A/N: Wow! 64 hits, 2 reviews, 1 alert, and a C2? You guys love me! Ok, you love Naruto and Zelda...but really, you love me! HA! Ok, chapter 2 now...WHHHEEEE!!!

The Great Jiraiya Tree stood tall in the dense forest, the shadow of the bulk of the ancient woodlander casting down upon the ground as Naruto sat himself below. With a sigh, the ancient tree began a very long, boring monologue about the history of the land of Konoha.

"Naruto...the land of Konoha never used to be so prosperous. Generally speaking, it was a land that was new, full of wonder and amazement. However, hardly anything grew there. The soil was un-harvestable, the water un-drinkable, and the land full of danger. This all changed when three great faeries came down from the heavens..."

"And that is how the land of Konoha came into being. Now do you understand the back story of this ancient land?" The Jiraiya tree gazed down upon the boy. However, in his zest to tell the story of the land, he had, unequivocally, put the boy to sleep. He was resting with his head on a pillar of dirt, snoring slightly. "Errr...NARUTO! WAKE UP!" The boy came alive, shaking himself.

"Eh...what? I'm awake, alright? Geez!" Getting back up onto his feet, Naruto looked up at the tree, sighing to himself.

"You didn't hear a word I said, did you?" Naruto shrugged.

"I don't know. Something about faeries, and fire, and water, and earth...I have a heart, and there is some wind...so where the heck is Captain Planet? Why not call him?" The Jiraiya tree shook with annoyance.

"You little...look, I am trying to tell you that the land is full of evil and danger. You will have to go on a long, dangerous journey to rid the land of the evil. You have to be prepared for this!" Naruto sighed once again, gazing over at Sakura as she hung motionless in the air.

"Eh...why don't you do it? I mean, you're a faerie, you fly around and stuff. You probably have magic or something. Why don't you do it?" The small, pink being sighed exasperatedly.

"You see what I mean, Jiraiya Tree-sama? The boy has no initiative, and he's dumb as a post. Obviously, you should have picked a brighter, more intelligent person." Naruto glared at her, than back at the tree.

"Fine! I'll do your stupid quest! Now, what do I have to do?" The Jiraiya Tree shook with laughter. As it did so, a large opening formed on its trunk, leaving the way clear.

"You must enter me, Naruto. Only then..."

"Whoa whoa whoa...No one said anything about entering you. I mean, no offense or anything...but I'm straight. I don't play that side of the field...I'm just not that way. Sorry." Sakura shook with anger, flying at the boy and hitting him on the head. "OW! What the hell was that for?"

"Baka! He means enter inside of him! Not...that way. Sicko." Flying off to the face of the tree, she bowed. "Let me guess...I get the pleasure of accompanying him, right?" The tree laughed once more.

"Of course. You are his partner, after all. Now, Naruto. Please, enter my bowels and defeat the evil that lurks there. This is a test...pass, and you may have my blessing..."

"Wait...so this is a test. If I pass this, and defeat the evil, or whatever, I get your blessing?" The tree shivered.

"That's right. You get my blessing." Naruto laughed lightly, turning.

"Naw, I think I'll go home now. See ya!" He took two steps before an enraged Sakura flew at his face.

"Look! I'm your partner, and vice-versa. Now, you get in there, before I kick your sorry butt all over this glade, you hear me?" Naruto took a back step, gazing up at the maddened faerie.

"Um...alright. I guess I see your point." Taking a deep breath, he turned, walking towards the tree. At the entrance, he peered in. "Looks clear. Maybe this won't be so bad after all..." With a push from behind, he tumbled in, Sakura following after.

"Be brave, young one. Be brave..."

Inside the cavernous tree trunk, Naruto gazed about him. All around, vines crept over the walls and on the floor, creating a lush carpet of green. On his left was a wall covered in the thick, ropey vines, on his right were pots.

"Hey...how did those pots get here? Did someone put them here or something?" Sakura shrugged.

"I don't know. Now, we have to get going. What do we do first?" Naruto walked forwards, looking around. Suddenly, he found himself on an ungainly mess of spider web. Looking down, he saw a dizzying drop below. With a scream of horror, he began trying to get himself off the web, finding it difficult to get anywhere on the bouncy material. As soon as he was on land that was solid, he began to hyperventilate.

"Did...did you see...see that? That drop...it was huge!" The faerie flew to the gap, peering down.

"Hmm...looks like we have to get down there. What do we do now?" Naruto sighed, getting up.

"We really have to go down there?" Sakura nodded, flying closer to him.

"Yes, yes we do. Now, I suggest you get a plan together, because we need to defeat the evil of the tree." Naruto glanced quizzically at his partner.

"Wait...the tree is supposed to be the good of the forest, right? The guardian of the sanctuary and all that?"

"Yeah...so what's your point?" Sitting on the ground, Naruto pouted.

"Seems stupid that a guardian has evil inside of him. Why doesn't he just, you know...like, magic it out or something?" A shot to the head left him moaning.

"BAKA! Why don't you ever do what you are told? Now, get up! Let's get going?" Naruto sighed, getting up and wandering around.

"Hmm...I wonder if these pots have anything in them?" Taking one, he threw it, breaking it upon the ground.

"HEY! You don't know who's pots those are. Don't break them!" His faerie flew over, trying to pick up the pieces, which were far heavier than she had originally thought.

"Eh...who's going to know, right? Let's see..." Rummaging through the broken shards, he smiled down at a small item beneath a larger piece. "Hey...this looks like something." Picking it up, he held it above his head. "Um...why am I doing this again? And what is this thing?" Sakura flew over, investigating it.

"It's a Jiraiya nut. You can use it to flash bang someone." Naruto glanced up quizzically.

"Flash bang?" Sakura sighed, placing a hand on her head.

"You know...blind someone. It's good, just put it away and let's go!" Naruto smiled, holding the nut.

"Watch this. And...AWAY!" The nut disappeared, somehow ending up in his bag. He scratched his head, looking around himself. "Hey...you know that I'm supposed to have a bag, right? Well...just to ask...um...where is it?" Sakura sighed once more.

"The bag is fictional, Naruto. It's just in your head. Believe me when I say that when you need something, you will have it, alright?" Naruto shook his head.

"This is confusing me. So, say I want a...Jiraiya Stick!" He placed his hand out, and immediately, a stick appeared. "Hey, good stuff." The faerie buzzed around.

"You know that you have one less stick, right? Remember what you have, otherwise you won't have something that you need." Naruto flipped a hand at her.

"Yeah yeah yeah. Cool, a stick. What to do with it?" Suddenly, a Jiraiya Baba sprang up, getting into a coiled, cobra striking position and watching the two warily. "Hey...I bet this is a great sword like attack weapon thing...or something!" Running full tilt at the creature, Naruto raised the stick above his head. "CHA!" Bringing it down with all his might, he smashed the creature on top of its head, sending it shrinking back into the ground. However, the force of the smash broke the stick into two bits, leaving them on the ground. "Oh...well, now I have two sticks! Fancy that!" He bent over to pick them up, but they immediately vanished. "Hey...where did they go?" Sakura again sighed, flying over.

"You can't use a broken stick, Naruto. Geez, even I know that." Naruto looked at her with sarcasm.

"Yeah...but you know everything, remember?" A punch on the head silenced him, so he went to picking up the remaining pots and throwing them against the wall. After picking up another two yen and some more of the nuts, he walked to the web again. "So...we have to go down there, huh?" The faerie nodded, looking up.

"Hey! Listen! I see a ledge up there! Why not go up there and jump through the web?" Naruto glanced up, shrinking slightly at the height of the ledge.

"Um...better thought. Why not just cut through the stuff with my sword, yeah? I mean, I have a sword, and it is just a spider web, correct?" He bent over, ready to slice. Another whack on the head stopped him in his tracks.

"Baka! Why do you always have to do things your way? Do it my way. It makes sense!" Naruto grumbled to himself. It didn't really make that much sense when a sword would have worked just fine, but whatever. Walking to the wall with the vines, he began his slow trek up the side of the tree, looking for handhold's. Making it to the top, he caught his breath, walking along the pathway to another set of vines. Looking up, he smiled. Piece of cake. More vines, than the ledge. He began climbing this set as well, until a very large arachnid flew down, maddened in a reddened rage. Naruto held his breath as it side-swiped him, sending him flying back onto the ledge, looking up at it.

"Holy crap! Did you see that thing? What is it?" The faerie flew up to where the spider sat, turning about in a small circle. She nodded to herself, flying back down.

"It's a skulltula. A spider, you know? You can kill it by attacking it with anything. It's a smaller one." Naruto scratched his head.

"How do you know it's a smaller one...and what do you mean, kill it by attacking with anything?" The faerie sighed once more.

"You really want to know how I know?" Naruto smiled, nodding.

"Yes! Tell me!" The faerie smiled, whipping out a small device.

"It's a Zeldadex! Kinda like a Pokedex...but not as lame!" Naruto face-falled for a second before getting back up.

"Right! Ok...so, anything huh? Hmm...what to use...what to use..." Looking around, he didn't see anything.

"HEY! LISTEN!"

"WHAT! Why do you keep saying that! You talk, I listen. You don't have to say that!" The faerie buzzed slightly, but held its calm.

"Whatever. Hey, go up this path. I think there is a door up there." She pointed upwards, where the path continued on. Naruto nodded, bypassing the crazed insect on his left and walking up the path to the door. Opening it, he looked in on the room, where two large pillars sat in the middle. On the other side, a treasure chest sat, waiting for him.

"So...a treasure chest? Let's get going!" Taking a running leap, Naruto sailed over the first gap, landing on the pillar. As he made it to the pillar, it began to slowly sink into the ground. Gaining his feet, Naruto sailed the next gap, landing on the second pillar, which began to sink as well.

"Darn it! Why do these things keep doing that!" Taking another leap, he made it safely to the platform, looking back at the pillars which had sunk into the ground.

"That was close...I almost didn't make it," Sakura said, twirling about. Naruto glared at her.

"...You do realize that you could have just flown over that, right?" The faerie thought about it, but kept its silence. Sighing, Naruto went to the chest, opening it and digging inside. He came up with an item, holding it above his head.

"Hey! A slingshot! Cool!" Hooking it to his arm, he began play firing it, though he had no bullets to use. "So...what do I use for ammo?" Looking around, he began searching for a weapon that was useful.

"Hmm...how about this over here, Naruto?" Naruto walked over, seeing a scattering of objects on the ground. Picking one up, he held it above his head, where it twirled.

"It's so much fun when that happens! I love it!" Suddenly, the item appeared in his slingshot, and he stared at it.

"It's a Jiraiya seed. You can use it like ammunition for your slingshot. Now, let's go!" Turning, the faerie began to glide across the gap when a seed flew by on her right. Turning, she glared. "What the hell was that!" Naruto, slightly blushing, put the slingshot behind him.

"No...nothing." Grunting, the faerie again turned, and Naruto sighed. "Damn it...just missed." Hopping down, he walked the length of the room, staring up at the ledge. "How the heck am I supposed to get up there?" Sakura pointed to a ladder, which hung above his head.

"Shoot the ladder down, Naruto. It will fall, allowing you to get up." Naruto sighed.

"What is a ladder doing up there?"

"I don't know! Just shoot it down and let's get out of here...I'm starting to get claustrophobic in here!" Naruto nodded, aiming up at the ladder and shooting it with a well-placed seed. It fell with a crunch, landing right side up on the ground. Naruto smiled, cresting the ladder and walking out of the room. Sighting in on the skulltula once they had made it back to the vine wall, Naruto made quick work of it with his slingshot. It tumbled from the wall, kicking out vainly before poofing away in a cloud of smoke. Not having the time to understand that whole mess, Naruto quickly began climbing the wall, ending up on the next floor. Another treasure box stood in his path, and he walked to it, opening it and grabbing out a piece of parchment.

"Hey...a map! Awesome!" Suddenly, he threw it away.

"Hey! Why'd you do that! We need that!" Sakura flew down, picking the map up off the ground and holding it out to him. He shook his head.

"Naw...I'm a man. Men don't need directions, don't you know that?" The faerie huffed, but dropped the map.

"Fine...but don't come crying to me when you need a map." A ledge stood out a little ways, and a skulltula dropped down, its legs flailing about.

"So? What about this guy? He's a bit bigger than the other one." Just then, the skulltula turned, as if bored of the two already. Peeved, Naruto flashed out with his sword, cutting the creature down and sending it flying down to the ground. "Show you to turn around on me!" Looking over the ledge, he balked at the height, stepping back a ways.

"Ummm...are you sure about this?" However, before he could rethink the plan, he was shoved out into space by his pink faerie. With a yell, he plummeted downwards. "Hey...this isn't so bad. WHEEE!!!" He flew through the air, looking down at the spider web. "I hope this works!" WHUMP! He smashed into the ground, knocked senseless. Flying down, Sakura sighed.

"Baka..." Again climbing back up, Naruto managed to jump directly onto the web, smashing through it down to the lower levels.

"Good job. Now...move!" Sighing, Naruto began the task of going down into the bowels of the tree. In it, he found puzzles to solve, skulltula's and Jiraiya Babas to fight, and tasks to do. Going down ever deeper, he found himself in a room with three insane bushes, all shooting Jiraiya nuts at him. As one would pop down into a burrow, another would shoot.

"Um...so, what do I do here?" Sakura flew about, judging the aim of the nuts.

"Well, just use your shield and block the nuts. It should send them back at them. Try it!" Raising his shield, he blocked a nut, sending it flying back. It smashed into the creature, making it retreat into its burrow. It didn't pop out again. "Hey...it worked. Huh." Rolling his eyes, Naruto sent another nut flying back, smashing into the next one, which retreated as well. The third popped out, firing off a nut. However, as the nut flew back at it, it popped back down, coming back up a second later.

"Alright! I give up! Geez, trying to pop a guy when he's just having some fun. I hate you!" Naruto walked up, taking out his sword.

"Tell me something, little weed. Or else I'll...I'll...I'll chop you up...or something." The bush looked around, then sighed.

"Fine. The creature in the next room hates it when things poke it in the eyes. Is that good enough for you?"

"Ummm...ok..." The bush nodded, going back into its burrow as Naruto and Sakura went to the door on the opposite side of the room. Pushing it open, they found themselves in a large area, dark and foreboding.

"I don't like the looks of this. Walk out there, where we can't be ambushed!" Naruto nodded at his friend, walking out with sword drawn. Suddenly, a monster flopped down from the top of the roof, sending Naruto to his knees. It reared up, screeching.

"Holy crap! That thing is huge!" Turning, Naruto began running from the insane monster as it delved to destroy him with its crushing feet and large pincers. Sakura flew up, watching the boy's progress.

"This is ridiculous. He isn't getting anywhere!" Flying back down, she got into the creature's face. It reared back, roaring out. "SHUT UP! YOU'RE ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME!" She backhanded the creature in its monstrous eye, making it back step and hiss.

"OOOOWWWW!! Why'd you have to go and do that!" It sulked, its bottom lip quivering. "You...you're mean. I'm leaving! GOODBYE!" Turning, it began making its way out of the cavern, leaving Sakura tinkling slightly.

"Is...is it gone?" Naruto walked out from his hiding place, looking around grimly.

"Yeah yeah. Big scaredy-baby. Geez...some hero."

"Hey! What's that?" Walking over to a large, blue, heart-shaped crystal, Naruto picked it up, smiling as it shone down on him. "ALRIGHT! A HEART...SHAPED THINGY! SWEET!" It disappeared suddenly, and he felt himself feel better.

"Whoopdy-doo! Now, let's get out of here...this place is beginning to make me feel like a gnome." Both stepped into a light radiating from the ground. It turned out to be a portal, sending them back outside the Jiraiya tree to where the deity still stood.

"Ahh...Naruto! Sakura! You have made it. Tell me, did you do the task?" Naruto smiled, putting up his thumb.

"Of course! I'm the best!" Sakura grunted, shaking her head.

"Big head for such a short person." The Jiraiya Tree laughed, staring down at the boy and faerie as they stood there.

"Well done. Now...I have much too tell you. Listen to my words..." Naruto sighed, sitting on the ground.

"Can you tell me the short version please? You're kinda boring." The tree huffed, but did as told.

"I've been poisoned, I'm dying, you have to save this land, have fun, brush your teeth, take the garbage out, and goodbye!" With that, the tree died, leaving the two alone.

"Well, that's just great! I'm going home now!" Turning, he began walking home, when the faerie buzzed in his face.

"No way! We have to save Konoha, remember?" The youth scratched his chin, looking at the ground.

"Oh yeah...do I have to? I mean, the tree is dead now, right? We don't have to listen to him anymore." Sakura grimaced.

"Yes, it was his last wish. Now, let's go!" Naruto sighed, walking along with his faerie.

"Hey, Sakura...I just realized something..."

"Yeah, what?"

"...You're naked..."

"..."

"OUCH!"

CHAPTER 2! HURRAY!