Hurray! Chapter 3 is finally done! Hurrah's are in order! You ready? HUR...
Disclaimer: I wish that I owned parts of this. That way, I would be rich, and you'd never see me ever! But, I don't, and you do. SUFFER ALL YE CHILDREN!
As Naruto made final preparations to leave his tree house in Konoha Forest, he pondered over the last few minutes of his life. In all, he had saved the Great Jiraiya Tree from a horrible, bloodthirsty evil. Well, ok, he almost saved it from a horrible, bloodthirsty evil. It didn't help that it had died. He shook his head, looking at his pack.
"Naruto...what are you doing?" Naruto glanced up.
"Packing for my trip. What's it look like?"
"You won't need underwear." Glancing down, Naruto brought up his boxers, holding them in front of him.
"What do you mean? This is a trip, right? I need fresh clothes."
"No, you won't. You'll just wear the same clothes over and over again, day after day." Naruto gazed at her questioningly, than submitted, putting his clothes back.
"Alright...but I don't want to hear you complain when its been three days and I haven't changed clothes." A sigh from the pink faerie made him hurry his agenda. He didn't pack much, as the stuff he wore was literally all he took.
"Ok! So, we're done here. Let's get going towards somewhere else. We have to figure out where to go next." Naruto smiled, pulling a piece of paper from his pocket.
"We need to go to Hyrule Castle." Sakura balked, flying over to him.
"How the hell did you know that?" Naruto grinned, holding the paper up.
"Player's Guide. I know everything...Ow!"
"Cheater!"
"Oh well, whatever. Come on, let's get goin'!" Together, the duo began to walk towards the exit from the forest, and everything that Naruto had ever known to that point. Walking through a small aperture created by a log, they began a walk across a small bridge. However, in the middle of the bridge, a figure appeared from behind them.
"Na..Naruto-kun. You're...you're leaving?" He sighed, turning around with a smile.
"Yeah, Hinata-chan! I'm just going on a little adventure to save-the-world, or something like that. Don't worry, though. I'll be back!" Turning, he once again began to leave, but the girl stopped him first.
"Wait...don't go...yet. I...I have...have something for you." As he turned, she held out an ocarina. He took it, gazing at it.
"Um...not to be rude or anything, but uh...you got a drum set or something else I could have? The ocarina is kinda...girly." Hinata glanced down ashamedly. Seeing her face, Naruto smiled. "Wait. Forget I said anything. Thank you Hinata. Thank you." Hinata smiled, taking a reed from her pocket.
"Here, Naruto-kun. Let me...let me play a song for you to...to remember me by!" She began playing, and Naruto tapped his fingers along with the beat. When she was done, he instantly knew the song by heart. "Whenever you're in need, play that song, and...and I will know it's you, and help you...or something."
"Thanks, Hinata-chan!" Striding forward, Naruto gave his friend a hug, causing her to faint.
"Thanks! Now it'll be forever until I can get her to wake up! Thanks a lot...jerk." Anko, the girl's faerie, began buzzing angrily over the fallen girl, trying to re-awaken her.
"Come on, Naruto. Let's get going!" Turning, the duo began making their way out of the forest.
"Hmmm...I wonder if she knows any Slim Shady?"
Outside, in Konoha Field, Naruto glanced around. Nothing but fields as far as he could see. "This place is boring! Why are we here again?" Sakura sighed.
"Baka! We have to get to the palace, correct? It's over there!" Pointing to the opposite side of the field, Sakura flew up for a better view. She could see the mountain smoking just to the right of the castle, and some other places. Flying back down, she smiled.
"It would be nice to fly. That way, I wouldn't have to run everywhere!" Sakura smiled again.
"One of the perks of being a faerie I suppose."
"Is another of those perks being annoying, too?...Ouch!" Walking together across the field, they stopped momentarily for Naruto to clip some more bushes. Coming to the gate, they stopped, looking at it.
"Wow...it's big." Suddenly, the gate began tipping forward, cutting them off from the rest of the town. A wolf howled in the distance, and immediately, Naruto felt a chill go up his spine.
"We'll have to wait until morning to get inside. I heard that they close the gates because monsters roam the field at night." Naruto turned, quaking.
"Mo...monsters? No one ever told me about monsters!" Just then, a couple of said beasts popped from the ground, shambling slowly towards the two. With a scream, Naruto began running as fast as his legs could carry him, away from the danger and everything they stood for. When he thought himself a reasonable distance away, he turned, smiling at the fact that the creatures were nowhere in sight. "Hehehe...I can outrun 'em, at least!" Smiling, he turned back around. His face dropped, however, as two more popped from the earth in front of him, beginning their slow walk for flesh. Naruto began to cower back, bringing his small, wooden shield up to protect himself. "You...do something! These things are going to eat me!" Sakura sighed, staring at them.
"Come on. Look how slow they are. Just...just whack 'em with your sword or something!" Gulping, Naruto waited until one came near. Swinging out, he caught it on the arm, breaking it off. The creature continued its attack, however armless it was. He swung out again, causing it crumble. A yen appeared from the corpse, and he picked it up while avoiding an attack from the other creature. By now, he was getting into the spirit of things. Swinging high, he aimed for its head, catching it just below the jaw and dislodging its head from its main body. Its body continued to walk around, swinging vainly out for him in hopes of catching him off guard. However, with no head to direct it, it looked more ungainly than anything Naruto had ever seen.
"Um...is it serious?" Sakura shrugged, flying up to the beast and landing on its shoulder. It flailed around at the touch, and she hopped off.
"I guess...it's just dumb." Naruto sighed, walking up and dispatching the headless creature. It disintegrated, leaving behind some more yen.
"Hey, question. These things are nothing but bones and...nothing, right? Where are these yen coming from?" Sakura shrugged once more.
"It's a great mystery of life, Naruto. Now, come on! We have to get into the castle!" Running back, they found the castle drawbridge lowering as the sun began to peek around the mountain. Running around the field had caused them too lose much time, which Naruto didn't necessarily hate.
"Well, let's get going. Straight through town, no looking back!" Walking straight in, he marched resolutely forward. "Yes! Straight on through! No turning, no looking, no nothing! I need to get to the castle and...oh! Pretty shield!" Running to a shop, he pressed his nose against the glass, staring at a Konoha metal shield, neatly embroidered with the emblem of the nine-tailed fox, ripping apart a shrew. He sighed. It cost eighty yen, and he only had fifty. "I suppose I could go cut some more bushes. That would take forever, though." Turning, he began walking away, until a sign caught his interest. "Hmm...what's this? Sell masks? Out on loan? Interesting!" Walking into the mask shop, he went to the counter. "So, what's all this about selling masks?" The shop owner, some Chinese looking guy, turned, smiling.
"Ah yes. Yes yes. Sell masks you do. We borrow you mask, than you give money back us. Yes! Make rich us. Much rich. Much much rich!" Naruto, understanding very little of this, smiled.
"Ok! I'll do it! Let me have..." Instead of picking a mask for himself, the shop owner thrust one into his hand.
"You no pick! You sell this one first! You sell, make me rich! Very good! Go sell! Much money!" Turning, Naruto walked from the shop, looking down at the fox mask he held in his hand.
"Strange. Why would someone want to look like a fox?" Shrugging, he held it above his head, where it rotated for a moment before disappearing. "Ok! Now to go to the castle." Wandering to the front of the castle road, he spied a girl wandering around on the dirt path. "Excuse me, miss...um, is there a way in?" She giggled, pointing at him.
"Hello. My name is Tenten. You're all orange...kinda like...an orange. I'm gonna name you...fruity." Sakura laughed lightly.
"Fruity...fits him perfectly." Naruto sighed, pointing a finger at her.
"Hey! My name is Naruto, alright!" The girl smiled.
"Naruto...what kinda name is that? Naruto...sounds weird. Oh, you have a faerie? Cool..." He sighed. The girl was totally ditzy.
"Yes...cool. Now, a way into the castle?" She laughed lightly, pointing to the side of the wall.
"The guards won't let you past the gate. But you can climb this vine and get into the grounds. Be careful, though. If the guards see you, they'll throw you out." Naruto nodded, grabbing a vine.
"Right. Don't let them see me. Got it!" Climbing a vine, he stopped as her voice floated up to him.
"Hey! My dad went in there, but he hasn't come back! Can you, perhaps...find him and wake his ass up? If he is asleep, which I am certain he is!" Naruto smiled, looking down.
"Sure!" The girl smiled back, then began rummaging in her pouch. Taking out an item, she tossed it up to him. He smiled, snatching out to grab it. However, it slipped out of his hand, falling to the ground and cracking all over the ground. "Um...oops." The girl sighed.
"That was a cucco egg. It was supposed to help you wake him up." Naruto grimaced.
"Um...sorry." The girl smiled back, taking out another egg.
"Oh well. Here, catch this one!" She threw it up, and he caught it that time. "It will hatch and wake up someone sleeping!" With that, she waved at him, turning to run back to town.
"Weird...I wonder why she didn't go find him herself?" The faerie shook her head. "Oh well. Come on, Naruto! Let's get going!" He gave her a glare.
"Nag nag nag! That's all you ever do...OW!" Climbing the wall, he skirted the edge, finding himself on the opposite side of the gate. Running down the hill, he began crisscrossing the field, dodging guards. One he almost got caught by. Thankfully for him, they had no depth perception, nor did they have peripheral vision. He found himself on the right of one guard, and any normal person would have seen his bright orange jumpsuit in plain view. However, the guard made no notice of it. He shrugged.
"Sure glad that the guard can't see me!" The guard made no motion. "Hehehe...deaf to. Some guards!" Running to the back of the castle, he began looking around. A snore on his right caught his attention, and he ran over to a pile of boxes, where a man was asleep, snoring peacefully. "I should wake him up! It's probably Tenten's dad!" He brought out the chicken that had just hatched from the egg, miraculously without an incubator or a hen to sit on it. It took a look at the man, than back at Naruto.
"Yeah, right! Like I can wake that fat ass up? You've got to be kidding me!" Taking off, the cucco flew away into the sun. Sighing, Naruto turned back to the man. Glancing at the moat surrounding the castle, he smiled. Going over to the man, who had positioned himself perfectly, Naruto hefted him up, spilling him into the cold water.
"GAAAHHH!!!!" Jumping out, the man began panting like a puppy, staring at the water cascading down his body. "What the hell was that for?" Naruto shrugged.
"It worked, didn't it? Anyways, Tenten says you need to come home!" The man gasped.
"Oh no! Tenten said that? Oh, she'll be so angry with me! I have to hurry home! AARRGG!" Flailing his arms, he began running back towards the main gate. Naruto shook his head as he watched him go.
"What a loser! Afraid of his own daughter. Well, that's done. So, let's get into this place, yeah?" Looking across the moat, he spied a small opening in the wall. "I wonder what that's doing there? Oh well. Hm...how to get across?" He propped himself on one of the boxes, which moved slightly. He cursed, sitting on one as he tried to think of a plan. "I can't just hop across it. Sakura can't just fly me across it. Hm...what to do..." Suddenly, an idea hit him. "Ok, Sakura! We need a large rubberband, some ice, a cow, and a moose, along with three hundred school children!" Sakura cocked her head to the side.
"What the hell are you talking about? Just use the boxes you idiot!" Naruto glanced down, smiling sheepishly at the box underneath him.
"Well...yeah! That was my next method!" Getting up, he began maneuvering boxes around as best as he could, dropping one in the water. It shortened the flight path, and he made a daring jump of over two feet to cross the moat and gain access to the hole in the wall. Crawling into it, he found himself in the garden, looking around. "Wow! So many flowers." However, seeing a guard in the distance, which apparently never saw him, made him stop. "Alright...get past the guards...HERE WE GO!"
A few minutes later, he arrived at the end of the garden. "Shew! That was a close one! All those guards almost caught me. Thank god they didn't wear any glasses today!" Looking around, he spied a young girl staring through a window. Walking up with a swagger, he bowed. "Hello! I'm Naruto!" The girl jumped with fright, staring at him.
"Who are you? What are you doing here!?" Naruto looked up at Sakura.
"I thought I just said who I was." Sakura shrugged.
"You know most royals are inbred. She's probably the same. Go with it." Naruto sighed.
"I'm Naruto. I came here to fight a great evil...or something like that." The girl sighed, blushing slightly.
"Oh! You must be the hero of legend. It was said he'd come with a fairy to fight the evil. I...I'm glad you came." Naruto smiled. The girl was pretty...so he was pretty happy he came to.
"No problem. Now...who are you again?" The girl smiled.
"Certainly you know of me? I am the Princess Haku!" Naruto shrugged.
"Eh...never heard of ya." The princess frowned.
"Well, anyways. Come here...see the evil that the world has brought upon our heads!"
Next chapter: The Evil Amongst Us...and Outside of Us...and Inside of Us...and Stuff!
I know that Haku isn't a girl. However, the fact that I made him the princess will come out later on...just roll with it right now! It's going to be funny as all hell!
By the way...and I apologize for this...if ever you see mistakes in this, like yen being called rupees or things being referred to as Zelda stuff, unless names of monsters, please let me know. I get a little confuseled when I am typing these things...darn it!