Please Don't Chapter 4, a twilight fanfic

CHAPTER 4

When it happened it was loud and silent at the same time. The hysterics of everyone were silenced by my head trying to understand what had just happened. All I could hear was my breath, even and steady. I was being carried away. The scene I had just witnessed was disappearing faster than I thought possible. But I knew that it would be forever burned into my mind.

It started on the Monday after my weekend with the havens. Well, really it started Tuesday, at lunch. I was sitting at my usual table with Rory, Jill, Elyse and Triston. I was arguing with Rory about whether the remake or original of To Kill a Mockingbird was better. His family gawked at us. I had continued talking when he stopped, figuring I had won. But once finished I could feel the presence of someone else. I looked around. Jonathon was standing right behind me. He asked if he could talk to me for a moment. I followed him just out the doors to the hall.

"So that's who you've been ditching me for?" guilt immediately engulfed me. He had probably sat in the library at lunch waiting for me all last week.

"I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry!" I inhaled deeply but my lungs wouldn't fill with air. I hoped he hadn't felt the same loneliness that I had when my friends left me.

"So, I guess that's who you're going to be spending your lunches with. How about we have one last library lunch? Tomorrow?"

"Of course." I said instantly.

I told this to Rory when I got back.

"He likes you." He said slightly…jealously?

"He should, he's my friend." I said slightly hurt.

"No, I meant he has a crush on you." My cheeks flushed. He was good looking. I knew that a lot of girls had crushes on him. I liked him but not the way I like people I have crushes on.

The next day at lunch I met Jonathon at the library, in the religion section (as always). It was all great until the end.

"I'm going to miss you." He said.

"I'll still be around. I'm not going to disappear off of the face of the earth or anything." He raised an eyebrow.

"I could be." We stood up. He hugged me tightly. It felt well, my small form sheltered by his larger one. He felt warm. It wasn't awkward, except when the thought of him having a crush on me briefly flitted across my mind. I swept it away though.

I missed the bus after school that day. Triston gave me a ride home. Triston drove and Elyse sat in the passenger seat. Rory, Jill, and I were edged in the back. Non e of them would wear their seatbelts no matter how much I scolded them for it. The entire ride Rory and my arms were aligned against each others. His cold skin made my breathing erratic. I knew that I should move my arm away, but I didn't want to. Apparently he didn't either, because he didn't move. I had been setting special boundaries and charts in my head as to when doing what things would be acceptable in our friendship. I didn't want to lose the only friend I had because I had a crush on him.

That night I dreamed about Jonathon. I dreamed that he was happy. He had gotten his grades up. He had hit the homerun at the championship game. We were kissing. He was my boyfriend. When I woke up to the annoying buzz of my alarm clock I was slightly confused. That was the first dream I had had since the one where Jill saved me and Rory left.

It was cold that morning. I stood between Jill and Elyse. We had formed a circle with Triston and Rory on the other side.

"It's going to rain tomorrow, I can tell!" I said excitedly.

"Good job, you watched the weather report this morning." Rory said snidely.

"Yes, but he said it was going to rain on Saturday, I say it is going to rain tomorrow."

"And why is that?"

"It smells like rain." They all looked at each other quizzically then at me like I was going to need to be in a padded room.

Triston closed his eyes and shook his head slowly saying "Kid, sometimes you are just so strange."

"Would you rather I am normal?" I sneered at the last word.

I could see Jonathon walking across the main quad, his hands shoved in his pockets. I smiled and waved to him. I thought that when he withdrew his hand from his pocket it was to wave, but he pulled out a sleek metal object I had seen just about everywhere except in real life. A gun.

This is what years of special TV episodes and people who come in and talk to your class in school were supposed to prepare me for. I was supposed to constantly suspect people from what the special visitors told me. I was supposed to look for clues. But I didn't and this is what happened because of it

The first shot he fired into the air was to get people attention, and it did. It was silent at first. Then the whispers erupted. People trying to get their friends to move for cover. Their whispers soon became screams of desperation. The noise of the fun being fired had reminded me of when my mom had slammed my door yesterday morning when I wouldn't get up.

The next he fired was to quiet everyone. Before I truly noticed us (the havens and I) were the only group of people left standing in plain view. I could feel them pushing me to the shelter of something, talking how they needed to leave as fast as they could. Rory was about to carry me away when Jonathon called my name. I looked at him.

"Cassie, would you please come here?" I was in a trance. I could hear Rory

"Cassie, you need to leave with us now!" but I kept walking. I could hear Elyse say as I left

"If she wants to get killed, just let her." When I reached him I was completely unaware of my surroundings.

"What are you doing?" I asked innocently like I really didn't understand what was happening. His eyebrows rose.

"Trying to solve my problems."

"Oh."

"Cassie, I'm leaving. Please come with me."

"Um," was he asking me what I thought he was asking?

"Please" he said the scared sound obvious in his voice. "I need you with me. You make my days worth while. Your not like the other girls here, your not shallow. It would be just like our lunches, but everyday!

"Please, you brought the only light I had into this year. Heaven wouldn't be right without you."

"I don't believe in heaven… or hell." That was true; I didn't believe that there was anything after death.

"I need you I don't care if you don't want to come." He had the gun pointed at me.

"B…b…but" my mouth was dry. Tears were forming in my eyes, threatening to fall. "I'm not ready; my life is just getting started."

"Please don't make me." He said waggling the gun at me. Someone's hand placed itself over the end of the gun; it pushed Jonathon's hand up so it faced the sky, his hand still covering the end of the gun.

"Jonathon, stop. You can take your own life, but not others."

"Don't tell me what to do" Jonathon yelled.

He jerked his hand towards me. Rory jumped on him, pushing him to the ground. The gun went off. I could have sworn Rory's hand was still over it. Rory was pinning Jonathon to the ground. They were both breathing heavily. Rory's eyes could light up a whole room. He was baring his teeth animalistic ally.

He lifted his head to look at me. I could see his body physically relax. I felt weak in the knees. Not because Rory was looking at me (that also) but because I was sure Rory had just been shot in the hand. Jonathon used the time where Rory wasn't pinning him aggressively to the ground to push him off. Jonathon and Rory both got to their feet. Jonathon moved his head to face me.

"You truly are an angel." Then he lifted the gun to his forehead. Before he could pull the trigger I was being carried away by Rory. When the gun went off it wasn't as gruesome as Hollywood portrayals, but it tore my heart.

I wasn't paying attention to where I was being taken. I was still being carried. My stomach was churning.

"Stop" I demanded "Damn it, STOP!" Still no one even slowed. I started kicking and screaming, but was held in the steel vice of Rory's arms. He looked down at me, his eyes glowing luminous and somehow pained. Someone said something but it was muffled by the wind to my ears.

"Right, I know, I will." Rory called in reply. He then changed the way he was holding me. He bent my knees so that they were over his shoulder and I was hanging upside down against his back.

My blood was rushing to my head. The world looked different from this point of view. Right now I wished the world was different, that what had just happened hadn't. But I knew that there was know point wishing or hoping because that was now the past.

How could Rory just toss me over his shoulder like that, it was a bit rude. I was having trouble forming a coherent thought. I was suffering from a horrid headache.

Why did he? What about? Who? But I thought?

I couldn't finish a thought, there were too many of them. Surely I was going to throw up any moment, my stomach felt that way. But instead I lost consciousness.

When I came back to life I was sitting on the ground leaning against a toilet bowl. My mouth tasted like I probably had thrown up which would make sense as to where I was. There was a ringing in my ears, someone was rubbing my back to comfort me.

"Are you feeling any better?" Rory soothed.

Turning to him I screeched "You did that on purpose!"

"Did what?"

"You made me pass out by holding me upside down!"

"I'm sorry, I was trying to get you out of there as fast as I could, but you started kicking and screaming and I had to get you to be quiet."

I hadn't been listening since he said 'there'. I knew where he was talking about, what he was talking about. I was crying against my will. I pivoted to face him, looking for comfort. I put my head against his chest and he held me close.

It was an odd picture. We were huddled together on an elegant bathroom floor. I don't know how long we were there but soon I became cold between the tile floor and Rory's frigid body. Why was he always so cold?

"Come on lets get you a blanket."

"No."

"Yes" Jill said as she came in. she took me by my elbow and towed me out of the bathroom, handing me a blanket when we got to the hall. I whimpered as the sun that shone through the windows hurt my eyes. I didn't think that the sun should be shining today, not when someone so close to me died. But I knew that people died very day and that the sun didn't really care about it that much.

Jill lead me to an office that looked like it belonged in a detective movie. Damien was sitting in a chair behind the desk.

"I think that you should call your mom." He told me as he handed me the phone.

I dialed the house, no one picked up.

I dialed my mom's cell phone number.

"Hello Michelle Sunnel designs."

"Hi mom."

"Cassie shouldn't you be in school?" she reprimanded.

"Um, this thing happened in school and everyone was sent home." I didn't know if that was true but that was probably what had happened.

"What happened?" my mother asked urgently.

"I'll tell you when you get home."

"Where are you now?"

"Oh," I was distracted by Jill shoving a piece of paper in front of my nose that said tell her you're with me, Jill " I'm with my friend Jill."

"Who's Jill?"

" A friend from school."

" How did you meet her?"

"She's Rory's sister. Look mom I've got to go, love you." I said quickly before hanging up. I stood up and Rory, Damien, and Jill stared at me.

"Let's get some food in you before you pass out, again." Jill laughed and I managed a weak smile. I ambled after her down the stairs while Rory watched me cautiously.

I was lead to an immaculate kitchen and handed a plate of food. I didn't even look at what it was. I just ate it.

" You're taking this calmer than I would have expected."

"Well, I realized that once he had decided to do it he wasn't going to let anything stop him." I didn't realize that I thought this true until I said this.

"But didn't you want to stop him?"

"Of course I did," I said slightly offended. "But he was going to kill" it was hard to say that word " himself one way or another and that was how he wanted to do it. I wouldn't have been able to stop him."

Rory had been sitting listening silently, but joined in. "what about what he said to you?"

"Huh?" what did he say to me? It was strange that I didn't notice. I always made a point of saying nice things to people before I left somewhere in case something happened.

Rory's eyebrows rose. "He said 'you truly are an angel'." I snorted.

"I always thought of angels as less bitchy." I paused and my voice turned sad. " I'm glad that he told me that though. I can't believe that I will never hear him speak again, and will never see him again. It's just strange. If I were to see him or hear him it would be a memory, and a memory wouldn't do him justice."

"So," Jill matched my tone " whatever we do today is going to be kind of a downer."

I looked at her vividly gleaming eyes and felt a shot of adrenaline enter my blood stream. I wasn't scared though, I felt safe with them.

"No, I don't want to mourn his death, I want to celebrate his life." I knew that that sounded extremely cliché, but that was what I wanted to do.

"Okay, what do you want to do?"

"I, I don't know. Something fun and exhilarating."

"Since when were you such a 'daredevil?'" Rory asked sarcastically.

I sighed

"One last question before we decide what to do today. Do you really not believe in heaven or hell?"

"No, I don't" I answered curtly.

" Rory, what do you want to do today?" Jill asked to shoo away the tension. Rory exhaled heavily and sat back in his chair.

"No idea."

"Hmm, well I have an idea for tonight, but it is only noon." She said consulting the clock on the wall. The sun filtered to us through the window.

"Well Cassie, what do you think about skydiving?" we all laughed openly at Jill's joke.

Triston joined us in the kitchen. " I didn't know that people laughed while in mourning."

"I'm not mourning, I'm celebrating his life." Triston looked at me nervously after I said this.

"How?"

"We have no idea yet."

"Kid, I am glad you aren't normal."

"How about we hang around the house today until tonight." Rory suggested.

"Fine with me, as long as I have fun tonight."

"Okay then it's settled" Jill announced proudly.

"What are we going to do tonight?" I asked.

"Uh-uh, no way it's a surprise." She said wagging her finger at me.

" Elyse popped her head around the corner. "I heard that you were talking about doing something tonight."

"Yup."

"Ji-ill" Elyse said making the name sound like two syllables. "Tell me!" Jill rolled her eyes but went to Elyse and whispered in her ear, a deviant smile came across her face.

"That's not fair! You told her and not me?"

"You'll get over it." Rory said as he picked me up from the chair and carried me to the living room.

"Show-off" I muttered as he plopped me down on the fluffy cream colored

Couch. "Why do you carry me? Most people don't carry people unless they're hurt."

"What can I say, you're special." I scowled while he smirked. I didn't like praise from my friends, it was always creepy. If I wasn't uncomfortable when he carried me then I was definitely uncomfortable when he complimented me. I flushed a rosy pink.

"I don't think you were scared enough today." Triston was speaking. "We should in fuse some proper fear into you." He said while putting the grudge 2 into the DVD player. I was squished between Rory and Triston on the couch. No one aside from me was screaming. That was fine though, because I was screaming enough for all of them. When I did my face drained of any color and I would yelp and squeeze Rory's hand.

In the middle of the movie Triston got up for what I thought was to use the bathroom. When he came back he was silent and the scary music was playing that tells you something is about to happen. He gripped one icy hand around my throat lightly, and I let out a bloodcurdling scream.

Everyone looked at Triston nervously then berating. Rory jumped up and yelled " Don't scare my girlfriend!"

My face flushed so scarlet I was going clammy. I could see Jill and Elyse's pursed mouths to suppress smiles. And I could feel everyone's eyes boring into my head. I just stared straight ahead. Too embarrassed to move.

"Kiddo, I think you and Rory need to talk." Triston said breaking the silence. I followed Rory in a trance like state down the hall a little.

"I'm sorry." He said.

"For what?"

"Is that a trick question?"

"No."

"Then I'm sorry for saying you were my girlfriend."

"Don't be. It's great to know you care."

"So you will be?"

"I," I didn't know why I shouldn't. I didn't have anymore friends to lose. But something was holding me back. Something that I was only aware of in my subconscious. "I'll think about it."

We walked back into the living room.

"So…?" Jill asked.

"You don't have to tell them, they were listening." Rory scowled.

After the movie we flipped through the channels, avoiding the news. Around four-o-clock Jill and Elyse took me to Elyse's room.

"Are you going to tell me what we are going to do tonight?"

"Yes." Jill said.

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"We're going to a club tonight." Elyse stated. That sounded fun. I knew how to dance and have fun. I was part of group freshman's that got invited to the senior parties. I just had one problem with their plan.

"Jill, Elyse, I'm not exactly wearing club appropriate clothing."

"We noticed." Elyse criticized.

They started walking to a door at the end of the room. "Come here." Jill said. I did when they opened the door it was an immense walk in closet, full of clothing and shoes. "We already have our outfits just pick yours." They closed the door to the closet leaving me enclosed with the many articles of clothing. Once I picked out a skirt I realized I had a second problem.

I opened the door, "Jill, Elyse, I haven't shaved my legs. I don't think I'm going to be wearing a skirt." Jill popped up and pulled me out of the closet. She handed me a can of shaving cream and a disposable razor.

Once I was done shaving and I had picked out an out fit I emerged. But I was sent back when they said that I couldn't wear my converse. I didn't like the idea of wearing high heels but knew that they wouldn't let me go with converse.

Finally done I left the closet. I was wearing a low cut black tight spaghetti strap tank top that had embroidery down the v neck with an audaciously small denim miniskirt. I had on red high heels that had a ribbon that wrapped around my ankles and had a bow in the front.

Jill and Elyse both looked amazing! They were more gorgeous than any supermodels. They were in front of the mirror doing make up. I was instructed to look through magazines until I found a look that I liked.

They did my make-up better than I could have. My eye shadow was black and gold that was subtly blended and I had pale pink blush on. They wanted to put lipstick on me but I refused. They did my hair in tousled waves. I had never felt this good. I was surprised to find that when we were finished it was a little past six.

Rory and Triston met us at the ground floor. They both wore dark wash jeans and button down shirts. Triston's shirt was black and short sleeved and contrasted phenomenally with his skin tone. Rory's was white and long sleeved, but he had the sleeves pushed up to just before his elbow.

We all walked to the car and hopped in. I was happy to be in the back in the middle. I didn't have a perspective to see just how fast we were going. It wasn't until we crossed the golden gate bridge that I had become confused.

"Where are we going?"

"To a club."

"You mean like a real club?" I had thought that we were going to go to a teen club in Marin.

"Yes." Said Elyse like it was obvious.

"I don't have an I.D."

"That's okay, just play along when we get there." Triston told me.

We pulled into a garage in front of a nice club. When we approached the bouncer he asked, "are you all 18?"

"Yes" we all replied.

"May I see I'd.?" they all handed him one in turn. When it was my turn Triston spoke for me.

"She's visiting from Canada and we surprised her with bringing her here, she forgot to bring I.D." the bouncer looked from me to Triston.

"Please?" Elyse asked. The bouncer was stunned.

"Oh...Of course" he paused "just remembers I.D. next time."

Once inside the temperature had gone up about twenty degrees. I was very surprised that I passed for eighteen. Jill squeezed my hand lightly. "Let's go dance!" and then I was dragged into the swarms of people.

After a good hour and a half of dancing I needed to sit down. Elyse said she would come with me. When I sat down she left then returned with a glass of alcohol. She tried to hand it to me.

"I don't drink." I told her.

"It's one drink, you'll be okay."

"I don't drink." I repeated. This was true I never drank if someone handed me a drink at a party I would refuse or dump it somewhere when they weren't looking.

"Triston isn't drinking because he is driving, but I think it will help you relax a bit."

"You're corrupting me" I informed her as I took the large glass from her. I took a drink from it. It felt warm even though the glass was cold. I finished it before going back to the dance floor.

Before I knew it I had my body pressed up against Rory's and was dancing shamelessly with him. I looked into his eyes while the DJ was changing a song. I don't know what had compelled me to do it but I went on my tippy-toes and kissed him. It was like our last kiss, neither of us opened our mouths but it was still really passionate. I was reminded of my dream of kissing Jonathon. It was strange to think that that happened less than twenty-four hours ago. Was it wrong to be thinking about Jonathon while I was kissing Rory? Was it wrong to be kissing Rory when I wasn't sure what to do about the stability of our relationship? I didn't want to think about it. Any ways ignorance is bliss.