Previously:

Mom passed away last night in her slee. The funeral is day after next at the St. Alexandria Cathedral on West 23rd street. Her Will will be read that afternoon. Lily, we knew this was going to happen: be happy that she lived a full life and never regretted anything.

Petty

CHAPTER 15: HIDDEN

James squinted as the light splintered through the greenhouse and bathed them in light. Life was just too short to wake up this early, he thought. The seventh years were attending a mandatory before-breakfast Herbology class to watch the Syncalomes hatch at dawn. James and Sirius, who each had no interest in dawn or Herbology, were doing everything they could to not fall asleep on each other's shoulders.

James preoccupied himself with watching his classmates. Alice Longbottom, a stout but pretty shorthaired girl, seemed to be the only one really paying attention. A Slytherin called Rosalyn Doubt was leaning against the glass, her eyes glazed over. Only one more semester, James thought. One more.

As soon as class had started, he had immediately noticed Lily's absence. The red haired head that usually graced his presence was probably on a pillow somewhere in the tower.

"So you see class, the egg only hatches when you completely expose it to the sun's first rays. These poor dears-" she motioned to a few cold, un-cracked eggs, "weren't so lucky. Too much shade, too many people," she muttered, pulling her gloves off and wiping her brow with one.

"Fine, fine. You may go to breakfast. I expect seven inches on how to successfully hatch a Syncalome by Monday."

Sirius had never actually fallen asleep at the Gryffindor table before, but there was a first for everything. James, however, felt more alert after drinking a cup of coffee. Lily still wasn't there… had she overslept?

When Lily still hadn't shown by lunch, James was worried. He slid out off the bench and approached Professor McGonagall, who was ladling soup into a bowl.

"Mr. Potter, what can I help you with," she said without looking up from the soup.

"Professor, I was just wondering, I know you don't usually give out this information, but I was just wondering. I'm getting worried, and"

"What's your point, Potter?" she said, a spoon of broth halfway to her mouth.

"Where is Lily?" He said flatly, scratching his head and looking at her, bracing for a telling-off for nosiness.

McGonagall put down her spoon. "Dear dear, I'm afraid that Lily has had a family emergency at home, and had to leave… she will be back next week, I assure you." She looked very grave as she said this, and James' stomach rose in realization of what had happened.

"When is the funeral?" He said softly.

"What, Potter, how-"

"Please, Professor, I knew Lily's mother. Please let me go."

McGonagoll gave him a piercing stare. Her eyes were searching him, trying to decide whether he was being honest or not. "Go to Dumbledore's office after lunch," she said. "He will decide whether … whether it is proper."

James wasted no time. He sprinted to Dumbledore's office and sat down next to the gargoyle. It had looked as though Dumbledore had almost finished his chicken parmesan in the Great Hall… maybe he would be coming soon…

"James? To what do I owe this visit?" It was Dumbledore, walking along the corridor, absent-mindedly glancing at the paintings that lined the corridor as he walked. James had the suspicion that Dumbledore knew exactly why he was waiting.

"Sir, Lily's mom died… and I was wondering if I could attend the funeral. I knew her mom, and—"

"And you would like to be there for Lily," he said, turning to James now and smiling dreamily. In a more serious tone, he said "The memorial service is tomorrow at 10:00 at St. Alexandria's Chapel, a few blocks from Lily's house. You are welcome to go. I will inform your teachers… you have Pernel and Flitwick tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes sir, should I just come to Professor McGonagall's office to floo out?"

"Yes, that would be best. Please give Lily my regards, and tell her if there is anything I can do… anything at all… "

"Yes sir," James said.

Lily lay spread eagle on her mother's bed, where her mother's warm, content body had lay resting only days before. How much would she give just to go back? Her mother could not of left… she just, just couldn't. Lily had known that her mother was terminally ill for sometime, but that had never seamed real. It was certainly real now.

The tears started to fall, and Lily hid herself under the pillows.

She blinked. The ceiling fan was whining in the pitch black. She must of fallen asleep. She closed her eyes again, and everything that had happened hit her. She turned over, face down, and tried to fall asleep again. Being unconscious and unaware of her life seemed a great option; she would leave accepting it all, which she knew she had to do eventually, for later.

"Lily, Lily, it's time to wake up," said a voice Lily recognized as her mother's best friend, Victoria. "It starts in an hour, and we've got to get to the church." Her voice was unusually high, and she seemed to be purposely avoiding eye contact.

She left, and Lily got to her feet. Quickly darting out of her mother's room, she climbed the stairs and fled into her room. She would take this one step at a time. First, shower. Then, make-up. Then, clothes. Then, apperating. She went through each step like a zombie, and didn't realize what she was doing half the time. After she put on her shoes, she fell back onto her bed, picturing the exact room in St. Alexandria's Cathedral she knew would be deserted.

As a little girl, Lily had attended Sunday school at St. Alexandria's. As she grew older, she was disenchanted with religion. What with her father abusing her and her mother's fatal illness, life seemed too evil for there to be a God. It was also impractical to come to Sunday school, as she lived at Hogwarts most of the year. Appearing into the dark, deserted stone classroom stimulated old memories of doctrines she once was taught. Was there a heaven? She surely wished there was. Looking down at her feet, she decided she would leave that part to think out later, with… with the other stuff.

She pulled for the door, and was immediately in a crowd of people, all wearing black and chatting softly. It looked funny, to see everyone dressed in black. It was like a bad emo video on television, where the world is a dry, depressed and systematic function, not creative and free.

Her mother had touched so many people! People that Lily had never met. She bolted towards Victoria, who had organized the service.

"What do I need to do?" Lily said softly.

"You will process in with the coffin-"

"Coffin? It was my mother's wishes to be… to be cremated."

"Some of her ashes lie in the coffin, but some remain to be… spread."

"I'll do it. She would of wanted me to do it."

"I don't know what to say. Of course, dear. Of course."

Years later when Lily would look back, she wouldn't remember much about the funeral. People got up and spoke, but it were things that she knew already. Her mother was a kind, gentle woman who gave what she could. She was conservative, yet had her moments. She was beautiful, but not vainly so. In high school she was a mother of sorts to her rowdy friends. In college she let go, yet graduated with honors.

The fleeting memories that she would remember were random- a boy she recognized as a neighbor leaning his head against his mother's shoulder, his eyes shut. The blue light flooding in from the royal blue stainglassed windows from the overcast day, foggy because of her wet eyes. The priest raising his hands in the air, and finally, her father's absence. She hadn't thought that he would come, and she was glad she was right.

Lily and Petunia didn't talk on the ride to the cemetery. They both loved each other, and wished they could return to their sisterly relationship pre-magic. Lily got the feeling that her sister was embarrassed she wasn't from a normal family, but had never made the accusation.

Petunia didn't cry, and neither did Lily. They both stared blankly out of the window. Lily came close to starting conversation more than twice, but decided against it. She was disappointed that they couldn't come together, but thought it best to let things be. Petunia would be Petunia. Lily would be Lily.

Standing in the cold, gray courtyard, Lily felt herself panicking. Half of her mother was about to disappear under the earth, forever. There was no going back. She just wanted to freeze time, and have a day, week, or month to just accept that her mother was dead- now she had to accept that she had moved to a place so foreign to Lily, next to the dead corpses of L. Ploutgher and Bethany Side? She wasn't ready to move on, wasn't ready for her mother to be completely gone. She felt her chills move up her spine, and her head starting to feel dizzy.

"Lily, Lily c'mon!"

Hands suddenly grasped her firmly around the waist, to keep her from falling. She felt breathing on her forehead, but didn't care. She started to cry, and didn't resist when that someone pulled her behind the row of cars, away from the crowd. Suddenly, she was jolted by an invisible force and spinning faster than ever. The gray world turned to black until she felt a warm, soft surface beneath her. This, however, was the last fleeting thought through her head before she succumbed to unconsciousness.

Lily woke some hours later, blinking in a bedroom that looked familiar. It took her a few seconds to realize where she recognized it from- this was James Potter's bedroom, from winter break. That night seemed like so long ago and so frivolous.

Seeing she was awake, James shot up quickly from the couch.

"Lily! I'm sorry, you were about to faint, and I thought it best to bring you back to a warm bed. I'm so sorry if you weren't ready to leave the yard yet. Here- I made some tea, and here is some soup…"

Lily looked at him, bewildered.

"You were at the funeral?"

"Of course I was at the funeral."

Lily didn't know quite how to answer that. She took a spoonful of soup instead. James walked slowly over to the bed, and sat on the end.

"I, I really am sorry, Lily," he said softly. "I talked to that woman, Victoria, and she told me you could pick up some…. things… tomorrow morning. I told her what happened, minus the apperation."

He paused and looked up at Lily, their eyes connecting.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling, I won't try to relate, but I hope you know that I'm here if you need me."

Lily put her spoon down.

"Thanks, James."

A/N

Don't hate on me for the religion or cremation stuff in this chapter. I know lots of people out there might disagree. But hey, it's creative writing that's my own, right?

I'm excited to write the next chapter! It will go A LOT faster if you guys review… a LOT faster…. Please?!

PS: I'm so sorry about all the grammatical and spelling errors in the last chapter, I uploaded the wrong version of the document!