Hey dearies! Thanks all of you for those awesome reviews! Anyhow, it's half-half of emojunk (I had to give Edward's perspective of that dramatic quarrel or it'll be too unfair to him!) and action (I can already hear you cheering).
So yeah, I hope you keep up with that awesome reviewing, or it means that something went seriously wrong in my fic. :/
But in the meantime, I'd be loving you!
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Disclaimer: It's mine. All mine! …yeah right.
Chapter Nine
ePOV
I had driven the truck back to her house, but the moment I entered her driveway, my sensitive ears picked up sounds of sobbing and it haunted me. I couldn't resist the urge to climb in through that window and so I did. She didn't see me anyway, not when her face was buried so deep in her soaked pillow. Her shoulders were shaking so much it looked like they were going to snap. I suddenly felt thankful that I couldn't hear her thoughts as I raced back home. I wouldn't have been able to deal with that overwhelming sense of guilt, not like it wasn't overwhelming now. I pushed myself and ran, competing with the wind, with me losing horribly.
Beautiful sights were just blurs—green and brown for trees, pink and red for flowers. That was what it was supposed to be, but it wasn't. Everything was just black or white.
Everybody was at home when I sprinted through the big white doors. Wisps of thought-voices hushed and shushed around me, and try as I may, I couldn't get rid of them. Jasper's wave of tranquility helped and I shot him a grateful look. He smiled and shrugged gently as I dashed into my room, desperate for a quiet environment to sort out my emotions.
I threw myself onto my cold and stale bed with as much force as I could possibly muster, hoping that the impact would shock me out of my mental agitation. The awful loud bang stunned me only temporarily, and my memory rushed back almost immediately, taunting me. I buried my face in my hands as I felt pent-up frustration hammering its vicious fists in my dead heart. I have never felt anything like this before, and it was all thanks to some ordinary girl.
And then, I realised that Bella was anything but ordinary. She was immune to my gift, like nobody was before. Her blood made my diamond knees go weak, like nobody did before. But last of all, she was so right it so many aspects! She wasn't like all the other girls, who fell so in love with me that they accepted anything I said. It was as if my words were the oxygen they needed in order to survive. Yet with this Bella girl, it was the total opposite. She hated me; I knew that the moment we met.
I wouldn't have blamed her since it was my fault I had reacted that way. (But then again, it was her fault that her blood was so… so delicious!) However, it wasn't like I didn't apologize. I don't usually apologize to females, because they had to fight to even speak to me. Yet, I had to degrade myself for this girl and she outright ignored me. sighing, I pushed that painful flashback out of my brain. But as I did so, another memory floated back up to take the place of the one which I just tried pushing out—the recent spat with Bella.
Stop smiling! Stop treating me like I'm just trying to get your attention like the other girls would. I'm not as desperate and not as blind. All I want to know from you was just that small fact, which you were so kind to abuse me brutally with. But that's no way to treat me like dirt, no way to treat the other girls like nothing! If you regret saving my life, then I apologize! I'll stay out of your way so you'll never have to bother with me ever again!
This dialogue was on rewind within my mind and it wouldn't go away. It had been repeating in my mind throughout, at first like background music, but now it's the theme song of the day or something. It's just stuck there, refusing to go away. I felt like hitting my head over and over, so I could find the 'stop' button. It wasn't there, and I knew it wouldn't help, yet each word was piercing into me every time it repeated. The thing was that it was all true.
Yes, I couldn't believe it myself either, because the way she said it made me sound like an extreme jerk, which was why I became so angry—because she was always making me feel like dirt. But it's all true. Stop smiling! Stop treating me like I'm just trying to get your attention like the other girls would. I wanted to use that I-know-you-like-me tactic. But with just a smile, she caught on and blasted me like there was no tomorrow. And it went on. I'm not as desperate and not as blind. This made me wonder, seriously. I've always seen myself as this perfect and beautiful guy, which all the girls would lust after, naturally. But Bella said that she wasn't desperate or blind. I felt indignant that she'd think that way, but it made me wonder all the more; how many girls went out with me just because it was the "in" thing to do. I didn't like that thought, because I'm always in control, not the girls but me.
All I want to know from you was just that small fact, which you were so kind to abuse me brutally with. Okay, this one was really really accusing. I didn't abuse her in any way at all! I just couldn't tell her the truth.
… Okay, so maybe I went a little overboard with the whole I-know-you-like-me thing, but it wasn't abuse. I don't abuse anybody! I don't.
But that's no way to treat me like dirt, no way to treat the other girls like nothing! I have no comment for the first half of that statement. She treated me like dirt first. It's only right to treat her back the way she treated me. And that's that. But! Who said I treated the other girls like nothing? If they were nothing, then they weren't worth my time. But they did; every single one of them female students in Forks' High. I'm going to have to confront her for this one. If there's one thing I can't tolerate, it'll be insulting my talent and profession!
If you regret saving my life, then I apologize!
This sentence was the one which stung me more than the rest, mainly because she realised that earlier than me and made me see that it was indeed the case. I'm ashamed of that, but it was nonetheless true. I did regret saving her life. She caused me so much misery, and all I did was to save her life. Every time I hear Carlisle fretting over this issue secretly, I wonder what will happen if I didn't save Bella. Every time I see Bella trying to get to the bottom of things, I wished I didn't save her.
And I didn't realize that until Bella screamed it out loud in my face.
I felt worse and didn't know what to think anymore. Things weren't the same ever since Bella entered my life, and I didn't know whether to hate that or to welcome that. I only know that this girl had serious issues that she needs to deal with, and I'm going to have to clear all those misunderstandings up, somehow.
For the first time in my whole vamp life, I dreaded school. And it had to be Bella who did that to me. Wonderful.
bPOV
Indeed, Isabella Swan was changed overnight.
The new Bella emerged refreshed fro the bathroom, humming tunelessly to herself as she went downstairs for breakfast.
"Good morning, Dad!" I kissed his cheek and grabbed a piece of toast, showing Charlie that I did appreciate him preparing breakfast. Stuffing it into my mouth, I gave a goofy grin as Charlie tried masking his surprise at my chirpiness. He was just about to speak when my eyes made contact with the kitchen clock. "Oops, Daddy! Time to go! Loveya!" I snatched another toast, swooped to get my bag and ran to my truck. Starting it up noisily, I backed out of our gravelly driveway and headed for Forks' High.
By the time I entered my homeroom, everybody was already there. I threw my backpack casually into my assigned seat and went over to Jessica's table. It was crowded with people who were actually interested in the nonsense she was spouting. Don't get me wrong; I love her all the same!
"Hey, y'all! What's up?"
A series of 'hello's and 'hey's ensued and I smiled brightly at each individual before pulling a chair over for myself. I looked at Jessica, "So, what were you guys talking about before I barged in?" Jessica's eyes lit up. "La Push! Everyone's invited." And she swept her hand grandly at the people surrounding her. I raised my eyebrows. "Well, go on. Don't let me stop you from going ahead."
As conversation continued, I observed the people sitting around Jessica. I know some of them because I remember seeing their faces at the lunch table. But there were new faces too. Some pleasant, some not quite. I guess I'll just have to ask Jessica about the new ones later on.
Chattering animatedly to Mike, I followed him as he led me to our next class. Lunch was enjoyable, especially since Jessica made introductions to those people I didn't recognize. I had put on my friendly smile and they all smiled warmly back. There were still the select few who gave me the cold shoulder and I disliked them immediately. I knew it was wrong of me to judge people like that, but I couldn't help it; it wasn't as if I deserved their frowns and mocking whispers.
I bounced into the classroom, faltering slightly as I caught sight of his "godly back", as Jessica called it. So it was Biology! How could I have forgotten? Sighing inwardly, I wondered how things would go after the way we parted yesterday. But then, Mike sent me back to the surface by tapping my shoulder lightly. "Anything wrong?"
"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong. Everything's absolutely fine." I assured him and he accepted my answer with a shrug, "If you say so." Pulling myself together, I told myself that nothing will get in my way today. With that, I walked to my seat confidently. There was even a certain spring to my steps, if I could say so myself.
"Hey, you."
"Hey, yourself." I shot back quickly, but lightly. Although slightly taken aback with his very casual greeting, I thought I dealt with it well. Smiling to myself, I saw his eyes flicker in surprise at my quick reply. Good. But curiously enough, his eyes were a shade lighter now. Like pale shimmering gold. I still didn't buy his contact lenses story, but whatever. As if I cared.
Flipping open my notebook, I saw an old doodle and hastily turned the page, hoping that he didn't see it.
"Saw that."
Damn. Nevertheless, I shrugged, in what I thought to be a nonchalant way.
"Still bothering you, huh?" He persisted annoyingly.
"No!" Oh no, too fast!
He grinned widely before turning back to the blackboard. Gosh, I hate him. I swore I won't let him get to me! Count to ten, Bella. He's an idiot. Yes, an idiot. Just take a deep breath.
"Been saving any other damsels in distress lately?" I casually threw a statement back to him and his stiffened back satisfied me. "Why, I have been reading articles about a burglar in the loose."
Oops, I think I've pushed it too far. His clenched fist doesn't look good. Should I apologize? No! But, that was a tad too mean, right? I don't want him to get a bad impression of me. But then again, who cares what h—
"Mike seems to be in love lately."
Have I mentioned how much I hate him?
Determined not to look affected, I replied conversationally. "Really?"
"Yeah, really. But I think it's just a crush. The female party doesn't seem to be very interested. Doesn't seem to know about poor Mikey's love, either."
"Really?" Count to ten, Bella! One, two, three…
"Of course! In fact, I think that girl…" He lowered his voice conspiratorially. Oh no, I knew which card he was playing and I didn't like it. Not a bit. Four, five, six…
"…likes me."
ARGH. Word vomit!
"What?!" I shrieked out loud. "NO!"
Ohmigod, talk about déjà vu! I totally fell for the same trap again! Noticing Mr.Cleft looking at me, along with the rest of the class, I shrunk in my seat, smiling awkwardly.
Oh god, kill me now.
And there you go, the long awaited chapter nine! I don't know why I'm updating it now because I really have another writing assignment to complete. Maybe because I love you guys too much? Look, I'm really really sorry that I haven't updated for more than two months, but I've got everything planned out already. I just need the time. Promise I'll make time to update more often.
So review please! The reviews you give me really put a smile on my face and motivate me to update faster, regardless of the homework pile.
And oh, I've posted a new story, Northern Lights. It's just a compilation of one-shots. This chapter was a challenge!fic, really. The challenge was to include:
"Hey, you."
"Hey, yourself."
And I did! Hooray. So show some support to Northern Lights too, okay? A happy author can update fast. You'll be surprised by what your reviews can do!
Peace!