A/N: Thank you nice reviewers! J I might not get the next chapter up soon, I have to complete my challenge so that I can become an official Sue Smiter!!!!! Yep! I found a web site with a quiz for it, and I took it. The results said I would make a good Sue Smiter, so I have to do the challenge to become one! Look out Sues, I will destroy you!
CHALLENGE 8: DANCING WITH THE STRANGE.
The Mary Sues of Hogwarts had been celebrating all week. They didn't even care who won the game anymore, as long as Rose Petal wasn't there.
"This has been the best week ever!!!!!!!!" Stormy screamed.
"Yeah, yeah, stop saying that!!!" Keanna said. Now that she wasn't trying to destroy Rose Petal, she focused more of her energy into being mean to everyone else.
"Well, she's right, it has. Now we actually have a chance to win!!" Jade S. said.
"Oh, girl, come on! I'm American!Sue! Of course I was gonna win!" Stormy said, tossing back her hair.
"Excuse me, I was going to win!!!! I still am going to win!" Keanna snarled.
"Dream on. Maybe you'll come in second, but I doubt it." Stormy said snobbishly.
"Hey, what about me?!" Jade S. asked indigently.
"Oh, come on. You know I'm just sayin' that to get her off my back about it." Stormy whispered, but as soon as Jade S. turned her back, she mouthed "No way in hell" to Keanna.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
A few hours later, Jade S. got the mail and brought it in.
"Looks like we got another challenge," she said, ripping open the envelope and reading out loud. " 'Dear Harry Potter Mary Sues,
Your challenge tonight will take place in the Great Hall. Please come there at 8:oo tonight.' "
"Hmmm. I wonder what we have to do," Stormy said.
"They didn't give us very much information this time," Keanna pointed out.
"I don't know what it is, but I bet it will be cool!" Jade S. said, and everyone agreed.
XOXOXOXOXOXO
A while later all the Sues came to the Great Hall.
They found Jade H. standing in front of empty staff table. That was the only table left in the room, for all the others had magically disappeared and the floor had become a ball room dance floor.
"Good evening Mary Sues," Jade H. said when they had all settled in.
"I'm sure you've noticed the changes that have been made for this challenge. It has become a ball room. Why? Because there can't be a stupid fic without a stupid ball!"
All the Sues gasped. "You mean….."
"That's right! We're having the Fancy Ball For No Reason™ challenge! In almost all Mary Sue stories, Dumbledore up and decides to have a ball, for reasons that are never really explained. All Mary Sues must be able to attend a pointless ball, right? So for this challenge, you all have twenty minutes to find a date, get the perfect outfit, get to the ball, dance with said date, and then make out with him," Jade H. instructed. "Ready? Good. Start now!" She said, and she pulled out an hourglass and set it on the table.
"Oh crap. I hate it when they time us!!!" Jade S. moaned as she sulked off to do the challenge.
XOXOXOXOXO
//Stormy//
Stormy was running out the doors of Hogwarts castle. As soon as she got outside the gate, she apparated to Hogsmeade.
A few minutes later, the camera crew caught up with her.
"What am I doing? Well, duh! I'm going to Mary Sues 'R' us!!!" She screamed, running into the store.
Inside the store was filled with the super trendy clothes all Mary Sues wear. Loud angst-y music was blasting out of speakers in the ceiling and countless Sues were buying things (despite the fact that they never earn any money in anyway, they just always have it).
Stormy grabbed a near by sales person, a Goth!Punk!Sue.
"I need to buy a ball dress NOW!!!!!!" She cried.
The other Sue nodded. "I understand. Come with me."
The Goth!Punk!Sue lead them to the back room. She lifted the door beads and flipped a light switch. Stormy gasped when she saw what was in the next room: Countless gowns of every style imaginable.
Stormy squealed and raced off to look for something American!Sue enough.
"Alright, I'm looking for something that shows too much skin, preferably red silk, but black would do just as well," She informed the Goth!Punk!Sue.
The Sue nodded. "Ah yes, the American!Sue style. I have just the thing…" she said (lets call her….Rage. Yes, it's a Sue name).
Rage presented Stormy with a short, short, red dress without straps and lots of sequins.
"You'll need the appropriate shoes ," Rage told her, giving her a pair of four inch high heels that laced up her legs. Any human would have broken their necks trying to walk in them, but Stormy found them perfect.
"Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!" She cried all the way out of the store.
She looked at her watch. "OK, we have 15 minutes to do everything, so lets MOVE!!!"
She apparated off to Hogwarts and burst through the gates. Racing up the stairs, she finally came to the Gryffindor dorm.
She tore through the portrait hole without it even opening and ran into Harry.
"Harry //gasp! Your going to the //gasp// ball with me //gasp// tonight!" She panted and then took off running up the stairs to her room.
She pulled on the tiny dress and shoes. There was still a few minutes left, so she threw on some make up (perfectly, of course), tossed her hair to make it nice and sexy, and zoomed down the stairs to the Great Hall.
When she got there, she found lots of dancing couples and a disco ball. There was a corny love song playing in the back ground. Had this been a real fic, the author would have put the lyrics in here, but I'm not going to waste my time (no one reads them anyway).
Harry was standing in the center of the room, not wearing the normal dress robes, oh nooooo! That's far too canon for a Mary Sue fic.
Stormy left her group of friends that had magically appeared and joined him.
"Hi Harry!" She yelled over the music.
"Wow, you look more incredible then usual!" He said. They started dancing.
"Stormy, I need to tell you something!" Harry said.
"Well, make it quick cause we only got two minutes left!" Stormy said in a panicked voice.
"I've loved you my whole life even though we only met a few months ago! I love your American-ness and how you always say lame things that I always think are funny for some reason! I love how you dress like a slut and get away with it! I love your ZOMG SUPER SEPSHUL POWERZZZ!11111one!!!11one!™ I love how blond you are! I love how you cursed Snape and got away with it!" Harry rambled. Stormy put a finger to his lips.
"Shhh, you had me ZOMG SUPER SEPSHUL POWERZZZ!11111one!!!11one™." She said and they started passionately making out.
"OK, guys! That's enough, you did everything in time! Guys? Guys, seriously, stop! Oh my god, that's disgusting! Cut to commercial! CUT TO COMMERCIAL!!!!" Jade H. screamed.
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.
Jade H. was standing there looking sick. "OK, watch Jade S. do the challenge."
XOXOXOXOXO
//Jade H.//
Jade H. was standing in front of Mary Sues "R" Us."
"Huh, this place would be really cool if it weren't so Sueish and it was real," she said. Then she looked around nervously. "Jeez, I'm really not supposed to know we're in a fan fic!"
She sighed and went in.
"Hi, welcomed to Mary Sues "R" Us! How can I help you!?" Asked a red haired Sue was too perky.
" Well, I'm going to this ball and-"
"Oooo! What kind of ball?!?!" The Sue asked.
"Oh, they never told me," Jade S. said.
"Well then, who are you going with? Student or teacher?" The Sue asked her, clapping her hands annoyingly.
"Severus Snape! Teacher," Jade S. told her.
"Well, then you could always do the masquerade! That way it lets you two have a mysterious meeting where you dance and kiss but you don't realize he's a teacher! It's so romantic!" The Sue squealed.
"Oooo! Oooo! Yeah! Let's do that!" Jade S. said, much like the other Sue. "Uh, what's your name?"
"I'm Moxie Angelica Rassita Yessica Sunlight Unicornmadien Elvya, but you can call me Mary Sue for short!" Mary Sue cried.
Mary Sue lead her to the Masquerade section, where a few Mysterious!Sues were trying on masks.
There were racks and racks of huge, beautiful dresses, with masks and all kinds of super cool accessories.
"Hmmm…" Jade S. said, looking through the first bunch of them.
Then she looked at her watch (I don't know why they all have one, but they do). She still had a little time to look.
After the first three racks, she picked up a white lacey dress with gold designs and a matching mask.
"Heyyyy, I like this one!" She cried.
"ZOMG! That one is like, so pretty!!!!" Mary Sue screamed.
And so, Jade S. got the dress and headed back to Hogwarts.
She quietly went down to Snape's dungeon chambers. She slipped a note under the door. It said 'Meet me at the ball tonight. Look for the Mary Sue in the white dress.'
She looked at her watch again and gasped. "I have ten frickin' minutes!!!" She ran up to her dorm and changed in to her dress. She put her hair up, put the mask on, and went down stairs.
Now the Great Hall looked like that scene in Van Helsing at the vampire ball. If you've never seen Van Helsing, the hall was now filled with people dressed really dramatically that were dancing to some weird classical-ish music.
Jade S. recognized Snape immediately cause of the hair and everything, but she knew she had to play along.
"Uhhhh…..Let's dance or something," she said. What were you supposed to say at a Mysterious Fan Fic Ball™ ?
"Oh, masked stranger who looks nothing like Professor Snape, who could you be?!" Jade S. cried dramatically.
"Oh, blond Mary Sue who is so obviously Jade S. in a dress, who could you possibly be?!"
"Oh, black haired guy who I know is Professor Snape, hurry up, we have three minutes!!" Jade S. said.
"Oh, strange Mary Sue, I think I love you!" Snape whispered (this is killing me. It really, truly is.
And so, in the style of Mary Sues around the world, they started kissing.
//sob// "It's so sweet and stupid!!!!" Jade H. sobbed. "Well, you guys can go home. And last but not least, we have Keanna! Let's watch!"
XOXOXOXOXOXO
//Keanna//
"Errrggg," Keanna growled under her breath. She crossed her arms and glared up at Mary Sues "R" Us.
"This is so stupid!"
She stormed in anyway and slammed her hand down on the checkout counter. "I need a dress for the ball NOW. It will be black, slightly goth, and make me look pretty and angsty," she demanded.
"Like, OK, like, god!" Said a ditzy Sue who was chewing gum.
She rolled her eyes and brought Keanna to a dark section.
"Like, this is where we keep the like, Tragic!Sue clothes," The sales person said, then she went back to her chair.
After passing through many racks of dress, she picked one up. So did another Dark!Sue.
"Scram, jerk. This one's mine!" The Sue snarled.
"Bull sh--, I got it first!" Keanna cried. Slowly, both their eyes turned red. Keanna blinked. "Genesis?" She asked. That too is the name of a Dark!Sue I've seen.
"Keanna?" Genesis asked, surprised.
"OH MY GOD! How have you been, sis?" Keanna cried, dropping the dress and hugging her sister.
"I've been good! I can't believe your on SUEvivor! That's great!" Genesis said.
"Yeah, that's why I need the dress. We're doing the ball room challenge today," Keanna told her.
"Oh, OK! Well, you can have it if you think it will help you win. You must win! The Riddles must win everything!" Genesis said.
"Thanks, Gen! I have to go! I only have 15 minutes left! I'll talk to you soon!" Keanna told her.
The Riddle sisters said good bye and Keanna left with her dress.
XOXOXOXOXO
Keanna made her way to the Slytherin common room. This time she was dating Draco, damn it!
She gave the password and sadly walked in.
She stopped next to Draco and whispered, "Ask me if I'm going to the ball tonight!"
Draco blinked. "Umm, are you going to the ball tonight?"
Keanna sighed. "No, my father wants me to kill Harry today. He's Voldemort, you know. Lord Voldemort. My father is," Keanna said.
"Oh, you can do that any time! Let's go to the ball together," Draco insisted.
"Oh, alright," Keanna sighed. Then she ran up stairs to change into her outfit.
When she came back down, Draco was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in green dress robes.
Keanna's hair was up in curls and she was wearing black eye shadow and lip stick. Her dress was long and black, made of velvet. It greatly contrasted with her ivory skin and red eyes.
"Wow! You look great! Draco breathed.
"I know."
The two of them went down to the Great Hall with ten minutes left.
The hall looked just like it always does in these fics, with dancing people and food, and for some reason, no teachers.
"Want to dance?" Draco asked her.
"Oh, I don't know. I've never danced before. My abusive adoptive parents never let me do anything. Can you tell I'm bitter and mean now?" Keanna asked hopefully.
"Oh, totally," Draco said, bringing her on to the dance floor.
They danced for five minutes and then took a walk in some random rose garden.
"It must be so hard for you, having Voldemort as a father, being the vampire princess of a large country, having awesome powers…I don't know how you survive, honestly," Draco told her.
"Oh, Draco! You're the only one who understands my angst! You have an abusive father, too!" Keanna cried.
Draco stopped walking and looked confused. "I do?"
"Yes, you do! Anyway, I have so many problems! People think I'm horrible, but it's really just because of all the angst! I'm so depressed!" And she started sobbing on his shoulder.
"Umm, there, there….Don't cry…Seriously, your staining my robes here!" Draco screamed.
"I'm sorry Draco. But now that I have admitted my Dark Secrets™, we can have sex!" Keanna said, jumping on him.
"OK peoples, that's enough!" Jade H. said. "All the Mary Sues are to come into the Great Hall for the voting."
XOXOXOXOXOXO
All the Sues were standing in front of the sorting hat. Jade H. was pacing in front of them.
"All of you did very good on this challenge. Keanna, you even managed to have time to go for a walk and spill the Dark Secrets™. But only one of you can win immunity. And that winner is….."
TWENTY MINUTES LATER.
"….Keanna."
"Yes! You lose, suckers!" Keanna screamed, jumping up and down.
"And now, Keanna, would you please vote?" Jade H. asked her, handing her the hat.
Keanna nodded solemnly to both the other Sues and walked up to vote.
Next was Jade S., then stormy.
"I'll tally up the votes." Jade H. picked up the hat and pulled out the first piece of paper. She scowled. "First vote, Jade H."
"Sorry!" Stormy said.
"Next vote, Stormy."
"I'm sorry, too!" Jade S. said. Both Sues hugged and started sobbing.
"And the last person voted out of SUEvivor is….'
TWENTY MINUTES LATER.
"….NO! HOW COULD I GET VOTED OUT?!?! It's Jade S.!!!!" Jade H. sobbed.
Jade S. got up. "Good luck, guys!" She said to the others and then she left.
"Ahem, well, next week will be the final episode of SUEvivor. One of you will be the winner, but which one? Join us next time on SUEvivor."
END OF CHALLENGE 8.
NEXT WEEK ON SUEvivor: "Oh my god! It's them!" "And the winner of SUEvivor, the Ultimate Harry Potter Mary sue is…."
END NOTES: Well, that will be a sad chapter! Please review this chap! J