CHALLENGE 6: ONCE AGAIN, I CAN'T THINK OF A NAME.
A/N: Thank you if you reviewed! Well, I almost got the link posted! That's a sign! The universe wants me to post this, so here it is again: http:// pirate monkey sinc. com/ ms 1. Htm. OK, hope that works. D
No one could believe that Harriet, who was so Sueish, was voted out.
Now the only Sues left were Stormy, Jade S., Keanna, Rose Petal, and Vixen, though Rose Petal still had not been found.
Keanna was very much nicer now that Rose Petal wasn't there to bug her, and Stormy and Rose Petal were, if possible, even crazier due to their happiness.
"Ya know, I kinda feel bad about being happy for Rose Petal's disappearance. Oh, who cares?! She was horrible!" Jade S. cried that day.
"How could you think that?! She's a total //bleep//! I couldn't be happier!" Stormy said.
"Hey, look! We just got a letter!" Vixen said, for a letter had just appeared on the table in front of them.
She opened it and read out loud. " 'To the Sues of Hogwarts: Rose Petal has been found living in Australia and will be coming back right now.' "
They all looked up when they heard the door open. Rose Petal came in, looking just as nice as ever. She didn't even seem angry at Keanna for banishing her to another country a week before.
"Hello everyone! Isn't it just a beautiful day?!" She cried.
Keanna looked up at the ceiling and screamed, "WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!? WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!?"
Rose Petal giggled annoyingly. "Oh, you silly, lesser Sue! Don't you know that I control your destiny"
Vixen and Jade S. had to hold Keanna back when she tried to kill Rose Petal.
Rose Petal grinned. "I knew you were going to do that!"
"OK, OK, lets not kill each other so far along in the game! Plus, I just got the mail!" Stormy said, though she was a little disappointed that Keanna had not been allowed to destroy Rose Petal.
"This is weird, we got five different letters!" Stormy said. She handed the Sues their letters and opened her own.
"OH MY FLIPPIN' GOD! WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT CHALLENGES!" Jade S. screamed.
"Why are you screaming?" Vixen demanded.
"Ya know, I don't know, this just seems big." Jade S. said, reading her letter again.
"Well, we have almost the same challenge, it just has different specifics." Keanna pointed out. "It says on all of them that we are to go to the Great Hall tonight and act out a stereotypical romance fic scene with our assigned boy toy. Just the scenes and the victims-I mean guys are different."
"OOO! OOO! There's victims?! I could only be happier if Rose Petal was gone!" Stormy cried, happy tears welling in her eyes. She looked at her letter and started shrieking. "AAAAAAAA!!!! I GOT DRACO MALFOY!!!!! WOOO!!! YAY!"
Jade S. looked at her own letter and nearly fainted. "I got Severus Snape! Oh joy! Thank you god!" She sobbed.
"Well, I got Remus, obviously," Vixen said. "Keanna? Who'd you get?"
"I hate fan fiction authors. How could they put me with this //bleep// (curses like a sailor, doesn't she?) ?!!" Keanna demanded.
Jade S. looked over her shoulder and started laughing. "Oh, that would so never happen! Her fan fic boy friend is Harry Potter!"
"But…but that means I don't have Harry!" Rose Petal screamed.
"And suddenly I'm happy with my victim!" Keanna said. "Whose the lesser Sue now?"
"I got…..Ron!" Rose Petal said, nearly fainting.
"This must be the writers of the game punishing you for cheating! You don't get the hero! HAHAHAHAHA"
Stormy laughed nastily. (A/N, I don't have anything against Ron, he's alright, but Rose Petal wanted Harry. Don't flame me for bashing Ron or something cause I'm not.)
"Well, it says that we need to be down there at 7:oo tonight. I hope we have good challenges!" Vixen said.
"Vixen, anything with Draco is awesome!" Stormy said enthusiastically.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
At 7:oo that night, all the Mary Sues went down to the Great Hall.
Jade H. was there, and so were to more people: BOB AND PHIL!!!!
"Bob! Phil! How are you doing?!" Rose Petal cried.
"Oh, we're doing great! We've had some serious counseling and now everything's fine!" Phil said.
"Well, everything's OK, I guess." Bob said.
"No, everything. Is. perfect. Right, Bob?" Phil said through gritted teeth.
"Um…right. Perfect." Bob said, glaring at Phil.
"Um, you guys might wanna go back to counseling. Anyway, tonight's challenge will be started off by Stormy. Everyone else will wait outside and Bob and Phil will help me judge the winner." Jade H. said and all the other Sues left.
"So, you know what you have to do, right?" Jade H. asked her.
"No, not really."
"OK, well, as I'm sure you know, no Mary Sue fic can be complete without an idiotic romance scene. All the Sues have a different scene based on what type of Sue they are. You are American!Sue and you are paired with Draco. In this scene you and Draco are arguing about who is better at magic and stuff. You get more points for using as many clichés, over used adjectives, Sueishness, OOCness and stuff you can. Here's Draco now." Jade H. said.
Draco had just come in. He stared at Stormy, of course, because of her Sueish beauty. You could tell she was awesome just by looking at her, cause pretty people are always awesome, right?
"You must be Stormy." He whispered.
She nearly made him faint by smiling at him. "Yep! And you must be Draco!" She said happily.
"Yes, that's Draco," Jade H. answered for him since he could not speak. "Hope you snap out of this in time to do the challenge."
"Yeah, we're ready," Stormy said.
Draco and Stormy-I mean Stormy and Draco went to the Gryffindor and Slytherin tables and sat down.
Draco looked at his instructions. They said that he was supposed to start things by taunting Stormy about being an American muggle born.
He cleared his throat and turned around to look at her.
"Hey, Stormy! So you're the new girl, eh? From America?" He asked meanly.
Stormy's millions of friends who had suddenly appeared froze. Stormy turned around slowly, her eyes turning slowly blood red. ("Oooo, that's good!" Jade H. cried. Bob and Phil nodded in approval.)
"Yes, I am. Dumbledore announced that last night when he made the speech about how great I am." Stormy said softly, tossing her perfect blond hair.
Malfoy sneered. "Your also a muggle born, right?"
"Well, see, my father is a muggle and he beat me a lot, but my mother is a world famous witch who discovered the only way to defeat Voldemort, but was tragically killed when Voldemort found out." Stormy explained.
"So you're an American muggle born? I'll bet you can't do magic half as good as I can, being rich and hot and all." Malfoy said.
"Are you like, kidding me? She's like, awesome and stuff, Malfoy! You could like, never defeat her, like, ever!" Hermione said. Except now she was Mia and Stormy had given her a cool make over. Also, she decided smart wasn't hot enough and now said 'like' every other word.
"Oh really? Well, maybe we should compare?" Malfoy suggested, his cold grey eyes flashing.
"Wow, that was good. Using typical fan girl description to show what he looked like!" Bob said.
"OK, after school, at the black lake. Then we'll see how great I am!" Stormy said, and all the students started talking excitedly about the coming duel.
"Like, Storm, you'll like, kill him!" Mia gasped.
"Nuff! Yeah. Errrgg! Must…Get…Buff!" Harry panted as he lifted weights (how else does he get so muscle-ly?)
"It's the only way he'll learn!" Stormy said dramatically.
A while later she caught herself staring at the Slytherin hotty. 'This can't be happening! Could it be that I'm falling for Malfoy?!' Stormy thought.
Later on that day, all the students gathered around the black lake to watch Stormy be awesome.
She was there, waiting for Malfoy.
He finally came, looking super confident.
"Ready?" She asked, eyes flashing red again.
"Of course." Malfoy said.
Before he even noticed that things were happening, Stormy had her wand out.
"DESTROYO!" She screamed.
Malfoy flew across the lake and landed on the other side.
Everyone cheered because they were in awe of Stormy's awesomeness.
"Wow," Malfoy gasped as he sat up. "She is incredible! I must be falling in love with her, though we just met and the first thing we did was get in a fight!"
"Aaaand that's enough!" Jade H. said and everything became normal again. "That was great! OK, next up is Keanna."
Keanna entered the room haughtily. "What must I do?"
"Um, OK, well, you will be sharing a scene with Harry where your telling him about how your Voldemort's daughter and all. Oh, here's Harry now," Jade H. said.
Harry came and gave Keanna a look that clearly said he didn't like her.
"Ready?" Jade H. asked them.
"Yeah, yeah," Keanna said. Then she walked past Harry and whispered, "My father will crush you."
"OK, go!" Jade H. told them.
Keanna's eyes immediately filled with tears. "Harry, I must speak with you."
"I can't even look at you now, Keanna. You're the daughter of the man who murdered my family!" Harry cried.
"Harry, you don't understand! I'm also really hot!" Keanna sobbed.
"What do you want with me?" Harry screamed, slamming her against the wall. "You want to hand me over to your father and let him kill me?! You may be drop dead gorgeous, but I can't ever be with you!"
"Harry, please don't do this to me! I would never do anything to make me less awesome!" Keanna sobbed. "I never even knew my father and I would never let him hurt you!"
"I can't be sure of anything now! I always thought pretty people were the best kind of people! Now, nothing is right!" Harry cried as he walked away.
"Harry I love you!" Keanna called after him. "Now please excuse me as I make a dramatic sacrifice for love." And Keanna pulled out her wand and was just about to cast a dramatic spell when Harry ran after her and they started making out.
"Cut! OK, people, that was great! Next up, Jade S." Jade H. announced.
Jade S. came in and looked around for Severus. When he came through the door she started screaming.
"Jade! JADE!!! Your supposed to be the Mary Sue, here! Act like one! Now anyway, you guys' scene is that Jade S. is going to be Snape's new potion's assistant. Need I say more? Alright, take it away." (And everything written in italics is said in a really sexy voice.)
The Great Hall suddenly turned into the dungeons. The were filled with oh-so-sexy slowly simmering caldrons and smoke…from the caldrons.
"Hello, Professor," Jade S. coughed. It was supposed to come out in a soft, sexy voice, but the smoke was making her cough.
"Miss Holloway," Snape said softly. No, my name is not Holloway, but it will be when I marry Josh Holloway. Just kidding. Maybe. Well, we'll see. "You are here for the assistant job, I assume?"
"//cough// Yes, Professor," Jade S. whispered and coughed. "You wouldn't mind if I take off this robe, would you?"
"Not at all," Snape said.
"God, I'm so horrible when I'm a Sue!" Jade H. cried.
"Well, she's on her way to winning the competition!" Phil pointed out.
"And please, call me Severus," Snape, or Severus, I guess, said.
"So Severus, what do you want me to do?" Jade S. asked him.
He gave her a task that no one really cares about. She did whatever, of course, perfectly and Severus was super impressed by how awesome she was for a student. Oh yeah, and she was super hot, partly because she was dressed, um, rather student inappropriately.
"Might I ask why you are not wearing the school uniforms?" Severus, who had not taken his eyes off her, asked her.
She giggled sexily. "Oh, Sev, really! I only dress like this on…Special occasions." The caldrons hissed as the flames grew.
Severus leaned in on her, never mind the fact that she was a student and he was like, 40 something.
Jade H. was about to tell them it was over, but they were making out to much to listen.
"HEY! HEY! THAT IS AGAINST THE LAW, MISTER! Aw, hell, I love him too! Alright, bring Vixen in!" Jade H. said, choosing to ignore her nasty Sue. Then she turned to Bob and Phil, who were looking at her Sue as if she were insane. "Yeah, I'm not really that bad, but you know Sues!" She said exasperatedly.
Vixen came in. "I assume I'm getting Remus?" She asked. "Yeah, you-" Jade H. started, but she was interrupted by Jade S.
"SEE YA! WE'RE GOIN' TO GET MARRIED, BABY!" She shrieked.
"Yeah, anyway, here he is now," Jade H. said, waving at Remus.
"Hi," He said to Vixen. He was drooling slightly.
"OK! Your scene is Remus is revealing he's a werewolf and you have to be all 'I'm a werewolf to! Love me!' and what ever. OK, go!" Jade H. said, sitting in a director's chair for some reason.
"Vixen, you do not understand! You could never want a monster like myself!" Remus cried.
"But I do! I mean, your not a monster! No, Remus! I love you!" Large tears spilled from Vixen's yellow eyes.
"How can you?"
"Because I too suffer the curse of lycanthropy!" Vixen sobbed dramatically, falling to her knees with her face in her hands.
"What?! How can one so wonderful be a wolf?!" Remus cried.
"I am just naturally perfect. Anyway, yes, it's true! I am not only a wolf, but I am a ," Vixen listed all the things she turned into once a month (not including all the things she had learned to turn into).
"This is wonderful! Now we can live together, without fear of me biting you!" Remus said.
"YAY!" Vixen cried and he picked her up and they ran off to get married.
"OK, that's enough. Good job. And last is….Rose Petal with Ron," Jade H. said.
Rose Petal came in, looking beautiful, as always.
"Hi Rosy, yeah, anyway, you're with Ron," Jade H. told her.
Rose Petal's face darkened. "Yes, I know. I wasn't good enough to be with Harry, even though-"
"Uh huh, everyone wants Harry! I AM JUST AS GOOD!" Ron screamed.
"Harry's friend, please, not the I'm-not-just-Harry's-sidekick speech again, we just don't have time! Anyway, your scene is that Rose Petal is admitting to you all her Super Dark Secrets and you have to comfort her because…I don't know, being all powerful sucks or something. Take it away, Rose Petal and Red haired guy!" Jade H. told them.
Rose Petal and Ron were walking through the Forbidden Forest alone one night because Hagrid had asked Rose Petal to round up a unicorn for the next class (unicorns were naturally attracted to her) and Ron had gone with her.
"Ronald, you don't understand! The unicorns are attracted to me because….I can't say! You must not know!" Rose Petal said, looking away from Ron and wiping tears from her eyes.
"Rose Petal, please! You can tell me!" Ron insisted.
"No, Ron! It is too horrible! And we wouldn't Hermione thinking we were together again! After all, she did try to kill me out of jealousy five times already!" Rose Petal cried.
"But I don't love her, I love you! Please tell!" Ron said.
"Oh, Ronald! No one has ever told me they love me before! I was abandon at birth and grew up never knowing love! But alright, I'll tell you! I am….A unicorn!" She sobbed.
"Uhh… Huh?" Ron said and stopped walking.
"Yes, I am! The unicorns are attracted to me because they since I am one of them. Also, they are always attracted to the ones who are purest of heart, and pretty! But I can only turn into a unicorn when the moon is full," Rose Petal said, burying her face in her hands.
"Wow! A were-unicorn! I've heard about those! You must have some great powers," Ron said, suddenly in awe of her greatness.
"Well, I have some powers, yes. I can control the weather, the earth, all animals, mind reading, change my appearance at will,"
"Oh, Rose Petal! It must be so hard for you, being so different!" Ron said.
"Oh, Ron! You're the only one who understands me! Love me!" Rose Petal said, falling into his arms.
"I love you, Rose Petal!"
"Dear god, please let it me over!" Jade H. cried. "Oh my…Some of the camera men just got sick! Yes, call an ambulance! The nastiness of these clichés are killing them"
She turned to Rose Petal. "Yeah, just go back to your little Sue Room, kay?" She said absent-mindedly, turning back to the passed -out camera men.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Later that night, all the Sues came down for the voting.
They all felt pretty bad about nearly killing some of the staff.
Jade H. was waiting for them. She looked very impatient, not very happy about having to explain to the 911 guys that the reason several people were sick was because of her TV show.
"Alright, I forgot to tell you that Jade S. won immunity due to her steamy fan fic scene with Snape. She'll go first."
Jade S. happily went up to put her piece of paper in the hat (she had voted for Rose Petal).
Then Stormy came to vote, then Vixen, the Rose Petal, then Keanna.
She seemed very happy, sure that Rose Petal would be voted out this time.
"Yeah, yeah. I gotta read the stupid votes," Jade H. grumbled as she picked up the sorting hat.
"//sigh// First vote, Vixen."
Vixen looked surprised because she was also sure about Rose Petal.
"Next vote, Rose Petal. Keanna. Vixen. That's two votes Vixen, one vote Rose Petal, and one vote Keanna. And the next person voted out of SUEvivor is……"
TWENTY MINUTES LATER….
"…..Vixen."
Jade. S, Keanna, and Stormy all gasped and Vixen sadly got up and left.
"B-but how? Vixen was alright! She's the devil with blond hair!" Stormy sobbed.
"I don't know. Please go away so I can go to sleep." Jade H. said dully.
All the Sues went back to their room, thoroughly shocked.
"We have to find out what she did!" Jade S. whispered to Keanna and Stormy. "I know we were all gonna vote her out, not Vixen!"
END OF CHALLENGE 6.
NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: "YES! FINALLY! WOO!" "They'll pay for this when the time comes!"
END NOTES: Well, that took longer then I thought it would to write! I know it wasn't very funny, but I realized I didn't have a challenge for this chapter and had to make it up quickly. Please review! J