried. "Perfect!! 'Lonely Girl,' by P!nk!"
Keanna did not know that Rose Petal was listening to her every word.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
At eight, all the Sues headed to the Great Hall for the challenge, and all of them had great ideas.
As they entered, they found it had been changed to resemble a large stage with spot lights and stuff.
"Hello, Mary Sues." Jade H. said, standing up to greet them. "So, you know that my sister and I will be two judges, but do you know who the next one is?" She asked. They all shook their heads.
"Right. So will the celebrity judge please come out?" Jade H. called.
The red curtain was dramatically swept away and the most beautiful women they had ever seen came walking gracefully out.
She had hair that was not one color, but the perfect blend of several. Her eyes were swirling pools of blue, green, and violet, framed by long, somehow glittering eyelashes. And her skin was ivory, because it seems most Mary Sues are, and her dress was fit for a princess (she was the princess of the wizarding world, after all).
When she spoke, angels actually cried, for it was so pretty.
"Sues, this is K-Ka-no, it's Sa-Um-oh, I can't say it! This is last year's SUEvivor winner!" Jade H. announced. All the Mary Sues dropped to the floor bowing to her.
"Yes, yes, I am. And my name is very simple: Sakaganamkaylamarysuekatrina LoveBlossom Faith Amazinga (insert cannon connection name) 007. I have more power then anyone ever and am basically awesome. There's no way that any of you can be half as good as me, but one of you will be expectable." Whatsername said.
"Yes, well, Stormy won immunity last week, so she'll go first." Jade H. said.
Stormy nodded and went up to the stage as the judges sat down.
"Well, being an American!Sue, it was very hard to decide what I wanted to do since I have Sooo many talents. In the end, I decided on demonstrating my awesome powers." Stormy told them all.
"I don't even need to say the spell, I'm that good."
Stormy nodded to the people in charge of the lighting and the spot light went right on her. There was also a drum roll.
Stormy raised her right hand and it glowed silver (just like what Eragon's does when he does magic). Her hair billowed around her and wind swept through the Great Hall.
Suddenly lights flooded everywhere and a rushing sound filled the room.
Then it ended. Everyone looked around.
"Uh, what did you do?" Raven asked.
"I just turned night into day." stormy said smugly. "Wow! That's incredible! OK, next up, Rose Petal." Jade H. said.
Rose Petal happily went to the stage.
"Since I have no talent, I decided to use this opportunity to show how full of angst I am. So I will sing a song from P!nk called 'Lonely Girl.' I find it really describes what I feel, though I try to remain optimistic and sweet."
"That little //beeep// stole my idea! I was going to do that!" Keanna screamed. "Aaaaarrrrggg!!!! I can't believe that!"
But know one was listening because Rose Petal had started to sing in her angelic voice:
I can remember the very first time I cried How I wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside All of my memories - good and bad - that's past Didn't even take the time to realize Starin' at the cracks in the walls Cuz I'm waiting for it all to come to an end Still I curl up right under the bed Cuz its takin' over my head all over again Do you even know who you are? I guess I'm tryin' to find A borrowed dream or a superstar? I want to be a star Is life good to you or is it bad? I can't tell anymore Do you even know what you have? Lyin' awake watchin' the sunlight How the birds will sing as I count the rings around my eyes Constantly pushing the world I know aside I don't even feel the pain, I don't even want to try I'm lookin' for a way to become The person that I dreamt of when I was sixteen Oh, nothin' is ever enough Ooh, baby, it ain't enough for what it may seem Do you even know who you are? I'm still tryin' to find A borrowed dream or a superstar? Everybody wants to be Is life good to you or is it bad? I can't tell anymore Do you even know what you have? No Sorry girl, tell a tale for me Cuz I'm wondering how you really feel I'm a lonely girl, I'll tell a tale for you Cuz I'm just tryin' to make all my dreams come true Do you even know who you are? Oh, yeah, yeah A borrowed dream or a superstar? Oh, I wanted to be a star Is life good to you or is it bad? I can't tell, I can't tell anymore Do you even know what you have? I guess not, oh I guess not Do you even know who you are? Oh, I'm tryin' to find A rising dream or a superstar? Oh, I have a all these dreams Is life good to you or is it bad? I can't tell anymore Do you even know what you have? No, no Do you even know what you are? A rising dream or a fallen star? Is life good to you or is it bad?
All the judges, even Sakaganamkaylamarysuekatrina LoveBlossom Faith Amazinga (insert cannon connection name) 007, were crying their eyes out cause she had done it so beautify. I mean, P!nk did it really well, but Rose Petal like, was the best!
"Wow, we had no idea that you felt that way!" Jade H. said, wiping her eyes. "I mean, your just so sad, it makes us want to love you more!"
"But it was my idea first!" Keanna screamed, her hair wiping around her face and thunder crashing in the back ground.
"Oh, yeah, you people are here to. Well, Keanna, you go ahead and do your thing, though I don't think it well make much of a deference. " Jade H. said and the others laughed.
Keanna looked like she would kill something. But then she got a horrible smirk on her face and said sweetly, "Alright, but for this I'll need Rose Petal to help me."
Rose Petal froze and stared at her. "Oh…Um, OK." And she slowly walked up to the stage again.
"Right, well, all Mary Sues are all powerful, of course. So for this, I will show you something that I find very useful." Keanna said, glowering at Rose Petal. "Of course, I was going to do the exact same thing as Rose Petal did, but something came up." Keanna walked up next to Rose Petal. "You will cheat on this show no more, you evil little //bleep//."
Keanna stood directly in front of Rose Petal. "You will notice that I have no wand, and yet can do this very well anyway." Keanna stared at Rose Petal for a minute, with everyone else watching intently. Then suddenly…
Pop
Rose Petal was no longer on the stage. Actually, she wasn't even in the building.
"YAY! WOOO! THE WITCH IS GONE! YAY!" Jade S. and Stormy cried, jumping up and down.
"Keanna, I thought I told you that you couldn't kill anyone!" Jade H. screamed.
"Hey! I did not kill her, I sent her half way across the world so that she would no longer bug us!" Keanna said angrily.
"Oy. This is gonna be hard to figure out. //sigh// Alright, Harriet, get up here and DO NOT banish anyone." Jade H. said.
Harriet came onto the stage. "Well, as you know, I am the sister of Harry Potter. Therefore, I have been blessed with special gifts, that some how escaped Harry. For this challenge, I will demonstrate by using by super awesome powers to find one of the Horcruxes."
"What?! Won't that screw up the prophecy or something?! Come on, there's going to be a whole book about Harry finding the Horcruxes, and now your just going to do it for him?!" Raven demanded.
"Don't question me, mortal! Mary Sues have power over stupid 'prophecies'! Now shut it and watch!" Harriet spat.
She closed her eyes and, as always, her hair began to swirl around her head, because apparently powerful magic effects hair.
Her eyes turned ice blue and her scar (I can't remember, I think it was a half moon) started glowing.
Her arm lifted and she pointed in one direction, then slowly floated- yes, floated- off the stage.
The judges watched, highly confused, as she took the Sprite can off the table in front of Jade H. and tossed it in the air.
Then she pointed her wand at it and cried "Horcurxus Begoneus FakeLatinus!" And the can erupted into flames.
Harriet shook her head and everything returned to normal.
"Oh my god, my Sprite was holding Lord Voldemort's soul?!" Jade H. shrieked.
"Uh huh. " Harriet said dully.
"That doesn't make sense, she just got that can." Raven said suspiciously.
Before Harriet could answer, Voldemort walked passed. "Hiya folks! Still haven't my Horcruxes, I see!" He said cheerily, going over to the vending machine. "Hey, could one of you give me a quarter?"
They all glared at Harriet.
"OK, maybe that wasn't a Horcrux, but it was pretty cool, wasn't it?" She demanded.
"Not a real Horcrux? It wasn't even a real spell! But yeah, still pretty cool magic." Sakaganamkaylamarysuekatrina LoveBlossom Faith Amazinga (insert cannon connection name) 007 said.
"Yeah, it totally was." The others agreed.
"OK, then Vixen, please come up." Jade h. said.
Vixen came on to the stage.
"Well, for this I thought I would show how awesome I am at my Animagus-ness. It was surprisingly easy for me to learn. Anyway, here we go."
'Wild Thing' started playing somewhere in the back ground and Vixen started to turn into different animals.
She started off easy, turning into a cat, dog, frog, chicken, horse, panda, deer, then got a little more complex. Elephant, mouse, eagle (and then went soaring around the judges heads'), lion, black bear, troll (which isn't an animal, but it was cool), shark, and the she went big, turning into people. Jade H., Raven, Stormy, George Bush, Josh Holloway, Voldemort, and then all the Mary Sues in turn. Finally, she turned back into herself, to wild applause from the judges.
"THAT WAS FREAKIN' AWESOME!" Jade H. screamed. "You learned how to turn into all those things?!"
"Yeah, all in about a day." Vixen said.
"It was rather impressive." Sakaganamkaylamarysuekatrina LoveBlossom Faith Amazinga (insert cannon connection name) 007 agreed.
"Wow, thank you Vixen! Now last but not least, Jade S.!" Raven said.
Jade S. came out and sighed.
"Yeah, I kinda don't have a talent that can be done on stage like that. I can like, draw and stuff, but you don't do that on stage. So I'm just gonna stand here and do this:" Jade S. held up her hand and moved her thumb back and forth, and it started making a clicking sound. Yes, I can really do that and it is very strange.
"Wow…That's weird…OK, you can go now." Raven said. "Jeez, that's what it would look like if Luna Lovegood got high."
A few minutes later, the judges had stopped talking and had decided who won for that night.
They called all the Sues back out (except for Rose Petal, who still hadn't been found) and stood in front of them.
"Now, you all did great tonight, but there can only be one winner. And tonight that winner is….."
TWENTY MINUTES LATER….
"….Vixen."
Vixen started screaming and jumping up and down.
"OK, now please go back to your room until the voting."
XOXOXOXOXOXOX
A few hours later, they all headed down to the Great Hall.
"Good evening, Sues. Vixen, you won immunity, you go first." Jade H. said.
Vixen voted and then the others did. Soon, it was over.
Jade H. got up and brought the sorting hat to the table.
"The first vote goes to…Keanna."
Keanna crossed her arms angrily.
"Next vote…Jade S. Harriet. Harriet. So that's one vote Keanna, one vote Jade S., and two votes Harriet. Next vote, Stormy. And the fifth person voted out of SUEvivor is….
TWENTY MINUTES LATER….
"…Harriet."
Harriet looked horrified. "But…That's not fair!" She sputtered.
"Of course it is. Now go." Jade H. said.
Harriet got up and ran off.
"OK, that's all for this week. Now please return to your room." Jade H. said and the Sues left.
END OF CHALLENGE 5.
NEXT WEEK: "This is weird, we got five different letters!" Stormy said.
"What are you guys doing here!?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!!!"
End notes: Wow, that took forever! Thank you everyone who reviewed! J