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You Want Us to WHAT?!

When Rukia was done telling them what they had to do, Ichigo looked like someone had clubbed him over the head and Renji's jaw had dropped to unbelievable depths.

"W-we can't!" Ichigo sputtered. "It's insane!"

"For once, I agree with him." Renji nodded.

"If you don't do it, you'll have to do a forfeit instead." Inoue's eyes glinted evilly.

'I don't even want to know what it is.' Renji and Ichigo gulped.

"I told you we should have chosen Truth."

"Shut up."

"We're dead."

"You're scared, aren't you?" Rukia grinned.

"Well, of course!" Ichigo glared at her. "I really do value my life and Byakuya will probably slice us up with Senbonzakura BEFORE we get his bloody hairclips!"

"That sounds a lot like Kuchiki-Taichou," Renji sighed.

"I'm sure Byakuya-san isn't so bad!" Inoue chirped. "All you have to do will be to ask nicely!"

"Yeah right. And he'll invite us to dinner after that." Ichigo mumbled.

"Well, we'll leave you two at it," Rukia stood up. "You have till tomorrow night." She paused. "By the way, Nii-sama always has an extra set of kenseikan in his room drawer."

"Bye Kurosaki-kun, Abarai-kun!" Inoue followed Rukia, Chad behind her carrying the still-unconscious Ishida.

"Good luck." He whispered as he walked past.

Rukia could be heard saying "I really like this game." as she went out the door.

'I am so going to kill her.' Renji and Ichigo fumed.

They stared at each other in silence, until Renji finally asked "So, what are we going to do?"

"You're looking at me for ideas?" Ichigo scratched his head. "If we are going to succeed, we need Byakuya drunk, something he hasn't been since he was born. Not to mention the fact that we also need someone to distract him while someone else shunpo-es into the room, grabs the kenseikan and gets the hell outta there. We don't even know where the bloody hell his room is."

"Yeah, and who in their right mind would help us? Not forgetting the only person Kuchiki-Taichou can be beaten in shunpo by is… is…" Renji trailed off. "Hey… wait a minute."

He looked up at Ichigo.

Ichigo stared back at him.

"Yoruichi-san!!!" They exclaimed.

"And the sake and the distraction can be left to?"

"Who else? Who else? The one and only master of sake… Shunsui!" Ichigo gleefully replied.

"Right!" Renji started looking slightly more hopeful. "I can handle Shunsui."

"Then I'll get Yoruichi-san."

"We'll meet back here as soon as possible?"

"No problem." They got up and went outside.

"Don't be too long, Kurosaki." Renji said, shunpo-ing off.

"Wha-" Ichigo glared daggers in the direction Renji had gone. "Boy does he get on my nerves!!

-bleachbleachbleachbleachbleachbleachbleach-

Renji shunpo-ed through the streets of Seireitei towards the Eighth Division headquarters. As it came into sight, slowed down, thinking "I just hope Shunsui doesn't think I'm spouting a load of crap."

Carefully pushing open the huge double doors, he found himself standing in a long corridor, with two more corridors on either side of him and dozens of doors all the way down.

'Where do I go? This isn't anything like the Sixth Division!' He desperately ran a few steps forward, before being stopped by a huge gust of wind.

"HELLO ABARAI-KUN!!!!!!!" Shunsui appeared amidst a dust storm, clutching a bottle of sake in his hand and looking, well, drunk.

"I sensed your reiatsu, so I came along to check it out!" He gave Renji a wobbly smile.

Before Renji could reply, Nanao-chan appeared beside Shunsui, looking grumpy and windswept.

"Taichou! Please do not disappear like that!" She scolded, patting stray strands of hair into place and straightening her vice-captain robes. "Abarai-san" She inclined her head in greeting to Renji.

"Ise-fukutaichou." Renji nodded in return.

"What brings you here at this time of the night?" She asked.

"Sakeee, lovely lovely sakeee!" Shunsui belted out.

"Oh be quiet, Taichou." Nanao-chan pulled his straw hat down over his face.

"How nice! A game! Am I supposed to find you?" Shunsui stuck his hands out and waved them around wildly.

"Taichou! Stop it!" She and Renji ducked to avoid being slapped in the face.

"Alright." Shunsui stopped immediately, straightening his hat. "So, Abarai-kun, what is it you are here for?"

"Uh…" Renji sweat-dropped. "Well, you see, I… need some help."

"I'll help! I'll help! Pick me! Me!" Shunsui jumped up and down ecstatically.

"I pro- What?! But you haven't even heard what you have to do yet!" Renji gabbled.

"That's right, Taichou, sober up please."

Renji proceeded to explain everything that had happened and what he needed Shunsui to do. When he had finished, Nanao-chan was chuckling softly.

"How you manage to consistently get into these situations never ceases to amaze me," She told Renji.

"Please. Don't remind me." He groaned.

"Well, I'm in." Shunsui clapped his hands together happily. "I've always wanted to see Byakuya drunk."

"Really?" Renji heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank you!"

"However, before we meet up with Ichigo, let's have some sake!" He dragged Renji along with him as he went to raid the wine-cellar.

'Oh no…'