Nothing much happens in this chapter, I'm really sorry. I'm expecting this will be the second to the last chapter... not sure, yet.
For the reviews I received last week: I cannot even tell you how grateful I am. Thank you, thank you so much, for still being here. :) I know I don't deserve them, but as many fanfiction writers have said before me, reviews are truly uplifting.
And to ashley, I sincerely doubt that I put you le/jp story to shame. But that was an incredibly sweet thing to say. You'll have to give me a link.
Once again, I own nothing you recognize.
"Lily! Over here!"
A thin, brown-haired girl with over-bright eyes called to Lily loudly from beneath the thick, draping branches of a large beech tree, her right hand raised at Lily in a warm hello.
Eleven-year-old Lily Evans, clad smartly in smooth, pressed robes, trotting about in shiny, black shoes, immediately broke into a wild, breathless run at the sight of her new friend, Belinda Carmichael, her brilliant red hair flying behind her in long, elaborate plaits.
Belinda flashed Lily a keen smile, her two small dimples showing.
"Liking the view?" She crooned, nudging Lily eagerly with her shoulder.
With a small, piercing squeal, Lily sighted a group of seventh-year Gryffindors milling about happily on a small patch of grass to her left, some sitting, others standing with their arms folded casually, all laughing violently at something apparently really amusing.
Lily clutched at her chest, eyes skyward. After a minute or so, she let out a sigh heavy with longing.
"Andrew Spellman is so dishy!" Lily simpered, gazing back at Belinda, a dreamy, far-away look in her big, green eyes as she leaned in close to her friend, and asked in a hopeful whisper, "D'you think he'll notice my braids?"
Lily held them out to Belinda proudly for inspection.
"They look fabulous!" Another girl, with very straight, inky-black hair nodded quickly in appreciation. She was sitting right next to Belinda, and her large, almond-coloured eyes brightened as she murmured, "You should wear it like that more often!"
"You know, I think he actually smiled at me in the corridor today!" bragged Lily, grinning.
Every once in a while, she would look over her shoulder optimistically at a tall, lean boy with dramatic, wavy, brown hair, and a wide, lopsided smile.
"I think I should introduce myself soon!" Lily proposed, fiddling nervously with the silk, navy-blue ribbons on her braids.
"Oh, did Belinda tell you?" Pragna was eyeing Belinda with an impish smile,
"Oh, Pragna, don't..." Belinda shot Pragna a long, pleading look.
"She said 'hi,' to Sirius Black in the common room today!" Pragna proclaimed in an undertone, suffering an almost immediate elbow to the stomach from Belinda.
With what seemed like enormous effort, Lily dragged her eyes away from a smiling Andrew Spellman, swinging about fiercely to glare at her friend.
"Oh, Bel, really, not him!" Lily shook her head in disgust,
"He's funny!" Belinda argued, frustrated, not for the first time, at Lily's great disapproval of Black. She twiddled her fingers anxiously, her eyes fixed on the grass.
"And he's good-looking, isn't he?"
"He's an arrogant little git, that's what he is," Lily put in coolly, playing with one of her braids with a nose thrust high in the air, "And that friend of his, Parker,"
"Potter," giggled Pragna,
"Potter," repeated Lily with an expression that looked like she'd just tasted something foul in her mouth, "Thinks he has the right to poke fun at anyone he pleases! He made Patricia Kinnebrook, cry remember? Made horrible fun of her glasses! Like his are so bloody wonderful,"
"Lils, that was nearly a month ago!" Belinda groaned, picking on a blade of grass, "And besides we found out later that he actually fancied her,"
"Can't help feeling sorry for the girl really," Lily clicked her tongue, and Belinda, and Pragna exchanged brief, knowing looks.
"Merlin's pants! It's him," Belinda cried all of a sudden, tugging on Pragna's arm fiercely as though aiming to pull it off, "It's him, it's Black!"
As though Belinda had informed her that it was suddenly raining out, Lily frowned.
Looking sideways, Lily instantly spotted a beaming Sirius Black, and his best friend, James Potter, ambling over, it seemed, to where they were sitting.
Lily flashed them her most disinterested stare, before returning her attention back to her braids.
"All right, Carmichael?" Sirius shouted, sweeping his long, dark hair out of his eyes. Lily almost gagged at Belinda's positively star-struck expression.
"All right, you?" Belinda breathed, as though unsure whether or not she was dreaming. Pragna pinched her, snickering.
James noticed Lily at once, and smiled.
"How's your friend? The one with the greasy hair? Snivelly," James laid a delicate stress on the word.
Lily immediately looked up at him in outrage, wincing.
"His name is Severus, and since when did you bloody give a toss?"
"Since pretty Lily Evans is friends with him," James sang, and Lily's friends giggled appreciatively.
Lily had to fight the surprising, overwhelming urge to blush. Recovering quickly, she threw James a filthy look.
"Oh, you're a charmer," She rolled her eyes, "Why don't you go back to hexing people in the corridors, and leave us alone,"
James's smile grew impossibly broader.
"I love a girl who gives me freedom," he smirked, and flipping her braids impatiently over her shoulder, Lily stood up, and growled.
"Go. Away." She hissed, the color of her cheeks dangerously matching the fiery shade of her hair.
"Not before I get myself some carrots," James promptly yanked both her braids into the air, "How much for two?"
Sirius boomed with laughter.
The seventh-years, including Andrew Spellman, who couldn't help overhearing Lily and James's amusing exchange, smiled approvingly out of apparent enjoyment, some joining Sirius in his laughter.
Lily's eyes shone with tears.
"I hate you, Potter! Just leave me alone!"
"I hate you, Potter! Just leave me alone!"
Lily shot up from her pillow with a jolt, her chest rising and falling violently beneath the heaps of heavy blankets she had piled on herself to keep out the cold.
Realizing where she was, Lily let out a huge gasp of relief.
"Just a dream," she mumbled, grateful, massaging her aching temples in slow, deep circles as she leaned back against her pillows with a tired sigh.
'Well...more like a nightmare, actually,' She reflected bitterly.
Lily raised her right hand above her, spreading out the fingers slowly, wincing.
"Bloody James Potter," She muttered the name with intense loathing under her breath.
Though the memory had happened nearly five years ago, the pain with which it seized her chest felt raw, immediate as fear—as though it had happened only the day before.
Lily swallowed, shutting her eyes tightly.
'Amazing how things change,' She thought in small amazement, remembering with a faint, creeping smile how long it took for Belinda to outgrow her fantastic weakness for Sirius Black. She lowered her hand stiffly to her side, bemused tears threatening to spill over her lashes. 'And how they stay the same.'
Lily threw off the tangled blankets, no longer in the mood to go back to sleep.
She stalked over to the closest window, where, on a levelled, stone panel, sat a tall, glass pitcher of water. She took a small, quiet sip, letting the kiss off the cool water wake her.
"LILY!" someone was shouting, fear crippling their voice to an anguished moan,
Frightened, Lily let down the glass pitcher instantly with a frown.
She wheeled around, surprised to find both Belinda, and Pragna gazing at her worriedly from the doorway, their mouths hanging slightly open.
"Oh, Lils! Thank Merlin you're awake!" wailed Pragna. Beside her, Belinda looked absolutely white. "Something's happened to Douglas!"
Lily hurried over to them, her forehead creased in a look of great concern.
"What? What's happened to him?"
Belinda threw up her hands.
"His friends found him on the school lake!"
"What?" Lily nearly screamed, her fingers closed over her mouth.
"Apparently someone had snuck into the Ravenclaw common room, and kidnapped him!" Pragna explained, shaking her head as though in a frantic attempt to make sense of it all, "Flitwick's trying to retrieve him right now!"
"We were just going to get you!" Belinda hooked her arm through Lily's briskly.
"But who would possibly-"
Lily stopped short behind them, her face stiffening. Something unpleasant had occured to her.
"You two go on ahead without me," She cut in fiercely, a steely glint visible in her striking green eyes.
Pragna and Belinda turned to look at her.
"Are you not going? He is your boyfriend..." Pragna was astounded.
"I'll be there," affirmed Lily, making her way roughly past the both of them, her face a mask of fury, "After I talk to a certain James Potter."
"Oh," Belinda muttered in a solemn whisper, as though she were mourning the dead.
Pragna took Belinda's hand quickly, pulling her down the long stairs that led to the common room while Lily trailed silently behind them, teeth gritted, fuming.
'Berk Potter. And when I thought he could sink no lower,' Lily winced deeply, almost shaking she was so livid, her slim hands curling into white, knuckled fists as the hateful vision of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, rolling around in their beds, roaring uncontrollably with laughter crossed her mind, unbidden.
'But he's outdone himself this time, hasn't he?' And Lily couldn't help feeling a slight stab of disappointment for Remus, whom she always thought she could rely on to brace the reigns on his often unruly friends.
With a quickly murmured goodbye to her friends, Lily turned on her heel sharply, her breathing shaky, and uneven as she began to climb the staircase up to the boys dormitory with a loud stomp on each step.
After a sharp inhalation of breath, Lily raised a pale fist to the farthest door, knocking so loudly and obnoxiously it was as though she had hoped to stir the entire Gryffindor male population into waking.
It took several minutes for anyone to respond.
Lily was contemplating knocking the door down with a speedy Reducto curse, when Sirius, unexpectedly shirtless, groggy-eyed, and tousle-haired appeared sleepily from behind the door.
"What is it?" He mumbled, pinching both his cheeks into conciousness.
Snarling, Lily took a decisive step forward, her slackened fists twitching with the desperate wish to swat him in the mouth.
"I know what you did, Black! You and your pathetic, little friends!" Lily roared, drawing herself up to full height.
Sirius seemed to be almost laughing at her seriousness.
"James always did say you were bright," he remarked lightly, folding his arms across his lean chest with a trace of a playful smile crossing the long, proud mouth,
"Now, go on, tell me," He leaned in, carefully lowering his face to hers, a curtain of dark hair falling over his gaunt, right cheek, "Did he make it to the Scottish loch?"
"It's not funny!" She growled menacingly, closing the space between her and Sirius without fear, "Douglas could have been seriously injured!"
Sirius eyebrows shot for a moment to his forehead. "Injured, you say?" He arranged his face into a puzzled look, "Hm...wasn't our intention at all."
Lily closed her eyes in frustration.
"Tell your mate to come out, and show his face," Lily demanded in a fierce hiss, and Sirius's mouth thinned into a half-grimace.
"What? So you can yell at him? Sorry. He's having a bit of a lie in, exhausting night, you can imagine-"
"It's not up to you, Black, whether or not I can speak to him," Lily sniped shrewdly, arching a disdainful eyebrow, her hip tilted at an angle, her face burning, and Sirius cocked his head at her, examining her coolly from behind great, reproachful eyes.
"Oh?" Sirius's voice had dipped into a menacing, deathly quiet, the frown on his face deepening, curling like lit paper at the corners,
"Believe me, Evans, if it were up to me," he appeared to seriously deliberate the point, "I would have it so that James forgot all about you."
Lily laughed hollowly.
"How funny that we should share the same wishes, Black," Her lips bowed into a cold sneer, and a flicker of deep loathing flared in Sirius's narrowed eyes,
"Perhaps if you taught Potter the meaning of 'no,' that might be helpful."
It was Sirius's turn to laugh; a high, mirthless laugh that oddly suited him, Lily thought, wincing.
"Arrogant, you called me?" He spat, his voice an almost deadly growl, "I guess it takes one to know one, doesn't it, Evans?"
Lily gazed at him in horror. The notion that she was similar to Sirius seemed to frighten her beyond anything else he had said to her.
"You don't know me, Black," Lily's voice was shaking uncontrollably, her eyes wild, unseeing with fury.
"You know what I do know?" Sirius whispered, waspish, glaring at her as though she were a bit of dirt clinging to the sole of his shoe, "You're too much trouble than your worth."
The color drained from Lily's face. She wanted to say something desperately, to retaliate with as much indignation, but Sirius's voice had stung her utterly like venom, and she was paralysed, unable to move an inch, her mouth paper dry...
"This isn't about me, Black," She croaked evasively, her voice weaker than a whisper, "It's about what you four did to-"
"Wake up, Evans!" Sirius roared, laughing again, "It's all about you!"
He wrung his hands in a violent gesture of exasperation.
"Why else did we do what we did this morning? Why else would James tell you the awful truth when he could have easily kept it to himself?" Sirius gazed at her despairingly, "For you, Evans! For you! All for you!"
There was a hideous finality with which Sirius spoke the last three words, and Lily shrank beneath the enormous weight of them.
"But I suppose it's all a right laugh for Lily Evans, isn't it? No Potter, get a life Potter, drown yourself in the lake, Potter," Sirius was imitating her, cruelly, accurately, mimicking the exact way she spat those very words to James, with that almost ruthless, self-righteous pleasure, with that clipped, high-flown tone that seemed to show how much she thought she was better than him.
It was like watching herself in a television. Lily couldn't help being horrified.
"Douglas didn't cheat on you, did he?" Sirius shook his head, as though Lily was hopeless, "You must be crap liar, Evans, because even you don't believe yourself."
And with one last contemptuous look, Sirius stood back, and shut the door on her face.
Lily took a disoriented step backwards, her head reeling.
She felt oddly numb, and she groped blindly for the stair-railing, resting herself against it desperately as thought it were a lifeline.
'Black's right...' Lily rested her face into her hands, shame burning up at the back of her neck. It stung unbelievably to admit.
'I just… I can't help how I feel about James… I've always felt this way about him… he's never given me any reason to think that he could be better, that he could change… until now,' Lily picked at a bit of lint that was clinging desperately to the hem of her skirt.
'Merlin, he told me the truth,' She shook her head dismally, appalled at how unfair she had been. 'He told me the truth, he did something right for once, and I treated him worse for it.'
Lily felt a stinging wetness prickle the back of her eyelids. Snot dribbled slowly out of her nose.
'I can't wait for him to grow up forever,' She heard herself saying to Remus only weeks before, 'I'd be an old maid.'
Tears rose in her eyes as an unexpected realization hit her.
'I'm the one who needs to grow up.'
For so long she had clung so stubbornly to a schoolyard grudge; she had let it eat away at her, had allowed it to twist her judgement, blur her perception—blind her. Blind her to the possibility that arrogant, bullying toerags can change.
Change into sweet, considerate headboys whose hearts are always in the right place.