For all the darlings who reviewed me—lily013, Forbittenlove, 1stepbehind29 and schmexybella—thanks so much! This chapter's for you four (and potential reviewers, heh.)
I'm actually quite reluctant to upload this chapter (because I want more reviews. -sheepish- ) but I can't be selfish. So here it is! Well, keep the reviews coming in. Love you!
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Disclaimer: Nope, I
don't own Twilight. Obvious much?
Chapter Eight
bPOV
I fumbled with the keys, jamming them blindly into the lock. My shoulders were shaking uncontrollably and it was a good thing that Charlie wouldn't be home to see me in this state. When I finally inserted the key successfully, I kicked the door open and ran in, slamming it shut, throwing my bad onto the floor then running up the stairs into my room.
I sobbed hard into my pillow in a cathartic state. I was so incredibly pissed off and as my pillow got wetter by the minute, my anger was slowly subsiding. Yet my tears flowed out steadily, showing no signs of ever stopping. It's like how you start crying and you can't stop, because the all the sad and bad things that ever happened to you floats into your mind and you can do nothing but cry. I cried for a long time. I cried for my anger, my homesickness, my friends in Phoenix, my mother, my father. I cried for myself.
By the time Charlie came back home from work, I was already all washed up. But I felt numb, very. Like how my heart was a bottle which was emptied out, no more negative feelings, but also no more positive feelings. It was scary, but I didn't feel the extent of it. My head was so light; I think Charlie suspected me of taking drugs. He showed his concern by shooting me worried glances; many of them. It could have made me feel annoyed, or it could have made me feel guilty, but not today, not now. That night, I was an emotionally confused girl.
Then Charlie cleared his throat and spoke. My mind jumped at the loudness of his voice, contrasting to the grave quietude of the house, but my physical body did nothing. My ear listened to his words. "Jacob asked Billy to ask me to remind you about Saturday's La Push." He paused, waiting for his words to sink in. But it wouldn't, and couldn't. When he realised that, he continued with his brows furrowed, "Bella? You are going to that trip, right? Billy mentioned something about you being able to bring along your own friends."
I nodded my head without looking at him and heard him sigh quietly. Not wanting to torture him with my presence any further, I walked up the stairs slowly, stair boards creaking rhythmically. 1, pause, 2, pause, 3. Then, upon entering my room, I lay down on my bed. I didn't sleep, didn't think, and didn't do anything. I knew this was my emotional rut, the one which came ever so rarely, but when it came, it came. I knew I was going to wake up tomorrow a complete different girl than today. So I was making this rut last, so that it would be another blue moon the next time it comes again.
Regardless of that, I had to make arrangements for tomorrow's Bella. I counted to three, five times, before dragging myself off the bed and downstairs. I felt Charlie look at me, his fretful stare lingering on my back. But I shuffled on, picked up the phone and sat down on a chair.
I pressed Jessica's number and placed it to my ear. The monotonous ringing sound soothed me and I found my eyes closing, but then a shrill female voice stabbed my eardrum as she asked loudly, "Hello. This is the Stanley's. How may I help you?" My voice was hoarse and soft, but she heard me alright. "Jessica." And a few seconds later, Jessica's voice entered my ear and she blabbered white noise, while I watched the tap leak. Drip, plop, drip, plop. And then she finally asked, "Why'd you call me for?"
"Hey, I was invited to La Push by my father's friend's son and was thinking of asking you to come along with me." Just a statement with faked cheerfulness. But Jessica interrupted excitedly anyway. "Of course I'll come! Who else are you thinking of bringing along?" I thought for a while. "Angela… and Mike. You can invite the rest."
"Oooh! Mike Newton?"
"The one and only."
"Cool! I was thinking of him too. Isn't it freaky how we think so alike?"
"Hmm."
"Well, why don't you call the both of them and I call up some others?"
"You don't want to call Mike?"
Silence. "Nah, you do it. I have many others to call anyway."
Somewhere within my empty mind, I felt myself laughing at Jessica. It was such a typical beheaviour coming from her; any minor gathering would have to become a big party of sorts. I was surprised by her decision of not calling Mike though, but I was fine with it. Today, I was fine with anything.
She chatted a little more before hanging up. I called Angela and asked her about it. She agreed quickly and hung up quickly. This was one of the reasons why I liked Angela—she always seemed to know what to do and when to do it. It was down to Mike then. I made myself count to ten before calling him. And then it was the soothing ringing sound again.
"Hello? This is Mike speaking." His voice sounded distant over the phone. But maybe it was just me.
"Hey, Bella here."
"Oh! Hi, Bella! What a surprise." I saw the grin on his face, and pushed it away.
"Hm, yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to go to La Push with me… and a whole bunch of other people."
"Yes! I mean, sure. But I'll have to check my busy schedule." I could almost smile at his attempt to play cool with me.
"It's this coming Saturday, just one day away. Will you be free then?"
"Yeah, it's your lucky day!" He laughed.
"Great. Then I'll see you in school tomorrow."
"Yeah, okay."
"Bye."
"Bye, Bella."
I put down the phone and looked at the clock. It was only nine. But I decided to sleep early anyway, so today could end and tomorrow would come. As I climbed back up, I saw Charlie smile to himself in relief. Walking into my room slowly, I saw my bed beckoning to me. I lay down again, covers up to my chin, hair sprawled all over. Turning over to my left, I looked out of the window and into the vast star-studded night. They twinkled at me; in pity, in joy.
Stars shine the brightest when the night's at its darkest.
This sentence came to me with no rhyme or reason and I felt like it was the night sky's message to me. With new hope, I whispered goodnight to the velvet blanket which was so near, yet so far from me. Then my eyes closed and I flew into dreams of nothingness, dappled with diamonds.
Tomorrow, Bella's going to be a brand new girl.
I'm so sorry this had to be a one-sided emotional chapter. I had my sister proofread it for me and she commented, "It's as if Bella's experiencing the dark period of Edward leaving her. But it isn't, right?" And then I realised how she was so true. Well, I didn't want to rewrite everything. So I guess my only defence was to say that when Edward really leaves Bella, it's gonna be so much worse. :/ Well, the next chapter would be more than just emojunk. I promise!
Oh yeah. To a certain babe out there, I kept to our deal! It's still 5th May now. ;) AND, your fanfic is the better one, looking at the number of reviews. So I don't know what you're talking about too.
Ahem.