A/N: Hello everyone I've got more time to write now because exams are… well, almost over. Heh Heh. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Nope, not me.
Here we go!
Ichigo, Renji, Yoruichi and Shunsui headed out towards Byakuya's residence. After being held up by having to duck into numerous doorways and whatnot to avoid being spotted, considering a Ryoka, Fukutaichou, Taichou and an outlaw running around were not exactly what you would expect to see, they arrived outside his house.
Mansion, rather.
Maybe palace would be a better word.
"It's huge." Ichigo stated simply, summarizing all their thoughts.
"No kidding." Renji agreed. "Shunsui and I had better go look for the entrance."
"We'd best find a tree." Ichigo told Yoruichi. They had agreed that Renji and Shunsui would go in to distract and get Byakuya drunk, while Ichigo and Yoruichi waited until the right time.
"How do we tell you when it's safe to get in?" Shunsui asked.
"Start singing Sha-la-la-la," Yoruichi smirked. "We'll know for sure it's you."
With that, they each went their separate ways to carry out the plan.
Ichigo and Yoruichi ran along the wall surrounding Byakuya's residence. Coming to a towering oak which leant slightly over the wall, they decided it was a good place to station themselves. It gave them a good enough view over the garden as well as the winding path leading up to Byakuya's doorstep.
"We'll be able to see Shunsui and Renji coming up to the house from here." Yoruichi settled herself comfortably down on a wide branch.
"Yeah." Ichigo sighed. "Now we wait."
Searching for any sign of Renji and Shunsui, they waited.
And waited...
And waited...
Finally, when Ichigo had dozed off and been slapped awake by a bored Yoruichi for the third time and there was still no sign of the duo, he finally exclaimed, "WHERE ARE THEY?!!!" Turning to Yoruichi, he pondered, "Did we miss them?"
"I don't see how. We got here fairly quickly and they still had to get to the entrance."
"Arghh! I can't stand this!" He made to stand up, but was stopped by Yoruichi.
"Wait. What's that?" She pointed.
"It's them!" Ichigo sighed in relief. "At la-"
"No, it isn't. Its Rukia." Yoruichi squinted for a better look. Rukia walked slowly into the garden, looking around, her sword strapped to her waistband.
"What's she doing?!" Ichigo hissed. "Why is she here?!"
"What do you mean, 'why is she here'?" Yoruichi gave him a weird look.
"THIS IS BYAKUYA"S HOUSE!!" Ichigo had momentarily forgotten an important fact.
"She's his sister, you deranged dimwit." She bonked him on the head. "Is air all you have between your ears?"
Glaring at her and rubbing the tender spot on his head, he started jumping up and down and waving his hands to attract her attention. Figuring that there would be no harm in showing Rukia their intentions, seeing as she was the one who put them up to it, Yoruichi joined in.
Rukia, catching sight of their flailing limbs in her peripheral vision, turned and baulked at the sight of her friends acting like circus monkeys. Seeing them motioning frantically at her to join them, she leapt lightly up into the tree.
"Yo." She greeted.
"Rukia! Did you see Renji and Shunsui?!" Ichigo asked urgently.
"No. Should I have?"
"YES. They are supposed to be talking to Byakuya now."
"Oh." Her expression clouded thoughtfully. "Oooh." Comprehension dawned on her as she realized what they were going to do.
"By the way, what were you doing?" Yoruichi questioned.
"I was just patrolling the grounds." She replied nonchalantly. "Usually Nii-sama does it, but he's got lots of work today and- HEY! That's Renji and Shunsui!"
True enough, the two were walking up the path. Renji, having known beforehand that Ichigo and Yoruichi would be up a tree somewhere, spotted them quicky and nudged Shunsui, who tipped his hat to them amiably. They both looked somewhat surprised to see Rukia there as well.
"What took you so long?!" Ichigo mouthed at Renji, who shrugged and mouthed back, "We went the wrong way."
Deciding that was an easy thing to do with grounds of this size, Ichigo decided to let them off.
Renji and Shunsui made their way up to Byakuya's mansion. There they paused, not knowing what to do.
"Do we just go in?" Renji looked at Shunsui, unsure.
"Seeing as there's no way to knock…"
Just then, an elderly servant hobbled up, bowing to Renji and Shunsui. "Good evening, I presume you are here to see Kuchiki-sama?"
"Yes, we are." Renji told him in slight relief.
"Please come this way." The servant led them off through a maze of rooms and corridors which made their heads spin.
"No wonder Byakuya has such good memory." Shunsui chuckled merrily.
At last, they arrived in Byakuya's study. The said person was sitting rigidly at his desk, almost hidden by a mountain of paperwork. Upon noticing his 'visitors', he got up calmly and motioned for them to be seated in the available chairs, dismissing his servant with a nod.
Then, he leveled them with a gaze. "What brings you here?"
"W-well," Renji caught Shunsui's eye, they had tried to think of a subject to speak of, but were not really prepared. "We came to discuss the matter of… of… now what was it again, Shunsui?
"Gigais." Shunsui blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
"Yeah." Renji nodded. "Gigais."
"And what about the gigais?" Byakuya questioned.
"They're fake." Shunsui said immediately.
"That's right. They're…fake?" He looked at the Eighth Division captain incredulously, before saying "Ah, yes. Fake."
Byakuya surveyed the both of them suspiciously. He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Shunsui declaring, "Sit down, Byakuya. Sit down. Let's talk over some sake!" He produced two bottles from beneath his robes.
"It helps you think better." Renji offered his captain a glass, which was also courtesy of Shunsui.
Byakuya was starting to feel like he was in the company of two madmen. "I don't drink sake."
"Oh, come on Byakuya. Everyone drinks sake. This one is especially mild." Shunsui, lied, encouraging the baffled Sixth Division Captain, who accepted the cup (of the strongest sake Shunsui could find) Renji was holding out to him, staring at it as though it was a venomous creature. Then, not wanting to appear rude, he tentatively took a sip.
Renji and Shunsui resisted the strong urge to applaud as they drank their sake as well.
The multitude of expressions that went across Byakuya's normally impassive face as he swallowed almost caused Shunsui and Renji to spit their mouthfuls of sake out.
Looking miffed, Byakuya continued at where they left-off. "Fake gigais? When did you encounter this?"
"Ah… You see, all the gigais lately produced by Urahara-San have been… lacking in quality… and… um…" Renji dragged the innocent store-tender and ex-captain into the fray while watching Byakuya take another mouthful of sake.
"Have pink kimonos on." Shunsui concluded, this time causing Byakuya to choke on the sake he had just drunk.
"I beg your pardon?" Shuddering, Byakuya was about to place the loathsome cup on the table, but Shunsui insisted he finish it. Wanting to be rid of the accursed thing, he downed the whole thing in one gulp, only to have Shunsui pour some more in. Being too courteous to deny him, he conceded to his fate.
After fifteen minutes of nonsensical conversation about how Urahara was plagiarizing Shunsui's trademark 'Pink Kimono' look, not to mention quite a few cups of sake, Byakuya realized his vision had become decidedly blurry. Not only that, but Shunsui and Renji seemed to be swimming around in a strange manner. Shaking his head to clear the images only caused him to become dizzier.
"I apologise, but I seem to be feeling slightly unwell." Standing up unsteadily, Byakuya failed to notice Shunsui and Renji punch their fists in the air victoriously. "I will take my leave. We will discuss this matter another time." Nodding slightly to them, he turned around, off balance, and took slightly hesitant steps to the doorway, putting his hand out to open the door.
Missing the handle entirely, he accidentally put his hand through the thin rice-paper covering the doors were made up of instead. The fragile paper was not nearly enough to support Byakuya's weight, causing him to fall face-first with his arm still outstretched through the doorway, creating a human-shaped tear in the rice-paper.
The sight of the regal Sixth Division Captain ploughing through his own doorway was more than Renji and Shunsui could bear. Shaking so hard with the effort of controlling their mirth, they hurried to help Byakuya back to his feet.
Meanwhile, back at the tree, Ichigo was tapping his foot impatiently, muttering "Are they done yet?" under his breath. "What's going on?" He demanded nobody in particular. "I must know what's happening."
"Oh, the suspense is killing me." Yoruichi remarked dryly, sarcasm evident in her voice. At that moment, they all heard the sound of something rip.
"That sounded like the rice-paper on the doors." Rukia tilted her head slightly. "What happened?"
"Well," Ichigo jumped down into the garden they had been staring at, Rukia and Yoruichi right behind him. "Let's not wait around anymore and go find out!"
bleachbleachbleachbleachbleachbleach
A/N: Yay! What's going to happen next? Review Review!
By the way, if you didn't know, 'Gigai' is the fake body Shinigami use when going to the real world